Melissa R.

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About a year ago I was 2 months postop.  I was sitting in my car at Atlanta Bread Co. waiting for some of the women to arrive for our postop meeting.  I saw 2 women get out of a car and walk in.  I saw them and said to myself that I wanted to look like that and wear capri pants like one of them had on.  I got out of my car and went over to a table outside when Kathy arrived.  While we were sitting there those 2 women came out. One was Marcey ( she had on the capris)  and Darquise.  I told Marcey that I had seen her and never though she had had surgery she looked great.  I told her that I wanted to look like her.  Well low and behold I am wearing those capri pants today!!!!!!  She gave them to me and they have been in my draw for a while.  I pulled them out today and they look so good.  I can not believe that I am in the size pants that one year ago was only a dream for me!!!!!  I am so happy that I had this surgery.  It has truly changed my life.  I thought that if I could ever wear this size that it would be a miracle.  Now to think that i might go lower is unreal to me.  I always said I would be soooo happy in a 12.  I am in a 12.  The though of wearing a 10 or 8 seems crazy.  Could I ever be in an 8?  

It doesn't matter.  Today I am very comfortable in my 12!!!!!!!  Woo Hoo me!!!!

The week always flies by.  One more day and then back to work.  Sometimes, it seems like the weekend is longer then the week.  This weekend will be kind of crazy for me.  My mom is having surgery on Monday.  I will need to wrap everything up over the weekend regarding work. I usually  put off calling the doctors until Monday, but this weekend the on call docs are going to here from me.  Won't they be thrilled?!?!?!?  

I went to the gym this morning.  This was not a regular gym day.  Usually, it is M,W, F.  I decided to throw in an extra day this week.  Yeah me!!!!

Still struggling with the afternoon snacking.  I did opt for carrot sticks and low fat ranch dressing.  Can't be too much harm in that.  I hope that it will last me for a while.  It is only 1:20 in the afternoon!!!!!

Oh well, having kind of a blah day today....... 

The afternoon is always the hardest part of the day for me regarding food. I don't know why that is, but it is.  I could go all morning and eat nothing, but when the afternoon hits......I can eat everything.  I do eat in the morning or I will have a protein shake, but I don't really care to eat.  I don't think about it.  BUT, in the afternoon, that is all I think about!  I don't know why that is.  It drives me crazy.  Then I spend several hours justifying it.  "Well, I didn't have much this morning so its ok".  Why do I do this?  It totally blows my mind.  I have at least made smarter choices to day.  Usually, I just want junk.  

I wish there was a cure for the sick mind!!!!

Another week is starting.  I did go to the gym this morning.  yeah me!  I am sipping a protein shake and can smell the popcorn my son just popped.  I think I may have to kill him......it smells sooooo good.  I am trying to start this week off on the right foot.  Hopefully, I will be successful!
Missing all my friends at support group.  I don't think I will be going tonight.  I am going to spend some time with my mom getting a pedicure.  She is having surgery next week and wants to have her toes looking pretty.  I think I will go with her!!
Anyway....just another Monday......

Time is flying by.  It seems like forever since I have posted.  things have been terribly busy around here.  I have an appointment with Dr. Bour tomorrow.  I am late having my 1 year appointment.  Just too many things and dread I guess has kept me from going.  I know that I have lost some weigh from my last visit, but it is not the amount I would like to see.  

I still a busy next few weeks ahead of me.  Yesterday Samantha had a tonsilectomy.  She is doing well...praise the Lord.  Joseph got his spacers on Monday for his braces.  He will get those this Monday.  Mom is having her first knee surgery in a week and a half.  I know I will be busy with her as well.  Trying to squeeze the gym in there when possible.  It has been hard with everything going on.  

I am still looking for a way to make it a priority.  Will that ever happen?  

I miss my UPS friends.  I feel like I haven't seen them in a while.  We had an awesome BBQ at Kathy's house.  That was the last time I saw anyone.  I hope to go Monday night.  We will see what happens.  I miss the support from them when I don't go on Mondays.

Well, I must say I have struggled  a bit the last 2 days.  Last night it hit me.....the sweet tooth.....  I had 2 peanut butter cups and 2 choco. chip cookies!!  I have really done well and that makes me feel like such a failure.  Why can't I say no!!!  What is it that makes me sooo weak.  Today I have had a chocolate chip cookie.  I only had one and I am seriously trying to keep away from the bag.  I get soooo mad at myself.  I have not weighed myself in a couple 3 days.  I really think that helps!!!!  I am more accountable for what I eat when I step on that scale.  I am not going to weigh myself now because it is the middle of the day...BUT I am going to do it in the morning.  Back with it.  I was going to a step class tonight, but I think I will be at my parents house helping them open their pool this evening.  I feel like I will get some exercise in, not as much as if I went to the class,but they need my help.  

Mike and I are going away for a night Thursday.  I am sooooo excited.  We have not had any time alone together in a while.  It will be nice.  Of course we are taking the bike.  It is supposed to be beautiful weather so I am excited.  I love my husband and I want to be the best wife I can to him.  He certainly is the best husband I could ever have hoped for.  He loves me for who I am...big or little.  I love you, Mike.  

This July will be our 15th anniversary!!!  I can't believe we have been together for 15 years.   Amazing.....absolutely amazing that he has put up with me for sooo  long!!!!!

It is Monday morning.  2nd week of our challenge. I still have not measured myself, I guess at this point I won't.  I dont'really care about the numbers (yeah right), I just care that I have taken the challenge to do something good for myself.  I am pleased with what I have done so far.  I did not evercise as much as I wanted to last week, but only because I truly ahd a million things going on.  It is teh end of the school year and I as soooo busy with the kids.  I really stayed on track with the foods that I ate.  I did have an occasional bite, but that was it.  Not a cup or a bowl, but a bite!!!!  I am finally under 200.  I went from 201 to 198 on Friday!!!  I was so thrilled.  I don't remember the last time I weighted less than 200 pounds.  I actually weigh less than Mike.  I don't know if I have ever weighed less than him. Tonight is support group, so I am looking forward to that.  I am gong to meet Marcey in a few minutes at the gym.  NO class this morning, but a good workout planned.  I think Mike cracked my rib last week.  It is still hurting and I know that there are things in the class I won't be able to do.  I am going to try ti increase my cardio some.  I do a good thirty minutes, but I would like to see it increase.  I think today I will start that. 

Ok, so it is Thursday of the first week of our challenge.  I did not weigh myself on Monday, in fact it was Tuesday night before I did and the scale was not kind. I stepped on it wednesday morning and it was better.  I know that your weight increases as the day goes on so I expected it to be lower first thing in the morning...buck naked. after I p'ed. Today.....well it sits on the very same numbers.  I can hardly stand it.  I have done sooooooo well with eating this week and the exercise yesterday nearly killed me.  I am hoping that the reason it did not go down was because of all the swelling from the trauma to my muscles yesterday!!!!!  This is so why I have not kept a scale in my house!!!  I will now be living and dying by the scale!!!!!!  It...in 2 days...has taken over my life.  I knew it was going to be this way.  I am hoping that once it starts moving again.....if it does...then I can be a normal person and not obsess about it.  Probably won't happen, but i am hopeful.  

I am happy about my progress, I would like to see more, but I am happy.  My kids say that I am pretty, I am so much more active, I am enjoying my life, and my husband calls me Hot!  These are all great things.  I have nothing to be sad about, yet I feel as though I will never reach "goal"....

So today we are starting our exercise challenge.  I am supposed to measure, weigh and take a picture of myself today.  I am going to do it.  I have not measured myself one time since having surgery. I wish that I would have.  I think it is a excellent way of seeing progress, but I never did it.  I worked out at the gym this morning.  I am hoping to go to the beginner step class tomorrow night.  Wednesday, I will be back in the gym with Marcey.  I am going to loose more weigh over the next 6 weeks.  I am determined to do it!!!  I am going to be accountable to myself.  I am worth it and I am going to do it!!!!

I am sooo ready for summer.  Sitting at the pool with my kids, sleeping late, no homework!!!  I am ready.  I love summer!  I usually plan a trip to Virginia to see me very bestest friend, Darlene.  She and I have been friends since we were in the 5th grade.  I miss her dearly.  We have the kind of friendship that we may not talk for a month or 2 but we can pick right back up where we left off.  She has 2 kids and our kids get along as if we were neighbors and they played together everyday.  It is awesome the way our friendship is.  We were met to be friends!!!  I haveonly had one friendship like that in my life and I feel very luck to have that.  
I now have other friends that I did not have before surgery.  There are several people who have become very important  to me.  I feel like I have known them for years as well.  It is awesome!!  It is weird when I think about the fact that I did not really have any friends.  I have people that I work with and go to church with that I am friendly with, but no real true friend.  I get sad for myself sometimes when I think about how lonely I was.  I would hate for my children to go through their lives without friends.  I hope my children never feel lonely.  The thought of that just breaks my heart.  

My goodness, what brought that on???  Tomorrow is Friday and that means bike day with the honey!!!! WoooHooo!  Been waiting all week for this.  I am afraid to look at the weather.  Hopefully, it won't rain!!!!