Michelle G.

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My recent weight loss is a result of RNY Gastric Bypass. I had surgery May 19th after months of dealing with insurance and years of research. It was never meant to be a secret, it's just that my medical history is no ones business. I made the decision to have weight loss surgery to save my life. I had a difficult recovery, having to be re-hospitalized with MRSA infection. I just started to feel like myself a couple of weeks ago and now I finally feel like it was worth it. I am happy with the tool I've been given to help me with my life-long battle with my weight. So yeah, there it is.

As of today, I've lost 60 pounds since surgery and 76 pounds since the beginning of the year. I've got a lot going on at home & work and I just feel like I'm stuck. I don't have anymore energy than I did before surgery. I'm still in bed by 9 PM every evening and I'm even getting up half an hour later in the morning. I realize I had a major surgery. I realize I had MRSA. But still, I thought I'd feel better by now. I'm having a real hard time getting back to exercising. I still don't feel like I have time to exercise. I hope I get over this hump soon. I go to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully they will take my JP drain out (from the MRSA). I've had it since the beginning of June and I'm ready to be normal again. Okay, I'm done for now.

I got home from the hospital yesterday. We went down Tuesday because I had major swelling, pain, and a fever. All of this stems from the hernia repair & not the bypass. I keep saying that so everyone knows it's not a complication of the bypass. So we get to the clinic and they suction about 50 cc of fluid from behind the hernia repair incision. Instant relief from the pressure and pain. Thought I was going to get away with some antibiotics and be on my way. Doc comes in and says he'd like to admit me and get some fluids going & IV antibiotics with a CT Scan in the morning to see if more fluid forms. I could already tell in the morning there was fluid again. The nurse brings me 2 huge classes of contrast and says I need to drink them in 10 minutes. Um, can I even physically do that? She says to stop if I start to feel sick (thanks). It took me 20 minutes but I got it. CT Scan shows fluid (duh) so they would but an order in to have a drain placed. I was sick with fever & chills and even nausea. I was getting scared, I've never been that sick. I thought I was dying. Finally they come get me to place the drain and instantly feel the pressure subside again. Then they have to stop the antibiotics because my kidney functions weren't right and the antibiotic levels were too high. Blood cultures, multiple labs, and Infectious Disease doctor visits later we're told I could be there for days still. Finally on Friday, they come in and say my levels were good and I could go home on an oral antibiotic. But, I am certain I would almost rather be in the hospital than have to take this medication. It tastes horrible and I feel bad for about an hour after I take it. Not to mention it's expensive. Thank God we have insurance. I got MRSA, maybe I already had it. That part is still unclear. All I know is want to just get better so I can start my weight loss, the whole reason behind the initial surgery. Damn that hernia repair anyways.

Today has been better. Of course, I had company today and wasn't able to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I mean come on, I could've died during surgery and I'm upset because I can't eat. WTF? I wasn't ready for the emotional stuff so soon. I still have a week and a half off work and I'm pretty confident I'll feel up to going back when I had planned. I miss being able to help around the house, tickle my daughter, and cuddle with my husband. Hell, I would love to just sleep laying down at this point. I'm beginning to think I'll get rid of my recliner after this. I'm so tired of being in it so much. Today was better pain wise than yesterday and I am so happy about that. My "pain" consists of muscle soreness mostly. I had to have that hernia repaired that I wasn't expecting and I have a feeling if it weren't for that happening, I'd be back at work. So that's how it's been going. Oh, and I'm down 19 pounds from checking into the hospital. I'll take that. Hell yeah I will.

So, I bought something today for "sometime after surgery". We were at JC Penny's and they had a suit set marked down to $15 from $80. It's a brown jacket and skirt with a cream/brown pokadot tank top. It was a size 16 so it's not like it was a size 4 but I couldn't help it. It was one of those outfits I'd look at and think, "Man, I wish I could wear something like that". Hopefully soon, I will. My husband says to me the other day, "Now remember, you're doing this to be healthy" to which I responded "Yeah, with some awesome side effects, like looking hot". We had a chuckle then went on with our day. But in all seriousness, I do want to be healthy but I also want to be able to by clothes I want, not just the ones that fit.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all

I will be having surgery the 19th of May I'm excited, nervous, scared, ready. This summer will be the first summer of my new self. And I am ready for that.

My office knows I will be having it done but not really anyone else at school does. I'm not sure what to do it that respect. The 19th of May is the last day of school so I won't see some of these people until August. I think I'll just let it go and deal with the questions as they come this fall. All I know I hopefully won't be as hesitent to have my fall school picture taken

I got a call from the insurance company today. I am APPROVED!!! Now I just need to get things in order and figure out when I can schedule my surgery. I'm excited and scared but oh so happy.

My evals all went very well yesterday. I liked everyone I met. They were all very helpful and very polite. I was told they would probably get everything to my insurance company next week. So now I just wait to hear if the insurance company has conditions I have to complete. So right now I'm feeling pretty confident. Yay!! So exciting and scary at the same time.

My evaluations are set for January 5th. I hope everything goes well. I'm nervous for the nutritional and psych part. I'm afraid they won't think I've tried hard enough or my thoughts on surgery are unrealistic. I'm just going to be myself and be honest about how I'm feeling. I mean, I have doubts and fears about the surgery but I was the same way when I had my gallbladder removed. I also have fears and doubts (for lack of better terms) about not being heavy. I've been fat since my very first memories. I don't know what it's like to be a 'normal' weight, to not obsess about what I should eat, how much, etc, etc, etc. Just some more of the millions of thoughts running through my head this week. 

I'll go in tomorrow to have my blood drawn for all the labs the insurance co wants done. I actually just had all those done not even 6 months ago and everything was great. Aside from my 'height to weight ratio' I'm in perfect health. My Dr said they would call the surgeons' office and set up my appointments but have not heard anything yet. She kept rambling on about Opti-fast. "Its a non-surgical bariatrics program that works very similar to banding." I'm sorry but if my insurance will only pay for one 'treatment' its going to be surgery. And I've pretty much made up my mind to do the bypass. Even my doctor couldn't believe I weigh as much as I do. She had her nurse weigh me twice and measure my height 3 times because she didn't believe my BMI was as high as is it.  I've been heavy, forever. I believe there needs to be some alterations made to my body. Maybe I'm naive or too hopeful, but I really believe I need the bypass to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. I will never be able to do it otherwise. I thought I'd call my doctor back and perhaps have my OBGYN send a letter to the insurance co as well since he's the first doctor to ever actually say to me, "Have you thought about Gastric Bypass?". I also saw an Endo a few years ago who was very concerned and wanted to have it done ASAP. I'm pretty confident about getting approved. At least I hope they aren't too ignorant and make me wait until I have 3 or more comorbidities to do it. I would think they'd want to do while I'm young and still have a chance to change my life. I guess we'll find out.