Back from Alaska

Aug 23, 2010

Jack and I took a 7 day cruise to Alaska. It was such a beautiful place but I have to say tempting foods are a real challenge for me. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I find that I can justify poor decisions too easily. I'm not going to beat myself up over the cruise. It was vacation and I'm back. It's time to get myself focussed on why I want to live a healthy lifestyle, why I wanted to lose my weight and what things I need to do to get and stay at a healthy weight.

I have an appointment with my therapist today. I have sketched out some things to talk about. Mostly, I'm struggling with why I haven't been measuring my portions the last couple months and why I haven't been planning healthy meals. I don't know if it's the stress of getting married my birhtday in May or some bigger underlying issue that I am not dealing with.

Sometimes I feel like I am yo-yoing between periods of healthy living and periods of not-so-healthy living. My goal is to find a balance. If I can't, then I would prefer to eliminate those foods that I cannot moderate. Of course, I say this now. At 10pm, I don't always feel this way.

I write these feelings and issues here because it's my journal. My place to be brutally honest with myself and to try and examine what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and figure out how to live long term with my band. If other people can identify with what I am going through, great. If not, that's fine too. The real goal is for me to have a history of this experience that I can look back on. I'm realizing that I have stopped journaling and, in the process, stopped thinking about this journey... meal planning, exercise and all of the other things that are associated with living with my band. I need to get back to basics and daily rituals that enable me to be successful long term. One of those rituals is journaling. it gives me cause to pause and reflect on my day or week and think about what I'm doing and how it's either helping or hindering my progress on this journey.

So, the vacation is over. Now I need to work on a Wellness Vision for myself. I need to start planning my meals and getting excited about that aspect of my life again. I think I have been caught up in painting and other things with my house that distract me from my real priorities.

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