MisJasso

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THE GOOD NEWS
Summer is here.
My shorts from last year are baggy.
I can put on a t-shirt without having to stretch it out to fit.
I have energy left in the evenings. 
I'm happy.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD NEWS
I sometimes worry that I'm losing too slow.
I have bad dreams about over-eating or binge eating.
I'm so afraid that I'm going to stretch my stomach.
Hard to get the recommended protein every day. 

THE PLAN
SWIM! Bought a pool so I can EXERCISE and soak up a little vitamin D.
Wear a pedometer every day.  10,000 steps minimum.
Work harder to hit the nutrition goals.
Journal every day!

Surgery was Wednesday (April 27th) and I was home by Friday afternoon.  I can't believe how great I feel 4 days after a major surgery.  I have very little discomfort, mostly boredom.

The hosptial and nurses at Hurley were FIVE STAR.  The level of compassion and care was felt by my family members as well as myself.  Just one more smile along this journey.

I have follow up appointments next week with my primary and surgeon.  I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.

Thank you all for your love and support. 

I'm ready to run. 

I'm day 11 into my pre-surgery liquid diet.  Actually doing quite well.  It was rough the first 5 days or so, but now I  don't think much about food at all.  I saw a therapist on the 20th.  She is amazing.  I was able to talk openly about my food addiction, and how much I feel that I'm just watching my life pass by because I'm too fat to participate.  I will meet with her on a weekly basis.  She gives me the promise that I will overcome my addiction while taking the steps to make my body healthy.  I feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

This morning I received a call from the surgeons office.  They are moving my surgery date from the 28th to the 27th.  I found myself giddy on the telephone.  It's like I'm a child, and Christmas is arriving early.

This journey into total mind and body wellness make me feel incredible.  I'm taking charge, and it feels good! 

Started my all liquid diet last Wednesday.  Wasn't bad until yesterday.  I found myself being mean and cranky...then I just wanted to cry.  Ended up cheating, and now I am beating myself up mentally.  I'm back on track with the all liquid diet, and my cheating was minimal....just so damn angry that I cheated to begin with.

Surgery date is the 28th.  I see a therapist on the 20th.  Still feeling excited and anxious.  Feels like the LONGEST two weeks of my life!!!!!!!!!

This is how I feel!  Happy...yet my thoughts are all over the place!

Surgery date has been bumped to the 28th.  I am excited and quite nervous.

I do find comfort here...in the blogs and posts from all of those who have blazed the trail...so to speak.

I haven't posted since my seminar visit to Hurley Medical Center's Bariatric Program.  I suppose because I have had so many emotions, I wasn't sure how to express them.

My insurance approved my surgery immediately.  I then went through a psychological examination only to find out that food is (and has always been) my drug of choice.  I know that I must change my mind along with surgical changes to my body.  I am prepared, willing and able.

I received a call today.  My surgery has been scheduled for April 25th, 2011 at 10am.  I have a nutrition class I must attend next week, a pre-admission test that must be done and I will start a liquid protein diet on April 10th.  

For so long I have felt as if I was a spectator in my own life...often times sitting on the sideline watching because of being physically unable to participate.   Knowing that all of that is soon to change fills me with joy.  I'm so very excited at the possibilities that lie before me. 

Ten years ago was the first time I heard about WLS (weight loss surgery).  It seemed insane to me.  Why would I have an elective surgery, when all I needed to do was stop eating?

In the past decade I have gained and lost 20-50lbs over and over again.  Weight Watchers, Medical Weight Loss, Alli, Redux, Atkins, Tops, Slim Fast and Jenny Craig just to name a few.  Nothing offered a long-term solution to my obesity.  I would be successful until I hit that first plateau that lasted more than a month.  The frustration would set in, and slowly I would return to my unhealthy eating habits.

Last month I attended a WLS seminar hosted by Hurley Medical Center.  I know that WLS isn't magic, but I needed to know if it was a tool that would finally help me reach success in my efforts to lost weight and keep it off.

I'm not going to edit the title of this post.  It is, "Hello World."  It is the defining moment that I make my private journey very public.

I just turned 48 years old.  I am morbidly obese.  At 5'2", I weigh 299.4 lbs.  My BMI is 55.  I have high blood pressure, depression, aching back, sore joints and sleep apnea.

I've been overweight as long as I can remember.  Chubby kid.  Over weight teen.  Fat mom.  Morbidly obese grandmother.  I've done all the diets, some with moderate success, once even losing 50lbs on Weight Watchers.  Eventually I would plateau, get frustrated and slowly fall back into my unhealthy habits.  I'd gain back all the weight I lost, plus an additional 20lbs.

It's not a story that hasn't been told hundreds of times before...but it's my story.  One I have put off writing for much too long.   As the author, I am empowered to decide the outcome.  Success or failure.  Happiness or despair.  I am aiming for the "Happily Ever After."