The End. (of 2009 that is)
Dec 31, 2009It's been a LONG time since I blogged on this site. All the issues people were having on the Message Boards really turned me off but I did keep in touch with the really "kewl" ones on Twitter...so that's were I am most of the time.
My ending weight for this year is 206 lbs. I had a really hard time and gained up to 211 but have lost it and am in the process of losing it. I constantly had what the Doctor said to me in the back of my mind and I think that it bothered me so much that I made it almost an excuse to eat (he said he didn't think I'd get below 180- ever).
I fucked up my own head and the weight gain came with that. It's my own damn fault because the surgery didn't fail me- I FAILED me but I'm back on track and heading in the right direction...that direction is DOWN (scale wise). Every stress, problem, upsetting moment or even HAPPY times- I used as an excuse to eat. Now that I have recognized it- I'm ahead of the game and have taken off a pound a day for the last 4 days. Progress is an ego booster. Control is Power for me at this point.
WHAT AM I PROACTIVELY DOING ABOUT IT?
I am on www.livestrong.com logging my food EVERYDAY. I am exercising in SOME way EVERYDAY. I am holding myself accountable EVERYDAY. I joined a binge eating challenge and I post my progress on it EVERYDAY. I ask for help from friends AND total strangers on weight loss related sites- EVERYDAY. Asking for HELP is hard sometimes, but very necessary!
Yup. This surgery is NOT a quick fix and if someone tells you that you'll never be on a diet again- they're lying. This is a FOREVER diet, Kids...for real.
WHAT ELSE? Hmmm....
I continue to update my www.freewebs.com/fatadventures website and I'm planning on turning it into a web cast this year. Maybe I'll get famous? Want my autograph now so u can sell it on EBay later? (wink) I just hope my site helped at least ONE person become encouraged to exercise...that would make it all worth while.
My daughter Jade (21) had a baby boy and my Grandson Caiden is the Apple of my Eye and my new FAT ADVENTURES partner.
My daughter Bailey (17) is graduating on time (and not late like the idiots at LAUSD said she would), with a 3.75 GPA and is going off to Santa Barbara City College in the Fall of 2010 for 2 years and then will transfer to UCSB. She wants to be a Photo Journalist!
No one in my Romantic life at the moment. I'm so tired of BULLSHIT that I started to date MYSELF...we have FUN together!
Same job. It sucks but money is money and it pays the rent.
I'm beginning to work on a novel and I hope it will be finished by this time next year...Wish me good luck and NO WRITERS BLOCK. After the 1st book I co-wrote came out, I had 12 years of writer block to deal with and then it came to me- It's not writes block, it's lack of self esteem. Now that I have some, it should be a little easier to get words on paper.
2009 has been a journey of SELF for me. Being that I've always been the caretaker of others, I finally gave a little and started taking care of me. Though I began that part of my journey within the last 4 months of the year I figure it's better late than never! Getting out into nature has really helped my awareness as to what's around me. Hiking and exploring makes me more grounded and focused on just about everything and gives me a sense of purpose...Nature+hiking+exercise= Peace of mind/Healthy Mind.
Rapping it UP
I battled myself, my mind, depression, loneliness, sadness and dis pare.
I found success, joy, renewed relationships with family, made new friends and kept some old, the love of my life was born AND I conquered some personal demons.
All and all...it was a good year.
Sherman Oaks, CA
Feb 27, 2007