week two blues

Oct 19, 2010

 So it JUST hit me... I have an issue with food. You would think the fact that I have 200+ extra lbs on my body that i don't need would have tipped me off, but i digress. I was sitting here,  trying to fool myself that I would eat something I know I wasn't supposed to and had to go Thur the pain a third time to finally get it. I have an issue with food. 

I had always said I was fat only because I don't work out. Because i was so lazy. Because I'm single and don't like to cook for one. because I forget to eat and then when i do eat I eat the wrong things... these are all real reasons that lead to my weight gain. But really the issue I have is with food. I give into cravings, I make excuses, I hid my eating, I justify it, and it makes me sick that my brain wasn't changed in the surgery like my stomach was.

So I'm going to take this last episode and this "productive burp" as a serious sign that i need to GET MY HEAD in the game. I am addicted to carbs, i have allowed myself to rely on them to feel good. 

I wanted to blame my cravings on "the time of the month" it was always my weakest point. The cravings I get when Aunt Flo is in town are strong and they make me do things I know i shouldn't. This was my first test and i failed. But this tight feeling in my chest, trouble breathing and PB were enough to kick me in gear. I have lost 20lb since surgery I don't wanna mess that up!

SO I'm going to deal with these cramps with something other than food. I'm going to learn what satisfied feels like (verses stuffed). And I am going to lose this weight and get on with my new life.

I started off this week bad, I'm sabotaging myself!. I want this, I know I do. I make this pledge... I will follow the rules, I will do what I have to, to be the best me I can be!

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About Me
Dallas, TX
Location
49.4
BMI
VSG
Surgery
10/04/2010
Surgery Date
Sep 02, 2010
Member Since

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