Kellye G.
July 2000
Hello all. I am new to this site. Just happened to find it by surfing the web. A little about myself. I am 29 y.o., married, no children (we want them), drive a 18-wheeler as a team with my husband in the US, & have been overweight all of my life except for the time my mom made me go to the Diet Center (was that ever a TERRIBLE experience). I got down to 142 from 185 & gained it back & have been gaining ever since. I am 5'5", now around 330# (haven't weighed in while), BMI 54.9, and basically miserable. I have constant low back pain, am borderline hypertensive, have urinary stress incontinence, & experience dumping from time to time (ooh fun), etc, etc. I am ashamed of myself for getting to this point. I never thought I would weigh over 300 #. I even weigh more than my husband. Just imagine me trying to climb in & out of a big truck! LOL! It's hard most of the time. Hate looking in the mirror. Sometimes I "forget" how I look & then will see my reflection as I am passing a window or mirror or see my shadow on the ground & it floods back @ me VERY quickly. Have mood swings & tend to stay in a minor depressed state (was treated with Prozac a few years back). I am really thankful that I found this site. I have only just started considering WLS & would appreciate any insights, help, general info, encouragement...whatever you can provide. I am currently waiting on my insurance to begin (I switched companies in May, insurance starts in August).
July 11-17
Got off the road on the 10th (drv OTR w/hubby)& have been home for a week. Dread going back out again. Don't really like the job (would rather go back to nursing-am LPN, too). Anyway, started noticing edema in my feet that moved to my lower legs. Posted ? on Q&A board...thanks so many of you for your responses. Was unable to get to doc, however. Will just keep feet up & increase fluids. Keep me in your prayers! The biggest problem right now is the depression & mood swings. I can't seem to stop crying lately. I was SOOO glad to find this site because it just lets me know I'm not alone. Hoping to schedule appt to see doc about surgery the next time am in town. Unfortunately there is only one surgeon in my immediate area - Dr. Jones. Will check into seeing him first. If it doesn't work, will try some others close to me - Memphis or Little Rock. If anyone has any suggestions about surgeons in Memphis or Little Rock, please let me know. Will keep you all posted.
August 9, 2000
Got home a few days from the road. Turned in our truck and are going to buy our own. Anyhow, called the one & only surgeon in my area & you have to attend a seminar first before you can schedule an appointment (next on is in September). Also have to consider that my insurance if I go to a doc in AR, will only cover 50%. But if I go to a doc in TN (where my insurance is based) will then probably cover 80%. So my husband and I are trying to find out if BlueCross will cover more if we go to the doc in Memphis. Haven't heard anything yet. Am so anxious to get the ball rolling & see someone. I hate that I have to wait till September to see a doc in Jonesboro, but the 1 1/2 hr drive to Memphis isn't real appealing either. Ultimately it does not matter to me. Both docs have good reviews from other patients, so it just comes down to who I like better and of course, money.
August 15, 2000
Saw my family doc today to discuss WLS & wt loss in general. My blood pressure was high again: 154/110. Didn't do anything about it @ this time. He asked if I had ever taken Rx meds for WL (I haven't). He prescribed Xenical for me to try. Also had called surgeon couple days ago in Memphis, TN (can't see me til December). Receptionist suggested I lose 30-50# before surgery. My thought was (after hanging up) "how stupid! I can't lose weight by dieting, that's why I want surgery & she's telling me to diet!" Well, my family doc said if I still wanted to pursue WLS after giving the med a try, he would support it and refer me to doc here in my area. Family is very supportive! :) so glad of that!
August 29, 2000
Did some more research. Decided against keeping my company insurance because it was going to cost us more to keep it than to pay for our own insurance. We have to apply for it. However, now that we have done this, the insurance I hope to get has a 12-month waiting period for the WLS. We (husband and I) decided that we would save and do whatever it takes to pay for this ourselves so that I can have this surgery. It's not going to be easy, but we are determined to work something out. Still taking the Xenical - not having really bad effects yet, but the side effects are there. No weight loss. Just a lot of bathroom time. Since we decided to private pay for WLS, don't know if I will keep Dr. Baker as a surgeon or choose the one here in my town. It would save on the driving. Will keep you all posted. Keep me in your prayers!
September 24, 2000
I applied for health insurance - got turned down; I am too fat!! Like that's a big surprise!! Really ticks me off!!! Well, I went back to the doctor today after taking Xenical for about 3 weeks. I have gained 3 pounds!! My blood pressure was still high: 160/100. He FINALLY diagnosed me with hypertension. He gave me a BP med to take once a day. I am to go back to see him after I am close to running out of the samples he gave me. I also have to check my BP at least once a week while I am on the stuff. On the WLS...decided that I am going to private pay. My husband and I decided to save up for it and get the ball rolling in six months. It's a lot of money to save, but we know it's something we have to do. At least we are making good money right now. Haven't picked a surgeon. Since I am going to pay out of pocket, I have to make some phone calls & talk to them about the situation & see what they can do (if anything) for me at this time. At least I have 3 docs in mind, it's just a matter of doing some more homework & talking with office staff. Say a little prayer for me.
November 19, 2000
Well, it's been a while since I've added anything. Not much new to tell. I am still in the process of saving the money for the WLS. I chose Dr. Baker out of Little Rock. Even though I haven't met him, and won't until I have most of the money (what it is all about it seems), I've gotten really good "reviews" from other patients of his, especially from a woman who lives here in my town that raves about him. Thanks Diane for your help. Plus he has a website & email so I can contact them anytime. Still taking my Blood Pressure medicine - it's gradually coming down. Am having more and more aches and pains everyday and have to really manage my activity time to avoid overdoing it & having to lie down to recover. My back is my main pain spot - my doc prescribed a low dose of Naproxen to help with the pains -- doesn't do much good, but it works better than Tylenol! Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and enjoys the winter weather!
December 5, 2000
Well, I can't belive that Christmas is just around the corner. I was able to do 99% of all my shopping online-boy was that ever great! Especially since it's so hard on me to be on my feet for long periods of time. Plus, I don't really like to go out much; shame still has a strong-hold on my life. Going out of town for the holiday to spend Christmas with my family. Haven't decided if I will bring up my decision to have WLS or not. Don't really want to hear the negative remarks or try to be talked out of it. This was such a personal decision for me. I have the full support of my husband and my mom - that's enough for me. I am so thankful for them. My husband is a godsend! He's been 100% behind my choice & it makes it so much easier on me. Well, I hope everyone enjoys their holidays & the new year.
January 9, 2001
Happy New Year everyone. Hope you enjoyed your holidays. Mine were so-so. Christmas evening went belly up (no pun inteded) when I left my grandparents home after an aunt crossed the line running her mouth. Everyone is "concerned" about me - my weight scares them. They've never seen me so fat before. Each time they see me (which isn't very often since we are spread out) I am bigger than the last time. My grandfather doesn't know why I just can't do it with diet and exercise! Doesn't think WLS is a good idea. Thinks it's too drastic. When my husband & I made it home, I decided to write a letter to my grandfather & explain how life has been for me most of my life. That I didn't come to decide on WLS overnite, that I had been reading, researching & talking to other WLS patients for months now. I talked with him on the phone a few nights ago and he was glad I wrote. It said the letter helped explain things much better and that he was able to get more of an understanding of what my experiences of being overweight have been like. I was unsure about writing to him at first, but am thankful I did. If any of you are having the same problem, I encourage you to try this. Some times sitting down & talking doesn't work as well as written words. At least they can't argue & interrupt a piece of paper! On a different note...I am having more trouble than anticipated in saving for WLS. Am going to check into surgeons who accept payments, so far there are very few I've found. The closest one I've heard of is in New Orleans. OH! Almost forgot, am retiring from truck driving for a while. Am finally going to get to complete my RN degree! I'm so excited. I've been putting this off for a while & am finally getting the chance to do it.
January 17, 2001
Well, nothing has changed in the money department. The funds are just not available for me to choose this option now. I'm not completely giving up on it, but am having to place it on hold for a while. I did order an Orbitrek machine for me to use to get some exercise (I have been doing nothing). I hope that since it is virtually a no impact machine, it won't bother me as much to use it rather than pounding the pavement or concrete to walk. Plus I can do it in the comfort of my own home. I figure some exercise is better than none at all.
February 2, 2001
Things aren't going real well for me now. I've started to binge eat a lot lately. My husband is now driving as a trainer for students who want to be truck drivers, so he is gone 2-3 weeks at a time. It gets awfully lonely here and the food is "my friend" - well I'm sure many of you can relate to that! Food seems to be my drug of choice and I'm not having any luck breaking the cycle of this damned thing! I got the Orbitrek delivered (finally) only thing is, I don't even use it! It's collecting dust just like the work out tapes and other ex. machines that are in the garage. I was really motivated to use it but once it got here and after it was assembled, it's been in the same spot since it was ready to use! Some progress, huh? I'm so discouraged and angry now. I'm beginning to think I need to start taking Prozac again. It's bad enough my health is in shambles, now my peace of mind (not that I had much) is leaving me. I'm crying all the time, more moody, I get angry at everything, am becoming more isolated and the thought of going out of the house is an ordeal - I'd just rather stay in my bed! Ain't life grand?
July 2, 2001
Well, I know it's been a while since I've been on this site. I just didn't have anything new to say. I still don't have insurance and it's just not possible to come up with the thousands of dollars that's needed to have this surgery. The surgeons don't make it easy for us that must be self-pay. All the ones I've contacted want their money up front in cashier check form - well, where in the hell am I supposed to come up with 10-12 thousand dollars!?! Our credit sucks, so a loan is out of the question. I'm just stuck! And I hate it! I'm stuck in a body I hate and a world I'm ashamed to even go out into!
November 2, 2001
Almost 6 months since my last entry - and to be quite honest, nothing has changed. I'm in the process of changing jobs and we'll have insurance on December 1st. I don't know if our new health insurance will cover WLS - if it does, there will probably be a year long wait period before I can take advantage of the coverage. I guess if I've waited this long, I can wait one more year. I called my PCP about taking Meridia, but he doesn't prescribe it due to the side effects. He offered to let me try Xenical again (YUCK) and I declined. There's just something disturbing about being 30 years old and not being able to control yourself and feel like you need to wear diapers! It was not a pleasant experience the first time around so I sure don't want to put myself through it again! Well, that's about it on the "news". When I get my insurance info, I'll update my profile.
July 30, 2002
Never got insurance, therefore the surgery is not an option. Can't get the funds from my own pocket because the cost is just too much. I've resigned myself to losing weight the old fashioned way and just changing my eating habits and exercising. So far I've lost 12 pounds and counting. Don't have much outside support so I've found an online buddy to help me stick with it and keep me "honest". I haven't eliminated anything from my diet, but I'm just decreasing the amount that I eat. I'm exercising 20 minutes 6 days a week and plan to work up to 30 minutes a day. The hardest part is going to be staying motivated to lose 200 pounds! When I started this a couple of weeks ago, I weighed 355 pounds. So I am making progress. I'd love for it all to come off tomorrow, but I know that won't happen - unfortunately. I figure if I can just use some common sense about eating and exercising and stick with it, I'll eventually hit my goal of 145. I don't have any dreams of being a runway model or anything, I just want to be healthy. And 145 will be a great stable weight for me and my body type. Good luck to all of you getting the surgery and to those who are post op. I wish you all the best and I'll keep you posted on my progress.
October 18, 2004 -- LAST AND FINAL POST
Well, I am saying goodbye to WLS forever as this will be my final post. I've been struggling with my weight for most of my life and I feel it will be a fight that I will always have to battle in some way. I am finally eating better and exercising regularly. I'm losing weight gradually and though it will take time to lose all the weight I want to lose, slow and steady does win the race. My heartfelt thanks and gratitude to all of those who have emailed me for support and given me suggestions on how to overcome the non-insurance issue. I guess WLS just wasn't going to be an option for me. To all of you who are considering the surgery, are getting it or who are through it already - my best wishes and congrats. I hope you achieve what you want from it and life a long healthy lean life! All my best and God bless!
Kellye
