T-7 Days

Jul 15, 2012

Well, we are back from our vacation in Maine.  Overall, it went well.  The family and our guests all had grilled meats (which my husband cooked) and various sides.  I had my shakes.  I took many recipes with me and had a variety of flavors to experiment with.  By the end of the week I was wishing I had a cheeseburger flavored shake (cheeseburgers aren't even my favorite food).  What I learned the most from this week is the food/person relationship.  One of the things we never talked about in our behavior classes was food as an addiction.  I am feeling this very badly now.  I feel like a herion addict, only it's food (or what I imagine that to be).  

Most people are supportive.  I thought my husband was coming around to being on my side. Sadly, I believe I am wrong.  For example, when I would get up to make one of my shakes his comments were "Well you signed up for it."  It was uncalled for hostility.  My sister and brother in law came up to visit on vacation.  I told my husband that my sister was going to be at the hospital on Monday (the 23rd)  for the day of the surgery.  That is when she told me that both she and her husband were going to be there all day.  My husband was a bit surprised.  My sister knows he has not been the most supportive. So I am glad they will both be there. 

On the way home from vacation we have a tradition of stopping for lunch at a particular restaurant, one of my favorites.  My husband asked if we were going to meet him and the kids there (we take 2 cars due to people and stuff)..I said we would pass.  Then we get home, another tradition is to go to my favorite italian restaurant once we are done unpacking..so he asked if it would be ok to go.  I told him..you go, I am going to they gym.  These two actions are ok and I handled them well.  Don't ask me to sit in my favorite restaurant and not be able to eat. Tonight was a totally different thing..we spent the day out at an event..I brought my 2 pre-made shakes..they had a bbq..I was ok with that.  We get home and my husband asks what I am going to make for dinner.  I said I would find something to fix..then he asked the kids what they wanted.  My daughter (11yrs old) says chinese.  Do they go out to eat it?  Nope..they order take out and bring it in to the house.  I went upstairs and watched tv.  I thought I handled it well..they should be able to eat what they want.  Apparently, my husband was upset that I did not join them for dinner.  I did very nicely tell him that I am not going to sit at the table and smell the chinese food while drinking a shake.  If he continued to insist on ordering things like that, I will be eating separately..so I handled it the best way I could.

Here's why I am upset:  I was obsessing over what was downstairs.  I couldn't concentrate on the television or the book I am reading.  I was plotting ways to sneak a chicken finger from the left overs when everyone goes to sleep. I was ridiculous.  I was mad..mostly at myself.  What would happen if I had one little chicken finger, one little spoonful of pork fried rice?  I have decided that I hate unstructured weekends. Good news, not that much in the way of leftovers and hubby is taking it for lunch tomorrow..it's in separate containers and he will be able to tell if I so much take a small finger..yup I even had my fingers on them.

Update on that Elusive 1 Pound:  Before vacation I went to WW for my weigh in..I had been on the liquid diet for a few days..lost 2.2 lbs..so ha to the elusive pound..now I can say I lost more than 30 lbs.  After vacation week, again went to WW for my weekly weigh in..lost 6.2 lbs and am less than 2 lbs from hitting the 40 lb mark.

On vacation we kayaked (for 3 hours), hiked (twice), I walked the mud flats a whole bunch of times with my MP3 player.  All that was awesome!  So overall a good week.  This last one is going to be tough..but I will be getting together with a few women from our behavioral management class..one woman had the surgery a little over a week ago, I have mine next week, and the other woman hasn't been scheduled yet.  I will also be popping in to work this week and haven't seen these people since the 3rd week in June (remember I am a teacher).  So I think that will be a good support for the week!

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