Yay, woo hoo, but also YIKES!!

Feb 05, 2011

Ok...it's been awhile.  I quit smoking in October...YAY for me!  It's been over 3 months without a cigarette. A LOT easier than I thought it would be.  I've completed all my pre-op requirements, including a PET scan of my heart, which sucked, btw. Everything came back normal and I got a call yesterday to schedule my surgery!  How awesome, but, EEK!  I can't help feeling like I'm in total panic mode now!  This is the time when everyone is usually celebrating!

The nurse tells me I could have surgery as early as the 14th and pretty much any day after that.  I said, FEBRUARY 14th?? Yeah, that's not what I want...to spend my Valentine's day or my birthday (the 21st...another date she mentioned) in surgery. I mean, I guess I should say that it could be looked at as a "rebirth"...but, I need like a month at least.  Crazy that I say that now since I was complaining non-stop up until now that things were taking too long.  Will I ever feel like I'm REALLY READY?

I'm scared to death of dying or leaking and becoming septic when back home and my surgeon is 3 hours away and the hospital here is clueless and I mean clueless. They call it "Last View" hospital instead of Grandview. LOL

I have been almost in denial...or doing the opposite of what I'm supposed to right now. I feel like I've been OVEReating...baking, making homemade pasta, etc, because I know that I won't be able to do it after surgery. I haven't even exercised or lost ANY weight. I don't have vitamins or supplements yet because I've been waiting to get our tax refund back so I can buy in bulk, though I have some to try from Celebrate. Also, haven't found a decent shake yet. Tried the one from Walmart, Body Fortress, and I thought, there is NO way I can drink that 3 times a day. I figured it would taste like Slimfast or similar, which I never had a problem with. So I need to find something that tastes better. I have heard good things about Unjury.

I don't know if I'm just making excuses because I'm scared stiff.  I know I'm not prepared and that is why Feb. 14th is crazy, especially because my fiance's spring break from college isn't until March and my mom could come out then too for a couple weeks (they live 5 hours away).  I need him there with me for surgery and he has school and work everyday but on weekends.  My mom will watch the kids during my hospital stay and help after surgery. But she's only going to be able to stay like 2 1/2 weeks at the most. That scares me too because I have 3 boys that are in need of constant attention, including a 28 lb. 1 1/2 year old who needs to be taken out of and put in his crib and his highchair. Also, my laundry room is downstairs in the basement and that scares me too.  How am I going to keep up with that if I can't carry laundry baskets? There are 5 people in my house that I am responsible for.  If my fiance can't find the time with school and work to help now, how will he be able to do it during surgery and after? Ugh.


I'm just venting I guess. I always have to do this to feel a little better, which I already do. I should blog more! LOL  I'm so excited too! Scared I guess is the main thing. I told her I would call her back to schedule when I know what week is good for all of us. I'm thinking it's going to be around March 14th. A little over a month should help me get prepared. Right? lol


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About Me
Ironwood, MI
Location
30.2
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/14/2011
Surgery Date
Mar 20, 2010
Member Since

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