7 weeks

Jul 11, 2010

I had surgery 7 weeks ago last Thursday. I thought I would post up for the folks getting ready to start the journey, to give you a real taste of what is coming.
The vast majority of the time, I am so glad I had this surgery. even on the days that I am sad or confused or whatever, there are great moments of "WOW" to go with the bad. Would I have it again? Most likely. But there are things I wasnt prepared for, really.  Like HOW limited your choices are for awhile. How food really loses its appeal and things taste different. How hard it is to find anything good to eat at any little convenience store or even some restaurants. Now, things are getting better all the time, but it is still a struggle to find FAST type foods on the run. I have managed to get past the worst of eating in restaurants, finally, I am learning what works for me. I have discovered that even one bite of something like...ohhh, say, a homemade french fry...can make you wish you were dead, lol. The pain is a reminder to NOT do it. I discovered that even "weightloss" foods can have higher sugars than you think and even if you think you KNOW...read the label. I have learned that my family will want to protect me, and will remind me to "be careful" and that instead of being grateful, sometimes I am just annoyed. And thats ok, too.
I have learned that i still LOVe to cook a great meal for my family, and also that I can sneak healthier foods into them if I try. I have learned eating healthy can be expensive, but that eventually, you get the extra things laid in..like SF ketchup and jelly. That I CAN eat bread, sometimes. and others not. Toasted works well, if I really want bread. But most of the time...gasp...I dont. I have learned that it can hurt and be very uncomfortable to eat things that dont agree with me, and that my stomach sings a new song these days, and reacts as though every bite is being dropped into a vat of bubbles...grumble bubble bubble. I have learned that I LOVE...really and truly...working out. That my ipod and I can have a really good time, and that sweat is a measure of devotion. I LOVe the gym...where the heck did THAT come from? 
I have learned that diet soda..even just a taste...isnt good for me or comfortable...anymore. It is useless and I dont need it, plus...it adds to the bubbles and Im good, thanks. I have learned i really LIKE powerade zero, in grape. Im a one taste girl, who is learning to branch out.
I have learned that eggs are not my friend...then they are...then they arent. trial and error. I have learned that I can enjoy an ice cold water while my family has a dairy queen treat...and relish my ass fitting in the chair without touching...crazy. I have learned that my closest friends are handing me down things they have outgrown, and though they are happy for me, I want to teach myself to shut up and stop talking about "my surgery" because I can see the sadness in their eyes...I am smaller than them for the first time ever. I have learned how fun it is to show my shirt label to a friend and know it is three sizes smaller than it was 7 weeks ago. Jeans are 3 sizes smaller. Bras are, too.
I have learned that even though my man has always told me I am beautiful, that his hand has been finding the curve of my waistline more often at night, and he is feeling hip bones and ribs that have been hidden for years. I have also discovered that chairs feel REALLY strange with less butt padding...weird. I have learned that if you are going to vomit after eating, you have time to get to the bathroom, because your stomach sort of progresses through..."oops...bubble bubble...I feel ill...I may need to get to the bathroom...hmmm, am I gonna puke?....oh, wow, that doesnt really hurt. Oh, that actually feels better. Im good" BUT...if you are gonna have the runs, you better MOVE it, baby. ;)
I have learned that I can have a certain amt of sugar grams, but if I get close to too many, my body knows it fairly quickly. Fat is another story. My body doesnt LIKE fat, and responds quickly. French fries...yeah. Not so much.
I have learned that it can be boring, at first, to eat the same foods all the time. And that it takes bravery to branch out. But that with time and practice, you can learn to eat again. But you get full FAST. I have learned to ask for a "diabetic menu" so as not to have to explain everytime. I have learned that I like my shrinking size better than anything I ever put on my plate. and that even though it sucks sometimes, I would rather see the scale going down then the food going down. I have learned *I* am still in here, somewhere, and I am itching to get out. Im still fun, Im still adventurous, and I am regaining confidence. I have learned that people are genuinely happy for me...especially the ladies at Fashion Bug...who see me coming and smile. I have learned to counter the folks who say this was the easy way out with "how many times have YOU been to the gym this week?" I have learned that I can handle this, but that it is NOT easy, and likely never will be. But I am happy that I did it. and I hope my message will help you in your journey, too.

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