Joy B.

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For the first time I cried because I was fat.

We were in the store and I am an extreme couponer. And I had taken my children with me along with my mother. While I was at the register I do not like to be interrupted. My mother called my youngest daughter to stand near her. Well she had to walk past me but I was in the way and she said "I cant cause my mommy too fat"

I know children usually speak the truth. I didnt know what to say and neither did my mother. She is obese as well.

That was just the moment when I thought, yea I gotta do better.

I am almost in tears now just thinking about it. When I looked in the mirror at work I just felt UGLY

 Ok, so i am done with all the testin and the other reuirements needed.

But, my doc has yet to send over my letter off necessity. 
I think I am going to send him an example (or I may type one myself) so he will know what to write.

I plan on doing this today and sitting in his office all afternoon so we can go over it.
 I want his sent in by Monday.

 Don get me wrong I wanna be healthy so bad. But I am not looking foward to being skinny or even very small. I feel this wa because I dont want to lose the great person that I am. I dont want to walk around like I am BETTER than anybody who is bigger than me. I have so many insucurties about myself its not even funny.

My husband loves me to death but I do think he would prefer a smaller woman (WITH BIG BOOBS) Even though he has never said anything about it. I think its just me not wanting to change but wanting to change at the same time. 

I think I am making excuses for reasons not to have it. I am 29 years old 264 pounds bad leg-knee and back. Blood pressure is under control. But I have problems breathing after going up 10-15 stairs. 

I am too young for this.

After typing out my emotions, I feel like this is the right thing to do. I guess I just had to get my feelings out.

So my pap was never sent and I had to get another one done.

But I had it last Thursday, so now I am just waiting for my information to be sent.

 Well I have been gone for a while. 

I have some setbacks that have taken a toll on me.

Well last year Iost my house, car, dog and MIND.

My family of 5 had to move into my mothers basement, moving from a townhouse to a little room was stressful. 

While there I feel and was in a car accident. I had been having back problems since then, come to find out I have a herniated disc. I am only 29 and this is crazy.

Then my husband had a break-down and tried to commit suicide because he could no longer provide for us......that drove me crazy.
But then he got himself together and got a job in PHILADELPHIA. I live in DC. 

So now I am finally getting back on track with my life as a part-time single mother which is not fun.

Ok so my date got pushed back. I dont know when it will be.

My Pap has not been sent over so I have to go and find numbers and request information be sent back over.

 I have not been here in over a month.

I am still waiting on all my things to be sent to the surgeon.

I just did my sleep study and had a ball. The man there was really nice and laughed at all my jokes.

I am waiting on my Primary Care Physcian to send over his letter for me and my husband. I think he has changed his mind. I am thinking of finding a new PCP because my is so old school and think diet and exercise can work for anyone.


I am 29 and I walk with a cane.....OMG that is a shame. My BP has been high my last couple of visits 151/101. 
I think I am geting worse instead of getting better. I am on so many meds for pain in my knees and back. 

I am to young for this.

Ok so at my September appt for my NUT I had lost 6 pounds. I was so excited.

I go back in today for my final 6th month NUT appt and she is going to reveal to us over the 6 month period how much we have lost and gained.

I am now looking for a place to get my Psyc eval done. I cannot find a place that my insurance will cover. So that is more cash i have to put out.

But I am super STOKED 

Snce I was here last, so much has taken place.

I have been going to all my appts and taking my vitamins and walking.

We seen the nutritionist and we each lost 4 pounds by just walking more. 
                                            (Because I could no longer aafford my car because of a ticket i never got and no we are bussing it.)

My husbands great-grandmother died, my husband lost his income, had a ticket ii forgot to pay so my license was suspended as well as my car registration. I also have to move ot of our house and move into my mothers with my husband and 3 kids)

But despite all of this I am still happy and look at it as a blessing.

I am just getting back to work because school was out because of the EARTHQUAKE  and HURRICANE IRENE. So I worked 2 days last week and then today.

 Ok so I have been gone for a month and feel so bad.

In the past month we have seen our NUT twice and have had our EGD done and have seen the Cardio Guy.

Well the NUT is so nice and she takes her time and answers our siily questions. 

The EGD not so much. Mine was good. But my husband has a throat ulcer and also a stomoach ulcer. With the ulcer medication we went to CVS and found out our INS did not want to cover it. So we were going to pay cash but the bill was $1073.99 so now I am sitting in the emergency room with the big baby (husband) of mine.


I am moving on a great path towards success. 

Starting on Monday our family has promised the NUT that we would go walking 30 minutes a day four days a week.