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So it's been almost 4 mos next week. I'm down about 60#, last Friday weighed in at 180.2# (from 246#). I'm wearing size Medium scrubs! and some size 14's and size M to L tops depending on cut. I've even got a size 12 skirt that fits! Woo Hoo, never thought I'd see the day! It's kinda weird and liberating to get rid of my larger sized clothes, but grateful for the opportunity to do so. Ulcer is healed thank goodness. Unfortunately I've had another kidney stone and have a small collection in each kidney...damn! Doing much better since the ulcer is healed with eating and drinking. Mostly eating soup and salads. I find that if I eat more than a few bites of "white" carbs I feel a little loopy, lightheaded. No dumping, but I haven't pushed it either. As far as the rest of my life, my son is still with me and I have temporary physical custody. I have a new job at the DMC. So getting adjusted and things are moving along. Need to find a new doctor in the metro Detroit area. With new insurance not sure how everything will pan out, but I'm sure things will get straightened around. Tomorrow starts the doctor hunt so I can get in and get some labs done. Thanks to everyone who is reading and wishing me well on my new journey. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

So I'm officially a RNY statistic, now in the early stages of an ugly divorce. I still have a gastric ulcer which now seems to be healing some. I had my 3rd kidney stone (1st since surgery) last Sunday after working too hard at my house which has to be sold. My finances are in ruin thanks to my husband. At least my son is with me, which is lucky since I was assulted to keep him in my custody. Can't say I've lost any weight as I think I'm holding at 196# or so, but my body is changing. I had to buy a new swimsuit, it's a size 14! and it's a little big but the 12's were a little to snug. I'm generally wearing a size 16 shorts and large tops which are a little big. But right now that's what I've got and know where it is, so that's what I'm wearing. (I started at a size 20/22.) I'm doing my best to look forward to my new life with my son as best I can and move forward. Please pray for me.

Had an upper GI last Monday. Dr. Y said there's no stricture, although there was some reflux during the test...duh, if it won't go out it's gonna go up! So he's decided my eating and drinking (fluids) problem is from an ulcer. On Prevacid 30mg solutabs QD. He said I should start feeling better in a few weeks...not sure I'll last that long. I'm averaging about 30-40g protein on a good day, next to nil on a bad day. Everything but watermelon, cantalope and strawberries hurt in my pouch. I'm only getting in maybe 40-50 fl oz of fluids, mostly popsicles and propel. I'm trying like hell to get everything in, but it's just not working. And if one more person tells me "well, you just have to get it in" I'm likely to beat them about the head and shoulders! Like I'm trying to not get in my protein and fluids? A@#holes! I like what little hair I've got and not really fond of kidney stones. So in a nutshell, my post WLS life sucks, but I'm praying it gets better soon. I'm possibly going to become another WLS statistic in regards to divorce as well so life really sucks from every angle right now. Just wanting to cry buckets, but don't want to lose any more valuable fluids...

So I've made it thus far. I found out that at least one person is reading this, so Thanks my fellow Detroit veggie-ista! Still struggling to find a protein that works for me. I've found that all the whey proteins cause nausea so that's been really frustrating! While at my parents' this weekend, they had a PhysioSoy Vanilla protein powder that I tried. So far so good, no nausea so that's a huge improvement. But of course the site my dad got it from online is currently under construction GRRRR! I've found it elsewhere but for almost $10 more per can. Alas the story of my life. At least maybe a straight soy powder will work until I can get this one? At least now I feel like I have a glimmer of hope of getting in all my 70 g of protein. I'm getting tried of everyone telling me I need to get my protein intake up...duh, what do you think I'm doing?! No really, I'd love to lose my hair and muscle mass. Please, sign me up for that...I digress and am moving on now. My MIL stayed for my 3 weeks off. It was nice to have another person there to help with my son, but I'm glad it's over. It'll be good to get back to a more normal routine. No pain since the JP was removed. Nausea is all but gone except when I eat. It feels like things are getting stuck more, and more so in the early part of the day. By night time things seem to go better. But then I'm afraid of the old pattern of eating mostly at night which helped get me MO in the first place. So far in this journey I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I know what to do, what I need to do, what I want to do, but I'm so limited yet I can't accomplish them and then I get frustrated. I'm really suprised at how annoyed I'm getting about not being able to drink like a normal person. I'm thirsty, but still have to take really small sips which takes FOREVER to get in the 64oz. I'm told it'll get better day by day, so I'm trying to hang onto that and just keep plodding along until then. I only lost 0.1# (yes that's correct, 0.1) last week. Of course I know I'm not eating enough to gain, and that it's water retention and probably that my intake is so small that I'm hanging on to everything...but still annoyed to see the barely there weight loss this early out. I'm keeping it under control for now, but if this trend continues I'm going to lose it. It's that old fear that no matter what I do, I can't lose weight and I'll be this big forever. Also frustrating, I have some size 18 pants that fit me when I was a little bigger than I am now last year, but they're still too tight right now. Not helping matters to say the least. I'm hoping that all this effort isn't wasted and I'll be doing better in the next few weeks. So all in all, I'm frustrated but still attempting to move forward as best I can.

Today was my first full day at home. Went fairly well. I eventually got all my protein in, but not all my fluids. I need to figure that out quickly as I do not want a kidney stone! My surgery went very well, took about 3.5 hrs total including the endometriosis and scar tissue removal. There was only 2 spots of endo and 1 spot of scar tissue, so a HUGE improvement over the last endo surgery. My RNY went like textbook so I'm told. I still have a JP drain, which is the only site causing me much pain. That's due out next Tues, so I'll be glad to be rid of it. But I know it being in is helping me heal and not get a seroma or anything worse. I'm all bruised up from my multiple IV sticks, so I'm really lookin' cute these days. I got to take my first shower today and it was HEAVEN! I looked so grubby it was disgusting. I'm glad that my protein that I have is working for me postop. I definately do not like the Isopure Melon flavor. WAY YUCKY!!!! and the one sip and your mouth is totally devoid of any moisture is not a pleasant feature either. So that's my basic surgery story. I think maybe my face is a little slimmer and possibly my upper arms, but I've still got "that swing" if you know what I mean. Total lost preop was 17.5# with the Optifast. Glad that's over, but also glad it did some good weight loss wise also. Until next time...

So Monday is coming very quickly now. Seems like yesterday I was complaining that things were moving too slowly and now it seems like it was over in a flash. Weird emotions, worried, nervous, somewhat excited but not really. Having some doubts, but realize they are just fear and fear comes from the enemy. I'm trusting myself that I've chosen a wise path and I'm going to follow it whatever may come my way. My surgery ended up being spread around the gossip mill at work, but oddly only those with support came forward and said anything. So that's been good. My preop Optifast diet, all 3 + weeks of it are coming to a close...YEAH! I'm really sick of their shakes, but didn't like them to begin with so that's not a suprise. Good tip: Da Vinci SF syrups from Walmart and other places = life saver!! Highly recommended. And the tomato Optifast soup was a daily treat, a nice change from the sweetness of the shakes. By the end I preferred the chocolate shake to any other, which is strange as I'm not a chocaholic? And mixing them with warm water was helpful too for whatever reason. My last preop class is over. The most useful were the RN schpell (not much I didn't know, but reinforcement) and the RD presentation about the different proteins and the 1st 2 weeks diet plan. So I'm as prepared as I am going to be. Just going to try and get through this weekend and on to Monday morning, 7:30a.

http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wIlNcc6/

So i's officially June 4th, just one day before my 8th anniversary! I'm a little disappointed about not getting a May date, but I'm glad that I can kill two birds with one stone...lap RNY and lesis of adhesions, ablation of any endometriosis that's there. And it's definately there, so I'm glad to have 2 experienced surgeons, Dr. Yenumula and Dr. Griffin. Thank the Lord for this blessing!

I got the call from Nancy at SPHN that I am officially approved for RNY! Woo Hoo! I'm actually getting excited now, but still nervous, then excited...so weird. I have my vitamins, some liquid vitamins, liquid protein and powder. Crazy, it's just like nesting! I start my 4 week classes next Thursday and I assume my Optifast diet starts the same day. I can't hardly believe that this will be my last FAT winter! Hee hee hee. It'll be quite a trip to compare pictures from today to 4/12/08! It's going to be a wild ride, but I'm ready to hang on for dear life!! I can't wait to be a better wife and mother with the weight gone. I'm sure I'll feel so much better physically, more energy and feel better about myself. I wonder what that feels like really. It should be interesting.

I called SPHN yesterday only to find out that they are asking for more info. The irritating part is they are asking for my WW info, which I gave to SWMC. So not sure if it wasn't submitted or SPHN lost it. The even more irritating thing was that SPHN wouldn't accept the fax'd info from me, or I could've fax'd it in yesterday. They said it had to come from SWMC. Of course by the time I know anything, SWMC is closed for the weekend. So left Kathy H a msg to make sure she has the WW info and can fax it early am Monday. I just want to know my date so I can get my current, supportive boss to sign off on my FLMA leave before she leaves for her new job! Maybe I'll just make up a guessitmated date range and get her sign off. Then if the actual surgery is later, it'll just need to be switched on the paperwork. Well, hopefully I can at least get my date within the next 3 weeks before she leaves. And the longer this drags out the less chance I have for a May surgery date, which is really what I was hoping for. I'll just try to remember that all things happen for a reason and God has a perfect plan for me...