Troy A.
on March 25, 2007 9:19 am
Published
Well, here is my story.
My name is Troy and I am 40 years old, 5'10" 325 pounds with a beautiful tiny wife and three wonderful boys. Like many people here I have had issues with my wieght off and on since I was eleven years old. I will always remember that because that is when my mom remarried and said I had to come and live with my new family in Houston. Now I come from a family of pretty heavy people, but I think the time I spent with my dad set me up for even bigger problems. For the two years I lived with him, by choice, I basically took care of myself. As an adult looking back on it, I just can not believe what I was doing as a nine and ten year old, I had no supervision at all. My father worked nights, lots of overtime, and of course dated on the days he had off. This left me to mostly fend for myself. I cooked or made almost every meal I ate at home, or skipped eating altogether, there weren't any fast food places close by, so that was out of the question. I dont remember ever going hungry or anything, there was always something I could make for myself. A sandwich, or macaroni and hamburger or sweet sue canned chicken and dumplings. It's just that you dont put a 9 or 10 year old boy in charge of his own meal choices.
Cut to me moving to live with my mom. What a change. Every night we had a real supper, main course and sides and it was all delicious and I could eat all I wanted! Well, believe me I ate, I ate so much that for the first two weeks I got sick to my stomach everynight after dinner. I will never forget hearing my stepdad, in the kitchen talking to my mom. He was almost yelling, "Did the SOB never feed the kid!" He was so angry with my father over that, and other neglects that I think he took it on himself to right some of the wrongs. Over the next few years he treated me not as a stepson, but as the son he never had. He taught me me to hunt, fish, golf and basically how to be the man I am today. He was the dad that every young kid should have in his life and I loved him with all my heart. He passed away from a massive heart attack at age 56 when I was 25 years old. He wasnt overwieght, but he refused to do what the doctors wanted to keep his blood pressure and cholesterol in check. I dont want to follow the path he took.
I gained alot of weight when I first went to live in Houston, but I was young and by the time I turned 15 I slimmed down again, though I still felt like I was fat. Funny because now, at 325 I really dont feel like I am as heavy as I am. It isnt until I see a picture that I say "That cant be me, I dont feel that big." at 20 years old I was 200lbs, by 21 I was 160lbs, mostly by starving myself, and that is when I met my wife and we started dating. I went up and down a bit but on my wedding day when I was 25, I weighed in at 180ish. I year later I was at 230. Man I couldnt believe I got that heavy. (Funny I would kill to be 230 today) I tried dieting some but no luck. By the time I was 28 I was up to 270. That is when I heard about the diet made for me. I started Atkins and lost back down to 233lbs in just about four months. Of course I couldnt keep it off, and I can barely look at an egg today because of it, but it was the one diet the worked for me. Well I gained right on up to 300lbs about a year after that and I have been in the 290 to 330 range ever since. I have not been below 300 in more than 5 years.
I cannot count the number of people that say I remind them of Kevin James and the King of Queens. I am a big guy, with a good sense of humor and my wife is drop dead gorgeous. "How in the world did you get her to married you?" is something I have been asked time and time again. I just say, hey, I was a pretty handsome thin guy once upon a time and chicks dig funny guys. =) I know I married way out of my league to begin with, but I would like to get back to the point where it doesnt seem impossible that she would have married me, and I want to life a long long life with her.
Speaking of my wife (I dont think I mentioned we have been married 15 years) shehas been the tough one to get onboard with WLS. It is just hard for her to understand why I would want to put my life at risk, rather than just stop eatting so much and lose the weight. Of course she has never drank a diet soft drink in her life. She is blessed with a great metabolism, a desire to eat only when she is hungry, and the discipline not to eat things that she shouldnt when she is pregnant. Honestly, I do feel like a failure when I think about WLS. I have always prided myself in my individuality. Peer pressure had little effect on me. I never drank or smoked, I have never even tried an illegal drug. I actually like being active. Heck I work out/ do cardio three days a week now, which I know is better than nothing. But this one thing, this addiction to food has defeated me time and time again. I know I could buckle down and probably drop 50 or 60 pounds, but I also know I would not be able to keep it off and when I gained it back it would bring 20 or 30 of its lb friends.
Thankfully, after attending the WLS seminar with me, she has a little better understanding of what I am going through and how difficult it is for someone that becomes Morbidly Obese to ever successfully take the weight off without WLS. She is just worried. She doesnt want to lose me, or the boys to lose me, doing something risky. I wish I could explain it to her, but I cannot explain it to myself so what hope is there of that?
So far I have been one of the lucky big guys. I dont have sleep apnea though I do snore like a bear, high cholesterol, though my ratios could be a little better, I have textbook blood pressure, I dont have diabeties, I am really a healthy guy other than pain that is slowly creeping up on my knees and feet and lower back. I feel like if I do this now, if I take this step, to change my life and lose the weight, then there is not reason I should not be able to live a long healthy life. But if I put it off, and I fail again at dietiing, I am looking at some very serious problems in my future.
So what am I thinking at this point at the begining of the journey to a more healthy me? I am afraid of giving up food. I love to eat, I love it, and the thought that I have to say farewell to overeating all the foods I love scares me. I mean I am not the healthiest eater when I do eat. I gag on most green vegetables. I am an adult, I know it sounds childish, but I cannot power through a piece of brocolli to save my life. I do love fruit, but I am allergic to many types. Watermelon will all but close my throat. Alvacodo, raw tomatoe, oranges, and banana will start my mouth to itching or blister my lips. It is crazy. I eat lots of meat, pasta and bread as a result.
I know I have to have WLS. I accept that the old way of eatting will have to die and a new way will have to be born. However decideing which to have is proving to be a very very difficult decision. So far my thought process has gone something like this.
Lap-Band - Safer, less chance of malabsoption, if a meteor were to hit and vitimans could not be found, Lap Banders will live on.
Gastric Bypass- Higher risk of complication, worried about malabsorption, the thought of taking vitimans or drinking a protein drink for the rest of my life isnt exactly exciting, and of course if meteor hits, Gatric Bypassers are screwed.
Lap-Band - I could cheat it. If I could cheat it, I am afraid I would cheat it. Stuff getting hung up on the band all time.
Gastric Bypass - Dumping for cheaters, this would be good for me. Better results, faster. No forgien object in my body when done.
Right now I would chose GB if I wasnt so worried about my guts getting moved around. I would have to say I am at 50/50 at this point. It will be interesting to look back on this one day when I am at my goal weight and see what I was thinking.
I guess there is one last thing I need to add here. I am a Christian and my faith has gotten me through many tough times. My oldest son has a severe type of CP and requires all the care you give an infant. I have faith that god has put this forum, you people, and a host of other things that have brought me to this point so that I will be more healthy, and I will be able to not only take care of my oldest son for many years ahead but also so that I will see my younger ones, graduate, get married settle down and have me some grandkids one day. The future is bright now friends.
More to come in the future.
