MovingOn09

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To the masters of the universe, please send positive energy my way so that I can get this surgery done.  I ask that no more health issues arise that will delay this surgery further.  Please let my blood work results tomorrow be a sign of what is to come.

Thanks
Me

I think my subconcience is working at helping me lose pre-op weight.  Everything I eat tastes like crap. Last night it was chicken....it did not appeal to me.  Two nights ago it was my favorite...broiled sirloin tip steak.  That too tasted  off.  As did the tuna I had a few days ago.  It just tasted really fishy and I could not stomach it.  It has to be me as I bought these items at different stores so  I cannot blame them.  Perhaps my subconcious is lending a hand.  If it does not taste good I'm not going to eat it and if everythiing tastes bad to me.. well that is fine. I welcome it.  Its nice to eat because I need nutrition rather than eating because something tastes good or I'm bored or something of that nature.

Been practicing sipping.  I have also been taking my time with meals.  I am on the pre-op diet so I don't have much solids in my diet. However, I am savoring the meal replacement drinks by drinking as slow as possible. 

I will get through this.

Its worth it.

It hurts when I walk, my  knees feel as though they are going to blow out.  
I take a few paces and I cannot breath. I am so out of breath that it feels as though I will pass out from lack of oxygen.
I'm not much fun with all the physical limitations that I have.  Therefor, I am home and lonely while my  friends are out in the world enjoying whatever it is they are doing,.
I am watching life  pass me by.  I ache to jump on the train and partciipate in living.
Right now and for a very long time, I merely  exist.
My clothes don't fit right and they are so uncomfortable.
My feet are so swollen i cannot wear my usual shoes anymore.  I have to wear big, ugly velcro mens sneakers that  are 3 sizes too big.
I am so unhappy   being this way.  

This surgery is going to be a life saving tool for me and I intend on taking full advantage of  this tool .  I will never feel this miserable again due to weight.

Just a promise to myself.


I am worth the effort and it has been a long, hard road to tread, I am willing to tread it longer if it means that I will someday  be free.

1.  Sitting Indian Style
2. Tying shoes without struggle
3. Walking 5 feet without getting winded
4. Wearing a pair of Levi Jeans
5. Being in a car and the seatbelt fit
6. Being able to shop like a normal person not with that electronic riding cart
7. Sitting in public seating comfortably...(plane,bus, train, movie theater)
8.Doing the simplist of things in life without it feeling like a huge mountain climb.


These are the reasons I think of when I ask myself if I really want this surgery.  After reading these things, the answer is always YES. For all these things I cannot do anymore, i know when I am able to do them again, I will never take them for granted again. They say everything happens for a reason.  Perhaps I am morbidly obese to learn that life is precious and that I need to slow down and see the things I might otherwise overlook.  Stopping to smell the roses.  Lesson Learned now lets get  my health back so I can LIVE and enjoy the simple things life has to offer.

Hello Everyone,

I have just joined OH a couple of days ago and it is going to take me a little bit to adjust to the set up here.  For those who put in friend's requests, I finally figured out how to add you lol. One mission accomplished!  Anywho, I am glad to be here and look forward to meeting new people and learning through sharing.  My RNY surgery was just scheduled last week.  If all goes well, I will be having my surgery on March 23rd at 10:00 a.m.  Let me tell you, I thought I would be ecstatic to get a surgery date finally.  I've been working towards this goal for three long years and now I am finally scheduled.  Guess what?  I'm not ecstatic.  More like petrified.  I know I am doing this to save my life but it does not make it any less frightening. 

I'm just going to approach it one step at a time.  I cannot dwell on the what ifs. I deserve this.  It has been a long time coming and I have worked really hard to get to this point.  Hard work for something this important is not that hard now that I look at it.  Of course quitting smoking wasgrueling after 26 years of smoking.  I did it cold turkey because my life is more important than a cigarette.  If I can quit smoking (yesterday was 5 months), I can do anything. 

I hope to meet new friends and learn from their stories.

I'm generally easy going.  I am an avid reader.  I love to laugh so comedy is definately my thing.  I'm a pretty good person.  I treat others like I would want to be treated.  Looking forward to meeting positive people. 

Well, that's all folks.  Till we meet again......