365 days

Nov 09, 2011

One year ago today, about this time of day....I was having the first ever surgery of my lifetime.  The biggest change in my lifetime.  I had no fucking clue what the next year held for me.

I've lost  180 lbs.  Ive worked hard to regain 6 of them, mostly muscle.  I did 2 a days at the gym for the first 3 months after surgery (starting at 10 days out).  I didn't eat really anything solid for like 5 months, and when I did I barfed.  For awhile there, I was concerned I'd never be "normal" again.  Then, I turned a corner.  I stopped puking.  I actually felt hungry.  I started eating again, and finally stopped losing weight. 

Today, I eat normal, smaller healthy meals, with small snacks here and there.  I do eat sugar, and drink 1 cup of coffee a day.  I get up everyday @ 5:15 am, head to the gym for an hour or so and start my day.  I'm bartending 3-5 days a week, which in itself is a great workout.  I'm happier than I've ever been with my body.  I lost my best friend.  I gained a new one....and life is great.  My husband, Jason has a 5'11" 146lb wife, I think he enjoys the change.  He wishes I had a few more "curves".  He's just sad that I have no tits.  :(  

Everyone says Im quieter now...... I think they are right.  I don't know how to explain it.... part of me is I don't want to be noticed, or seem like I'm showing off?  And part of me feels like I don't have to try hard anymore to be the loud crazy one so it distracts from my giant size..... and part of me just doesn't give a fuck anymore.  Im bitter.  People treat me differently.  I mean, yeah it's great to be treated so well, but I realize how badly people treat fat people.  It bugs me that I'm the same person, but I feel a lot of people treat me way differently.  I don't know, this is a hard one.  But yeah, I'm quieter now. 

This surgery has been a roller coaster.  I'd never take it back.  I actually own AND WEAR a pair of sz 2 jeans, ALL of my work shirts are a size SMALL!  I am amazed.  My belly and thighs are hideous, and I have no tits.  But, surgeons can fix all that....... I love how I look in clothes.  I love wearing belts, and accessories, and doing my hair and make up everyday.  I feel amazing. 

That.is.all.the.babble.i.have.for.now.

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About Me
Southgate, MI
Location
19.5
BMI
RNY
Surgery
11/10/2010
Surgery Date
Sep 01, 2010
Member Since

Friends 69

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