Jamie B.

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I am updating my profile today and hoping to visit here again more often.

It's been 2.5 yrs since surgery and life is so different, as I have mentioned before. I also had  plastic surgery last year in April. I had a tummy tuck (with anchor incision) and breast lift and augmentation. I LOVE the results. I have a flat tummy for the first time in my entire LIFE!! YAY!!! Next I hope to do my legs..they are pretty jiggly and saggy at this point since I carried so much weight in my legs before.

I am now working on losing my winter 10 as I lovingly call it. I know that my DS will work for me if I work it. I am starting to up the protein and cut the crappy carbs which have become way to common in my diet lately. You know, chocolate, cookies, ice cream...all the stuff that got me tipping the scales at 317lbs. before!!

So onwards and upwards (or downwards as I would like to say!)

I thought I better get my ass on here and update. It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I have updated.
Life is great. I am feeling awesome and have so much more energy. I feel like a different person. My confidence is through the roof and I want to take on the world! As of this morning I have lost 107lbs and today it's my Seven Month mark. It's incredible to think I have only 64lbs. to go until I hit goal. That is nuts. 

If you are reading this and have been continplating surgery...trust me, it is worth it. Every second!!

I have been freed from a Fat Prison!!! 

I didn't weigh myself once last week after my weekly weigh-in on Monday. I didn't want to stress about how much I was losing or gaining so I just waited until this morning for my Monday morning check in. I AM DOWN 5lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY MOLY CRAPOLY!!! I feel GREAT GREAT GREAT!!

I went to my bro's wedding this past weekend and danced up a storm...I didn't feel winded and all sweaty and tired either. That was definitely a wow moment for me because I LOVE to dance!
It feels like my life is starting to go forward now and wls is just in the past but helping me to a better future if that makes any sense. I mean, I am not so focused on my surgery or my weight anymore or especially "do's and don'ts" for eating. I eat normally and it's awesome to not obsess over fat content and calories. I am totally and absolutely lovin' my DS!!

I have moved catergories now!! I am no longer Super Morbidly Obese but Extremely Obese!! Soon to be out that catergory too!! It's so weird knowing I can't fail at this "diet" like all the others!! I am thrilled though!!

As of this morning I am down 11lbs. for month 2...totalling 38lbs!!! I am thrilled because the scale didn't budge all week except for this morning. I even weighed myself three times to be sure!! 

As of this morning I have lost 35lbs. The scale keeps going down without fail. I am having a hard time believing this is real...it's nuts!! I went to Value Village yesterday to buy some pants as most of mine are too baggy now. I bought a pair of cords in size 20!! OKay so they have stretch to them, but still!! 20!!! I was a 28/30 prior to surgery. Thank you God for this amazing gift in the DS!! I am adding a ticker for today and I will on Mondays when I weigh in!

After going through my dresser to find something to wear this morning I decided to try on a pair of black jeans I haven't worn since before I was pregnant with Tyler. That was Jan./04! THEY FIT!!! Holy Smokes man...this DS is really working!! Sometimes I still have to convince myself that I am actually going to do this!!! The weight will be gone!!

04/12/06~ Took the first step towards my new life by calling Ontario surgeons to see about wait times and how I get in to see them. I need a referral from my GP so I called and made an appointment with her for tomorrow morning at 9:45am. I am nervous about this appointment because I am afraid she will tell me she won't refer me. Cross your fingers for me!!

04/13/06~Saw my GP today and she agreed to refer me to Dr. David Starr. I am so so so so excited!! I can't believe she agreed...I was worried she would give me a hard time. She mentioned that she has two other patients that went to the U.S. to have their surgery but is glad I chose a surgeon close to home for follow ups and such. I think she wouldn't have agreed if I wanted to go Stateside because she doesn't feel I am in threat of death right now. Oh well...I don't care about all that...she is referring me to Dr. Starr and that means I will get a consultation with him now. I don't care if the wait for surgery is a year or whatever at least I can start to see some light at the end of this horribly dark tunnel!!

04/17/06~Well Easter is over thank God because I am soo full from all that food still! Yikes! I found out today that Dr. Starr's office is closed until April 24th for Passover so I won't be hearing from them at all this week. Darn! I was hoping to at least get the consultation booked. Oh well...all in time! I told my inlaws about deciding to have WLS and they were concerned and asked if I was sure this was the last resort? I said yes. No more fad diets, no failures. I am tired of the vicious circle. I want a new tool, one that works! One that gives me rewards for my hard work. Unlike all the crap I have bought into in the past.

04/20/06~I have read two books about WLS in the past two days and quite frankly I have this gut feeling that the RNY is NOT for me at all. I have felt that way all along but figured it was the easiest route since it's close to home and my DH can come and I won't be away from my kids. BUT...I got to thinking and researching some more and I can honestly say that the DS is the surgery I want and need. I booked an appointment with my GP for Sat. morning to ask about signing my OHIP form and getting going on seeing Dr. L in Michigan. I talked it over with hubby and he agrees that the DS is the right way to go for me and my lifestyle. He is being 10000% supportive. God love him. So now I wait....tick tock...let's hope my GP is in agreement!!

 

04/22/06~My GP refuses to sign the OCC paperwork for OHIP and after talking with her for about 25 minutes about my situation, my health, my family and what leaving the country for surgery entailed we both decided I should stick with the RNY with Dr. Starr (if agrees of course). So now I have to wait for the call from his office to book my consultation. My GP already sent out the referral to him last week.

04/27/06~Phoned Dr. Starr's office and the receptionist told me my consultation is Friday June 16th at 9am. HURRAY!! The ball is rolling!!

~~Things I want to accomplish as I lose the weight~~
*join ball hockey league
*join baseball league
*play rec. volleyball
*know the feeling of my thighs not rubbing
*wear a backless halter top
*wear strappy sandals that tie up my ankles
*buy a great pair of knee length boots that fit
*fit into theatre seats, hockey game seats and restaurant booths
*see collarbones
*feel hip bones
*ride a bike without 90% of my ass hanging off the seat
*buy clothes in regular sizes not plus sizes
*buy a belt for fashion sake
*not have to raise the steering wheel in the van
*lay in bed with my son on his toddler bed without fear of breaking it
*sit in a lawn chair without fear of a)breaking it or b) standing up with it stuck to my ass
*buy a wardrobe of shorts for summer time

 

04/28/06~I decided to give more effort into getting my dr. to sign the out of country forms. I put together an info package explaining the surgery, the risks, aftercare requirements and a profile on the surgeon I want to see in Michigan. I also wrote a letter to my dr. saying that I feel that going out of country for the DS is the best option for me. I am just so use to not fighting for what I want and avoiding conflict I guess this situation was no different. With the help and support of people on this site though I have realized that it's my body and I should have a say in what surgery I get! So I dropped off that package for my Dr. to read over and booked an appt. in a week (next Friday) to give her time to go over it all.

05/01/06~I am feeling so down today and I can't explain why. I think I am letting negative self talk get to me. I keep thinking...why am I bothering with this OCC application, OHIP will probably deny me anyway. It's tough waiting because your mind plays wicked tricks on you. I am going to try to keep busy tomorrow and the rest of the week until I go see my dr. I have made a list of dr's accepting new patients in case she won't sign the papers, or I may ask for a referral to an endo. who might sign my forms too. I will cross that bridge if I get to it. I think I have to commit to a surgery and fight for it if I really really want it. I guess I am afraid of getting my heart set on the DS to only be told...nope sorry, you can't go out of country for surgery. Which would mean nope, no DS for me since I can't get it done here. I guess I could call the surgeon in SK to see how long his wait list is. I imagine it's about 5+ years though.

05/16/06~Well I can't believe this...I am still waiting to hear from my dr. I was there on Monday with my daughter for her 3 month check up and Dr.S said that she couldn't find my envelope but she was sure she would find it and have one of the girls at the front call me. No such call came in so yesterday I phoned and made an appointment for Thurs. and I will bring all the info with me. I booked a longer appointment so that I have time to discuss stuff with her. I also called and asked to leave a message to see if Dr.S found my envelope of info. They never even called me back. WTF?? It's like they are trying to buy time or something. That's okay, I think 3 weeks is plenty of friggin' time to look over 10 pgs of words for pete sakes. Enough is enough. I am pissed. I really really want to get surgery done in the summer so that I can open my daycare in Sept and not have to take unpaid time off to recover, not to mention disrupt parents' daycare arrangements.

05-17/06~I got bold and called my dr. office today asking if Dr.S did find the envelope that I had left a message yesterday to find out but no one got back to me. The response? "Oh yes, we left the note for her but she didn't get back to us" I said..Ummm is she not in the office?? They said that she had already left for the day and I responded with "Well was she not in the office YESTERDAY when I phoned????" and the receptionist said "yes but she was busy with patients." Oh, I am sorry..it's not like I dropped it off two days ago and am now bugging you insistently about it. THREE FRIGGIN WEEKS!!! give me a break. Immediately after hanging up I phoned a GP in Richmond Hill accepting new patients and made an appointment for next Friday so if Dr. S doesn't sign my forms tomorrow night, I am going elsewhere. I have had enough damn it.

 

05/24/06~My GP has agreed to sign the forms but she will not check off YES to death or tissue damage. WHich means I probably won't get approved but I am going to send it in anyway. I have typed up a side note to OHIP explaining why my dr. won't say YES and hopefully that will help. We shall see. I will just appeal if they deny me and go from there. At least I am making SOME progress anyway...

 

05/25/06~I faxed off my application to OHIP today. My dr. didn't check off YES to death/tissue damage but she did fill out the box that asks what tissue damage could be expected to result in waiting for surgery. I hope that helps my case, that and the letter I sent to explain why my dr. didn't want to check off YES to those questions. So tick tock...I wait and wait!!

 

06/05/06~I saw my Dr. on Saturday about my knees. I knew it was time since I almost dropped my 4 month old daughter coming down the stairs when my knee gave out without warning. They are always aching or clicking or grinding and I am sick of it. So she sent me for x-rays which I did today and on Wed. I go for my first appointment of physio. I guess I have documented co-morbs now. Sad that I almost dropped my daughter though. I felt like the worst biggest fattest loser of a mommy ever.

06/07/06~I started doing Weight Watchers again today. I have to lose some weight while I wait on word from OHIP and besides, I have a consultation with Dr. STarr next week and I want to have lost like 5lbs. by then. I figure the more I lose now, the less I have to lose after surgery! I started physio tonight. The therapist said that my weight is affecting my knees for sure and that because of the size of my thighs, I have a crooked stance. This is also placing a lot of pressure on my knee joints. He said he wouldn't be surprised if I am arthritic. Great! :(

06/12/06~Nothing new to report. Still haven't heard back from OHIP, haven't heard back from my dr. re: my x-rays on my knees. I am going to make a follow up appt. with her to go over the report. I am so sick of having to chase around my dr. office about things pertaining to my health. Isn't that their job???

06/16/06~ Had my consultation with Dr. Starr today. He is a super nice man as well as Tracey his receptionist. Very friendly! He thoroughly went over the surgery and it's risks without candy coating it. Overall, a great experience. Needless to say, if I don't go the self-pay route for dietitian and social worker my appt. isn't until Jan.18th 2007!!!!!!!

06/20/06~It's early morning Tuesday and I am feeling so so
confused and anxious right now. Yesterday I made a social worker appt. with Shelley Aronov. I am still waiting to hear back from the self-pay dietitian, I left a message. But am I seriously jumping the gun here? What if my approval comes this week to have a consult with Dr. L? Why am I giving up? I guess it is what I have been conditioned to do. I was reading the WLS grads board last night and got very very scared by the number of RNY post ops that are starting to gain at 3-4 years out. I don't want to have a surgery only to be "dieting" again in 3 or 4 years. But why does having the DS mean going away from my DH and kids for almost two weeks...why can't someone perform it here in Ontario? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! There, had to get that out...

06/22/06~It's early morning again and I see here thinking about the recent approvals and feel a little jealous. I just want the waiting to be over...either way!! I have a dietitian appt. on July 13th with Doreen Klarr and I am waiting on word of an internist appt. with Dr. Zupnik. I know it's in September sometime but not sure when. Oh and as for an update on my knees, well nothing showed up on the x-rays. My physiotherapist told me though that early stages of arthritis don't show up on x-rays. As for things on the DS front, well I emailed Julie at Dr.L's office and asked how much it was to self-pay for a consultation but she said that Dr.L has a deal with OHIP to combine the cost of consultation and pre-op so it's like $500USD. She said she would book me a tentative consultation date and we could wait to see if my approval comes before then (CROSSED FINGERS!!). It is for July 14th at 12noon. I am stoked!!! Wahoo!! Thank you Julie, you are a gem!

 

06/23/06~I decided to contact Bev Lyman at OHIP today. I have seen others contact her and she is able to get info on your application for you. She is suppose to be very helpful. I emailed her and she immediately responded saying she was in T.O. today for meetings and that she would check for me on Monday when she was back at her office. She emailed me from her blackberry. How good is that?! I was so impressed with how fast she replied and she gave me her direct line number too. Hopefully I will have some answers on Monday. It has almost been a month now.

 

06/25/06~Yesterday we went to the Toronto zoo and did A LOT of walking. We also took my son to the water splash park there. It made me realize something. I have let my obesity dictate for far too long what I do. I didn't even know it until now. I mean I totally missed out on playing with my son in that splash park because I won't wear a bathing suit in public. How sad is that? My son doesn't get to play with mommy because she is too embarrassed! Also today I am soooo damn sore from the walking. I could barely get out of bed this morning. My knees, ankles, feet and hips are totally killing me. This is so ridiculous. I am only 29 years old. I cried in the bathroom this morning when I had a moment to myself. I cried for all that I have missed out on and not even thought twice about it because it's my "way of life". I am not accepting this anymore. It's not good enough. I am now more motivated than EVER to have WLS. Bring it on baby!!!

 

06/26/06~Bev Lyman contacted me today and said that OHIP is waiting for my dr. to fix page two, initial and date it before they can make their decision. GREAT!!! She said she spoke directly to someone at the dr. office and faxed them too. I phoned and asked the receptionist to make sure Dr. S took care of it today. Hopefully she did! Bev said that once they receive the info back from my dr. that a response will come within 24-48 hours so I will know this week whether I am approved or denied....phew...deep breath! I just want an answer already!!

 

06/28/06~MOTHER OF GOD!! I AM APPROVED!! I AM APPROVED!!! I AM DOIN' A MAJOR HAPPY DANCE RIGHT NOW!! My consultation date is firm now...July 14th!! YESSSSSSS!!

 

07/05/06~Dr. L's office told me today that I should be able to have surgery in the second half of August. I am sooo unbelievably excited/nervous/anxious/in shock!!! I never would've guessed in my wildest dreams that I would get exactly what I hoped for. It doesn't happen too often for me...so this is sooo surreal still to me. I have been shopping around for places to stay and coming up with a plan for while I am away etc. It's really happening!!!

 

07/15/06~Well here I sit the morning after my consult with Dr.L and boy am I TIRED!! Who knew that driving so far in one day would tire one out so much!! Although I am tired...it was WELL worth the trip!! Dr. L is very very nice, knows his stuff and made me and my inlaws feel very at ease and comfortable with his knowledge and skills. You can tell he really believes in the DS which is GREAT! He didn't candy coat anything or try to sell us on it which is very important. So now I will wait for Julie's call next week with a surgery date and proceed to make all my arrangements!! I can't believe it's happening. I know I have said it before but it's so surreal to me!! Oh and get this..Dr. L asked me what my goal weight was so I said I would be happy with 150-160lbs. and he said what if I said 130lbs? I said I would be ECSTATIC!! So that is my goal weight...130lbs!! HOly SHIT BALLS!!

 

07/20/06~I went for my blood work today and they took NINE VIALS of blood!!! YIKES!! And I was fasting so I felt pretty light headed when she was taking my blood. Then she did my ECG. Tomorrow I go for my Bone density test and my chest x-ray and that will be that. I will have done all my pre-op tests just have to wait for the results to fax off to Dr.L. I haven't got a surgery date yet. I am a little over anxious about it, but I just want to have all my necessary arrangements in place for when I am going for surgery and the week following my discharge. I am a planner by nature..can't help it! So that is where I am at in my journey so far. I am doing a high protein, low carb diet...it's not too bad actually. Hard to not eat fruit though! I'll see if there are results on Monday!

 

 

 

07/22/06~ I am officially done all my pre-op tests. I did the bone density test and the chest x-ray yesterday. They said the results will be at my dr. office on Monday morning so hopefully my blood work results will be too and I can fax away everything to Dr.L's office. Still no surgery date. I am too impatient I think. Julie is just busy so I will just wait it out. She won't forget about me. I am sure of it. On a really super duper positive note..I have been doing soooooooooo well with my pre-op dieting!! I am doing high protein, low carb and I feel great!! I can't wait to see the scales move on Monday morning!

 

07/24/06~I jumped on the scale and I have lost 4lbs since last Monday!! HURRAY!!! On top of that...I GOT MY SURGERY DATE!! August 30th at 1pm. I can't believe it's going to happen. I am so excited to start my new life, even if the first weeks are hard, I am ready to endure it!! I feel so blessed and fortunate!!

 

08/14/06~It's been a while since I have updated so thought I would do just that! I have lost 7lbs. so far and am working hard to lose at least 10lbs before the big day! I got a call today from Dr.L's office to see if I wanted to move my surgery date up by a week but I have everything in place already so I declined but said thank you anyway. I am getting things in order here, such as menu planning for my family when they are with me for the week following my discharge. I am going to make ahead some meals so it's easier for hubby. I am going to do a deep clean. And I am also going to write some letters to my loved ones. I know I have to think positive but I want to write these letters just in case. So that's how I am so far. Excited, nervous, anxious, scared, and I feel like I am living a dream....I am actually going to drop this weight! YAHOO!!!

08/21/06~I am now in the single digits to the countdown to surgery. I feel strangely calm most of the time but then I let irrational thoughts kick in and I get emotional. DH and I talked last night and he expressed to me how much he is going to hate having me away for a week, without him, having surgery. I tend to agree and I felt like crying when I heard him say that but what else can we do? i have to go out of country, he cannot come so we will meet up after my surgery in Windsor with our kids. I will miss them terribly. They will be just fine without me though, they have their Daddy and my mom is coming to sleep over too. I think everything is in order now..all plans are made, lists are made, I have started packing the kids bags and pack food in boxes (non-parishables obviously) so that DH and my mom have less to do. Now if I could just drop a couple more friggin pounds!!

 

09/17/06~ Well I guess it's about time I updated my profile here!! I am officially down 21lbs. from surgery less than 3 weeks ago. Just today I started feeling more like myself again. Food is going down good, hard to get in all that water but I try! It's amazing what just 21lbs. feels like! I am wearing pants from my closet I wore before my two kids! HURRAY! Thank God for the DS! I had a small opening in my incision line but it is almost dried up now. Most of my incision has no more scabs and looks pretty good. As for the actual surgery, it went well, no surprises. Dr. L is amazing and so was the staff at Crittenton. Remarkable! So now here I am trying to figure out my new plumbing, trying to get in my water, and trying not to overdo it with the kids...that is the toughest part BY FAR! Try explaining to a 2 year old and a 7 month old that Mommy can't pick you up. Breaks my heart!! But soon they won't have "fat mommy" just healthy mommy!!

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