Ashley Nicole

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Wow its been forever since I been to this site.... and I have so much to tell...Looking at my page you will notice i had the toga procedure on jan 6.2009. the toga was a clinical trial in testing a new method of weight loss surgery using a tool that would go down the throat to staple the stomach. January of 2010 I found out I did not have the actual procedure but had the sham procedure. I really didnt know what to feel at that point. I was happy that I wasnt a failure because I didnt lose much weight but at the same time I felt like I wasted a whole yr of my life believing I had something I didnt. Since then In august 2010 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure at 23 yrs old. That was a huge wake up call for me. I attended a weight loss seminar for bariatric surgery and was approved. I was givin dates to do my pre testing but i shortly found out my insurance only would pay $10,000 and I would have to foot the bill for the rest. This was a sad moment for me but I knew I needed to get healthy. So I started losing weight but eventually went back to old habits. In novermber of 2010 i got the news that my insurance was changing and that bariatric surgery would be covered. I would just have to pay $1500 and the copays of going out of network (the hospital i work for doesnt provide bariatrics) This has been such exciting news! Im so ready to start this journey. I am faxing all of my information to the hospital on Jan 3rd 2011 so I can get the process started. Im hoping I can get a date within the next 3 months. I have my fingers crossed and Im praying that everything works out for the best.

Yay...today is my 3 month anniversary.... Most know i have been struggling with this new lifestyle these past three months but today i can see the light. I have decided to take back my life and eat how im suppose to eat. Do what im suppose to do and wow the surgeon and staff at my 6 month appointment. i know i havent lost as much weight as i should have at this point but heck im just happy to have lost some weight!! I fell into a lot of old habits but im changing that... no more fast food for me!! I pray that i can keep my high spirits and reach my goals!!

Today is my 2 month surgiversary....could i have done better? could i have lost more weight?? YES but the greatest thing is im down 40 pounds from highest weight and 22 pounds from surgery. I am happy with that. Im continuing to learn new things everyday.These past 2 months I have realized working out can be enjoyable. That no goal is too big for me. Whatever i put my mind to I can do. I am still working on not using food as my friend. I never realized it would be so hard. I never realized my body was so carb sensitive. Surgery has taught me all these things. I am learning to find new things to do other than eat for joy or boredom or sadness.  I have to take things one day at a time. Its time to win this fight with obesity

I didnt work out today. I guess today would be what some call a down day. I just didnt feel like doing anything. I started my eating program off right but an hour later i gave in to head hunger. My comfort food of choice - cereal. Not so good of an idea. I really should have went to the gym. I know thats what helps to keep me focused and on track. im so obsessed with losing weight quickly that I'm sabatoging myself when im unhappy with the results. I really wish I would have got my mind in order before this surgery. i feel so much pressure to lose this weight at a fast pace. here it is almost 2 months later and I dont have much weight loss to show for it. Sometime I wish i could make my self vomit. yeah serious eating problem. Today I just want to go lay down in my bed and sleep the day away, but i cant because I have to go to work. What a bummer. maybe ill just go drink water the rest of the day and have a light dinner.

Well I made it!! Im officially 1 month Post Op.... Hmmm...I know i'm still learning how to work this tool....I cant say this past month has been gravy because it was a little rough for me...but as each day goes by its gets a little easier.. Im learning to be commited to the GYM and I'm starting to learn that its OK not to clean your plate...(such a bad habit of mine)... The food I place in my mouth is for energy and nourishment..not for pleasure and enjoyment....there are other things for that!! I have to believe that i can do this. That i can win this battle with obesity. And although its going to be a hard fight...I can come out victourious!!

OK SO I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY SOME BEFORE AND AFTER PICS ONE OF THE FORUMS..... ITS MAKING ME REALIZE THAT IM NOT DOING WHAT I NEED TO BE DOING...I NEED TO BE MAKING THE MOST OF THIS SURGERY...INSTEAD IM NOT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS.... I KNOW ITS NOT EASY BREAKING ALL HABITS BUT I DO NEED TO GET ON THE BALL.... ITS NOT THAT IM EATING WRONG FOODS AGAIN....IM NOT EATING SMART.... IM NOT GETTING MY 3 MEALS AND 2-3 SNACKS.....I EAT LIKE ONCE OR TWICE A DAY...AND I DONT ALWAYS FOLLOW PROTEIN FIRST RULE.....AND I THINK IM DRINKING WAYYY TOO MUCH APPLE JUICE AND NOT ENOUGH WATER.......

STILL LOSING THOUGH...VERY SLOWLY....SO I NEED TO UP THE WATER AND EAT MORE OFTEN SMALLER MEALS...

ANY OTHER ADVICE IS WELCOMED.....

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3844273/Flashback-Sat-b4-and-after-pics-please/

ok so im going to get down right honest with this post guys so bear with me....so as you may know i have been battling back and forth with myself with the idea of if i did or didnt get the surgery....so for some reason (im thinking time of month) i kinda had the blues a little....well i decided to eat through it....i would get full...burp and find something else to eat...crackers went down so well!! UGGHHH got to hate those crumbly things...and long behold my day at the doc was bitter sweet....i lost 15 pounds which is great and she was excited but i was thinking how in the world did i let myself gain 8 pounds in one day!!!!!!! now i know granted some of the weight (not much) was from the bulky clothing because i usually weigh in the birthday suit but i was so disgusted....i hate getting set back.. so now im one a quest to get this extra off.....

so heres the plan...straight protein shakes and water til monday 9 go see the surgeon) and i have to make sure i get my exercise.... I am so disappointed in myself...but i know i cant cry over spilled milk because i know what i did was wrong and i need to get my act together....

PCP  says she thinks 140 is unrealistic for my frame...and if i get to 170 or 180 she will be happy......i guess 180 is better then 260 :)..."its not about the weight its about the health" she says. "your a beautiful girl even with the weight but imagine how much more so you will be when your healthier and happier"..... gotta love her...she was so nice to me today....guess she was really happy wit the weight loss...her goal for me...250 by april 16th...hmmm i think i can shatter that and match her 250 with 230 :) but its going to take a lot of effort and hard work :)....end toga blog

so here it is officially one week post op...i have to say im on cloud nine....so far i have lost 23 pounds!!! 13 pounds just since day of surgery...yes i know i really ROCK!! 13 pounds in 1 week!!  anyhow went back to work today and....not a good idea...i was so very sore a few hours in.....so thankfully im off the next 3 days!! i really need to take it more easy....so i go see surgeon next monday for 2 week check up...hoping to be down a total of 25-30 pounds......that would be great!! that would mean 15-20 pounds in 2 weeks!!

if i had the RNY i wonder if my weight lost would have been even faster??? hmmm but ill take what im getting cause im feeling good and face is looking slimmer.....and clothes are getting loose!!

if i keep at this rate... i just might have to take my too tight coogi jeans out this weekend for a little bit of fun :)

well its been two days since surgery....it seems as if ive been on an emotional rollercoaster....clinical trials are nice but it sucks not knowing what happened to you... some times i feel i had surgery..other times i dont...i have experienced all types of feelings since....happy, sad, dissappointed, angry, excited and so forth.....i finally was able to vent all my frustrations and shed a few tears and now im doing things how im suppose to... surgery on no surgery i choose this path to become healthier and thats what i plan to do...

The people who you think you can rely on sometimes are the ones who will be blunt and the people who you never thought would understand are the ones who know you best...i found that out today.... i am blessed to have such a great support system although i have been acting like a brat......

i have been experiencing slight stomach pains and neck pains...the sore thoat is pretty much gone away....but other then that everything was all good...i was finally able to catch up on the sleep i so needed and that was wonderful... i hope this journey proves to be sucessful for me and i know surgery is a tripod....the surgery is one leg but my good eating habits and regular exercise will help hold things together...so im going to devise a great esxercise plan and good eating habits so that in the summer i can feel as good as i look :) Thanks for listening

i cant belive in six more days i weill be in the hospital getting the weight loss procedure done...im really excited about it...but nervous at the same time....i really hope all goes well...i know it will because i have two wonderful surgeons but i also hope that it works!! I have been fat my whole life and im ready to give skinny a try...well i hope the best!!