I've always been fat.  And being fat is the only life I've known.  Having made the decision to have surgery was scary -- not only because of the actual procedure, but because of the results and having my safe, known lifestyle be changed so drastically -- and into a realm I'm not familiar with.  I'm afraid of a few things -- my sabatoging myself and doing the unthinkable (to me) of out eating the procedure and gaining every pound I've struggled to lose.  I'm afraid of who I'll become -- being thin (or smaller) in a thin society is a big unknown to me.  Honestly, I don't know how I'll handle being able to do "normal" things and not have to worry about the things I think about on a daily basis -- and are things most average sized folks don't even have to consider.  I'm afraid how my partner and new husband will relate to me -- he LOVES big women and I'm hoping my shrinking size won't trigger fears about our relationship.  

Having tried every imaginable diet in the world and every way to lose weight, having the Lap Band is the next to the last option to be somewhat average sized.  I say next to the last because I figure if I fail at this, I'll go to Plan B of having the by-pass -- something, at my age, I don't think is a wise option.  All in all, five years ago, I never would have imagined I'd be on a board, talking about weight loss.  I was a proponent of "accepting" yourself and loving yourself as a large person.  While I still do believe in the acceptance, I don't believe that also means that one should jeopardize their well being (in terms of health) IF they chose to have WLS.  Noone or no organization should dictate this very personal decision.  Each story is different and no two people are alike.  

So I'm looking forward to the next several years and hope that my desire to be the BEST I can be will be the driver for my success in my new journey.

About Me
Pflugerville, TX
Nov 05, 2006
Member Since

Friends 8

Latest Blog 6
May 08 Update
OH Conference in San Antonio August 15/16
My Fourth Fill
5 Months Post Op
Two Weeks Post Surgery
New Beginnings - Pre Op