Day 5-getting better

Jan 15, 2009

Today is the 5th day of my 2 week protein prep and it's getting better. The first 3 days were awful-between carb/sugar withdrawl and emotions rising to the surface that I usually stuff over. I never really realized just how many times a day I reach for food until this fast. I have had to put food down more times than I can count-but I am not blowing my chance to have surgery and to get the full DS. If something happens that causes me to NOT get the full DS, it will NOT be because of something I did or did not do.  It was touch and go a couple of days ago when I tried to wrestle Grace's (my dog) "Beggin Strips" away from her, but that's all fixed now, DH hid them from me. (LOL-J/K!)

Time is passing way too slowly though, it seems like it should be next week already and it's only thursday. I know keeping busy is a great help, but I'm kinda stuck..it's hard to explain...it's like I know there's so much to do, what with cleaning and packing-but I am just glued to my seat waiting for it to be "time". Maybe I am just lazy...lol..Sitting here waiting to be magically propelled into the day of Jan 26th simply by chanting "I think I can..I think I can..."...LOL!

I have to talk about my fears-they are valid and I believe everyone goes through them. I've stopped worrying about MOST of the things that are beyond my control, except for a few flare-ups. I worry about not getting the full DS. Our back-up plan is the Distal RNY-which is way better than the way I am now, but it's still not the DS. I worry about complications-not so much for myself, but more so about being a burdeon on other people. Not to mention the "I told you so"s.  I'm not "too" worried about dying on the table-there are "worse" things for me, but again-I don't want to hurt anyone in any way. I've written letters to my family just in case. I don't want to leave anything unsaid. I've heard the same from a lot of people who are getting ready for their surgeries-it just makes good sense in a lot of ways. All in all though, my faith is carrying me through my worries and giving me peace about things.

I can not say enough about the support I have been given on here. There are so many people who have given in such unselfish ways. Every question I have had has been answered with kindness and concern. Every fear I have expressed has been met with reassurance and everytime I just needed to vent, people listened and told me what I needed to hear, not just what I wanted to hear. The support on OH is amazing. It's been a long 6 months since I began this journey, and yet-it is just beginning. I have great dreams for my future-and now I have been given the hope that they are possible.

Thank You everyone! You have no idea how much you all mean to me!

In Love and Light To All,
Robin

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About Me
NEPA, PA
Location
39.9
BMI
Surgery
01/26/2009
Surgery Date
Jul 02, 2008
Member Since

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