At goal

Jun 11, 2012

At first, I wanted more and if it comes, IT will be welcomed. But, I'm not actively pursuing more wt. loss, I'm just working on maintaining and enjoying this journey. I'm starting to explore other areas of my life that I've been neglecting, such as my love life. I've allowed myself to actively re-enter the dating arena last August. It's been a doozy. I used to wish I were in a committed relationship before I had surgery, however I have changed, for the better. Sometimes, even my close friends and family are having to comes to terms with this newfound confident me. The one who doesn't take any crap, the one who is no longer invisible, the one who's comfortable w/ my sensuality. I'm more open, I care a whole hell of a lot less what ppl. have to say and more days than not I just don't give a F*c? what someone thinks of me, which is FREEING.

I feel so liberated. I can't even put into words. So yeah, I'm at goal. My range is the 140's. every once in a while for a day or two I see 150 or 151, I know as long as I keep doing what I'm doing it'll go back down. It usually happens after a vacation, as long as those food breaks don't turn into daily occurences, I'm good. 

Back to dating, I kept myself social w/ friends and family. but totally ignored the grown ass woman who wants intimacy w/ a man, children, vacations w/ a man, etc. When I was really in the thick of my obesity, at my highest in my late 20's 27-30, I so wanted a relationship but feared rejection more than putting myself out there. On top of the obesity challenge, I started working from home @27, further stunting my social acitivities. I was obese in my early- mid 20's as well, but I was in college and it was easy to meet guys at school and work. But even then, I felt unworthy and not to toot my own horn, but I had my fair share of options. But, it doesn't matter what people tell you, it's how you see yourself.  I would always say when I lose ____ lbs. All those fine men I denied myself, lmao! Seriously, I have no regrets b/c I wan't in a good mental space to have a good relationship, now I am. Stay tuned....

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