Where are they now? 4 year 8 month post-op...

Jul 24, 2012

Are you a fan of those weight loss reality shows...ie The Biggest Loser, Dance your Ass Off, Celebrity Fit Club (etc etc) well I often wonder...where are they now??  Did they keep the weight off?  Are they part of the 5% that are successful or the 95% that aren't?  Did you ever think that JUST because you had WLS you can't won't fall into the 95% category...well if you've been around the WLS world then you know good and well you CAN eventuatlly gain the weight back.  It's about changing not just your stomach, but your mind, your spirit, your triggers, your LIFE.

Here I sit before you VSG done on November 26, 2007, making this my surgery age 4 years 8 months.  Wow...just putting those numbers down as I remember my mothers death almost a year before my surgery and thinking it's TIME.  I can't walk in the footsteps of my dead, obesity rittled mothers tracks.  Nope not me.  So here are my stats:

Pre Surgery Highest Weight = 345
Date of Surgery Weight = 302.6
Lowest Weight in October 2010 = 192
Weight Regain in December 2010 = 216.6
Current Weight July 26, 2012 = 223.4

What happened in 2010??  I woke up and was TIRED.  Tired of weighing my food, tired of protein first, tired of being on a diet (and FYI I don't give a rats ass if you call it a diet or "lifestyle" change because in the end, you watch what you eat).  Yup folks I was TIRED.  So what did I do from October until December 31st...not a dayum thing.  I didn't get on the scale daily, some meals were PURE sugar, not an oz of protein.  I barely was drinking my water...BUT...just as I had done years prior I made it a point to get on the scale on December 31st...to a whopping 24.6lb regain in JUST 2 months.

What has happened SINCE December 31, 2010...ALMOST every bad habit that I had pre-op is setting up shop.

1.  A little bit doesn't hurt = BULLSHIT...if that was the case they would say alcoholics have a drink every now and then...here's some crack, meth, etc.  Does that mean I have to be perfect?  I'm learning to a HUGE degree YES.  Food may not have me breaking into your house to score my next fix, or driving down the street and plowing into you, BUT it does send me on a very dark spiral of despair.

2.  Eating in the car doesn't count = BULLSHIT...yeah just because I grab something and eat it in the car those 200+ calories DO count and does NOT mean when I get home and it's "dinner" time I get to eat something else.

3.  Have a cheat MEAL (like I didn't read have a cheat DAY which turns into at LEAST 2 days = Moderation I've heard it even told it, but yeah I can moderate my NON trigger foods, but the shit that HELPED me get to 345lbs, ummm if I could (only talking about ME here) moderate...yeah well I know the story.

4.  Bored eating/stress eating/celebratory eating/depression eating/baby shower eating/birthday eating/shit just plain old EATING is just fucking me 3 ways of Sunday.  I am so tired of HAVING to eat...can't I just live off AIR??

5.  Laying in bed and eating just before I go to sleep = ummm do I think I'm going to STARVE to death in the next 6-8 hours that I literally am laying on the bed eating and going to fall asleep in like 10 minutes???

NOW don't get me wrong I have MANAGED to NOT bring back quite a few of my bad habits, but the ones listed above are plaguing me...the awesome thing is that I will NOT give up. 

I haven't quite figured out what WILL work but I'm still trying...maybe identifying here will help me.  With that said I am trying another approah...wait for it!!

1.  Mindful eating = Paying attention to WHY I am eating.  

2.  Eating ON a schedule and NOT deviating from THAT schedule.  Food is fuel...food is fuel...FOOD IS FUEL damn it!!  I need a schedule because I don't necessarily get physical hunger, but this HEAD of mine wants to eat every few seconds...wait for the full sensation to go away and fill it up again.  It has got to stop, so it's time to start my schedule again.
6am-10am = Water, Protein Shake, Coffee
10am = Snack
1pm = Lunch
4pm = Snack
7pm = Dinner

I guess this is IT for this report...the plan is to come back here every month until I'm BACK in Onederland and BACK under control!

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