22 Pounds Away

Dec 29, 2012

Hey OH family. I hope you are enjoying the holiday. My holiday was different this year. This WLS really changes your life. I thought about all the things I normally do during the holiday, and what I could do this year and my feelings had a hard time dealing with the change. I had to keep reminding myself I did this for better health. People keep telling me how great I look, but the funny thing is when I look in the mirror I don't see it. Sometimes when I look at pictures I can see some changes. Check out my pictures and let me know what you think. Lately I have been going through my closets to give away more clothes. I am so used to wearing oversized clothes to hide my body. You would think I would be happy about the thought of new clothes, but I was really sad and cant figure out why . It was almost y like a grieving process. Then when ordering new clothes, I would buy my old size. Of course I would have to send the clothes back because once I saw them on my body they looked bad. I'm slowly learning and accepting my new size...I will get there. Another milestone I had recently is recently I had a MRI, CT Scan, and Xrays done. This is the first time in years that there was no issue about being too heavy for the tables for the test. . Now I can go anywhere and get proper tests and treatments! My last  major milestone is when I was weighed last week, I found out I am only 22 lbs away from being under 300 lbs. I haven't been in the 200's since high school, and that is  over 20 years ago. I am on my way to being one sexy diva, my 40's are looking better and better. Now I just need to pick back up with my PT. I had to stop for a minute because of some other health issues that needed to be fixed first. 

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Month 6

Nov 28, 2012

I am here to report on month 6. I'm not sure how I am doing. I'm still messing up. I got fussed at by my physical therapist about missing appointments. So I have to get on the ball with exercising in the pool with my PT. Now as far as eating,  I'm cutting up eating sweets since I cant enjoy Thanksgiving food like I wanted to. I'm still slowly losing because its painful to overeat (ask me how I know), and only eat small portions. My food choices are poor sometimes, but I do make a conscience effort. I have lost a total of 128lbs, but now I'm concerned about becoming too thin. I don't have that issue now because my tummy is still large, but its slowly changing.  keep buying clothes in my old size because I don't think some things will fit. I did manage to buy some leggings in the correct size, but thank God for elastic; a big girls friend. I'm just mad right now and I don't understand why... I am going through some changes. Can anyone relate?

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Month 5

Oct 31, 2012

Hello OH Fam. I haven't completely forgotten about you. I sent out a private email to my friend list which said:

how are things going? I know I haven't blogged this month, but I will try to get to it. My weight loss has slowed down, so I have been going through some things emotionally and mentally. I am trying to start working out in Physical Therapy, but when my appointments are consistent I lose momentum. What's new and different with you? I need your encouragement....its hard changing 40 years of bad habits!

As stated in my note, emotionally I have been struggling with this journey this month, which is the reason I haven't posted much. I am keeping the faith and believing this is temporary, and I will feel like a new woman . Soon I will start my 2nd closet purge because my clothes are fitting looser. I am so use to wearing oversized clothes, I need to figure out my correct size. I did order a few temporary pants and tops until I get to a more consistent size. Well until next month (which is tomorrow) take care and stay healthysmiley

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Still Celebrating...

Sep 27, 2012

my birthday month. Even though I cant enjoy cake and ice cream this year, I have had so many ah ha moments this month I  really don't mind. For the first time I can see my own weight loss in a picture. I finally realize I do look different....like a person who has lost weight. I took a picture in a football jersey that I couldn't fit last year when I bought it. It is very loose in the top area. Around the tummy area it fits a little snug but not tight. Speaking of tummy, mines is starting to slim down . The bad news is that it is hanging so low that I am going to need plastic surgery. I thought I could work around it ( I really didn't want to go through another surgery next year), but it's hanging so low it swings; which throws my balance off. Plus I am having rash issues so i am not pleased. It feels like the amount that can be cut off weights at least 25lbs. Plus I know I would be able to fit smaller clothes which means shopping time. I am enjoying physical therapy, which is slowly building up my strength. I can stand a little longer without pain, but my walking is still limited. Hubby and I recently went to VA Beach for a getaway to celebrate my birthday. I was so happy because in previous trips we never sat on the beach because we cant roll a wheelchair on sand. This time hubby rolled my chair to the edge of the sand, and I was able to walk a nice distance on the beach where we could watch the water up close. Hubby even went and put his feet in the edge of the water (he love it)!!! I was also so proud of myself for going to the gym to ride the stationary bike...something I have never done.My therapist would have been proud to see me, but I was proud of myself . I am caring more about my health, even while grocery shopping. Less junk food gets purchased and more fruits and veggies come in the house. . I have developed a habit of snacking...but my snack of choice is sunflower seeds. I don't know why I am so hooked on them, but better them than sweets. I even went 2 weeks without getting sick;but I'm still learning about what my new tummy does and doesn't tolerate. The only thing I struggle with now is seeing foods I cant have on menus. For example when went to Sonic in VA there are so many things on that menu I love to eat....but I have to consider my health and remember that I am feeling better. I cant do everything I would like to do yet (like taking walks around the neighborhood), but I am getting there. Plus I am loving all of the compliments and encouragement I have received lately. I;'m starting to get my sexy back!! Soon hubby might have to buy a shotgun to keep the men away....lol. Until next time....OH family keep getting and staying healthy
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Still hanging in there....

Sep 12, 2012

Hello OH family. I hope everyone is moving along in your journey to a healthier you. Since the last time I have posted I finally made it into the century club I was happy to see the loss on the scale. I also notice my clothes are fitting looser, so it might be shopping time in October I still have trouble seeing the weight loss because my tummy is still very large and my face is still full. Once my double chin and tummy go away I think I will feel better about my progress. There have been a few days when I didn't eat healthy, but I get back on the wagon quickly. My new tummy is still picky about foods....things I like, my tummy will disagree and send it back. I dint see how anorexics and bulimics do it, I hate vomiting. It is a terrible feeling for me. It also upsets my husband greatly, so he becomes really nervous when I eat sometimes. He worries about me eating something my tummy doesn't like or eating too much. He has become the food police around here, I guess I need one. My mind tells me I can have certain things, and my body reminds me my system is different. I am still trying to get my protein in through food, so every meal I have I eat my meat first, then veggies. I dint even get to any starches because I'm full  by then.

In other news, I had a ah ha moment. I got in my car to drive. My tummy is about 6 inches away from the steering wheel! Also when I have to turn to see if cars are coming, I can turn more then my head. I can twist my body around to get a better view! I was so surprised because that shows me I am still losing weight. I also can fit a skirt that I haven't worn in 5 years because I was too big, but I kept it because I liked it. I take pictures of myself a little more and friends and family rave about the weight I'm losing. That is a very good feeling. It is helping me restore my self esteem and self confidence...things that I lost when gained a lot of weight.

Also since I posted last time I have started taking PT. I started with twice a week. Next week (Which is my birthday week ) I begin 3 times a week. The first 2 weeks I slept a lot because I was so tired from therapy. My body said "What the hell are you doing? We don't exercise" I really want to get rid of my wheelchair and walker and cane. I have to use my cane to walk because for some reason my balance is off. I cant walk in a straight line. The therapist said that happens because my brain is saying one thing, and my body is revolting and doing it's own thing.  My knees, hip and back hurt so bad when I try standing for longer than 5 minutes, but slowly my endurance is increasing. God help me when I start 3 times a week. Some days my body says I cant keep PT because it hurts, but I push myself. I am used to pain, but these are new pains so hopefully they will change soon. I really want to go back to working again. I have my own business which is slow right now because that is all I can handle now, but I would like to bring in more income so we can enjoy traveling or just having a weekend get away..........things we stopped doing when I got sick. We also have a ton of medical bills that need to be paid. We are thanking God for His help keeping us above the poverty line. So many people are struggling financially and the stress is killing them. I worry sometimes about our bills, but I realize we are doing the best we can on a one person income.

Lastly September 17th is my 41st birthday. I thank God for these years because for a long time I didn't think I would see 40. My parents both died at young ages. My family tradition is to celebrate your birthday all week. I have to figure out what I'm going to do. I know I'm going to Bingo which is my new hobby I enjoy. Part of me is sad I cant have cake and ice cream for my birthday (yes, I am a grown kid), but I know that its healthier not to have it. I have to find something to substitute for it. Well that's enough for me right now, but keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. We all need motivation, some more than others. I need a lot, this journey is completely different from what I am used to

5 comments

3 Months

Aug 16, 2012

Hello OH family.I know I have been quiet for a minute, but all is well. I will my 3 month anniversary on the 21st of this month. When I visited my surgeon he told me I was doing well. I have lost a total of 90lbs since the beginning of my journey!! That is so hard to believe but the scale doesn't lie. I'm starting to see and feel some changes, but once my clothes start falling off I will be happy. Since I carry most of my weight in my middle, my old clothes still fit my waist. Hopefully in the next 3 months I will see more drastic changes (like my face thinning out,etc)....therefore you will see more pictures.
I've had my ups and downs but I'm still moving along. I have added a few more do not eat foods to my list, I'm learning what I can and can't do. My energy is slowly coming back. I will start exercising when I start physical therapy at the end of this month.

3 comments

Too Many........

Aug 03, 2012

Hi OH Family. Today I want to talk about something close to my heart. Being a plus sized woman I tend to have plus sized friends. Well lately I have been losing too many friends. For example last December I had a friend I talked to daily on line. She is my Sorority sister in a sorority that celebrates plus size beauty while promoting various health issues in the community. My friend was a newlywed, married for 6 months and enjoying life. I talked to her on Friday about something, not realizing that would be our last conversation. For some reason I didn't check my text messages on Sunday, so when I logged on Monday I saw all of these RIP messages. I was about to call her sister when I saw the text the sister sent. My friend in her late 30's had a heart attack at home and died Saturday. Of course that hit me like a ton of bricks ..........why did this happen to such a sweet person? I vowed I would continue preparing for my bypass surgery to improve my health. I can't imagine hurting my family and friends by leaving too soon. Trust me I know how it feels, both of my parents died young. In fact when I turned 40 I cried because my father died at 39, and I wondered if I would live to see 40.
Fast forward to today. I have lost another plus sized friend suddenly. She was in her early 30's and having some health issues because of her weight. For the past few months she has been losing weight to help improve her health so she could be around to see her god child grow up and she could do more things. Plus she was tired of dealing with doctors (I know how she felt). All doctors aren't bariatric friendly and over the years I have had my share of them. They don't examine you to find out your problem because they know it has something to do with your weight. Well I just got news that she died this morning. She was in the hospital for a re-occurring infection that antibiotics weren't curring. She died this morning......too many of my plus sized friends are leaving too soon and my heart is heavy. The message I'm getting is that extra weight will kill you. I believe I did this surgery in time to prevent an early death. I just have to stay motivated. I didn't have this surgery to be skinny or to wear a size 10, I did this to be healthy. I want to be healthy for myself and then my family and friends. I want to know what it's like to be a mother, enjoy traveling again, and to dance like no one is watching!

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Bye Bye Nurse

Jul 31, 2012

This Friday was my last day of having a home health care nurse. My wound from June 12th has finally and completely healed. On one hand I will miss them because they were so nice, but on the other hand I'm glad it's completely closed. Now I have to wait 30 more days before I can get in the pool. I told my Doctor the summer will be over by then, but I am thankful for indoor heated pools.
My other issue is my list of foods my new tummy can't tolerate is getting longer. I have been craving seafood since summer started. The beginning of summer I was on a liquid diet, and since it has been healing. So last week I had shrimp and crab legs. Well what do most people eat with crab legs? Melted butter. Without me thinking about it I was enjoying my food. Before I could finish my stomach started protesting. I was sick for 2 days. Now my DNE (do not eat) list is:
*Steak or hamburger (at least for a year)
*Barbecue pork (at least not for breakfast)
*Melted butter
*Grits (may try it again in a few months)
*Rice
*Raw Veggies (at least not now)

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You never know.....

Jul 25, 2012

 who watches you and how people feel about you. I just have to get this off my chest because I am still kinda shocked. You know my most recent picture? I posted a cropped version (from the chest up) on Facebook because I had people telling me that I needed to put up new pictures because I don't look the same. Now mind you only a select few outside this website have seen my photos. Well in the span of 1 day there were 66 people who liked my picture and 35 left comments telling me how good I look. Now mind you I cant see it, but evidently everyone else can. There were people commenting that I didn't even know they paid any attention to me...other than playing games. Most have seen me in person and know me. I know I have body image issues ( I'm working on it), but this is really a strange feeling..........
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2 Month Mark

Jul 21, 2012

Time is moving fast. Seems like yesterday I was in the ICU recovering from my surgery. I am glad that it finally stopped hurting to eat.......but now I'm in a new stage. I have never in my life been  so much. I have discovered barbecue pork and too much applesauce are not my friends. Since it doesn't hurt I'm thinking I can eat normally......but oh no!! Raw veggies are off the list for now, hamburger, and steaks are bad. I also have to watch my carbs....something that I love to eat.  I am at the stage where I am a lot to avoid eating things I shouldn't have. I have grown very tired of sugar free and diet drinks, so now I drink watered down juices. O course I keep an eye on my calorie intake because I am afraid of gaining weight again.With my tummy so small I have to make smart decisions on what I put in there. I'm at the stage of beginning to deal with the reasons why I eatI have to get into a better schedule with eating my healthy meals, getting my protein in. I had blood work done and everything is on point except my vitamin D was low I still wear the same size clothes even though I am very close to being 100lbs lighter. I still have severe back pain which prevents me from standing a long time, but my knees are very happy these days. Now I need to find a workout regimen. As soon as my wound heals I want to get in the pool . Hopefully I can get physical therapy to help build up my strength. I need that structure and discipline to get started. My last issue is the , or the lack thereof. Stool softeners and laxative are my friends. I look forward to the day when I can stop taking so many pills. Maybe that's TMI, but I am being honest. I plan to take more pictures soon...I haven't caught the photo bug yet. If I can get my belly to flatten I would be a very happy camper. I want to get my sexy/sassy attitude on.
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About Me
Waldorf, MD
Location
60.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/21/2012
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Jun 14, 2008
Member Since

Friends 69

Latest Blog 29

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