Holding myself accountable

Dec 28, 2008

I went to see my doctor on 12-26-08.  I didnt realize that I hadnt been in 3 months.  I stopped going because I was embarrassed and i let myself get out of control.  I had went back up to about 218.  My doctor really let me have it, i expected that he would.  The thing is that it wasnt because of the weightgain it was mostly for not coming in and not making better choices.

I had goten back into strictly dieting.  Then of course when you mess up you just throw your hands up and really go crazy.  I let myself forget why I had this surgery.  I had this surgery to become healthier because what I was doing before was not working. 

After he lit into me he gave me a fill.  i think he said that I have about 8.2 cc's in my band now.  He did check to make sure all of the fluid was in there and it was.  Now usuallty my dioc has me do 24 hours of clears and slowly add food back.  This time he said I need to refocus so I am on 2 days clear, 2 days full liquid and 5 days soft food.  The same diet that I had after the band.  So far it has not been so bad and I haven't been hungry at all.  My stomach grumbles and after I drink something I am ok.

So far I have lost 6lbs, I checked this morning.  So hopefully with this fill I will make it under 200lbs.  This morning I was at 210.2.  The lowest I have been since my surgery was 207.  I really hope that with this new fill and my trying to refocus that things work out.  I know I have to put forth more effort then I was before. 

So with lots of prayer and new determination I look forward to a new outcome.

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