MsTonya610

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I am 3 years out today and I am soo happy that I made the choice to be banded it was one of thr best things I could have done for myself.  Let see im in a size 12 pant medium top and 8.5 shoe (which by the way are ALWAY heels LOL) and to date I have lost 113 pounds.  And even though I am not at goal I am soo very happy.  I'll get to goal someday but for now I am really enjoying the ride down the scale.  I never thought lose weight would change some much of my life and who I am.  My cousin said to me the other day your not "Fat Tonya" anymore your a new person.  And I guess I am a new person now!!!Being Banded was one of the best things that God has Blessed me with!!!! 

Things have been going really good over the lat ccouple months the weight has been coming off very well and I will be at my goal weight by the end of the year which is exciting.  I him one of my mini goals which was to buy and wear something from the Bebe store and the I did just that for my birthday.  I brought a little black sexy Bebe dress and rock it with some super hott heels.  YAY Me!!!  But today I got a big blow to the gut per say.  I have had a crush on this guy for a year now and we have been spending a lot of time together in a group setting not one on one we joined a gym with another friend and today he asked our other friend a how much he paid for his wedding!!!! He thinking about getting married soon that was a huge blow to me.  I like him and I know he has a girlfirend but I didn't think they were that serious.  I hope the shock wasn't to clear on my face but I am a bit bummed but Im happy for him I guess???

Last week my church did a fast which is something that I have never been able to do not even to get my band.  I cheated during that also.  I have had such a hard time with cheating I just thought that going a day without cheating was just something that I couldn't do.  But I learned alot about myself over the last week not only was i able to the fast I only ate once a day and didnt cheat not once.  I learned that my eating is all in my head and I can control it! WOW LOL........

I finally made it out of the 200's and I am soo happy about it and in the process I also hit my 100 lbs lost.  I am soo very happy Goal Weight here I come.

I had a bad day.  i just dont seem to get or understand men and I pray that on day I will but right now I so totally lost.  I was in a long term relationship for 10 years off and on. We had been off since January and I decided that I have had enough so I called it quites for good.  I am looking for someone else my prince charming but all I keep seeing are frogs.  But I got down today and thought that it might be me.  It took me a min to realize that I can only be who I am take or leave it.  And one day I will meet a man who really loves me and want me for the person that I am.

I am dealing with a lot of things that are making me unhappy right now..I am trying to work out what I can and let go of what I can't  I keep hear people tell me to let go and let God but because I am such a worrier I don't know how to do just do that.  I need help letting go.

I can see myself being under 200 lbs soon and I am freaking out..... I an with in 15 lbs and I am feeling soo good right now.  It seemed like a unreal number for soo long and now that is close it seem like I am dreaming.  GO ME GO ME!!!!!

I just up dated my ticker and I noticed that in 2 more lbs and my to go will be less than my gone.  I am feeling good about the fact that things are back moving for me.

I am in a funk today !! I am dealing with a couple thing ans they are getting to me today.  I want to cry but I really have no tears to.... And I am really fighting the impose to eat cause I am not hungry..... I just not feeling to hot today maybe I will later...

My 1 year Banniversary is coming up on the 24 and I began to get down on myself because I am an not at goal.  Heck I am not eve half way to goal at this point and it made me said I imagined I would be there by now when I first started my journey.  But being me I had find some way to turn this around and I told myself you had a hard year lose of loved ones and a stroke and you still managed to lose over 75 lbs.  I told myself a year ago you weighted 75 lbs more and you have gone down 6 dress sizes and that's something to be proud of.   I know it may take me another year to get to goal but I am looking forward to it, that gives me another year of NSV and SV  which I love to no end.  Another year of people tell me "every time I see you look smaller and smaller" I love hearing that also.  I can say that I am not where I thought I might but I am damn sure happy that I not where I was.  I am hot, sexy and soooooo very blessed now and the flame is only growing.  So now almost a year later I have to say “it was worth it!!!!”