Nannette
2004 - Major Changes
Jun 16, 2009
1/5/04 - I BENT OVER! Just had to share. I bowl regularly in a league on Sunday nights -- well, last night as I stood up to bowl, I noticed that my shoelace was untied. Without thinking, I just bent over from the waist and tied them. In the next instant, I realized how strange and unusual that felt. 114 pounds ago, I would have had to return to the seats, put my leg up on the seat besides me, bend my leg towards me to tie the shoe. I never could have bent over or even squatted down to my shoe! How silly to get excited over this simple task, but I was -- I then bowled a good game of 186 to celebrate even more -- I was thrilled!1/15/04 -- OK, I'm supposed to leave for AMOS get together in Vegas today, but with all this snow, I hope my flight takes off and there are no problems. I'm down to 219 this week (117 pounds gone) and wearing a size 16W easily. Will post again when I get back.
1/21/04 -- Back from Vegas -- it was great fun and although the AMOS group was smaller than expected, everyone (Lee Anne, Tony, Andrea, Deanna) was very easy to get along with and amicable. Highlights of my trip in order -- not having to ask for a seatbelt extension on the plane; not having to raise the armrest so I wouldn't be squished; having the seat tray be able to extend all the way down flat without laying on my chest, belly or thighs!; dinner at a Hawaiian Fusion food restaurant (sea bass was delicious); spending Friday morning hiking Red Rock Canyon with my sister-in-law, Eileen (and getting to know her much better); shopping at outlet mall and actually able to buy good leather belts that fit; meeting Lee Anne, Tony and Andrea; riding the New York, New York roller coaster without worrying if I was going to fit; going to the Cirque du Soleil show "O"; being able to walk almost the entire "Strip" on Saturday; drinking with Eileen and Carmel (my niece) and me dancing Saturday night.
I didn't lose too much money; enjoyed a show, and the company -- while not a blast, it was generally both a very relaxing, but invigorating weekend getaway. I'm proud of myself for going alone, even with the guilt of leaving Chuck behind. Our son, Jeff took good care of him while I was gone. Only negative is that I gained 2 pounds while I was away, and have to get that off fast!
2/1/04 - I'm down 122 pounds to 214 -- my next mini-goal is to break 200. When I do, you'll hear me scream clear across the country! Initially, breaking 200 was my only goal, but now I would like to get down to between 155-170. I think it is realistic and doable, though the weight loss has considerably slowed, it is still coming off.
I have a wedding to go to in March, so I decided to start looking for a dress -- bought a size 16 yesterday in Macy's (Misses department, not Women's!) -- a black lacy off-the-shoulder thing with 3/4 sleeves and an asymetrical hem. I feel so sexy in it that I went to
The only thing that got me down while I was shopping is that most dressy dresses seem to be sleeveless, and the hanging skin on my arms and back make that impossible! While before I would have been satisfied with fitting in a size 16, I'm getting greedy -- now I want it to be a 12 -- and able to wear something sleeveless -- is it asking too much?
2/16/04 -- Down to 209. It is now exactly 8 months since my Lap RNY in June and time for my monthly update. Things to be grateful for since WLS and losing 127 pounds:
· No longer having Type II diabetes
· No longer having weight-based asthma
· No longer having sleep apnea, and actually being able to sleep and wake rested
· Having energy to spare!
· Having my cholesterol drop over 100 points
· Being within spitting distance of breaking the 200-pound mark – somewhere I haven’t been for over 25 years!
· The thrill of shopping for clothes, and being almost able to wear “normal” sizes.
· Being able to cross my legs under my desk
· Being able to fit in a coach airline seat with no seatbelt extension or having to raise the armrest.
· Being able to walk easily without concern
· Being able to speak without panting and breathing heavy (unless I want to)!
· Feeling both physically and emotionally stronger to better able me to care for my DH who’s ill
· Wanting to ”strut” at times
· Being able to pass on my too big clothes to worthy people and causes without worrying if I’ll ever need them again
· Thankful for my local support group, and thankful for the AMOS friends I’ve made on this site.
3/11/04 -- Is it for Real? I'm talking about the number on my scale. It is saying 199! I haven't seen that number 1 to start my weight in over 27 years!!!!!! Is it true? It means that I lost 5 pounds this week alone -- of course, the fact that I am home sick has contributed to the fact that I'm not eating normally the last couple of days, but will it be real tomorrow too? A total loss of 137 pounds to date -- Wow!
My husband's siblings are arriving tonight from
3/20/04 -- OK, I guess it wasn't for real after all! I weighed in at the Dr yesterday for my 9-month check up and again today at Curves to be measured and both scales said 203! I knew it was too good to be true -- to be under 200! I know it is only a number, but I so wanted it to be true. I think a lot had to do with the fact that I have been sick for the last two weeks and was unable to work, or excerise like I am used to doing. Although I was eating the same as always, the lack of exercise brought back a few pounds or didn't keep them off! So this month there was only a loss of 6 pounds, but I did manage to lose another 7.5 inches! So total pounds loss to date is 133 -- I will make it under 200 next month -- I promise!!!!!
4/20/04 -- It has been a whole month since I updated, and it has been a rough one. My husband has only been given 4-6 weeks left to live, before he loses his battle with Cancer. I am caring for him at home, and juggling work too, which is getting more and more difficult. Although I have continued to lose weight, it has been much more difficult and slower lately between stress eating, normal plateauing, and less exercise. I am now down to 196 pounds -- reaching my goal of being below 200, and a total loss of 140 pounds! I need to keep strong -- both for myself and my family during this time.
5/16/04 -- Another tough month -- I am nearing the end of my journey with my beloved husband -- he is deteriorating very quickly now, and it has become too hard for both me and my son to care for him at home. I realize that for the last few weeks of his life, I will have to put him into the hospital. Although I know this is not what he would have wanted, both my kids and I are exhausted both physically and emotionally, and are near our breaking point. The cancer has moved to his brain, and he is unable to communicate verbally or make much sense at all. I'm not sure that he can even understand what I am saying to him even though he is clearly awake, but unresponsive. It's almost as if my husband is already gone, even though his body is still here. I think it will be best in the long run, but I can't help but feel guilty about it. In any case, I will make the final decision later today. Keep us in your prayers -- we need it!
As for my weight, I have lost another 8 pounds for a total of 148 -- down to 188#s. However, I have definately resorted to all bad habits, stress eating the wrong things just to put something in my mouth! Have to get that under control again....
Also, my photo has been updated, although the mid-progress ones seem to have fallen off my profile!
5/18/04 -- Well, it happened at 8:55am this morning. My beloved husband, Chuck, of 27 years passed away this morning. Even though I knew it was coming within the next few weeks, it still hit me hard and as a surprise. Worst of all, I wasn't with him when the end came, which is something I wanted to do. In any case, I've been told that he went calmly in his sleep shortly after I checked on him this morning. He's finally out of pain -- it had gotten so bad at the end, that I am relieved that he is no longer suffering. But when I think about a life ahead without him, I get so sad and angry too -- we spent our entire relationship laughing -- he was always such a hoot to be around. In our entire marriage, we NEVER had a major fight - sure we bickered, but never about anything serious, and we never stayed angry for more than a couple of hours. I can't imagine not having him to laugh with! I loved him so....
5/24/04 -- Thank you for the multitude of e-mails and postings that I received from many of you expressing your sympathy, prayers and support on the death of my beloved husband, Chuck. They are all very much appreciated.
The service on Friday worked out well -- with Chuck and I being so unconventional, and Chuck being such an avid golfer, I thought it appropriate to lay him out in his golf clothes, complete with his cleats and his golf clubs nearby. It was what he would have wanted - being surrounded by his family and his golf clubs - the things most important to him!
Additionally, a DVD memorializing some of his life's special moments was made, and can be viewed online at www.mem.com. Just plug in his last name (Ryan) and select him from the list. If you wish to view it, choose Slide Show instead of Play Movie -- it's quicker.
He is being cremated today, with a burial of most of the cremains early next week at the VA cemetary with a military honors flag ceremony. The remaining ashes will be sprinkled at sea later this summer, while hosting a few drinks in Chuck's memory! Chuck loved a good party, and would have hated anything too morbid.
Unfortunately, everyone who visited me last week seemed to be concerned that I wasn't eating properly and fed me! I gained 3 pounds!
In any case, I know the next few months will be tough for me adjusting to life without him, but I thank you for your continued support and prayers. I am back to work today and trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one day at a time.
6/3/04 -- Hi guys -- I need an intervention from my fellow WLS'ers. Anybody care enough to give me a much needed kick in the ass!
As many of you know, my beloved DH, Chuck, passed away two weeks ago - and in my grief and trying to cope since then, I have fallen back into many of my old bad stress-eating habits -- munching throughout the day -- eating without thinking, eating too late in the night, etc., etc., etc..
With my one-year anniversary coming up fast, I had hoped to continue to lose weight -- but in the last three weeks, I've gained 3 pounds and been unable to take it off again -- keep going up and down on the same 3-4 pounds. I'm having a difficult time getting back on track.
Help me before I fall off the wagon completely -- I beg you!!!!
6/18/04 -- OK, my one-year re-birthday was two days ago and today was my check-up with the Dr. Bloodwork is all good -- a little high on the bad cholesterol, but overall cholesterol is under 200, so not terrible. My weight is holding steady at about 186 -- I have been up and down 5 pounds since Chuck (my beloved DH) died, getting as low as 185.5, then bouncing back up to 190. I had hoped to be at 175 by this time, but under the circumstances, I don't think I'm doing badly -- losing 150 pounds in one year! Definately couldn't have done that before WLS. I am eating more, averaging 1500-1800 calories a day -- too high. Need to get it down to between 1200-1500 again. Mostly stress eating in the evenings when I'm home alone. Also, I had been keeping my carbs below 75 before and now it's over 100 most days. Got to get that under control again. I haven't come this far just to sabotage myself.
6/21/04 -- I got a new short haircut on Saturday -- needed a change for many reasons. Haven't had short hair in over 20 years! So far, I like it and have gotten compliments. Looking forward to the NYC OH event on Saturday -- have made hotel reservations in the city so I don't have to commute and will get together with TT and hopefully meet other people too! Need the distractions!
6/28/04 -- Weekend was fine -- not enough people attended the NYC OH event and I was disappointed in that, but Tony and I hung out on Sunday and that was fun. Went to the Gay Pride parade (lots of men in g-strings!), saw two shows -- Little Shop of Horrors and Chicago. I was glad for the company and his friendship.
7/6/04 -- Finally, lost two more pounds and down to 184. Have been up and down with the same five pounds since the week after Chuck died. Am definately eating more calories and more carbs which has something to do with it. However, if I had an absolutely good day in the past, it would get me back on track. Now, a good day or two isn't enough and I have to work that much harder to stay on track.
7/19/04 -- It was a reflective weekend for me -- both good and bad, so I thought I would take this opportunity to try and put my thoughts down.
Friday was exactly 13 months since my RNY -- I started out at 336# and now weigh 180# -- a loss of 156# -- diabetes, sleep apnea, asthma and cholesterol all under control.
I have so much excess skin that I want to go the PS route; however, there are no rashes to document and I can't afford to self-pay, so I believe I will have to postpone this wish to complete my body for now.
Sunday was exactly 2 months since Chuck died -- I'm doing ok most of the time, but there are times when I lose it. I have been trying to keep real busy physically - Curves, walking, belly-dancing lessons and shopping! When I'm moving I feel the loss less. However, during nights and weekends during the quiet times it gets tough. And true to past history, those are the times I reach for food -- (it's true when they say our stomache is fixed, but our heads are not!). I find myself eating when I'm not hungry or snacking too much. Carbs are definately a problem, but lately I have been trying to reach for protein rather than carbs -- sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
My capacity for food has definately increased -- Although I try to keep my calorie count about 1500 per day and my carbs under 75, there definately are days when the carbs are over 150 and the calories are a bit over 2000 -- not a good sign. Even when eating cottage cheese, I have been known to be able to eat 12-16 ounces within a half hour. My Dr said my pouch should be between 8-10 ounces now, but I still think I can eat more than I should. I can usually finish a normal restaurant portion if I don't eat the appetizer and salad, etc. I fear that I will be one of those people who are initially successful, then gain all the weight back once several years post-op.
On the other hand, the loss of my spouse also means a signficant loss in income; I shouldn't be shopping -- however, being able to slip into a size 12 pants is so exciting and I have always been a clothes horse! I keep my individual price purchases within reason, but am definately buying too many things, which is going to hurt when the bills come in. Again, another sign of my compulsive behavior.
Most of my friends are couples, and they seem reluctant to continue to include me in couple-type events or what to say to me. What should I do to try and meet more singles, so I have friends to hang with during the lonely times?
8/4/04 -- Down to 177 pounds (total loss of 159# to date) as of today. Leaving tomorrow to fly to
I'm getting a bit more agressive in trying to put myself "out there" - I so don't want to be spending so much time alone. That's when I munch out of control and feel sorry for myself. Want to meet new people, want to date again, not so much for a relationship, but for fun, to keep busy. At my age, how do I do that? Just pondering the mysteries of life!!!!
8/9/04 -- Saturday turned out to be a good day. Our goal was to sprinkle the last of Chuck's ashes at sea. My friends Dale and Amy graciously offered the use of their 35 foot boat. We left
We then turned around and boated to
8/20/04 -- Still playing with the same three damn pounds -- go down to 175.5 and back up to 178 and down to 176 and up to 177 and on and on and on.
On another topic, yesterday they held an evacuation drill at my office building and I had to walk down from the 36th floor to the Concourse level (72 flights of stairs)! Well, not only did I make it in only ten minutes, but it proved to be no problem at all. I certainly couldn't have done that a year ago! Following the down the stairs trip, I walked another mile to PA to catch the bus to go home, then did a workout at Curves. Expected to be a bit sore this morning, but nothing! Like I had done nothing different or special. Wow - is this what it feels like to be normal?
8/26/04 -- I feel like I am whining and feeling sorry for myself today, but I am! I have been playing with the same three pounds up and down now for 5-6 weeks -- not a true plateau I know, but still frustrating just the same.
Also, feeling sorry for myself on the death of my DH - normal too, I know. Friday night I went to a club with my brother and sister-in-law and some of their friends - not people I usually hang with, but they were trying to "fill up my night." Well, I didn't realize that the band (which was very good) would only play 50's music -- something I usually like, but also something that my husband would have loved. We were the type that would be the first to hit the dance floor and the last to leave! In any case, watching all the couples dancing made me feel even more alone than I would have being home by myself, and I just lost it! Couldn't stop crying, got embarrassed - not one of my prouder moments!
Although this is only a week later, I found that I have been very bitter this week, add to that my frustrations with the weight and the fact that I have been unsuccessful in upping my exercise and reducing my calories (eating upwards of 1500 a day). I decided I needed a kick in the a$$ from my AMOS buddies -- give me some words of wisdom so I can refocus. Please?
9/5/04 -- I have been working so hard this past week to stay on track -- couple of slip-ups, but a good effort. I guess it paid off -- yesterday I got on the scale and saw 169.50!!!! Yeah - I broke 170, another mini-goal passed....Today I get to pack for my three-day trip to
9/13/04 -- FLASH NEWS!!!!! Well -- I have lost exactly half of my starting weight -- I have now lost 168 pounds and weigh 168 pounds. When I started this journey, I would have been satisfied getting down to 200, much less breaking it -- I feel awesome.
As hard as it has been, it has also been much easier than I expected it to be. So - to get to a weight of 150 is the next goal I hope to reach by the end of the year, and then plastics next year (saving my pennies!).
Thank you all my AMOS and WLS buddies (you know who you are!) - your support throughout this ride had helped me more than you can ever know!
9/20/04 -- Well, I have made a decision. I will be pursuing having plastic surgery with Dr. Capella in
Also, as of yesterday, I was 165 -- only 15 more pounds to my personal goal of 150 (my docs goal is 155).
9/21/04 -- Weighed 163 this morning - 2 pounds in 2 days! Wow, that is like the beginning -- can I be going thru a new "wave" of weight loss? Won't that be great -- Perhaps I can get to goal faster than I thought....
10/16/04 -- It is my 16 month anniversary. Weight loss has significantly slowed down and I often find that during any given month, I can go up and down as much as 5 pounds or more. Feel "normal" though - whatever that means.
10/20/04 -- I've had several dates in the last month. All "nice" guys-have gone out three or four times with each before I "move" on. With the exception of one, nobody that interests me enough to pursue. And, of course, the one I was interested in wasn't interested in me enough. Some things never change.
10/25/04 -- Met two new guys this weekend on "blind" dates. One interests me. However, he seems to have a weight phobia though - I didn't tell him about my WLS, but if I see him again, I definately will. Don't want to get interested if he can't handle it. After all, I may be smaller, but I'm still the same person I have always been!
11/8/04 -- Just returned from the OH DC get together. While the seminar itself was very disappointing, the opportunity to meet many people from the site, some of whom have been very supportive of me over the past year, was absolutely incredible! Old acquaintances renewed with Tony T and Tony G who I met in NY earlier this year. I also got to meet Monica, Val, Betty, Wendy, Charlie C, Suzie, Lynda M and Track who I've corresponded with in the past. Met some new people from one of the other OH special "community" boards, Gina, Kari, David, Rick, Di Nore, Kim and Leigh Ann. Went out Sat nite to a gay club and saw a "drag" show with Di Nore and Lynda M -- what a hoot!
11/21/04 -- Today is my birthday and I'm "younger" and skinnier than I have been in years and it feels soooo good! It has been a great birthday weekend so far - spent Friday with a couple of friends in
12/1/04 -- I can't believe it is December already, and my 18-month "WLS honeymoon" is only two weeks away. I am still 9 pounds from my personal goal of 150 and 4 pounds from my Dr's goal of 155, and though I wish I were already at goal, all-in-all I am totally satisfied with my progress. I have lost a total of 177 pounds and 121 inches since June 2003! Incredible - I never would have believed it possible!
I am currently scheduled for a lower body lift with Dr. Joseph Capella for 1/24/05, and am also planning on pursuing a face lift, breast lift w/augmentation, brachiaplasty and medial thigh lift -- all of which I hope to get done during 2005. I probably won't use Cappella for all of those procedures simply because of the distance from my home to his office, but I do think he is the best PS to use for the LBL due to his experience with bariatric patients.
On a personal note, although I still miss Chuck, I started dating a couple of months ago and have met some nice guys. One, in particular, I have kept seeing and am currently pursuing a relationship with. It seems to be going well, but I am trying to take it one-day-at-a-time. He has been honest in the fact that my excess skin turns him off, but has been supportive of me in general and my plans for plastic surgery. I have told him that I am "a work in progress" and "worth the wait." We'll see. In the meantime, I'm having fun!
12/11/04 -- Had my 18 month check-up with my surgeon yesterday and she was very pleased with my progress - wants me to up my B-12 and protein a bit, but everything is within normal ranges on my bloodwork. I am now at 156 and although still a very short way from my "goal" - I have lost a total of 180 pounds in 18 months! She thinks that because I have never seriously plateaued for a very long time to date, that I may have another 6 months of losing small amounts of weight ahead of me. It would be nice if she were right, but even if I never lost another ounce, I would be satisfied!
12/17/04 -- Met with Dr Rosen today to book surgery for breast lift/augementation and brachioplasy for April 2005. Also discussed the possibility of doing eyes and face/neck lift in the time between my LBL with Dr Capella in January and the breast lift in April. He is willing to do it, but wants to break up the procedures into two separate ones to minimze the amount of time I am under anethesia and so that the procedures can be done in his office, rather than the hospital. I am willing and am waiting to hear back from his nurse to see how I can schedule this and what the actual prices will be. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this all falls within the price range that I have managed to save up for PS. I'm still waiting to hear back from
12/20/04 -- Just back from a wondeful weekend in the Poconos (cabin w/fireplace on a lake) with my boyfriend (that sounds so weird at my age). We hadn't had the opportunity before this to spend so much uninterrupted time together and it was great. I really feel like we got much closer and are on the same page. I'm looking forward to our next "road trip."
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About Me
Toms River, NJ
Location
30.7
BMI
Surgery
08/15/2011
Surgery Date
Apr 16, 2003
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
June 2003
340lbs
January 2006
160lbs
