ndspelman
MY STORY is pretty much the same as in my first post. But i didnt give a reason why. My husband and I, in my opinion, are the greatest things since sliced bread! We are funny, fun, hard working, loving, and cute as hell. And we dont have any children. I stopped taking birth control pills the day after our wedding 1/17/2004. Throughout the next 2 years i would be on many cycles of chlomid, provera, injections, probings, ovulation strips, waking up for a year taking my temperature, only to find out i wasnt ovulating, yadda yadda. I would also suffer the endless periods, uncontrollable bleeding, hysteroscopy d&c's, everything. On top of all that, I would spend thousands of dollars and many negative pregnancy test strips later, only to still not be able to get pregnant. Then I started seeing dr. sweet. Fertility specialist to the stars. After the continuation of being poked and prodded he tells me flat out: You are too big. "I will take you as you come if you want and I will make sure you get pregnant, but i can guarantee that you will not carry the child to full term, probably have a miscarriage, and will definitely have complications and gestational diabetes..." all these things he said to me while i think i am the flyest thing out after losing 30lbs on my latest diet of 4x week exercise and the curves diet. Im looking at him with a frog in my throat and i couldnt say anything. Then he said the other 2 sentences to me that took me through it: You have pre-diabetes and PCOS. and if you lost the weight, all would vanish if not subside considerably. hello! So after my fight with depression and feeling less than, I told my husband he could stop standing me on my head during relations b/c there is nothing else that could be done at this point that would get me pregnant, but to lose weight. I was 330lbs then ......that was 36 lbs ago.
So you can imagine, this is not only about me. Its about the future of my unborn children and what we believe we can offer as parents. I cant offer nothing if im dead, too fat to enjoy it, or miserable. I'm doing this for my lifestyle and my future family. bottom line. I enjoy traveling to no end. It is my favorite. I love jetsetting to somewhere for no reason for the weekend. Love it. But i dont like saying "can you hand me a seatbelt extender." or "what is the price upgrade for 1st class." after i misjudged my size, once again, and bought coach only to realize I cant fit in coach. then all of my friends are skinnier than me. I think my largest friend is a 22. But there is no inbetween that. The next size down is a 12. I'm over being the big friend. and (whispering very very low) Im cuter than most of them, but b/c i am bigger......well you know. The attention is lacking. I know I know, im married, but im not blind, and i'm not invisible!.....So thats it. thats me. I've been approved by my insurance. My surgery is 11/19 at the University of Miami Hospital. pretty much everyone knows, except...and it is what is is. HOLLABACK!
