neekyj

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Hey, hey, hey.......Just wanted to touch basis, I guess I'm making this a yearly check-in, lol. Once again I am still living and loving life! I am maintaining my weight around 150ish and even though that's not my ideal weight, according to the AMA, I am so loving and enjoying my transformation and journey that was a long time coming! I have no health issues anymore, however I still struggle with the exercise thingy, lol.  Otherwise all is good! I just celebrated my 42nd Birthday and had a blast! I will post some pictures soon....

On the homefront, although bittersweet my marriage did not make it. I say bittersweet because although it was inevitible, I still shared almost half of my life with him. There were alot of things that happened in the years before my weightloss (which probably attributed to my weight gain) and some afterwards, so it was not any one thing in particular it was just enough and time to stop holding on for all the wrong reasons - the children. They are much happier, I am much, much happier, but my ex struggles with it and I only hope and pray that he accept it so that we can move on and be better parents for our children. The reason that I am even sharing this is because I have heard stories of broken marriages because of the surgery and have also been accused of this. What people fail to realize is that just because someone loses weight and feel good about themselves again doesn't mean that they change on the inside, at least not in my case. I am the same person I was before the weight gain, before the marriage and all. There were several counseling tries before the weighloss and after the weighloss those same issues (not with me mind you) were still there and after even MORE counseling they still deteriorated. I gave it 20 years and I refused to waste anymore time on somthing that was only tearing myself and my children down. Life is so good when you have peace of mind and I have finally found that!

Now my mother on the other hand, Lord bless her, she still fusses about some things but they aren't as negative...Like "Your clothes are too tight" is probably the worst I get now, lol. But all in all I still wouldn't do anything differently only sooner. Like they say LIVE...LAUGH...LOVE! That's the key to life and now that I have me again I am embrassing every moment. This surgery has truely giving me my life and sense of self back.....I wish you all the same!

Hey OH Family,

I know it has been a long time since I last posted............but here I am now! In the past year or so since I've last posted a few wonderful things and not so wonderful things have happened in my life. I choose to dwell on the positive though, so here goes.

I am 4 years post-op (Jan '07) still maintaining the 150'ish weight (I started out at 272lbs), all of my nutrient levels, cholesterol, etc are great and I have so much energy! I turned 40 last August and I must say I celebrated all year long! I found a new love for Karaoke and It has afforded me my 'Me-Time' escape! I am enjoying my life while still handling family and friends. My children are wonderful and they love that I am enjoying life and not sitting around in depression, (Maybe it's just that they are teenagers now and really don't want to be bothered with mom! LOL!).  But all is well.

Another exciting thing that happened to me since I last posted is that I had my tummy tuck (Dec '09)! Woooo-whooo! I am so happy with my results. I would post some pics but I'm not sure if they can be published.  Anyway I have posted some other new pics, with more to come so check them out! 
 
This surgery has really changed my life and I would recommend to anyone who is having health issues with no other alternatives....It is truely lifechanging for the better!

Hey OH Fam,

Just wanted to do a quick update.............I still feel wonderful except for a bad haircut, but GOD is still good to me! I have 17lbs to go to reach my goal but I think I have plateaued and I am okay with that. I've realized through this journey that what the world says is 'IDEAL' is not necessarily 'IDEAL' for me. My Ideal weight for my height , according to the American Medical Society, is 132lbs. I weigh 152lbs at 5'4" and that's okay with me. If I don't lose another pound I'm still healthy, radiant, full of life and living it to the fullest as much as possible. To me that's 'IDEAL'.

My BMI is within normal range, my nutrient levels are all good, my Cholesterol, my thyroid, my glucose, etc. are all 'IDEAL', so why isn't my weight? I'm not going to worry myself with these last few pounds because the AMA says that I should. If they fall off they fall off. I know that I am not exercising like I should so maybe that will be the nodge that I need to reach my personal goal. But that won't be why I'm doing it. I know that to maintain my weight and to have a healthy lifestyle I need to eat right and regularly exercise and I am still working on that because I am a procrastanator. However, I'm doing it because I want to be around for a long time, not because that's the ideal thing to do.

I don't know where this came from this morning but I needed to get this out. Maybe it will help someone who is struggling with 'IDEOLOGY'....................did I just make up a new word? LOL!!!!!!!!!! Peace and much continued success to you all!

Hello Everyone!

It is the anniversary of my rebirth today and I am so happy with how far I have come!  I know it has been a long time since I have posted and my last few posts weren't that positive however things have changed for the best.

First some words of encouragement for those of you who may not have started or are just starting your journey..........It is worth all the blood, sweat and tears that you may experience during your transformation. No matter what negativity people may emit just keep your eyes on the prize ahead because trust me there will be obstacles but nothing that you can't endure in the long haul. You will face the naysayers, haters, pretenders and some worst. But please don't feel bad or embarrassed about your decision to LIVE.

I am 2 years old today and I am almost half the person on the outside that I used to be. I'm still loving and living life!!!!!!!!
I've gone from 272 lbs down to 152 lbs. I feel like I did at 21 yrs old and I have the energy I used to have when my kids were babies. Sometimes I don't even know how I do it. My Thyroid, Cholesterol, Glucose, etc. are in the normal ranges again. I thank GOD everyday for allowing me to be healthy, happy and able to be here for my boys and all that their futures may hold. There is one thing that I will be committing myself to this year that I haven't done in the past and that's exercise routinely. It's easy for the weight to fall off but I have to do my part too to maintain this gift. This is a New Year's resolution that I will work hard on. Trust me it will be a challenge for me because I haven't done so in probably 20 or so years.

On a personal note my mother has gotten so much better with her comments and she is actually happy with my outcome now and brags just as much about me as she used to. My husband however is still struggling but I know that he will come around. I don't think it is the weight loss I think it is more that I've rediscovered my sense of independence and my outgoing personality is in full gear. My self esteem has returned and I'm not letting it go anymore. But enough of that, I just wanted to update everyone and hopefully encourage others to stay focused. I wish a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous '2009' for everyone and I will be posting some photos from the Holidays soon so keep checking on me!!!!  Peace and Love........Denita!

Here I am again 'PMSing'. I don't know if it's just falling like this or if I just feel like releasing when it's my time of the month. Who knows.? Even though I was going to post today thanks to my best friend I had a little nodging to get me going because I haven't posted in a while.

Health wise I and doing really well. my BMI is @ 28, all of my bloodwork came back normal at my last Doc.'s visit and in general I am really feeling good. I am so happy with my results and I recommend this procedure to everyone who is struggling with health and weight issues. As a matter of fact a few weeks ago I got into a discussion with some friends regarding the Lap-Band procedure vs. Gastric By-pass. It is so sad how some people are really misguided about these surgries and just won't listen to people who have actually gone through it! Oh well! Fortunately my best friend has done her research and she knows what all is involved so that she can make an informed decision for herself. So I'm happy to be her Angel/OH buddy when she makes up her mind for sure.

On another note I've gotten to a point where I am considering plastic surgery. My Doc wants me to wait another 6 months, which I was thinking along the lines of Christmas time anyway. But I'm just perplexed about going through surgery again. My husband doesn't complain and I look okay with clothes on but I want to do something about certain areas of my body. It took me 3 years to research and get up the nerves for the GBP I hope that It doesn't take me that long to decide on plastics.  If anyone has any thoughts about this please hit me up.

Just because I want to talk ............. my social club is having our 'Coming Out Party' this weekend. We struggled a little about our attire. To tell the truth I was a little unhappy with our final decision but I was going to make it work. Well last night I tried on my outfit and I don't know why I was scared about it but I looked really nice in it (of course my husband was tripping about me showing some cleavage, but he'll be alright). Sometimes I go back into 'Big Girl' mode and I feel so huge. I looked on my tags and for some reason it hit me that I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10! THANK-YOU JESUS!!!!!!!! I knew that I was down to a size 10 but for some reason I didn't really see it until last night. I am going to strut my stuff like I never have before at the party. Though I have caught myself in the mirror saying that I am fat. I don't want to get that complex so I am working on that. I know people who have had the surgery and are always wanting to be thinner and thinner. So I just reflect on them and I see how crazy they sound and I check myself. Well that's all for now I will post new pictures as soon as I can. Christy I hope you are happy now!!!!  LUV YOU!!!!!

Hi everyone,

I am trying to post monthly with my progress. I haven't been doing too good with that in the past but I am trying. 

I have only lost a couple of pounds since my last post but I guess every little bit helps. I guess it is time for me to slow down anyways it's been a year but since my weight loss wasn't  as dramatic as others I thought that it would take longer before I plateaued.  Oh well I guess that's how the cookie crumbles. I have a goal of 34 more pounds to lose, hopefully it won't be the hardest. I think because it's my time of the month I may be a little gloomy, so I will stop complaining. 

Good news on the home front my husband and I are in  a better place with our relationship. He wants me to slow down some with my friends and stuff so we have come to a little compromise. I am not sacraficing my wants for him though and he knows that I still have control over me and not him., but marriage is about giving a little and taking a little I just have to learn to not give more of me to where I loss self again. I think I can handle that. Although I don't know if I can do that with the boys. I find myself trying to give and do everything for them and I really don't want to change that part of me. I was very busy this weekend and I was complianing about all the things that I had to do and my baby boy asked me to not forget his alone time with me. I had to go to my room before I cried because I didn't know if I he felt neglected or if he thought that I was just too busy for him.  When we had a our alone time on Sunday we talked and he said that he just wanted to make sure he was on my list because he missed our last time because he was with my brother and he didn't want to miss it again. It's the little things like that that make me cherish being a mom because I know in a couple of years he will probably care less about our alone time because he'll want to spend that time with his friends.  

I'm still figuring out how to approach my mom though this is very hard for me to do. I almost lost it yesterday when she commented once again on my appearrance. The first thing out of her mouth wasn't oh your hair looks nice or anything like that it was "About time you did something with your hair, I was getting tired of that same old ponytail it made you look awful." Maybe I'm overreacting but its just discouraging that I can't get her to see anything positive in me anymore. I just don't know. I'll just continue to stay away for now.  See you next month!

I just celebrated my one year NEW BIRTHDAY on yesterday! I am so happy with my results and I have never felt better. I am down just over 100lbs! I have no health issues and life is going well.

My celebration has however been bittersweet. The only problem that I am having though has nothing to do with the surgery. It is the people that are closest to me. If I may vent for a bit.........My husband is really having a hard time with the new me. I don't understand because I am only doing and enjoying the things that he constantly prodded me to do before the weight loss. Like "get out and make some friends", "go out with your friends", "hang out with them and not me and my friends". Now that I am doing doing that he doesn't like it and now he is as clingy as he often accused me of being. I'm trying really hard to live as I've always done with the exception of getting out more and enjoying life outside of his world. I'm still doing everything I've always done at home, with the children and him. I've also joined a gym, a social organization (that I am the vp of), I'm more confidant at work and in general I'm just more active with my friends, family and community. I'm really enjoying me now! I am just as active and busy as I was during the first few years of our marriage so it is not like this is a totally new me, it's just the old Denita revisited and if GOD is willing she AIN'T leaving this time!

Now my mother......She is really the one who woke me up to my weight problem. I knew I was overweight but I never looked at myself as being morbidly obese. She stayed on me for about 2 years straight about having the surgery. And now that I've gotten it she has nothing but negative things to say about the way that I look. I only get positive comments from everyone that I meet that knew me before the weight gain and before the weight loss. Only positive. But my mother for some reason only see that I look tired all the time (i'm usually just getting off work), that I'm not standing straight like I weak, Something just doesn't look right about me to her. My beautician often comments on how healthy my hair and skin look compared to other clients and people that she know that had the surgery. Even people I meet for the first time say that if I had not told them they would have never known because I look so healthy. Since my recovery she has not said once that I look nice, even over the holidays when I know I looked my best. I just don't understand. The two people that I care for the most and that stood by me when I needed them the most are hurting me right now in more ways than anyone can imagine. I expected this from friends and others but not them.

I don't know if anyone else is having these same issues but it would really feel good to talk to someone about it. Overall I would still go through the surgery again and agian because I am a better and healthier person now. Thanks for allowing me to vent.

It has been almost 10 months and 93 lbs later since my surgery. Things have really been going good. I just checked my BMI last week and it has gone down to 30.2, my thyroid is now normal, my cholesterol has lowered considerably, my cycle has returned to normal and I have my social life back. I'm in a size that I was in when I was in college. GOD is good!!!!!!!!!!!

The down side is that I've lost some people who I thought were really close friends but I guess they were not friends in the first place. My husband was having some problems but we are working on that. Overall I am happy with my results so far. I know that I am only half way through but if I don't lose another pound I am in a better place than I was a year ago. I feel great and I am once again healthy!     

Well I've made it through.  It is six weeks later, I am back to work and doing great.  Initally I had a few minor problems and had to go back into the hospital, but it's all good now.  It was worth it and I'd do it again.

I have lost a total of 26.5 pounds since my last weigh-in 2/14/07(and that's without any type of exercise).  My husbasnd and I are joining a gym this week so I know even more pounds will fall off then.  I will try and update weekly.  Thanks for the support and prayers of everyone.

Hi everyone,

I am so excited yet terrified!!  How can that be?  My surgery is in just a few days (Jan. 8, 2007).  I have so many mixed emotions, but it is too late to turn back now. My family is very supportive and I know I will do well because I have a wonderful surgeon.  However, there is always the unknown.  About a week ago I was so certain.  I hope these last minute jitters subside soon.  But I am so, so, so excited.  Any last minute calming suggestions will be welcomed.  Anyway, see you on the losing side!!!