Karlie B.
I am in the very beginning of my WLS process. I have been on optifast for almost a year without successful results. I am only 19 but have been contemplating WLS for 2 years. I have been overweight/obese for 5 years now.
9/6/05
Well, I meet with Dr. Ray, the positive choice (WLS clinic) on September 26th. I am confident that he will approve me for surgery but there is always that thought of, "what if he says I'm not a good candidate." I am going to try my best to opt out of the classes that are required for 6 months before you are even approved. I think the classes are great for people who are going into WLS without any knowledge of its risks, but I am fully aware. I have read, listened, studied and memorized so much information on WLS that is it very hard for me to think I would need to know anything else. After all, one of my best friends has gastric bypass one week ago and I was with her in the hospital and when she was at home helping her recover. It's my hope that I can just get this show on the road and start my life.
9/20/05
Well I just got home from my appointment with Dr. Ray. My appointment was moved up, which was nice of them. Dr. Ray has now qualified me for bariatric surgery and there is no way to get out of the 6 months of classes. Oh well.... I guess a few more months isn't going to change anything. Dr. Ray didn't really have any answers for me. Like when do the classes start? When and how do I get approved from kaiser? When should I start making appointments for my psych eval, sleep study, blood tests, etc.???? I am now awaiting a call from another physician from kaiser. So, hopefully that will happen in the next few days. Ughh.... I'm so frustrated!!!
9/29/05
I have great news! I start my 24 weeks of WLS classes on October 5th! Less then 1 week away. I am currently a little sick. I am starting to feel better and I would like to thank time cough medicine! I haven't been able to sleep but I did last night after taking that. I will write after my 1st class! I see an end in sight!
10/6/05
Well, I had my first Bariatric Class last night at Positive choice. I am excited to begin my long journey but at the same time the other people in the class really haven't decided if they want the surgery yet and I have been decided for a while. I have educated myself on the surgery and watched my friend go through it. I feel like it is a waste of time but I don't have a choice, I either go through the classes or I don't have surgery. I am happy to finally be starting my new... smaller life. =)
12/29/05
Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. I am exactly half way through the journey of Positive Choice's "Options" program. Only 3 months!! I just realized I could be having surgery by May 2006. I haven't committed myself to the "Program" of having shakes but as my New Years Resolution, I will be doing the partial fast. I have promised myself to do it right this time. After all, I have to lose 25 pounds before surgery. My friend Hollie is doing great. She is losing by the minute and I look up to her for inspiration and motivation. I know one day I will be healthy and most important, happy. My last class of Positive Choice is March 29th, I can't wait to get this show on the road.
2/17/06
Well, I guess Happy New Year is in order. My 20th Birthday was on the 14th of this month and it was awesome. My and a few friends went to Lips and it was a blast! I am losing some weight, slowly but surely. Surgery is sooooo close, yet so far away! I am still hopeful that my surgery will be in May of this year. The options class at positive choice has been okay but a little bit of a waste of time. I am beginning to understand how Kaiser works and that it is necessary to jump through their hoops in order to get the results that you want. The one thing I am not going to do is buy and more product. It is ridiculous that you have to be on product before you have surgery. No other insurance has that rule and the death rate is the same whether you are on product or not. Anyway, I guess frustration and impatience has set in. Cross your fingers that everything else is smooth sailing ahead!
4/13/06:
Wow, I can't believe how much has gone on in the past 2 months since I have done an update. Well..... I had my final "options class" on March 29th, went to see Dr. Ray to make sure I was good to go for surgery on April 12th, found out last night that I was approved, found out tonight that I have my exercise test tomorrow at 9:30am. After my exercise test I get my blood work done and then I am referred to Pacific Bariatrics!!!!!!! I am usually the most impatient person in the world but with working so much (I am on my 7th day) and keeping busy it has gone by so fast. I am praying that the next update is saying that I have a surgery date. It is hard to believe I started my WLS journey 7 months ago and have come so far. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. More good news is yet to come.
4/25/06
Today I had my gallbladder/abdominal ultrasound. Everything looks good except she said my liver was fatty and my spleen was enlarged. I don't know if that will affect my surgery or not. I had of my blood tests done and the ultrasound was the last thing I had to do before Dr. Ray will sign off on my chart. The chart is then sent to San Diego Kaiser and they will send me a letter of approval and with that I go to Pacific Bariatrics where I will begin my new life. I wake up every morning not believing that I am almost there. I have almost succeeded at something I put my mind to. I am losing weight even though I am not exercising or eating right. I have just been stressed so I don't feel hungry a lot of the time. I am now just awaiting a letter or a phone call letting me know I have been approved. I will write again on that day! Hopefully sooner than later!
5/4/06:
So... It is sooner than later! I got my approval phone call today! I am so happy right now. I am officially FREE from Kaiser, now I just need to schedule an appointment with the Surgeon, Internist, and Psychologist. What's nice is that they are all in the same day so I won't have to wait more then a week to get an appointment. Then a couple days after that I get a surgery date. I can't believe how fast this is moving. I will have this surgery before the end of May!!! My friend Trish, who I met in the Options class, has had her appointments and we will be back at the same place. Hopefully we can be roomies, that would be so cool. I will update when I have a date for my appointments.
5/13/06:
I went and met with the internist, Dr. Kingsbury, the Psychologist, Dr. Margolis, and the surgeon, Dr. Zorn last Tuesday. I will get a surgery date on Monday!!!!!! My friend Trish got her surgery date on Friday..... She will be going in on Friday the 19th! I am so happy for her but soooo jealous. Hopefully I will get a date in the month of May, that is my only wish. I just want to get it over with. I can't wait until Monday!!!!!! I will write again when I have my date. Things seem to be moving right along.
5/17/06:
GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!! I got a date! May 30th, 2006 will be the beginning of my new.. smaller life. I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself. I just keep thinking of everything that I need to get done before I can feel okay being out of work for 3 weeks. Trish has her surgery on Friday and I will be going up to Scripps to see her on Saturday. I can't believe I am 13 days away from surgery. It's really happening! I will write after I get more information on my pre-op.
5/27/06:
WOW this week has just flew by! I am less than 3 days away from surgery. My friend Trish is 8 days post-op and doing well. I am more excited then I have been . I just got back from my "last supper" at the Olive Garden. I have my inspiration spiramitor that I have done a few times today, they want you to use it so your lungs are as healthy as can be. I know how important they are to your recovery. I have one big concern about after surgery and that is the exercise. I just can't seem to get myself motivated. I think I am just plain LAZY. Hopefully I will find some motivation after surgery. I will write again the morning of surgery.
6/4/06
Ok... it's all over. Or maybe it has just began. I had surgery one 5/30/06 and was discharged from the hospital yesterday. I have been feeling okay but I kinda feel like I have the flu, even though I don't. I am on clear liquids until I go see Dr. Zorn on Thursday or Friday. I did go walking today which felt really good. I just hope this flu feeling goes away soon.
9/17/06
I can't believe how long it's been. Almost 4 months! I am now at 195 and feeling great! I am in a size 16/18 and everything seems to be shrinking. I have a personal trainer who has been a god sent. She kicks my ass but it's motivated me to get to the gym and really work out. I owe her big time!! I guess it has been a while since I've written. I ended up back in the hospital for dehydration and was there for 5 days. It was horrible to say the least. I am doing better now and that is the only thing that counts.
1/22/07
WOW!! I can't believe it's been almost 8 months since surgery!! I am doing great. I currently weigh about 145 and am in a size 8! I never thought this day would come. I am 10 pounds away from my goal. Re-reading the previous posts bring tears to my eyes. It has been a long road but well worth it! I have an appointment with my PCP on February 15th, the day after my 21st birthday, to get a referral for Plastic Surgery. I will need a tummy tuck aka apron removal and a breast lift. My arms/wings seem to be tightening up. If I could give one single piece of advice to someone contemplating surgery I would say DO IT but exercise is a MUST!!! I was not one to exercise before but I now love it. Mostly thanks to my personal trainer! She is the best... a true angel. I wouldn't be where I am without her! My family and friends have all been so supportive and I can't thank them enough. Well... I will check in soon.
3/21/07
It's now been almost 10 months since surgery and I am at 140 pounds, only 5 more pounds (and I will lose at lease that from plastic surgery). I will be having my breast augmentation with silicone gel implants and an abdominoplasy on May 4th by Dr. Pousti in La Mesa. Kaiser wouldn't cover it so I will be paying for it. The total for everything is $17,300.00 (I know some people would be interested in knowing how much it is) I will be paying the loan off for the next 4 years but it is worth it. It's so funny how I still feel like the "fat girl" I wonder if that will ever go away? I have to remind myself that I look "normal" and people don't stare at me because I'm so fat anymore. I am still working out with my trainer and she is the biggest motivation and inspiration I could ever ask for. Without her I wouldn't be at the gym at all. I'm not going to lie, I am terrified of having another surgical procedure. Especially since I will be getting implants put it. It really freaks me out to put something into my body but I really don't have a choice. Right now I feel like a freak with the skin and abnormalities of my once obese body. I didn't think I would need ANY plastic surgery but I guess going from 265 to 140 and from a 42DDD to a 34C takes a drastic toll on your body. I can't wait until I can put this hell of being overweight behind me. I will be forever grateful for the life saving surgery and support from my family and friends. May 4th is truly the end of a very difficult phase of my life. And May 30th is my new "birthday" or my 1 year anniversary since my gastric bypass. Believe me I WILL be celebrating. It's true, everything happens for a reason and whatever doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I am a stronger, more accepting person since going through the biggest change of my life. I will update again soon.
5/3/07
Surgery is tomorrow! I can't believe it. I am having a mix of emotions. The majority of them are of anxiety, fear, and exhaustion. It's a hard pill to swallow that I will no longer have any memory of being obese except for the scars that I truly don't mind and the horrible pictures I look at for a sense of accomplishment. I have a lot of support an keep trying to tell myself everything will be fine. My Mom, also my best friend and biggest supporter has always been by my side. She is my inspiration and motivation for everything I do. I know it will be fine but it's hard to accept the unknown. I was with my friend Hollie last night. We went to the Padre game, they won by the way. Anyway, I was expressing how terrified I was and she asked my what I was afraid of. I didn't say anything. I really don't know what I'm afraid of. Am I afraid of not having an excuse of being fat? I know I use my weight and my deformed body to not get close to anyone but after plastic/reconstructive surgery that excuse will be gone. I am so unhappy with my body, even embarrassed that I won't allow myself to consider a relationship because of it. I know this surgery is necessary to start my life as a normal 21 year old and to develop healthy relationships and move forward with life and to detach from the ones that are keeping idle. I WILL post again on Sunday after I get home from the recovery center. A new, healthier, happier (if that's possible, I'm already so happy) person.
5/18/07
So I'm not 2 weeks post op from and extended tummy tuck, breast lift and breast augmentation. I am amazed at the results... they removed 7 pounds of skin and I have 550cc silicone gel implants. I don't remember the last time I had a cute tummy and my boobs.... well, they are amazing. I can't thank my plastic surgeon enough! I got my 2 drains, steri-strips, and staples out today and I feel so much better! I'm still swollen and can't stand up straight but I will be 100% in a few weeks. I'm now looking forward to starting my life as a "normal" 21 year old in beautiful San Diego! I want to go to the beach without being embarrassed, I want to date, I want to have experiences without my weight coming in between it.
5/30/07 - ONE YEAR POST OP!
I have always been fascinated with butterflies, but until now I never really understood why:
It’s been one year today that I had Gastric Bypass Surgery at Scripps Mercy Hospital in San Diego, California. On this day last year I was determined to undergo this life saving surgery and succeed at it. I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it took to get my life back. I was 20 years old, a full time college student and working full time but knew I had to put my life on hold to rescue my body from a future that was sure to be destructive. I was a habitual binge eater, unhappy, and unhealthy. I had high blood pressure, severe sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high blood sugar, joint pain, an enlarged and fatty liver, lose of a menstrual period. My weight was at an all time high of 265 pounds and my body mass index (BMI) was 45.4 that is considered extremely obese.
I attribute a lot of my weight gain to the negative affects I had after open-heart surgery in 1999. Before that I played softball, soccer, and did gymnastics. After the heart surgery I found myself unhappy because I was unable to do the things I loved and found comfort in food. It took away the feelings of fear that something had been wrong with my heart. After I figured out it could comfort me through fear it became a friend and then eventually an addiction. I used food to suppress feelings I wasn’t able to identify. At an age where appearance was everything, I was also embarrassed of the scare I had down the middle of my chest from surgery. I did everything I could to conceal the scare physically. I concealed it mentally with food. After a year of depending on my new “friend” to be there for me through all my emotions, I realized the damage it had done. I had gained a significant amount of weight in a very short time. By that time the addiction was dominating my life, without it I didn’t know how to adequately deal with my emotions, I had a serious problem that I didn’t know how to control.
My first effort at weight loss was the Optifast program at Kaiser when I was 14. I was restricted to consuming 5 protein shakes per day in order to lose weight. The Optifast program, like any other program, only works if you are committed to it. As many times as I attempted the program, I never committed myself to it or any other diet. I gave some effort but after failing several times at numerous diets and thousands of dollars later, I ultimately gave up. The feeling of failure was becoming too much to deal with and would find comfort in the familiar food again. It is truly a vicious cycle: I ate because I was unhappy, and I was unhappy because I ate. My parents supported me through every weight loss program and diet I tried. They never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I don’t know if I could ever thank them enough for the constant encouragement, support and love. They did everything to aid in my efforts at losing the weight but it was ultimately up to me to commit myself and I could never do that. It was difficult for me to accept failure, as I had never really failed at anything before I gained the weight. After 4 years of watching my weight rapidly increase, dealing with several conditions from the weight that require medication and my quality of life decreasing I knew that surgery was my last resort in order to live a “normal” life. By the time I educated myself on the surgery and realized it was a real option for me I was 18 and had already missed out on several experiences that a normal teenager has. The one I regret the most is not going to my prom. I owed it to myself to lose the weight to make sure I didn’t have to live with anymore regrets.
It took me over a year to get the approval for the surgery. In 6 months I completed the “Options” class which is required by Kaiser in order to be considered for surgery. I also had the required documented proof of attempting a weight loss program for 6 months from trying the Optifast program at Kaiser. When I was first informed of the classes I was extremely frustrated because I assumed it was going to be a typical “support group” where they will try to convince you not to have the surgery and I had already made up my mind to go through with it. After a few weeks I realized how crucial the classes were. I learned more in the class in 6 months then I did doing my own research for 2 years. I believe these classes should be required by all insurance companies, there are so many patients that go into surgery unprepared and not completely informed as to the life they will have after surgery. Gastric bypass is a life changing surgery that can save lives if used correctly. It is a tool that you have to understand how to accurately utilize or the consequences could negatively affect your health and eventually cause death. I feel very fortunate that I was able to gain all the information I needed in order to succeed after surgery.
On May 30, 2006 I underwent Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery performed by Dr. George Zorn I was in the hospital for 7 days and then discharged home, my Mom and Dad were by my side the entire time. I was excited, scared and anxious to start my new life. I was doing great at home but was having trouble getting in an adequate amount of fluid. Only 2 weeks after coming home I found myself back in the hospital for 7 days, hooked up to IV’s to re-hydrate me. Throughout the entire stay I never once gave up. I was determined to succeed no matter what obstacles I had to go through. After learning how to eat and making sure I was getting enough fluid I was surprised at how fast the weight seemed to be melting off. At 2 months post op I hit a plateau, which is very typical of a gastric bypass patient. I looked at the plateau as an obstacle and knew I had to do something to make sure it didn’t discourage me. I was doing everything right except the exercise part. I realize now that exercise is the MOST important component after Gastric Bypass. After discussing it with my parents we all agreed a personal trainer would be a good option. My Dad and I met with a Lance, the sales manager at 24-hour fitness and I signed up for 20 sessions with a personal trainer. I met my trainer, Lisa, we set up my first session and I was given an outline of the personal training program. I was terrified during my first training session with Lisa; I had a membership for years but only used it a couple times. Now I would be at the gym 5 days a week, 2 days with Lisa and the other 3 for cardio. The gym was intimidating and I felt self-conscious but I knew it was necessary to go in order to reach my goal. Lisa is a great trainer; I wouldn’t be as successful as I am with my weight loss without her. After my first few sessions I not only saw her as a trainer but also a friend. It was obvious she truly cared whether I was getting my exercise in. When I thought I couldn’t finish a workout, she was there telling me I could. I never thought I would look forward to going to the gym, but when you’re going to hang out with a friend with the same sarcastic, determined, and positive personality, it becomes fun.
I was pleased with my weight of 140 pounds in February of 2007 and was 10 pounds away from my goal but was becoming increasingly frustrated with the excess skin I was left with after the massive weight loss. I was happy with my life but couldn’t accept my body as it was. I knew the only answer to correct the damage done was to have reconstructive surgery. I met with several plastic surgeons, educated myself on all the risks and options, discussed it with my family, I made a decision to go through with it. My plastic surgeon, Dr. Tom Pousti is an amazing person. I felt so comfortable and was very impressed with the results of his past patients. We decided I would benefit from an extended tummy tuck, breast lift and breast augmentation. It was going to be a lot of surgery and a difficult recovery but it would close the final chapter in my life as unhappy and obese. I had the procedures done on May 4, 2007. I was immediately satisfied with the results. The recovery was more difficult then I thought and I wouldn’t have gotten through it without my Mom. She is and has always been my best friend and my rock. She was there for me 24 hours a day for 3 weeks, giving me pain medicine, emptying my drains, making sure I was comfortable, driving me to doctor appointments and supporting me 100% like she has always done. I am so grateful to have a best friend and a mom as my biggest support. It has been a long and difficult journey but I wouldn’t change anything. I have learned from everything I have gone through.
I now understand why I have always loved butterflies. Until a year ago today I isolated myself in my cocoon, unable to live without my addiction to food. I have been set free by Gastric Bypass and the support of my family and friends and have now emerged from that cocoon, spread my wings and for the first time am able to fly. I am truly happy, confident and proud of the “butterfly” I have become. I know I will have obstacles that I will have to get through in the future but knowing that I have my Mom, my Dad, my family and my friends at my side I know I will always be free and able to fly.
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a beautiful butterfly.”
