NicoleBray

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So I finally hit the 100 lbs lost mark, which seems like it took forever. Those last few pounds just didnt want to come off! But I did it, and I am so proud of myself! On the flip side of things, I'm completely annoyed with the major skin problem I am having. It looks like I have bat wings under my arms, and my stomach...looks soo disgusting. I can pick up the skin, pull it, stretch it..looks like silly putty. I had to invest in spanx so I could have a semi smooth apperance above my belly button, and they hold the skin in enough to wear I can fit into smaller clothes without looking like I have a dozen muffin tops. You would think I was running a damn bakery over here!! I am 53 lbs away from my goal weight, and I'm wondering how much longer I am going to be able to hold out before I saw screw this, and have my cosmetics. The skin is so depressing, not to mention, disgusting. If I'm not dealing with a rash under my belly, I'm dealing with an infected belly button. AHH!!!! And yea, lets not forget how much hair I'm losing. It has thinned out pretty bad. Globs of hair come out everytime I shower or brush my hair. I knew i was goin gto have hair loss, but my surgeon assured me it wouldn't be this bad :(  Dont get me wrong, I am so thankful for the surgery, and I would do it all over again if I had too, but I'm just having a rough time dealing with these things right now. Between that and my hubby being deployed, it makes things a little rough sometimes. Ok..finished with my rant!

So the dreaded "D" day finally come and gone. My hubby has left for his 15 month deployment. I've cried so much I wonder if I'm going to end up at the hospital again for dehydration (just making a funny).  This is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. This is our first deployment together. We have been married 2 years and have been together over 3. I just keep looking at the phone, hoping it will ring and that it will be him. I want that peace of mind to know he is safe. As much as I hate this, I'm trying to see the bigger, better picture. I know he is fighting for this country, to protect our kids, our freedom, even of those who do not support what he does. He is doing a selfless act. Willing to put his life on the line, be away from his family, his children, every day ammenities. Those things that we all take for granted. I hope anyone who happens to read this, can take the time to say a prayer for my hubby and the other soldiers overseas, that they come home safely, and a small prayer for me that I can hold things together for myself and our two children. It would be appreciated.

When I woke up this past Monday (7/26), I was extremely nauseous, dizzy, and everytime I took a drink of water or protein, I had a lot of discomfort in my stomach. I went back to bed later in the afternoon and napped, thinking I might feel better when I got up. Wrong. I felt much worse. I tried drinking again and just gagged it back up and what did go down caused the discomfort again. So I call the nurse, and she tells me to come into the office for a bag of fluids and labs in the morning. Well after 4 bags of fluids, I finally went to the bathroom, but very little. I was severely dehydrated and my potassium was low, and bilirubin levels were up. So of course I was admitted (great, my hubby deploys in 2 weeks and I am stuck in the hospital, he cant come visit b/c my 6yr old is sick). Got lots of fluids and banana bags. Had an ultrasound done for my gallbladder and they said that in the next few months I will more than likely have to have it removed. Great, another surgery. They also did an endoscopy, and found what looks like the start of an ulcer in my stomach, so they took a biopsy to make sure that I didn't have a bacterial infection, and my stomach is all inflammed and irritated. It will be a few days before I find out the results from the biopsy. So today is 7/31, I'm feeling a little better. The headache I've had all week FINALLY went away, and the nausea is getting a lot better. I am able to drink, but still get the discomfort in my stomach. They did put me back on an all liquid diet. No biggie to me. Who can really emjoy taking 2 tiny bites of food anyway?? Seems like a waste of even bothering as much as you have to chew for those small bites.  I'm 3 weeks 4 days post-op and just so tired of feeling like crap. I want to feel like me again.

So I was relived that the pain/burning that I am having is from my muscle healing in my stomach. Nurse said that it will last anywhere from 6-8 weeks. I was also cleared to be able to pick up my 1 yr old, just not to over do it, and give it 2 more weeks before I start a lot of lifting. I noticed since I picked her up a few times yesterday that it made the pain/burning worse in my stomach, which went on off and on throughout the night as well. I guess today I know better! I am excited to say that as of today I have lost 31 lbs! Whoot! I'm finally starting to see a difference in my clothes, and I am able to wear things that I haven't been able too in a long time! Feels really good! I can't wait, just 2 more weeks until I can really start hitting the gym....I can't imagine how the weight is going to come off then! Wow, I cant even believe that I am getting excited about the gym! When I used to go, while trying to diet on my own, I would dread it. I guess because I had killed myself working out and counted calories and such and would MAYBE lose 1 lb a week. It was very discouraging.  I'm excited that I am on this journey to a healthier life, and feeling better about myself

Tomorrow, I will be 2 weeks post-op. Up until now, I have felt really good, had energy, and have had minimal discomfort from the surgery for a while now. This morning, I had a lab draw for my appt. tomorrow. It literally took everything I had in me to pull my hair up in a pony tail. My biceps felt like they were on fire, yanno that burning sensation you get when you are lifting weights. I feel like at any given moment, I'm literally just going to fall over. At my blood draw, the tech kept asking me if I was ok, she thought I was going to colapse on her. I'm drinking my water, taking my vitamins and meds, walking...I'm doing everything that I am supposed to be doing, so I'm at a loss as to why I feel like this? Is this "normal"??? The past few days I have also had this sharp/stabbing pain in my left side, followed by a burning sensation, a pain/sensation which is new since I have had the surgery. Have no clue what is going on. Has any one else ever experienced this?!

The day of surgery, I couldn't begin to tell you how nervous, excited and everything in between I was. I cried all the way to the operating room. When I come too after surgery, I cried from the pain. It wasn't anything like I had expected...it was much worse. Once I was able to get up and walk around and shower, I started feeling much better. And then come all the built up gas! I think thus far its been the worse thing about the surgery, though it is getting better. I'm day 5 post-op and am getting around a lot better. I still have quite a bit of pain on my left side, but I'm able to manage without taking the pain meds. I'm not sure if its the staples or on the inside, just feels like everything is pulling. It's been a challenge for me to drink the amount of water that I am supposed too. I take 2 sips and I'm full, and the gas is making me feel so bloated. But I am managing! I have a 1 week post-op appt. on Tuesday, will update again then.