April 10, 2008

Apr 09, 2008

2 years!!  Wow.  I've lost 175 pounds and am scheduled for gallbladder removal on May 12 and hernia repair, abdominoplasty, and brachioplasty on July 8.  My weight is at 209.  My goal is to get below 200 before my surgeries.  Wish me luck!!!

STILL

Dec 12, 2007

Still at the same weight - actually up to 223. I bounce from 216 to 220 but I've never gone to 223.  I'm scared. Am I done???  Never completed the 5 DPT.  Unable to complete.

Started it again today and so far (4 pm) I've done well.  BF works until late today and tomorrow so I can have shakes for dinner easily. I've been eating too much sugar (the Christmas goodies start early)

NEVER GIVE UP

Should I start this??? SURE!!!!

Nov 14, 2007

Today I started the 5 day pouch test.  I just feel that I need to get a grip with the carb thing.  I need to have a small achievement of some type to get back on track and reach my goal of 199.  I see Dr. Miles today for my 18 mo. checkup.  

All in life is well and I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner!!  I'm excited.  I used to get nervous because I would be worried about how much I was gonna pig out (before WLS and ALWAYS on a damn diet) but not now.  I'm gonna fill up on turkey and have a couple bites of stuffing and potatoes so I don't feel deprived.  It's all about moderation. My parents are coming over and we're going to watch football!

October 29, 2007

Oct 29, 2007

No way has it been this long since I've posted!!!  I've lost a total of 167 so far but have been at a standstill for the past 2 months.  I have to admit I have not been making the wisest choices.  Girls in my support group say that was common for them at 18 mos. out also.  Have to get my butt back into gear!!!

I have met the most wonderful man - his name is Scot. He's from Michigan and was planning to move back but now says he wants to stay and we have both agreed on a commitment. We'll see. . . . More on that later.  Anyway, he eats like a pig!!!  He brings junk into the house (chips, sugary cereals, ice cream, etc) but now I'm making sure I have choices for myself also.  I started to get into some issues with alcohol and have stopped all together. I've even been to some AA meetings - the people there are so awesome. Scot went with me to my first since I was scared.  I just started 10 hour days at work so trying to juggle that with the gym will be a challenge.  I'll try to be better at posting, k?

13 MONTHS!!!

May 18, 2007

Unbelievable.  I just had my one year post op follow up (a month late).  I've lost a total of 139 pounds, am in size 18 pants/shorts and 16-18 tops.  I can't it's been that long.  I graduated with my BSN last Friday and had to give a speech for my class for around 2,000 people!!!  I was scared to death but did a fantastic job!!!  Was a long road but I did it!!  Now the summer is ahead of me and I'm excited.  I had an online dating mishap 2 weekends ago (still trying to get over) and I won't go into detail but my heart was broken.  I had signs from God that the relationship wasn't right but I chose to ignore the signs from HIM because I was enjoying the feeling of acceptance/praise from a man.  Oh well, I learned a valuable lesson, I'm still so new to this.  I plan on taking a break from the whole relationship thing for a while and just work on me.  I'm not sure I'm ready - not sure I feel good enough about myself yet to pursue a love interest.

I didn't lose for months 10-12 but dropped 10 last month.  I was eating 1500-1600 calories and drinking wine.  My nut cut me back to 900-1000 and I've cut out the wine (well, not totally but not like I was drinking).  I also starting lifting weights so I think that's helping.

Let's see, will go to Outer Banks in July to meet my family and girlfriend from Delaware coming in August for a week.  I went to the beach last weekend and it was a little slice of heaven.  I got new bathing suits and feel so much better.  Last year, just walking from the car to the beach wore me out - not this year!!!!

I bought a used BMW for myself for grad too.  I deserve it.  I always tend to do the practical thing but this is my dream car so I went for it.  Look damn good in it too :)

Still going to support group and counseling sessions at Chrysalis Counseling Center.  Body image issues with hanging skin now - arms and legs mostly but that can be fixed.  I'm just so impatient but this is the best thing I've ever done.

January 19, 2007

Jan 19, 2007

Happy New Year!  Haven't lost anything in 5 weeks (Christmas food and parties but didn't gain either) and then dropped 7.  I am at 263 pounds - down 121 so far.  I've started back at the gym hard and love it. I've also started doing weight training again.  On match.com and tango and "talking" to alot of guys - just practicing since I have no experience with that!  It's fun but scary, hurtful, self doubting at times (weeding through some of the freaks!) - things I'm working through as I go.  It's a journey.  Any other time I've lost this much when this started happening I would start gaining my weight back to insulate/cover myself. Not this time. I'm working through it with the help of my fantastic counselor Meghan. Sorry I don't update as I should .  Thanks for visiting. This is the best thing I have ever done in my life.

A big Thank You

Nov 13, 2006

A big thank you to Reba (holygrl72) for not only sprucing up my profile, but assisting with so many other "computer issues" that I have.  YOU ARE AWESOME REBA!!!!  

Century Club - November 6, 2006

Nov 06, 2006

I made it!  I made it!!   I've lost 100.3 pounds.   I can't believe it - what a milestone.  This gives me incentive to keep going.  Now I'm going to focus on weight ranges to get into.  I am 283.7 now and my next goal is to get into the 270's.     Woo hoo.  It sure is alot slower but worth every minute.

My old posts from 3/01/06 to 10/09/06

Oct 17, 2006

3/1/06 I am 44 years old, single and have been researching this surgery for about 2 years now. I am scared but ready. I am learning to trust myself and that I will do the right things that I need to do. I am ready to start LIVING my life that God has given me.

3/3/06 I went to Dr. Miles' support group meeting Wednesday night and it was great - alot of information and support. Next Thursday I will find out if it is a go/no no and if I've lost enough wait. I really hope it doesn't have to be postponed because I am geared up and ready. I love this sight!

3/10 It's a go!!!! I've lost 17 pounds and am scheduled for surgery on April 3rd. I am SO excited!!! I have alot of support from family and friends that love me so much. I probably won't get nervous until right before. Fighting back the desire to have the "last supper".

3/21 I am SO disappointed. They postponed my surgery another week to April 10th!!! I am really down about this but there is nothing I can do but to realize it is in the "big plan" for me. :(

3/25 Getting ready to start veggies, protein and liquids tomorrow. I went to the store and bought all my necessities. Then clear liquids after that. 2 more weeks. I bought a scale and the weight reads 373.5 Right below the limit of the scale at 380.

3/26 I made some soup with broth, water and veggies that I will eat on this week along with bottles of crystal light, jello, etc. I can't believe that 2 weeks from today I will be prepping for surgery. I am so excited.

4/9/06 I'm packing some things for the hospital. I may have to take something to help me sleep. The phone has been ringing off the hook with well wishers and a visit from my good friends Carole and George with a prayer. I am so blessed to have these people around me - it makes me stronger that I can do this with God's help and the support of my friends.

4/14/06 8:50 am Wow, it's over. Rough time at the hospital - no sleep, bed so uncomfortable, diarrhea and gas from the barium but I'm home now and it's getting better. Really have to focus on having something to drink with you 24/7. I am feeling lightheaded but think it may be dehydration, lower calorie intake, etc. Having to push myself to do little things due to low energy level. I am losing though. I have lost 7 pounds so far. I wish I could fast forward to when I have my energy back.
9:20 pm - forced myself to go out to bed, bath and beyond today and then pump gas into my car (talk about liquid gold!) I was very tired but glad I did it. Now my left side is really hurting but I just took some pain med before I go to sleep. Really working on my fluids, fuzzy feeling in head starting to go away. Received call from one of my supporters, Elizabeth, in my support group and Lori Long yest. They are Godsends!!!

4/25/06 Now 2 weeks post op, back at work and doing so much better. Full liquids is about to kill me and I've been on them for 2 weeks. I am ready to transition to chopped/pureed. I ate a small club cracker today and small piece of cooked squash and it went down fine. Hard to get to protein shakes in but I'm doing it. Need to start exercising but still don't feel like it (what else is new). One more week left of school - hooray!!! And then out for the summer. So far, I've lost 19 pounds. I am starting to be able to tell in my clothes. Last week back at work was hell but this week is SO much better with lots more energy.

5/5/05 tgif!!! Been struggling with the demon scale and trying not to get disappointed when I don't drop 20 pounds a week. Patience has never been my virtue. I discussed with Megan last night (counselor/shrink) and we made a deal that I would weigh again on Monday which will be 1 month post op (can't believe it) and then just weigh every two weeks. I've gotten some good advice from other members on the boards to throw the scale away or run over it with your car. hee hee.
374/352/200 Lost 22 pounds so far with 12 before my surgery with a total of 34 pounds. I am such a dork to be so impatient because I HAVE done awesome. Working on trying to start walking more.

6/5/06 Today is 2 months post op and I feel great. I started my
period again today and finally maybe I'm getting regulated (4th time I've had it since surgery!!!!). I've lost 35 pounds now with the 12 pounds before for a total of 47 pounds! Of course, I don't feel like I'm losing fast enough. I have started upping my exercise and shoot for 5 days per week now and have started going back to the gym doing cardio rotating with walking at home. I was eating too much when I went for my nut appointment so I've scaled back to 1/2 cup and now don't get that uncomfortable full feeling. Michelle had her adorable baby girl this weekend so I ate "toddler" food while I was babysitting her boy Maxie which included french fries 2 times!! I know that was not good and am back on track (even if I could only eat 4 or 5 of them). I am going to try and increase my protein. I ordered Nectar samples today to mix with my water. I mixed the Isopure fruit drink with my water and it was ok but expensive at $3.50 a pop. I'm stressed also because my beloved Dudley (yellow lab I've had for 15 years since he was an 8 week old baby) is not well and I have to take him to the vet today. He is having trouble going to the bathroom and when he does it's liquid - I know TMI!!! My house is also a disaster because they just laid tile and I'm waiting for my kitchen table to be delivered Sat. All in all, life is good and this journey is a trip. I haven't dumped because I haven't tried sugar or alcohol which I dearly miss especially a cold beer in the summer but I'm handling well. That's why I did this because then there would be no negotiating - I just can't have it.

7/31/06 Well I had to put my beloved Dudley to sleep week before last. It killed me. He was like my child. It has been just he and I for 15 years and we grew up together. He was not happy and had lost his zest for life - looked as if he were in pain and didn't want affection. He couldn't do what dogs are supposed to do: jump on furniture, chase a ball, go for a walk. Even the pain and arthritis pills were not helping. I am recovering but it is hard. My weight loss is at 65 pounds the last time I weighed and I have gone from a size 32/34 to a size 24 pants!!! I can't believe it. My bottom half has always been bigger. Finally something is working. I am doing what I'm supposed to - not to perfection but the best I can as a human being. I just keep plugging along. I can't believe school starts in 3 weeks.
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9/10/06 I can't believe it's been 5 months since my surgery!!! I have lost 84 pounds as of today. It seems to be going slow for me but I don't care - it's going!!!! I am exercising 4-5 times a week. I am getting enough protein, water and vits so I know it will come off. The most exciting thing today is that I'm in tooterville!!!!! Yipppeee!! I started at 384 and am now 299.8 My boobs are what is sagging the worst so far. I am back in school and work is going ok (I mean, it's work). so I am very busy. I've had some issues with my neck and back so I've been going to the Chiro. I AM SO IMPATIENT!!!! I try not to think about it and just do what I'm supposed to do for the most part. Still have slip ups but I do the best I can - trying to make better choices. Going to VA in October for Holloween at Busch Gardens - I know I still won't be able to fit on the rides but there are alot of other attractions. Sorry I don't journal like I'm supposed to!!!!! Until next time.

October 9, 2006 Monday
Well, I cannot believe it - it's been 6 months since my surgery. I go for my 6 month check up this Thursday. I have lost a total of 95 pounds since I started this journed and 83 since surgery (12 pre op). I am proud of myself. I've kicked up the exercise these past 2 weeks and am trying to increase my total cardio time - still have not started weight training yet. I will ask Dr. Miles Thursday. My goal is to exercise 5 times a week (I think that is realistic and something I can sustain for the "long haul") and I'm up to 40 minutes per session increasing 5 minute intervals every 2 weeks. I need to be careful because my right hip is still hurting and I don't want to be out of commission. I am worried about caffeine and red wine lately. I know I'm not supposed to have either and have been indulging - coffee 2 cups every day and red wine occasionally at an outing. They say since these foods are so acidic they can cause ulcers and scar tissue in your pouch and cause stricture and in turn pouch stretching. Will ask Thursday.
I still miss Dudley so much. Sometimes I still hear his collar jingling in the am when I get up and it's like he's saying hello.
I am in to size 18/20 tops and 26 pants. I've started with a support group at Chrysalis (my counseling center) and will see how it goes. Everyone else in the group is at least a year out and has had plastics already. I am having "boy issues" - mainly how to get one. Just kidding. Old feelings are resurfacing that I'm not good enough - STILL. Since I'm now feeling better about myself I'm looking at guys more but it's scary at the same time. I wonder if I'll ever find someone. Meghan, my shrink says to wait a year like they do in AA so I can work on myself now. Lots of mixed feelings and emotions. It IS A JOURNEY I'LL SAY THAT. My only regret is that I didn't do this years ago. Later. . . .

About Me
Wilmington, NC
Location
62.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/10/2006
Surgery Date
Mar 01, 2006
Member Since

Friends 30

Latest Blog 9
April 10, 2008
STILL
Should I start this??? SURE!!!!
October 29, 2007
13 MONTHS!!!
January 19, 2007
A big Thank You
Century Club - November 6, 2006
My old posts from 3/01/06 to 10/09/06

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