I haven't always been overweight.  Growing up I was extremely active in sports and other things that kept me pretty thin. 

I was 19(young, dumb and in love) when I got married the first time and weighed 110lbs. At that time I moved away from all of my family and friends, hundreds of miles away, and that is where it started going downhill.  I was miserable, my now ex was never home and when he was, it wasn't a good situation alot of times.  The only friends I had were the television and food.  I was so ashamed of the situation I had gotten myself into that I pretty much alienated myself from my family, which wasn't hard to do considering  I was over 1000 miles away.  It was 7 years before I got out of that situation, emotionally & physically bruised, no self esteem and at least 120 lbs heavier.  I honestly don't know what my heaviest weight was, I simply didn't care.  Near the end, he told me that the reason why he stopped wanting to do things together was because he was embarassed to be seen with me in public.  It's sad that 15+ years later that still sticks with me.  I still have issues of feeling like my *skinny* friends are embarassed to hang out with me.  

In 2001 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. At that point I lost about 30lbs just from the change in diet.  But no matter what I tried, I just couldn't lose any more weight.  I had remarried 4 years before that (on the rebound..another mistake) & he wasn't exactly the most supportive person.  He actually did not like me losing weight. Of course, he was overweight himself so perhaps that was a part of it.  That marriage only lasted 7 years too.  

I started looking at WLS a couple years ago. The driving force behind it, I want to be healthy again.  I get so frustrated at times with what seems like constant health issues popping up that are related either the diabetes or obesity. Of course, I would be lying if I said that is the only reason, naturally I also want to feel good about myself and how I look.   I have such an awesome life right now, with an amazing, supportive, loving boyfriend, significant other, partner..whatever you want to call him. One thing that he has been a great help with is me learning to love myself for who I am now.  It is a real struggle, but as he has told me "you need to love yourself the way you are now, because soon enough that part of you will be gone and won't be coming back"  We have been together over 5 years now, I tell him if he makes it past 7 he's safe.  lol  Anyway, I love my life and I want to make sure that now that I have finally reached true happiness, I'm healthy enough to be around a long time to enjoy it. 

About Me
Pasadena, MD
Location
41.9
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/26/2008
Surgery Date
Aug 29, 2006
Member Since

Friends 13

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