njcocoa
11/27/07-If you read this in its entireity, the numbers may confuse you. As of now, I have gained a total of 18 pounds from my lowest. At one point, just a little while ago I was up 38. Never ever again, I am working very hard at getting this weight off, and keeping it off. The pic above is where I want to go back to.
09/07/06-I've gained 14 pounds since January, 10 since May. I'm putting it out there. And I know exactly why, too much alcohol, too little exercises, and BAD choices. I had to put it out there. Obesity Help is my home away from home, and I need to be honest here. Now I know these 14 pounds are coming off, along with the 16 I need to be at goal, and I'm here to tell ya, I'm gonna do it. I've come too far to go back. I've been wallowing in self pity for about 6 months. I mean I get told everyday how fabulous I look, and yada yada, but my mind was really not ready for this drastic change to my life. 16 months later and I finally get it. Stay tuned, because I'm on a mission. Love you all!
05/02/06-My 1 yr surgiversary!!!! Oh I feel so good. Today I weigh in at 180 a few pound gain over the past few months...but its that time, so tommorow I'll be 4 pounds lighter..oh well. Saw my nutritionist today, and she is very pleased with my progress. We have upped my calories to 1100-1300 per day which might get the ball rolling again. I still have a tool, and I plan on working it. I also revevaluated my goal with her, we're looking at 146 which is 34 pounds away, and a normal BMI. I need to do more weight training, as I've been focusing on cardio. My highest weight was 260, which I will be posting a before photo of soon. so much has happened during these past 12 months. I have truly evolved as a woman. I am a mommy that can run, jump, hop and skip. I am a clothes horse, but of course the best thing is that I have my health. I am the healthiest that I have ever been, and only 34 pounds overweight as opposed to 114 pounds overweight, which had me at morbid obesity. I have made so many new friends via OH, and this is where I turn for support, answers and a nice good time. Thanks to all! I could go on and on...bottom line is this, I feel great, I look great, and I wouldn't change any of this for the world. My life is fabulous. And for those who think thats its over after a yr, puhleez...I'm still workin my tool, and although I can eat more now, its no where near what I used to do. I'd have to say the most rewarding part of this journey has been providing inspiration to my mom, and watching her take control of her health, as of today she is down 40 pounds, at 8 wks post-op...Get em Girl, lol...ok, I'm gonna go before I write a book. My anniversary gift to my self is a trip to AC with my mom, her friends, and my friends. We have a room at the Borgata, dinner reservations at the Tropicana, and massages at Ceasars. And I'm gonna party like its 1999!
This pic was taken today 05/02/06
I am a 28 year old single mom of 1. I currenly working a full time and a part time job. I am also a full time student majoring in criminal justice. Work and school and family keep me pretty busy...but thats the only way I know how to be.
Finally. I am 4 days pre-op,and scared to death! I can't believe that I am actually going through with this, I've been obese since I was 8 years old, and I can't wait to experience a different side of life. One of my closest friends had WLS about 7 months ago, and she is my inspiration for this. Not only does she look fabulous, but she is so enjoying life again, she's energetic and happy, and those are two of my biggest goals! Although I've always been overweight, I have gained 60 pounds in the 5 years since I gave birth. I want to run, jump and play with my baby...and hopefully this surgery will enable me to do that.
My decision to have surgery was a rather quick one. After the general information session, I was sprung. I'm a little bummed that Dr. Ward is out of network, but he and his staff have assured me that money is not an object. They have also been very helpful in dealing with NJPLUS, the only phone calls that I have made are for my own reference, his office has taken care of everything. They even file claims for me. I do wish that I had a more personal relationship with the Morristown staff,(They're the ones calling the shots) Kate in Somerville is very friendly, though at times she can be a bit rushed. I actually worked at Somerset Medical for 5 years, so I am confident in the staff, and the care that I will be receiving.
My friends are very supportive, but the family is kind of nonchalant about the whole thing...granted they do have other things to worry about. My son has no idea what is going on, but I'm sure he'll appreciate his new mommy, especially when we are outdoors doing all of the fun things little boys like to do.
I can't wait to join a gym, and exercise! I know from past experience that exercise is an antidepressant...When I went for my psych eval-therapy was recommended, lol. It's turning out to be a good thing. My therapist is cool, and she's helping me to get pyschologically prepared.
The single most frightening thought to me other than the OR is how my relationship with food will be changed for ever...Is anyone ever ready for it? We'll see...stay tuned
4/29/05- Very Nervous this am, can't sleep. After reading everyone's insurance nightmares wondering if I'll have a problem even though I have an authorization? Hmmmm? Thinking about food again, What will I do on Mother's Day, the whole family is going out to dinner, and I'll only be 6 days post op...Guess I'll get over it, but nevertheless my mind is in overdrive thinking about things.
5/1/05- Less than 24 hours, OMG. I am so nervous...and kind of hungry too.The reality of how difficult this journey is going to be is finally sinking in. But I'm definitely up for the challenge. I had my last meal today. A ham and swiss omelette with 3 Perkins Pancakes. It was delicious.
May 4, 2005- 2 days out, and finally home! I can't beleive I did it! I have practically no incisional pain, gas is really bad though. Dr. Ward was great, we had no complications and he came to see my everyday with a smile. Kate also gets major props, This woman sat with me in recovery and damn near pushed me into the OR, because I was all alone. I was sooo frightened. Wow, I still can't believe that I did it
Surgery is May 2, 2005!!!!!!!
May 29, 2005- 27 days and 24 pounds gone! Why didnt anyone tell me it would be this hard. I'm feeling great physically, ready to exercise, but my mental is on a whole new level. I know that I'm not hungry, but those cravings are serious especially during PMS time, the only thing I can do is take it one day at at a time. Thanks for all of your suppoort!
June 3, 2005- One month down and I feel great. I went back to work yesterday and people can really appreciate the transformation. I began exercising this week and it feels great to get my heart rate pumping. I spoke with the nutritionist and she feels I'm doing a great job, as do I.
June 5, 2005- My eating habits were horrible this weekend! I have never been more aware of my addiction to food than I have today.It's really bad. I was out of my element, and everything I saw I ate, even to the point of vomiting. I totally realize what I'm doing, but I just had to have it. I haven't had any surgical complications, but yet I still live with the fear that I will expand my pouch...but how great is that fear given the way I ate today? I hope that today was a sort of lesson learned and that I can use my experience as some sort of behavior mod...because I cant afford to go back. I REFUSE TO GO BACK! Thanks for letting me vent...
June 10, 2005- I have done GREAT this week. The support froups as well as the BAF have been awesome! Talk about a plethora of information, and I thought I was well informed pre-op. Anyway I did absolutely no grazing this week. I set 3 times as meal time and thats what it was, I realized there was no need for me to snack, because I wasn't hungry. I'm really proud of myself for last night because I became very emotional, and actually said to myself, "let me go heat up that left over chili", but then I was like for what?????????????????I beleive that my self talk is a sign of growth, and one day at a time with the help of my tool I may be able to overcome this addiction. Praise God. It's nice to actually recognize a limit.
Most recent pic 05/11/06 Me in Detroit
June 28, 2005- 8 weeks out, and I just had my first dumping episode. As sick as it may sound I feel as if I have "arrived". I've got a long way to go-mentally more than anything.Because today's episode was induced, and instead of just staying away from sweets I had to push myself. Well, I'm not going to beat myself up, what's done is done, and I can only do better.Overall for the past 3 weeks I had been doing great:eating the proper foods, meeting my protein, water and vitamin goals, and eating only 3 times a day.
June 29,2005- After sitting on the pity pot, I got up, got out and did something. I've been depressed lately, and not handling it well, but today I went to the gym, and I feel sooooo much better. It is definitely a better day.
July 2, 2005- Fourth of July Weekend! And my 2 month anniversary. Lets see, the past 2 months have been challenging, but so well worth it. Last year I couldnt imagine going to a water park, much less getting on the slides 8 times. In a cute size 16 bathing suit at that!!!!!!!!I feel great. I exercise at least 3x a week, and more or less I follow the program. I do notice that I tend to slack off during the weekend, but I'm working on that. Well I'm off to check out the clothing exchange...se ya!
July 31, 2005
Well, so many things are going on. First of all my mom has decided to have WLS, and I am ecstatic for her. I am also honored that I actually serve as inspiration for her as well. I've been going through a lot during the last month, and let my tell you, if it weren't for my weekly support group I don't know where I would be. Thank you Angels! Today I am officially 200 pounds - thats 60 pounds lost in a little less than 3 months! I feel great. I'm going to Puerto Rico in 11 days and I can't wait!!!! It is going to be off the hook. I picked up a part time job, in addition to my full time, so I am exhausted most of the time, but my wallet is not complaining. I just wanted to check in cuz it's been a minute...Take care everyone!
Hey All! Well is 3 months and 2 days after my WLS. I feel awesome. I went to the doctor today and here is what he said:
saw Dr. Ward today and he was great about answering all of my questions. *****Disclaimer: Every Surgeon and Patient is different!****
How many calories? 800-1000
carbs? As long as you stay in your calorie range, you should be cool.
How many protein drinks? 1 - get the rest from food
Can my pounch expand? Something about the stretchy part of the stomach being eliminated. Basically some foods will empty faster than others...sounded good to me
Should I have 64oz of water per day or just fluids? - Water is always great, but as long as you stay hydrated, and don't let yourself feel thirsty.
How was my bloodwork - good, you're B-12 is a litttle low, get some dots. Iron is great.
Whats up with vitamin absorption- Make sure you take your calcium with fat in the am and at lunch. Take your Multi at night. Caltrate is better that TUMS because you get Vitamin D, TUMS is just calcium. Biotin doesnt make or break you, because there is a fairly large amount found in most multi's.
I forgot to talk about exercise, but I know I need to step it up a notch.
And that was that, he'll see me in 3 months.
My only regret is that I didn't have surgery sooner.
8/7/05 - Went to the beach yesterday, wore that cute bathing suit that I've been talking about...felt great...Puerto Rico in 3 days!
Well, it's official. Once I start I can't stop. Thought that I could have just 1 munchkin yesterday, I think I had about 10. Now I know that I can't even go there, I really have no excuse to snack. Still can't say that I know the difference between wanting food, and needing food. Maybe one day I will get it. At least I worked out, and met all of my daily requirements. To all of my friends here, thanks so much for the support. Especially my Mayers crew. See ya in New Orleans!
8/15/05 - Fresh of the plain from PR. What a beautiful island, and the cops in Old San Juan are beautiful. We had so much fun...photos should be posted soon. The bacardi factory was off the hook...whew what can I say. Very proud of myself. I walked a lot! I also maintained my water and vitamin goals. My food choices were pretty healthy, and overall it was a nice experience. The morning that I left, I met with my nutritionist. I can't really remember what she said, its all a blur. Something about 800-1000 cal a day, and more exercise.I also need to stop the snacking, and if I must have a snack, it needs to be fruit. She also said that I am not going crazy, and that yes, I am feeling hunger again, the 2 protein drinks and a meal, are not cutting it. She said I need to do 3 meals, and use the protein drinks as a snack. Sounds good to me...Now that my life is a little less hectic, hopefully I can get back on track. It's gonna be nice to go home and relax, and not go to a mall, or some other store to pick up a last minute item for my trip. Well, just a little update for ya. See ya
8/19/05- OK this food thing is serious. I need to focus...debt+major surgery does not = M&M's, not even peanut ones which give you 5 grms of protein...It has to get better
9/2/05 - OK today is my four month "re-birthday". I weigh 193, for a total loss of 67 pounds...When is the last time I did that? My joy is overshadowed due to the tragedy in New Orleans...my heart aches so badly for those affected. May God Bless all of us. I KNOW that my weight loss can be dramatically increased if I leave the s$%& alone, and get my butt to the gym...carbs go down way to easily. That is my vow today. I do very well with my vitamins/water/protein...and I find that as long as I focus, I can stay within my 800-1000 daily cal range, although it is very easy to get to 1200. The surgery part was easy...it's my mind that needs help. The Angel support group is awesome, but do to school resuming next week, I will be unable to attend :( On a better note..I find myself dating again, and what drama that is. But I really think that when you feel good about yourself, others see it as well, hence all of the attention from the opposite sex. I am so grateful for the members of this site...You all have gotten me through some tough times. Summer is coming to an end, and it has been the best one of my life...the beach...Puerto Rico...2 Waterparks...I'll miss you, until next year...looking even more fab!
9/28/02 - Well I am 4 days short of being 5 months post-op. What a whirlwind. I haven't been doing to well lately. Life has been hectic so I haven't made the best eating choices. I've been heavy on the carbs, and low on the protein. Trying to change my ways, and the best I can do is one day at a time. Somebody on the May boards said it best: "It's a journey not a race". I am trying so hard to stop grazing and snacking. Maybe with my life a little less hectic, I can slow down and focus. I hope so. 48 pounds to goal. That is sooo awesome. I think that I need to take it back to basics, and I know I need to exercise. I saw my brother the other day for the first time since surgery, and he had nothing but compliements-soooo rare for a brother.Well thats it for now. God Bless everyone out there!
Future Update
10/7/05 - 5 months out! I cannot believe it. I weighed in at 183 today, for a 77 pound loss! WOW! No major skin sagging issues, but my hair is another story. Not only is it falling out, but breaking off as well...I don't know what to do. I am wearing a Medium top and a 12 pant...but today I'm going shopping, and I'm gonna try on a 10...stay tuned. I saw the nutritionist on Wednesday. She is soo awesome. I was completely honest with her, and told her about my struggle with the vending machine at work...she told me occasional is ok, but deep down, I know this is an issue for me to work out with my therapist, and not my nutritionist. LOL. Hunger is still minimum...it's all in my head. I love barriatriceating.com, and I do ok with my protein, water and vitamins...bottom line is old habits die hard. I also need to exercise...Gonna start that real soon! Life is still awesome, and its nice to look in the mirror, and like what I see....The nut was pretty pleased and she said I should still shoot for no more that 1000 cal a day. And maintain the 60-80 grams of protein. For some reason I do really well on the weekends and at home, its work that kills me. One day at a time is all I can do. See ya next month.
11/3/05- Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary. 181 today for total loss of 79 pounds. Thats only a 2 pound loss though in a month...I finally upped my protein though...and I gave up the part time job, so no maybe now I can exercise. UGGGHHHH, this is so rough, still can't leave the junk alone. I think its because I've gotten cocky, and I like the way I look. However there is work to do in order to maintain the way I look. I can eat more some days than others, however my average is about 4-6oz per serving. A little discouraged, hope to be 175 by the time I see my doctor on the 17th...I can do it if I buckle down. Last night I got so sick on beef...not a good feeling. Anway I still have no regrets...and the past 6 months have been fabulous!
11/16/05-6 weeks...an official plateau. Saw my nutritionist today, she said that I absolutely need to exercise, and make better choices...i.e. no fried foods, salad dressings. Neverthless down 79 pounds, and looking fabulous, but I see her in a month, and I hope to be down at least 10 pounds. I think I can do this!
12/2/05- Today is my 7 month anniversary. WOW! Weight loss has been fluctuation between 79-83 pounds this month. I really need to go back to basics, but I control this, and I refuse to let it get to me. Although I have only lost 6 pounds since september, I have gone from wearing a juniors size 15 jean to a missy 10, and my holiday party dress is a sized MEDIUM!!! Life is good.I'll update when I speak to my NUT...as I am trying to make a mini-goal!
12/23/05: Here is the bottom line. I am scared to death that I am going to gain weight. I dont have a significant loss for the past 4 months. My stress level has been overwhelming with school, and the two jobs. And now that its holiday time, forget it. I have 37 pounds until goal, and it seems so elusive. And I have no one to blame but myself. I dont exercise, and carbs are taking over. And I imbibe way to often (guess it comes down to replacing one addiction for another)Hopefully this week I can regroup, school is over, my son is away for the week, and I just need some time to get my mind right. I tell myself over and over that I'm not going back, and I'm not.
01/02/05-My 8 month anniversary. 40 pounds to goal! I look great and I feel great. The pics were taken at my holiday party and I felt like a princess. It was a magical night. My new years resolution is to exercise, so I will be walking away the pounds...here we go!
01/11/05-Saw my nutrtionist and doctor this week. Both assured me that it is normal that I can eat more, but to continue with the healthy choices. Once again I need to exercise. My Vitamin D level is only 16, and it needs to be above 30, but all of my other levels are great. I am losing inches but still stuck at 178...18 pounds till the century club, Not gonna update again til I get there!\
02/10/06- Well I lied about not updating. I saw 175 for about 2 weeks then I get back from vacation to see 182, but I go it back down to 179, but damn...That rum will do it to you. Just back from the beautiful island of St.Thomas, and I had a fabulous time. I know for a fact that I would not have been able to enjoy myself so much a yr ago, pre surgery. I felt like the most beautiful woman int he world, and just comfortable in my own skin for once. I'm still strugglin, but feeling so good, now that I have begun to exercise. Still get that feeling that make me say "oooo it worked". Ya need that feeling every once in while, cause at this stage in the game it is very easy to get cocky. One thing I can say is things are going to change after today. My mom got a date, February 28! So i need to be a positive role model for her. So tonite I'm goin out with the girls, and then I'm takin it down!
03/03/06-10 months!!!178 pounds, and feelign fabo! Basically this is what I'm feeling today, its a response to a fellow board memberI know what you're going through. Just today I actually relaized that I had been severely depressed since December. My long term therapist went on maternity leave, and I began somw bad habits, including alcohol, and unhealthy food choices. I didn't exercise, and although i didn't gain, I didnt lose anything since about mid-january. On Sunday I heard an evangelist say "Forgive". And thats what I did! I stopped being mad, mad at my family, mad at my ex, mad at the no-good men in my life, and I turned that into self-preservation, started focusing that energy on the positive things, and remebering that my WLS was not in vain. I have 38 pounds to my doctor's goal, and about 29 to my personal/healthy weight. I 've come to far to let food take over my life again. This is my testimony. And just want you to know that I'm thinking of al of my sisters who are struglling. Please email me if you need to. We can do this.
04/02/06-11 months OMG, can't believe it. 179 today, a 1 pound gain since last month. Its not bothering me as much as it should have. I am still an emotional eater, and having had te worst month of my life, I didnt make the best choices. My job is also really becoming my downfall...I notice that when I'm not at work I do fabulously...but Mon-Fri, its all about food. Went to 6 Flags today. I had a blast. I rode every single roller coaster. And my only concern wasn't even weight related-it was whether or not my wig was going to come off. I'm wearing a size 10 now...but I really hope to buy a size 8 dress for my brother's wedding. I hear you go down a size for every 10 pounds you lose, so heres to a better month.
my baby boy dying eggs on Easter Eve
Below is a pic of my beautiful baby boy and my brother:so proud of them both!
04/23/06-So discouraged... my weight is fluctuating up and down between 7 pounds and I don't get it. I'm talking about overnight. I am rapidly approaching my 1 yr anniversary and I have not met my goal which is 160 also equivalent to the century club. (on a good day this is 15 pounds away, but today its 22 pounds away. I take full responsibility, because I don't always make the best of choices, and I am not a regular exerciser. These are behaviors that I am trying to change, and I really believe that I do have the power to control this. I want goal so much. Instead of being jealous of those who are at goal already, I try to use them as inspiration, and tell myself "Aliya you can do this" Because I really can. Sorry for the rant, I am a little depressed, PMS'in and just came to the conclusion that I am indeed failing my criminal law course, so thats added stress, in addition to my issues with my son. Things are better on that end, thank goodness, but its been a rough 2 months. As I type, I am talking to my best friend who weighs about 100 pounds, and she's telling me how great I look, and that I've almost lost her! (weight-wise)
My name is Aliya and I am 2.5 years post op...working steadily to my goal. I am a single mom to a wonderful 7 year old boy, and he is the love of my life. My WLS surgery was not a long one at all, I made my final decision to pursue in March of 05, had a nutritional consult,and psych eval by April of 05, received approval on April 14, and May 2, 2005 was my big day. I had absolutely no complications, and lost about 15-20 pounds a month until January of 06. Then came the summer and I was SKINNY...vacation, happy hr, all that good stuff, By September I had gained 12 pounds, and have steady been creeping up since. I have finally come to my good senses, and ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I need to be accountable again. And thats the bottom line, I plan on updating my successes, and cannot wait until i can come here and tell you that I've reached goal!
To continue with my story...I just read my old profile, and my posts during my first year post op, WOW- I was so humble, focused and determined! I want to go back to that, I think that I'm headed back to that. At least I'm trying to be. Protein, Water,Exercise and Vitamins, that was my life before I got reaquainted with bread and wine. Thanksgiving is over, and while I wasn't out of control, it was such a testament to the fact that I'm sick of food. I'm challenging myself...a 7 day challenge, I would like for the first 2 days to be liquid, but I doubt it...so I will drink 80oz water everyday, provided for 80g of protein per day, EAT absolutely no bread, potatoes, or "sweets" and to get my body moving with 1hr of cardio everyday. Next Friday 11/30, I will reevaluate and see how I do. The bottom line is that I can still no where near tolerate the amounts of food that I used to, so I need to be even more careful of the things that I put into my body. I'm off to work on converting my profile, see ya soon!
