August 29 2005


Well for some reason I never took the time to just really update my page like many. It was just something that was not important to me. Well now is the time, to truly express what I feel. Today August 29, 2005, my surgery is September 1, 2005. I am scared as HELL. I DON’T want to DIE!!!!!!. I have been so strong through out many things in my life. It was around this time last year I flew on a plane. I never thought it would happen, at that time I recall saying to myself that I can beat this weight thing, if I can get on a plane. Well I didn’t beat the weight things just yet. I know everyone has this feeling and I see where people put saying like “be at peace” “let the lord carry you” etc. I know this is all true, but when it comes down to it only you know what you truly feel. No matter how the statistics, surgical skills, and pre op health, it still does not give me the peace of mind that I had hoped. I guess I am just dealing with my own personal issues. I just want anyone to read this to know how this decision can affect your mental state.

Now starting the day of my surgery this is what I want to happen
Wake up---- Not freak out by the IV in my neck---Get up and move around—And do my best to prevent any surgical complications on my behalf.


Things I look forward to doing after my surgery.
Continue to give praises to God and not be one of those people that call on the Lord when you are in need.

YES cant wait to look better, and feel better about myself.
I hope the joint pain knees, feet, back, and hips get better each day.
My depression leaves, or can be better dealt with.
My menstrual cycle becomes normal again.

The new Life
I know I most likely wont have a flat tummy and my breast wont be perky (lets just say the whole cosmetic look is not expected)
I really want to appreciate my body with the excess skin, I have read how some people hate their bodies more now than before. I can understand this partially; also I am still pre op.
I want to always been overweight people friendly

Well I need to get some rest now and read 23 and 37 Psalms, I just got off the phone with my aunt and she suggested this to me.

Different days in September
Well I guess its time I share my story. My surgery was September 1st. The night before was such a rush for me I had to take the bowel cleaner, and pick up my mother and brother from the bus station. Well I arrived at the hospital about 6:30am. The nurse came in and gave me my blood thinner shot in my stomach, they I was told to empty my bladder, and put on the hospital gown. My mother, brother, and niece were there with me. I know I was scared but I wasn’t at the same time. My surgery was scheduled for 8am. A young cute black man came to wheel me back to the waiting room. My mother held my hand and gave a private prayer. I guess they took me to the recovery/waiting room. I remember seeing this lady that had some type of anti terrorist mask on her face. I saw a doctor standing beside her, and she was shaking a little, that scared the “you know what out of me”. I was thinking you still have time to back out.

Well the recovery nurse came over and asked me questions, then the anesthesiologist gave me some meds, and the doctor came in real quick. I was wheeled to the operating room, I really hoped that would be out by now. I got on the table, and they put compression socks on me and that’s all I remember. I woke up and the first thing I noticed was “hey I am alive”. My chest felt very heavy, and I guess “I said it loud enough for the nurse to ask the doctor”, and “he said that was normal after surgery”. Oh yea they also had inserted a picc line in my neck, and put a catheter in me while I was in surgery. I went to my room and I begin to ask them to let my family know that I was ok. I wanted to walk as well but the nurse gave me some beurocratic crap about the I need to be in my room at least 2hrs. (Medical City Dallas needs some better nurse social skills training, I had some bitchy nurses. But one was very sweet and she really touched me her name was Ruby). So that day I was only able to walk a few steps, not by choice I wanted to move around even though I was in a little pain.
Well the next day I went to do my leak test, I had to swallow this nasty graphing stuff. Guess what IT DIDN’T GO DOWN. The people kept trying to get my to swallow, but it would not get passed my Esophagus. At this point I was thinking well I will come back later and try it. Later that day the doctor came in to talk to me and told me that I would take the swallow test the next day, which was the day I was supposed to go home. Well that day I just threw up 24/7, I kept throwing up that graphing solution. I could not even keep down my own saliva. Well we tried it again the next day (day 3) and nothing. Once again I just continued to throw it up 24/7 nothing would go down. At this point the doctor says that I had major trauma and “it looks like I am very swollen”. To no fault of his I could tell he really didn’t know what was wrong. On Day 4 nothing was going down no spit or nothing. My doctor told me that my new open must have swollen shut, or maybe the stitch did not go all the way through. So different doctors started coming in to see me, I could tell it was serious. They kept me on IV fluids to keep me hydrated, I was feeling very weak. They also started to feed me nutrients. It had been about a week since I had eaten, this is counting the liquid diet pre op I started asking myself “what have I done” (yes I started regretting the surgery, that soon). Well each day they tried to so the test, along with abdominal x-rays. They did not want to do an endoscopy, because they would knock the suture a loose and cause an emergency surgery. They also did not want to go back of in me so soon. By this time I could tell I was up against the surgery clock, so many doctors came in to check me, and not just those doctors that make rounds either. Well from throwing up for about 4 days, pulmonologist came in and she was getting concerned that the fluid would seep into my lungs and cause damage. So she called in a gastroentoligist. My back was in paid form all that fluid sitting inside my esophagus. She wanted to drain it from my nose “WITH ME AWAKE”. Even she started telling me about the risk, that if she went to far that she could hit my newly formed stomach. I told her that I would think about it. Well the next day was the same process. I was so sad that whole day because, I could tell it was just a matter of days before they went back inside of me. Well that night I took my bible and I asked “God please let something stay down”. That morning my saliva started to say down (I tried not to get my hopes up high) well later on that day some ice chips stayed down. By this p point it felt so good to keep something in my mouth, this was day 6 by the way. Well the next day they had me try to eat some jello and broth well guess what “IT STAYED DOWN”. So my doctor came in that evening and he said “has anything stayed down” and I said “yes (looking a little nervous)” he said well you can go home”. I thought he meant the next day, he was talking about now. I was so happy that I almost started crying. My mother also hugged him. I think had I went 1 more day back to the operating table I go. The power of faith and prayer. We still don’t know what happen, but the guess is major edema that closed up the opening form my esophagus to my new pouch.

Being Home

Now that I am home have had some funny things going on with my body. I have Keratocnus, which is an eye disease. My condition worsened after surgery, my body is numb to the point that when I bump into something I cant feel the pain until the numbness has worn off.

09/28/05 Update….Sorry I am not one to update all the time. But its seems that the numbess has worn off and as of today I have lost 25 LBS. I had hoped for more. I cant like I have not really incorporated fitness into my plans. But will, I have had some personal drama lately. Oh yea I cant wait to get out these 3’s. So as of right now I am 321.

October 21, 2005

Well I went to the doctor and I am down 35lbs. Let me say that I am greatful, but I know I could have lost more. I have not been working out like I need to and not getting in my water and protein. It’s a struggle but I sit back and think wow I have never lost 35 lbs in my life. I am really trying to change this I am 10 lbs away from my first real goal. I can’t wait to leave the 300 lbs for good. My clothes are getting baggier, but I really don’t see that big of a difference. Other people can tell in my face. I guess when you are so big you need to see something drastic to see results. For anyone that is a new pre op the journey is not easy and I am still pretty new out but I cant wait until I can do more youthful things. I have not had any more weir complications like I had before. THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!. My knee pain has almost gone away I am so happy about that. I will try to update more often. I need to continue to give thanks to GOD, the same way that I did before the surgery. I want my blessings to continue. Well I need to got to bed. I just got back from the Gym not to long ago. Currently 310.

Noel

Oct. 30 2005

Well I am 8lbs away from my first real goal getting under 300. I cant want to get out of the 3's. For me this is a big milestone I am still shocked that I ever made my way to the 3's. But with the mircle of this surgery and help on my own half I will be saying by to them soon. I have started going weight training and really tring to get in my protein. Its hard but it can and will be doing. I am still not to the point to where I love working out but I hope to get there. Well I guess thats all for now. I will update again when I reach my 1st major goal.

Noel

November 12

Well I went for my work out today and the scale read 300.9 I am so close to being under 300. I cant wait!! When I started this surgery I was a 26 but I crammed myself into a tight 24. I was at Wal-mart the other night since I will be buying jeans there sooner or later and I fit a 22 they fit pretty good. I even had some hips in those jeans. My pants now are sagging and my panties look like a diaper. I also have "0" booty so thats does not help the problem. I have really been pushing myself to get in my protein water and vitamins. I know this is helping me drop the pounds. I work out on a regular basis now. Just 1 more pound to gooooooooooooooooo.

Noel

November 20 2005

Well I am officially out the 3's I went to work out and the scale said 295.5. I am so happy this is my first major goal. Now I am patiently waiting for my clothing size to really move. This is one time when I really want to leave my 20's.

Noel

Jan. 2 2006

Well i need to get back in the swing of my working out, I weighed myself today and I am 275.5, I hadnt worked out in about 2wks (which i worked out today). I dont want to make resoltions but I want to commit to stay fit, and get in this PROTIEN. I need to lift weights because my skin its starting to look saggy in some areas. Oh well night night.

Noel


April 18 2006

Well I am close to that 100 mark but I think i weigh around 249. So thats pretty close. I have been having a pain for over 2 mos and we are trying to see what the problem is. I will update my profile with my findings.


Noel

May 31, 2006

I have not posted in a while. I am now weighing 238 according to my doctor’s scale. I normally use that as my official weight loss and use the one at 24 hr fitness as my progress it’s not that big of a difference between the two. So that puts me at 109 lbs gone, and tomorrow will be my 9 month out. My loss I feel could and maybe should be a lot more. I have never been good with the protein, but I stayed regular with my exercise. So right now I am in a size 16 misses my breast have went from a 46DDD to a 42DD. My goal size is 11/12 and to be about 175lbs.

I have tapered off recently due to a medical issue related to my weight loss surgery, I think. Here is what has been going on I started to experience this dull pain around my lower to upper left abdominal area the pain started out mild, and now its severe. I have been going back and fourth to my surgeons office, and the ER a couple of times. I have had abdominal ct scans, endoscopy in which they had to do a dilation, then there was the wonderful upper GI. All the test are coming back with nothing. So finally I was sitting at work and couldn’t take the pain I went to my surgeon’s office and at that point we discussed surgery. He explained to me that this may not solve the problem but sometimes you have to just go inside and look around with a camera.

So on May 18th I had a surgery in which he said I had lots of excess scar tissue, along with adhesions those were removed. He also said a part of my intestines were twisted, this was done as an outpatient procedure. I was in pain and I really should have stayed all night. He used 3 of my surgery sites, and did a new incision under my navel. Guess what I am still having that problem that prompted me to have the second surgery. The pain is intense it starts at the left mid stomach area and radiates to my back it feels like it’s on fire and I am being stabbed with a hot sharp knife. At this point I don’t know what to do, my surgeon’s assistant gave me some anti inflammatory medicine to see if that will help. I was starting to think its maybe nerve damage and so do they. I am so tired of taking pain meds, and nausea meds. I have not worked and I am trying to get my Short Term Disability, because it’s affecting my ability to work. And I don’t want to return back to work just to get fired for missing. I really hope I don’t turn into one of those people that will have constant surgeries or be in pain for the rest of my life. If anyone is reading this I still don’t regret this surgery, but people need to know the seriousness of it. So many brag about how they can shop, or many fuss about tummy tucks when there is really nothing to tuck. I just want to feel better. Yes right now I am upset so to those of you that brag etc., don’t take offense to what I am saying. Well on that note its time for me to try to get some rest. This update might seem a bit choppy only because all the meds are taking a toll on my head. I hope my next update will be better.

Noel

Nov 4th 2006 

Lets see its been a while since I have updated I have not had the time or the mental energy to tell all that’s happened.  Well as far as my weight buck naked im about 218 but on some days it says 220.  I cant seem to break out of these 200’s but I have not worked out either and I don’t always eat like I should, I have never been good with protein.  With my pain I pretty much can only do cardio..  This surgery has caused me to be in constant pain.  After surgeries in May lysomes of adhesions, and part of my small intestine untwisted, and gallbladder removal in June.  I am still in pain I have done every gi test possible to colonoscopy to mri’s of my head.  And still no answer.  This has taken over my life and sent me in a deep depression.  I went to a Neurologist and she didn’t find anything wrong with the preliminary nerve response test.  My surgeon thinks it might be some type of deep nerve issue.  I also went to al GI doc, and she thinks the same but I really don’t trust her because she only went by the notes of everything that he has done.  The pain is on my left side, it burns and feels like a stabbing sensation.  It sometimes shoots around to my back.  I take pain pills 24/7.  I just want one day with out pain.  I don’t regret this surgery but I do regret what it’s done to my body.  I have missed so much work because of it.  I now work a part time job and with God’s help I have been doing so for 2 mos.  People are shocked when I tell them, but my financials are not good do to missing so much work and paying for procedures.  So now my surgeon wants to send me to a pain management center.  I am trying to adjust that this is going to be the rest of my life.  The pain just continues to get worse, I don’t want to turn into a cutting board.  I now think that the other surgeries could have waited since it didn’t help my problem anyway.

 

As far as my weight my next main goal is to get below 200lbs my goal is to be 175 and I hope that would put me in a size 11/12.  But now 185 would be good, my reason for wanting to be 175 was so I could have a 10lb window to get up to 185.  Right now I am still in a good fitting 16 misses.  I did go and buy some shirts that I hope to fit into, and hope it would provide me with the motivation to loose the rest of the weight. So that leaves me with about 35-40 lbs to loose.  So if you have read this pray for me.

 

Noel

About Me
carrollton, TX
Location
30.4
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/01/2005
Surgery Date
Mar 31, 2005
Member Since

Friends 5

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