I am a 41 year old obese woman. My current weight is 294 lbs. Until the age of six I was a stick thin kid. In the first grade, I just kinda blew up! By the second grade I was wearing a bra and the largest kid in class. I went through all of grade school being picked on and called a horrible nickname. Freshman year of high school, I was 186 lbs, and determined to change that number. So, began my cycle of crash dieting. Through the remainder of h.s. I was about 135 lbs, but I starved myself to do it. I was popular though, so who cares, right? Wrong. After school, I began to gain weight and by age 21 ish I was my heaviest, 340 lbs. I hated myself. Starved and exercised to extremes and lost 140 lbs. Once I stopped starving and excersising like a fiend, the weight came back. And again I weighed 300 lbs. Fast forward to a few years later and I meet a guy. Starvation and extreme exercising begin again and I'm 176 lbs. I loved myself then. Still overweight but happy. The relationship didn't work out, but I did find my now husband, who suprisingly loves me now matter how much I weigh. He's loved me at 176 lbs and he still loves me at 294 lbs. Problem is, I don't love me! I have NEVER loved me, except when I was thinner. My health is suffering. I have arthritis in my lower back and hips. Asthma, fertility problems and a family history of diabetes and heart disease. I have to take this step, to insure that I'll be around to love the man who loves ALL of me....for a very long time.