NoMoreNikki

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One year ago today I was tired sick and ready for a change. I will never reget my decision. 138lbs later. I have been through alot of stres but I still tried. Struggled with losing and gaining and losing again but the fact is IM A BIG FAT LOSER!


I would do it all over if I had to!

Now I know the surgiversary feeling!

Things seem to be really down for me emotionally. These blocks are making it hard to focus on me. I just need to write today to get some things out. God please help grant me the strength to pull through.

OMG I can nto believe it have come a long way. The last month or so have been challenge! I have not been workign out 5 days a week like I was and been not as strict with the diet. I am starting today getting back on track. Even though the weight is falling off I always feel better when working out.  I can tell I worked out yesterday and shopping walk walk walk... I felt great even slept better. But I am still trying yea!

The past few days have been tough. Last week I did not go in the GYM. I am use to being in the gym 5 days a week and boy can I tell the difference. I Guess you need to fall off the wagon to realize how great the ride was even if it was bumpy. I am going back in the gym today, back on my protien and I mean business.

With back to school shopping  for the kids I have been so curious to try on clothes. I had a lot of clothes in my closet that were smaller and I did not wear before the surgery so I am wearing them now. Now some of those clothes are becoming too big and I want something new. I have always admired designer jeans but could never really buy the ones I wanted because of what I call “The FAT Factor”. The fat factor is when you are a Fashion Diva but can not get ALL the designer stuff because of the styles are not big enough in size. I remember watching The Tyra Banks show and she had the comedian on (cant remember her name right now) and she had a show on cable… she had G By-pass and lost a lot of weight. The lady said when your are big and a Fashion Diva you are into accessories and make up. Of course now that I am seeing myself on the loser side… I see my make up was always flawless, I had awesome handbags etc. Now I want it all over….. ok back on track here. So I had my daughter (s). OK my daughter and my soon to be step daughters at TJ Max w me yesterday school shopping. They were trying on all of the cute clothes, so I said what the @#$!. I finally got the nerve up to take a pair of jeans in the dressing room. A designer pair of Jeans. Please keep in mind when starting surgery I was wearing sizes 28 30 & 32. I picked up a pair of Jeans that I thought were size 24. I tried the jeans on and they came up over my hips, next my butt, then OMG I zipped them up. I was so happy I cant recall a memory like that clothes shopping. Then when I took the pants off they said size 21/22 OMG OMG OMG> IM SO EXCITED. Now I need to stay on track. So the next BIG goal will be no plus sizes. Until then Ill keep trying to stay motivated! BACK TO THE GYM! Holiday break is over!

 

 

Well I just got back from having my 3 month blood work and check up. I lost 72 lbs. WOW Im excited again. They said i was doing ok. I am going to start tracking what I eat and hopefully that will help. I getting closer to 100lbs gone and I welcome it!

Stay strong!

All good things come.

 

 

Im still tryig although I splurged and had a little more sugar yesterday than I should have. Back to the drawing board. I try to stay under 4 grams on everything I eat. It has been hard adjusting. So I am going to go work the guilt off on the tread mill. Sweating like a pig! Trying to stay inspired

My appointment is now on the 29th and I am excited to see how much weight has gone bye bye! I have been in the gyn everyday at work sweating it away. Still fighting to try and stay faithful on this diet and portions. Its hard but I still read the labels. Trying to stay encouraged

well its coming and I feel good. I been driving everyone crazy asking them if it looks like I am losing. I am having a hard time not wanting to eat now that I can eat more. Im scared I am just eating to eat even though I am still concious of my portions and labels. I really need some feed back I am down 66 lbs and counting. feeling good!

I would love to get some feedback from thoughs who are having eating challenges.

I thought I would be on here every minute but I am now back in the swing of life. It has been 2 months since the surgery and I am down 55lbs and I am feeling great. Every morning when my feet touch the floor I thank God and remember how blessed I am. I run over to the mirror to see if I am shrinking LMAO. yes I am down 3 to 4 clothing sizes and I cant believe it! I cant hardly imagine gowning down 3 or 4 more but it going to happen. I wanted to thank all of you who have posted kind things and wishes for a wonderful surgery and speedy recovery. It has been a ride. My emotions are all over the place but hey! Im getting better. I had to have Open bypass and was not happy about it but I am healing well. I swear it is hard trying to make the right decisions eating. but if I mess up I keep trying and think of the results. I wonder about food choices sometimes and if other had problems staying on track. let me know. More to come!

IM A LOSER!