Becoming visible

Feb 05, 2010

It's weird but lately people have been engaging me more at work.

Passing people in the hallway on the way in I get more eye contact, smiles and hellos, from women and men. In the elevator, people I don't know are striking up conversations with me and on the floor people are going out of their way to speak with me. People whose names I don't know are addressing me by my name.

It's like with each pound that melts away my person is becoming a bit more visible.

At this moment I don't think it has much to do with my confidence level which is lagging a bit. I've been feeling under the weather, my birthday is next week about which I am not pleased and I've been frustrated with things at work so I don't think that I'm holding my head higher or smiling more.

I think this has solely to do with peoples perceived value of me. The smaller I get the more they value me.

I don't feel angry or bitter about it, just a bit perplexed.

When I was pre op and immediately post op I wondered if this sort of thing would happen, if I would be valued more giving the same level and quality of care that I've always given.

I wonder where this will go. Perhaps within the next year I will be nominated for some nursing award doing nothing more than I always was doing.

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