ADVISORY!! EXPLICIT CONTENT!

1-25-07

God i feel old. My birthday is Approaching and when I realize all that I have done....it makes me feel happy. But it makes me also realize that I am getting old lol. Okay not that old. I'll soon be 27. So this new conversion thing didn't do to good to my story. It only got about a year worth of my journey. The rest is lost in cyberspace :0(...this saddens me. But the most joyful and bumpy roads happened in the first year, so I'm glad I got some of the old profile on here..

When I update I will update from recent to old. In my old profile I would update from old to recent....I think this is easier, especially for many that come on here for updates.

I am happy with life. I'm satisified with myself and all of my weightloss. I have a nutritionist and therapist and trainer and a combination of these things over the first two years have been a SUCCESS for me. Of course, i didn't have them all the time but every so often I go in for "REFRESHER" courses where they whip my ass back into shape!

I am maintaining at 151-153. I am single and no kids. I've found that I get hit on a lot but the guys I have dated all seem to be jerks :0(. OH WELL. Maybe one day I'll find me a good guy.

So the Chicago Bears are doing big things in this city. First it was my White Sox. In case you don't know, I'm the biggest baseball fan ever EVER. I love my white sox. I'm not much of a football fan and I am NOT a bandwagon rider, whether or not they are going or win the superbowl. But i wish them luck.

Okay now I must get back to work! As you can see by the picture on the left, I'm really busy lol.

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BELOW IS MY TRIAL......AND JOURNEY TO BECOMING WHOLE AGAIN!



Hello all. I am GRACIE, I am a Nurse and I am 24 Years old with NO children.
We'll I can't believe I'm going to actually have this surgery. I've read hundreds of members profiles. I cried through some, as I too, lost the battle against the bulge. I felt the feelings that most of the people on here feel about their weight.

I've been a chubby bubby since around the early teens. I can't say I was a fat baby, because I wasn't. I was thin throughout PreK-5th. It wasn't until 6th grade that I started to feel that I wasn't like the other girls. My clothes weren't the cute flowery shirts, more like loose t-shirts. I had long beautiful hair that I always had in braids and played with boys. I was "Fat" but athletic. Weird. I was called Roseanne Barr. (That was her name before all those husbands) I cried when I came home.

High school, I seemed to gain 20lb every year. By my college years, I was huge. I remember one day crying because someone asked how far along I was (They thought I was pregnant!)
Throughout many years, I yo-yo dieted. Would lose great amts. of weight all to gain it back with more. My Maternal side of the family are obese. My paternal family aren't. I don't have any issues with my health. I sometimes ask myself. How can I be MORBIDLY OBESE and be healthy? My job is a hectic one.

There are many goals that I'd like to achieve in my life. One of them is to finally conquer this weight battle. Although, some might say, that I'm doing this all for cosmetic reasons, I argue. I want to be able to live to 30. I want to one day, walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing. I want to be able to be a NORMAL person. I feel that I might as well start now, that I'm young. I have a pretty active life. I feel that this surgery will be a great tool to help me achieve my ultimate goal.

The risks of this surgery scare me a bit. But as they say in a hospital, if your aren't scared, your not living. It's a normal feeling. I've understood the risks, and YES I am willing to still do this surgery.

Unfortunately, my insurance has an exclusion for anything that has to do with weight loss. I have appealed, but there is nothing that can really be done. I will be self-pay. Yes, that's an extreme measure. In the long run, My life is like a NEW CAR! A five year loan won't hurt me if I"M STILL ALIVE! Right?
Well thank you all for reading this!
Wish me LUCK!

11-4-04
Well I got my surgery date, pending my loan approval. The surgery is Dec. 6, 2004. Having the LAP-RNY! I have to do very little pre-op testing which according to my Doctor, is very rare. I'm "Healthy" yet obese..hehe its funny the way that sounds. Anyways he's been very supportive, and understands insurance isn't picking up anything.

My pre-op tests include, Pulmonary Function Test, Chest X-Ray, U/S GallBladder, EKG. Some lab work, which i can't do until we get closer to the actual surgery date. Isn't that fantastic!
Tomorrow I see my PCP and just need to do the EKG. She will then give me some orders, and I have the rest of the pre-op testing to do on Tuesday. I got the appointments made for early morning. I know how you can't eat fatty food or have anything to drink. So i need to have it early. I'm excited, but I have to control myself until I "Close" on my loan. Then I'll know everything will really be happening.

 

11/6/04
Today has been boring. I went to my PCP yesterday. I always try to book my appointments earlyyyy. I work in the medical field, trust me I know why. So I had my appt. for 8am. The very first patient. I was scheduled to have my EKG and have the doctor write up some orders so that I can have them done at the Hospital. I went in, got weighed (UGH) and had my BP taken. Everything is good.

The Medical Assistant asked what brought me in. I said I have to do an EKG, she asked why. I said "I have some Pre-Op that I need done, this is one of them" She asked what kind of surgery? I said "I don't mean to be rude, but I'd rather speak to my DOCTOR. She said "Oh, well i need to know so I can adjust the EKG machine to your surgery. (THIS BROAD HAS NO IDEA THAT I AM A NURSE, SHE'S ONLY A MEDICAL ASSISTANT...) So i said, "What are you talking about?" you don't have to adjust anything, I'm a Nurse. This must be something new. She just said, Oh well i just wanted to make conversation.

HMMM?? For all you that go to doctors' dont let those Assistants (which only go to school for a couple months to do that job) don't let those assistants get to you. If you don't feel like sharing, DON'T. The reason I say that is because I've had many people tell me that the M.A.s are usually rude to them or are insensitive. Now, I've had always had great experiences with those assistants, but this girl was new, and she just started off bad with me.

Anywho, I got pretty PISSED OFF, because I didn't think I had to explain what kind of surgery I was having. At least not to her. Doctor comes in, we talk. She does a physical and clears me for surgery. Her "assistant" comes in does the EKG. Which by the way I had to help her place the NODES. ughh.. I changed, and the doctor comes in and says, "You know this EKG doesn't look like it was run correctly, I need to do it over" I said what?? Listen I have to get to work, so she scheduled me for an EKG for the next time that I go in for my blood work. UM, HELLO that isn't until about the end of the MONTH. UGHHH. I told her she should get someone that knows what they are doing.

They probably think I'm a total bitch. But i think that was a waste of my time. My time is VALUABLE. I don't get much days off or LATE starts. Plus, I have no vacation time left. For my surgery they are giving me a "Leave of absence with pay" but that's stretching it man. Anyways, i just needed to vent...hehe.
I will let you guys know how my tests are on Tuesday afternoon. I'm going in for PFT, U/S Gallbladder, Chest X-Ray.
Have a good weekend everyone!

P.S Oh i'm indulging in this cupcake with buttercreme frosting. I know i know, but it will be a longggggg time before i can (if i can) taste this. :)...
~Nurse_gracie
 

11/11/04
Wow, Its been a couple days! Sorry. I've been pretty busy. I have things to pay and do. The loan is taking longer than expected. All papers were sent to Bank. Final closing should be in less than 2 weeks. (GOD plz, let us close earlier)

Well I went to have the Ultrasound of my Gallbladder. You know, that isn't painful, but it was uncomfortable. She pressed really hard on my sides. I'll have to remember that next time someone comes in and the Doctor orders an Ultrasound and needs me to help out. Shheesh! So anyways, I had it done, then I went to get my Chest X-ray. Ahh I had my scrubs on so all i had to do was take my bra off and she took the x-ray just like that... Ahh easier for me.

Well I will tell you that I didn't last more than 45 minutes FOR BOTH tests. I don't know if it was Professional Courteous, (Or the fact that it was 7am and no one was in line to be seen ...heheh :) Anywho, Was gonna have my PFT (Pulmonary FUnction test and guess what? Doctor said I didn't need it. Called to verify and NOPE didn't need to do it. Surgeon received my records from my PCP and she had sent a PFT from a couple years ago. It was good, and since I rarely smoke (One every couple months, socially) He decided I didn't have to have it done. Isn't that great. Well I have to do is wait for the day that I get my Blood Labs Drawn and then do that repeat EKG, damn Medical Assistant.

Well anyways, so I was feeling great! Was walking outside towards the parking lot and got inside the car (Which by the way is my Cuzn' car cause I lent mine to my dad cause my dad was had his in the shop) well what do you know? Damn car wouldn't start. Battery was dead...ughh of all mornings. Well i lifted the hood, or at least tried to. I swear sometimes guys are cheap. This guys' hood wouldn't open. The latch was Broken. Do you know how he made sure it closed? He had it locked from underneath the car. UGHHH, so much for opening it and having someone give me a jump. I had to call him on his cell. TWENTY calls later, still no communication. WHY THE FUCK do people who aren't working, don't pick up their cell phones?? UGHH... anyways i finally got a hold of it. He wasn't too thrilled about having to come, He had to get a ride over. He kept probing me about howwwww IIIIII made his battery low. Um, excuse me? This guys has had his battery low since a year ago. Everytime he leaves the car door open for more than 20 minutes his battery dies. Ahh your asking why would you use his car knowing this?? WELL i needed to get there and since his car was there, I thought it would be okay.

ANyways, it turns out that Since i used the radio, that is what caused the battery to die out completely. Does this make sense? It doesn't to me, but that's what he said. HOW was I suppose to know I couldn't use the damn radio...lol. Anyways, he had to go purchase a battery. I gave him 100.00 and he came back with the battery and some new "Gadgets" um, and he returned 10.00. Now, my dilema, Usually I feel that when someone uses a car its the driver's responsibility no matter what. But this bothers me. This battery has been low and pretty much didn't work since over a year ago. I don't feel that I should pay for this battery. I don't know I guess we'll see.

Anyways, So now i have to wait for the blood test and the loan to close... Everyone reading this please, please pray that I get this closed as soon as possible.
See, my scheduled surgery date is "PENCILED" in. The reason its penciled in, is cause they don't have any money to really say OKAY for sure. So i have up until that day to come up with the money. Which is good. But I still want to know for sure you know? Anyways, I guess that's it for now, I'll write in here when i can.

By the way, this protein thing that I'm seeing alot of in the Message Boards is really scaring me. HOw much protein do you have to intake? Does it have to be food? I mean what about in the liquid stage?? I still don't have an angel? Then again I don't come on here long enough to actually talk. I joined it to get my story out, share with others about their struggles and things like this, but I wish I could get an ANGEL.
Okay I'm babbling.
Take Care ALL!
Nurse_gracie
 

11/19/04
Wow, It's been a couple days! Sorry. I've been grazing! I am eating alot of bake goods. I'm feeling PUMPED.

Today was my nutrition class. I met with others that are also having their surgery around the same time as myself. Most of them are alot older. Actually everyone was. I wish I could've met someone around my age. I'm not discriminating, its just that most of the people are older with children and I don't know I'm babbling. Anyways, so we had to be there at 8am. I of course, was running late and left my home at 7:40am and its far!! It was cold and raining today. And guess what? I made it by 8:10am which is so weird, considering its awful outside, its friday and its the morning! I took the streets..hehe

Anyways, so they call my name. I saw Tony (RN). He's cool. He keeps it real and tells you how it is. HE looks over my chart...CHECK, CHECK, Oh.. your bloodwork? Ahh i'll be getting that done a week before my surgery. Okay he says. Internist will now see you.

Internist comes in. Blah blah tells me about the risks..and we started talking about my surgery and how its going to change me. Then i noticed my chart. I gained weight! Yes, i gained 6lb. Granted I'm on my monthly visit but still....I don't usually retain thatttt MUCH. hehe. Anywho, so we are all finished seeing the doctor. We are all directed to go downstairs to a conference room. We go in and see a table with a bag filled of goodies, and a spirometer...ughh...

I look inside, I find a COUGHIN' Bear. His anme is BARI BUDDY. He's cute and he's going to help me when I recover. Yes, I have already grown attached to this coughin bear. I need all the help I can get.

Tony comes down and we start talking about our surgery, more details, and take a quiz. we take a break and then the nutritionist comes in. Lisa is great! she's so nice and she answered all our questions.

I'm glad I went today. I'm still a little apprehensive about this really happening. I thought I would "Close" by now, but there are problems with some court papers. It goes back from when my parents had their divorce. Apparently, my dad was to give my mom 50% of the home or so. Well he passed it on to me and so now I'm trying to get a loan and this is coming up. It's stressing me out. I smoked a cigarrette the other day because of this. I KNOW I KNOW.. Especially me being a nurse, i know better than this. IT's not like I'm a smoker, but when i get stressed I'll smoke a cigarrette. No excuse, ughh i'm mad at myself.

Anywho, so this stuff is coming up and I have been going to downtown trying to get the divorce papers from my parent's divorce and then getting my own court papers (the deed that is my name) so anyways were trying to get this straightened out... I really hope I'm able to get this loan. Hopefully know before Thanksgiving.

I'm so mad, sad and just antsy. I hope this goes through. i'm tired of being fat. I go on here and read people's profiles and they make me happy for them, sad for me. I don't want to get older with this weight. I feel that I am at an advantage with my age, no kids. we'll see. Everyone Pray for me.

Next, I have to wait for the LOAN (WHich is approved, they are just waiting on this stupid paper work to be reviewed.)

Nurse_Gracie
 


11-25-04
Happy Thanksgiving to you ALL!

Wow, where do I begin. Well, I wrote this before, but somehow my computer disconnected from the internet and guess what? Yup, I didn't get to save what I had wrote. So here I am trying to remember everything I had written on here.

ANywho, the important thing is that I "CLOSED" on my loan last night. He actually did an exception for me, because I wasn't suppose to close until next Tuesday. THANK GOD! So I "CLOSED" and now I have to wait to get the actual check. I hope they can WIRE it to my bank account. It would be so much easier if they did. That way I don't have to worry about the check having to clear.

I am still optimistic, I KNOW I KNOW. I am about a week and a half away from being a new person. I'm so excited and frightened all at the same time.

I have to fight my mother in court, I guess. My lawyer will draw up some papers. I swear if she's the kind of mother I think she is, she will fight me for half of this house. Thank GOD that I was still able to get this loan. They said that whatever happened between my mother and father has nothing to do with me. But I'm sure she will sue my dad and well I can't be bogus to my dad. If she does sue and wins, I'll sell my home and give him half. I have to, he's my dad. I would do that for him. I owe him EVERYTHING. I became a NURSE because I wanted to be able to take care of my dad when he gets older. I live with him. I have pushed my life aside for my dad. I was engaged for 4 years. I didn't marry him because I wasn't ready to get married. I'm only 24!!!

My dad has always been there for me. I don't want to leave him alone. I told him when I do marry, I will still visit him and take care of him if he'd like. Although, my dad has always expressed to me and my brother that he'd like to move back to mexico when he retires. He already got his home built there for my grandmother and that is where he plans to retire. My grandmother is 89 and will turn 90 (GOD willing) in April. There is a huge FIESTA planned in mexico for her.

I can't wait for all these things to happen. I'm so excited. 2005 will be a great year for me, I can just feel it. Everyone please pray for me that everything goes well.

I have already written my "GOODBYE" letters. Who knew those could be so emotionally draining? Well I know what you are all thinking...BE POSITIVE. I am, I just need to make sure some ends are tied just in case. I also know my family knows how I feel about them, I just want to make sure I really put it in paper. I will burn that paper at my 1 month post-op. I promise.

Well, this thanksgiving I'm thankful to my dad and brother. Without them, there would be no "ME". they have supported me through my wacky times and my emotional times. They have laughed and cried with me. They know of my aspirations and struggles. They understand this is for ME. I have to do "ME" for a change.
I hope that at this time in one year, I will be at goal. I'm actually confident that I will be. I can't wait till my re-birthday Dec. 6, 2004.

Take care and thank you for taking the time in reading my journal. I hope that I have touched at least one person's life in one way. These journals helped me when I struggled, I hope these journals help someone else. Achieve your goals, don't be afraid to dream. And never listen to someone when they tell you that "You can't achieve your goals."
I have to put my hospital list together. I have about a week and a half to go. I have nothing. So i have to go shopping. Monday I take my final LABS and then I will be set.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Gracie
 



11-29-04
Hello all! Well Today I had my day off. I went to my PCP to have my final labs, urinalysis and EKG done. Perfect. Now I have to wait till Wednesday to get the results and have it faxed over to my surgeon. Mind you, my surgery is in ONE WEEK! Talk about Crunch Time. I have already gotten my list (YUP, Checked it TWICE) and Wed. I will go shopping for my hospital Things. The Groceries, I will not buy until Saturday. I will check tomorrow to see if they were able to wire the money in. Pray everyone. That's all for now, I'm antsy and can't be at the computer for a long time.
Gracie
 


12-5-04
Wow, where do I begin? Okay so my labs came out okay. I got my surgery clearance on Wednesday sent over to my surgeon. On Thursday I got the suprise of my life. The money was wired to my account. WOOHOO!

I sped to the bank. CHECK. Got the Certified check for both the surgeon and the hosptial. I called the surgeon's office. Donna the woman in charged, would be there until 5:30pm that evening. Mind you that my surgery will be MONDAY. So I rush through traffic. Got to the office, door locked? Lights off? My heart started pounding.

Then I see light from behind the glass (where patients see the office.) It's DONNA. I knocked. She answered the door with a huge smile. She's such a sweetie. She said she locked it because random people come in to ask for directions...LOL.

So I paid that and she made the reservation for my surgery. She told me a nurse would call me to ask me some questions on Saturday and that she would tell me what time I am having my surgery. I then went to the financial department located in the hospital. They were so shocked when I gave them that huge ass check. So I got my receipts and I'm off...happily of course. I felt a huge ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders.

On friday I pampered myself. I had a pedicure and manicure. I had my eyebrows waxed and trimmed. I went to the hair salon to get a hair cut..only a trim to be honest. Well I got there and guess what? It's their anniversary and I was the 25th person to walk in the door. Not only did I get my hair shampoo'd, cut and blow dryed, but I got a facial.

I then went to Wally World (walmart) and bought tons and tons of JELLO-SF of course. I bought crystal Lite. I went to GNC bought my vitamins and my nourishair vitamins. I also purchased ISOPURE and geez...that is mighty pricey. I paid 49.99 for a 2 week supply. Hmm...

I also had some taco bell and white castle and subway. I KNOW I KNOW... but I ate one taco supreme. Two white castles no pickle. And I shared a 6-inch sandwich with my two nephews. So it wasn't as bad as it sounded. Either way, HECK i'm happy I did that for myself.

Saturday- I ate beef tongue tacos. You know its sounds disgusting, but its really good. I ate that for brunch. Then for Lunch/dinner I ate some burger king- a whopper with cheese with fries.

Today-I screwed up big time. I ate a Lean Pocket ham and cheese. Well thank god i ate this early morning. I am on my liquid diet today. I talked to my doc and its okay as long as I keep the liquid diet up for the rest of the day. Trust me, I will. I've come this far to screw it up with this damn food.

I went on a graze this weekend, but I'm proud of it, because I know that I will not want this after the surgery.

SO far so good. I'm not too hungry. I'm drinking water, water and water. I'll soon be a MERMAID.

We'll wish me LUCK...I'm off and when I post on here, I will be on the LOSER side. Take care and thank you for stopping here and reading my journey. It has been quiet intresting.

A special thank you to KAREN D. of Chicago, IL. She has the same surgeon and has answered so many questions and offered so many tips.

Gracie
 



1-8-05
Happy New Year ALL! Wow, a new year a new me! Where Do I begin? First and Foremost I will say that I apologize for not updating this sooner. I have not really had a wanting to do anything.

I'll start with my surgery day. I was running late for the hospital, I was suppose to be there at 6am and didn't get there till 6:30am....I know I know. The nurses' made a joke, she's a nurse, no wonder she's late, even for her own surgery. Yea, guess thats true. So I go in and dress into those enormousssssssss GOWNS...sorry bubs, but those gowns were HUGE. Got into bed (Which at first were comfy), then my surgeon came in and talked to me and cracked some jokes.

I was wheeled into that cold cold room with a bunch of smiling faces and it looked like i was in an episode of ER, all kinds of different ethnicities in that room.

Next thing I remember I was being wheeled out and I was asking "DID HE DO IT LAP"? "Yes replied the nurse, it went very well. Got into my room and rested.

A few hours later a nurse was tryin to get me to get up and walk...i did as i was told....and felt nausea right away. After a day I realized it was the stupid morphine pump making me sick. I stopped taking it and noticed i was able to do laps around the nurses' station. I was let go after two days. I went in Monday morning and came out wed. morning.

I was quite tired at home, and uncomfortable because i didn't have a recliner. sleeping was horrible, and i wasn't taking my loretab. I was trying to be "Strong" and do without.

A week later I started having chest pains and the doctor put me in the ER. He wanted to rule out a PE or a Leak. Both test went great and there was no problem. He thought it could be gas...UM, what?? GAS?? I was quite upset that I was in the hospital...actually VERY upset. But I guess he does what he does for a reason.

It is now one month post-op. THings have been challenging. I've lose 30lbs. I feel a bit better but still have pain on my right lower side where the biggest incision was. I have nausea and we'll have had one dumping episode with milk at two weeks out. I am able to eat yogurt and cheese, so i doubt that I am lactose intolerant. Who knows...but I ain't tryin milk anytime soon.

I am recovering slowly, I wish it wasn't this slow. I thought having LAP would make my recovery fast but I guess everyone does recover differently. This was my first surgery and my doctor says sometimes mentally it takes us "BABIES" longer to recovery because we don't know what to expect and we are afraid to move around. And yes, that is true.

THe food part is really hard. I must say that anyone reading this that hasn't done this surgery. Do your homework. And even then, this shit is no JOKE. I know many have heard this before and just brush it off. No seriously, this shit is not only physically and mentally but spiritually. You need to have yourself really look at yourself and wonder if this is right for you.

At this stage (and I know months even years from now I'll look back at this and say heck what the fuck was I thinking saying that) but at this stage, I feel that maybe I shouldn't have gone so drastic. I wasn't huge, I did this as a Prevention kinda thing. I was thinking I should've done the banding, but again, I KNOW months from now when I am at goal, I'll say heck.... I'm glad I did it. For now, I must be honest and that's how I feel.

Until next time Take care of yourselves (OMG, I sound like MR. Rogers' Neighborhood) hehehe,

Gracie
 



1/25/04

Hello all viewing my Page! Thanks for stopping by. We'll I've been doing good. I'm now 7 weeks post-op. Still have some minor irritation on left side. It's called ITCHY hehe. But I know that's a good thing. I am still relaxing at home. Driving myself nuts. I want to go back to work... We'll see what my HR dept. says. I have a 15pd. restriction. Working at a hospital, that's not a good thing.

I visited my PCP. Had my annual exam including Pap Smear. God, that's so uncomfortable. The breast exam always makes me tickle..Geez. What a nerd, I know.

This year is going great. My weight hasn't dramatically gone down, but my scrubs... I went yesterday to get them tailored. She's gonna make them SMALLER. I had already taken some in to her two weeks ago. She saw me yesterday and said again?? and asked.. what are you doing to lose so much weight. lol..
I said "No these are different scrubs." For now, I'm being thrifty, because I'm not about to pay for new scrubs only to buy new ones a month from now. I'll just tailor them then once I hit a stable weight, I'll buy a new wardrobe. :)

I've been getting only 1.5 miles. Yea, I know. But man its been cold outside. I don't have a treadmill. Kinda wish I did. I have a total body Plantium Weider.. It has rowing machine and weights its really cool. BUT, i can't do that stuff yet. Only thing I can do is walk. And I'm not about to pay for the gym, if I have my own "Gym" at home. It just doesn't make sense for me to do that for two months. Yea, buddyyyy call me cheap. lol

My birthday is coming up soon. Feb. 7, 2005. I turn 25. I will be celebrating at FRIDAYS'. I'll be able to eat by then most foods. I'll be looking at the atkin diet menu :).. Wish me luck.

I have a special man in my life now. :).It's funny how communicating with someone and you never notice them in that kind of way. I had been communicating with him via e-mail and phone since he joined the Military back in 1999. We always had a bond since childhood and I still remember my ex getting extremely jealous or mad when I'd talk to him. It's true what my mom used to say. Sometimes the love of your life could be someone you never looked at in that way. Or right under your nose. Now, I see david and wow, I'm just DUMB-founded. I'm not IN LOVE, but I do love him, i always have. We've been best friends for more than a decade! He hasn't been home since 2001. Seeing him again brought back fond memories and well...FEELINGS. He expressed the same..so we'll see where this goes. :).. It's already starting to be a great year!
We'll he's always been there. He's been in my life since I was in Grammar school. I am enjoying his company. He's home from Italy. He's deploying in April to IRAQ :(... So I'm spending as much time as I can with him. David, you hold a special place in my heart.. THank you for being my best friend, my supporter.

Thanks!
Gracie
 



1-31-05

Greetings to you all viewing my page. Today is the LAST day of Jan. Making the most of it. So today I went outside to get my new IDs. Guess what? It's CLOSED. Um, when did they start this? ANywho, after that I went to :SIGH: Woman's workout World. I said I wasn't going to do, but I need a treadmill. It's too cold outside man.
Afterwards, I started getting hungry. It was already noonish. So I decided to go to Burger King and buy myself a Grilled Chicken salad. I might say it was pretty good and went down pretty good. I still feel that I ate too much. I ate about 1/4 of the salad. That's about 3oz of chicken and about 4oz. of lettuce, maybe less. My surgeon says not to worry about it, but I dunno. I still feel like I shouldn't be eating so much. I only eat within (sometimes way before) the 20min. rule. And I eat until I feel slightly full but not full where I want to gag. So we'll see, if my weight continues to be slow, then I'll have to talk to my surgeon about this.
So I'm off work. Maybe until MID-Feb. My HR dept. felt that I should be off until my surgeon gives me a no restrictions clearance. GO Figure. I'm using this as a vacation. I'm going to try my best to workout...walking that is.
David and I are doing great. He's such a sweetie. :)... But he's leaving sooner than we or shall I say I thought. Looks like MARCH is D-DAY. Not much else happening.
Until Next Time! Tootles!
Gracie
 



2-6-05

Super-Bowl Sunday. UGH! I hate football. LOL. Either way, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and rooting for the Patriots.
I'm excited today. Woke up with lots of energy. I had my protein drink and then about an hour later, started drinking my fluids. GOD, this food is agonizing sometimes.
So its about "Dinner" time here. I just finished a Lean CUisine. left maybe about 2oz. I think their is about 8oz of food. Not sure. Maybe less.
The scale hasn't moved for about two or more weeks. But I'm losing inches. I have upped my water intake and increased my weight. We'll see where that leads me.
I hope to be at least 170 by June. That's my goal. My brother is getting married so I want to see what I can do.
I can't wait until I go back to work. Being home, really makes me think about food alot. I know that once I'm on a routine schedule, I will be okay. Also, once I'm able to do my weight training, I'll begine to lose more inches and pounds.
I tried a few new protein drinks. I tried two proplete (sorry if I misspelled) the flavors were "Bananna Creme" and Peanut butter. I loved the Bananna Creme. The PB tasted Awful. I also tried the Matrix Vanilla. It tasted like HORCHATA (Rice Water). So I ordered some Matrix Vanilla.
I tried some crackers on Susan Maria's site they were like cheese crackers herbs on it. GOD those were AWFUL. Don't recommend those. I hope to soon have some information on where I can buy my matrix without having it delivered. I'd like to be able to walk into a store and buy it. We'll see if my "Contacts" will come through with that.
Nothing else is new. David is still here. He is leaving in early March :(... We'll be fine though. I know it.
LOL for those asking if he's my boyfriend (YEs I've gotten emails asking lol) NO DAVID is NOT my boyfriend. We are Best Friends, but have very strong feelings for one another. Not sure how that works. Or what we will do. I'd like to take things one day at a time.
He understands that I'm just not ready for a relationship. I just came out of an 8 yr. relationship. He's not ready for one either, because of what he does for a living. He knows right now he can't committ to how he'd like to. So I guess we both are not ready for anything serious. We'll just take it one day at a time.
So I guess for now, that's it. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the week.

Take care all,

Gracie
 



2-15-04
Evening all viewing my page. I am doing great. Yes, I will finally admit, this Surgery was defitnetely something I DON'T REGRET :).
Valentine's Day was PERFECT. Had two dozen red roses. Two huge balloons and ten regular balloons. Had dinner at the John Hancock building. But the best part was my horse carriage ride around downtown. I was in cloud NINE. My sweetie is leaving in a few weeks. I'm sad but happy that we are establishing something. Of course nothing is in stone, his job, his location and we'll... I just got out the relationship. So for now, just taking it one day at a time.
Scale? I'm boycotting it. Not weighin myself until my 3month post-op.
I've gotten my period....YEA!!!!!! LOL. I know, but hey my periods have always alwaysssss been regular. So when I suddenly STOPPED in Nov. Dec. Uh, yea, got scared. So now in Jan. I got it and now again. Hopefully I'm back on "TRACK".
For my birthday I got my treadmill so I walk on it everyday. I do 2 miles in the morning. 1 mile at night. Doing great.
I'm not doing the WOman's workout world... YES I DE-JOINED LOL. I got my refund back...I'm straight!
I love my treadmill. It's a carb burner counter. Has an EKG built in.....not literally LOL.. Pulse monitor. Fan that has two speeds. Fat grams, calories counter...Shall I go on? It's GREATTTTT!!!!!!!!
What else Can I tell you? For now, I'm having fun. Getting my liquids in, my protein in.
Lately i've been eating A LOT of SPICY/HOT food. YUM!!!
Oh and veggies, GOD i love them :) I used to hate them. They are my new best friends. Literally, when I'm shopping, I can look at veggies and my mouth gets watery for them. I can picture that with some chicken or tuna.....MAN. Isn't it great?
Okies, GOTTA GO...

Gracie
 



2-17-04

Hello All! We'll today is my "PAMPERING" day LOL. I did my two mile on my treadmill, jumped in the shower and now I'm letting my hair dry. I went the other day to cut my hair. It's now about two inches from my shoulders...Uh, yea that's short for me.
I'm doing my deep conditioning hair treatments...
Today is great. I've noticed that now when I do my walks, after exercising I feel soooo GOOD. DUH.. it's the release of all those "Munchkins" in my body...LOL.
I'm going to get my Manicure and Pedicure today. Then I'm off to get my lazer treatment. I'm currently in the process of getting a tattoo removed from my right ankle. DON'T ask..LOL. I've had that small tat since I was 17. Thank GOD it's slowly fading. It's not as dark as it used to be. But still noticeable.
I'm still avoiding the scale, but Today I "FEEL" lighter LOL.
I can't wait to go back to WORK...:(.. I will be having my appt with my doctor in less than two weeks. I'm sure he'll clear me. I'm able to do everything.
Everyone is getting sick around me, I must AVOID them like the PLAGUE.. I'm not trying to get sick right now.
We'll see what's up. That's all the updating. Still eating my protein shakes. Going to order the big jug of Proplete Bananna Creme. What else? I think that's it. I'll let you guys know how I'm doing at my 3 month. I'll be pretty busy for the next week and a half, my sweetie is leaving :0( So I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can.

Everyone, Take Care.
-G-



3-1-04
Hello to all viewing my page. I've been a bit busy to answer all the emails I've gotten. Some really nice about military men. THanks to you all. David and I are doing great. I just got home, we spent the whole day today :0). I saw my surgeon today. I had my 3 month post-op visit. Blood results were good. My weight is now 214. Not bad. He wants me to weigh myself every week :(.. David didn't think that was a good idea. Me neither! Then'll become obsessive. I think I will do it every three weeks. So I won't know for another three weeks what I weigh. I'm still doing my treadmill. Only now, I will be doing more concentration on weights. I will also start doing my pilates and crunches. BIG TIME. I want to be down to 199 by April. I think I can handle that. We'll see.
I'm cleared to go back to work. YIPPE YAYOOO! I start Thursday. Also, thursday david leaves for Iraq. :0(.. The good thing is that they are telling them that they might only be there until the summer. Which is better than Oct.
Tomorrow, I will be with him all day and spend the night there too. I'll drop him off (which will be very hard to) at the airport, and he'll be reporting to his station in North Carolina. Then I'll go to work.
My schedule (which I got today) looks very very BUSY! I have two on-call weekends before I go to Mexico. So If I don't come on here, or update, you'll know my tush is working hard. I'm also going to take my G-mat test in April 25. So that I can enter and start working on my Masters.
A special shout out to Norma.. Norma I really don't know where I'd be without you girl. I have come to know you a bit more and your cutie munchkin. Hope you get your package soon, so you can taste my favorite drinks. thanks for listening to me :0).





3-16-05
Hello all. Haven't had much time to update my profile. Been working my Ass off. I'm sick right now. Pneumonia. I'm on the Z-Pack and hoping I'll be alright. I'm down to 207 and feeling great. I exercise daily and am doing 200 situps daily. We'll sometime more to be honest. I do the 6second abs while watching tv. I'm suprise that I can do it, but I am. I've notice my clothes getting extremely big. It's getting to the point that I have to find new clothes, but I really don't because I'll outwear them in a few months.
Everything is going well. I ate a fantastic fish today. I'm not much of a fish person (we'll at least I wasn't pre-op) but now, this fillet by vankamp called garlic butter herb...wow! That's good. I'm still drinking my protein drink daily.
In my personal life, things are as could be expected. i'm more active and going out enjoying the single life. I went to a concert this weekend. Don Omar It's spanish reggae. And this saturday I'm going to another concert... We'll see how that goes.
Everything is great.. For now, that's all I really have to say. Everyone take care and keep enjoying LIFE.
-G-

3-20-04
Happy First Day of Spring!!!
We'll for you people that live in climate that pretty much is the same...LUCKY YOU! For us here in the COLD, WINDY CITY. We have Spring to look foward to.
Today I weighed myself... Down to 203. Very happy. I do believe my increase of eating (4x day).. and drinking has helped. Face it the situps everyday and exercise has HELPED! My arms are looking a bit sculpted LOL. My tummy is looking alot smaller...A LOT!
Thanks for stopping by and I'll be on randomly as my life is very busy. Work, play and getting ready for my vacation, so that means SHOPPING!!!
Take Care all
-G-
 






3-23-05
Below are my before and after picture after only 3 months post-op. The before picture is the very first baby i helped deliver...and was 270# there. The next picture I took today. My uniform is fitting me very baggy as you can see. So you can't see my Figure too well. WOW! FIgure? LOL. Yea, I have one now, but i'll try to get more fitted clothes. Currently 203#. 3 Months Post-Op total loss 67#..and Counting!!
 
5-8-05
Sorry. Just made it back on US soil. Was in Mexico for a MONTH. Totally unexpected. I had over 200 emails from ObesityHelp. Thank you all for inspiring words and those that were concerned. Didn't mean to worry anyone.
I'm doing great. Down to 185. I'm 5 months post op and 35 pounds till doctors goal but 45 till my personal goal.
Had a blast in Mexico. But ate horrible and *GASP* Drank too much beer. I know I know.. (I have a picture below, and plz. refrain from leaving comments on how "i shouldn't be drinking blah blah blah, I know this. I'm an adult and chose to do this. Concentrate on your success, and I'll concentrate on mine. Thanks.

Take care all.
 





5-13-05
Hello all. Wanted to let you all know that I'm doing great. The food is getting more tasty for me. I've noticed my taste buds "Awakening" Not sure if that's a good thing or bad. I guess we'll see in a month if I don't lose weight lol.
I went to have a dress made for my brother's wedding in a few weeks. It's exciting for me because I haven't had a nice dress made for me since I made my Holy Communion. I will take a picture on the wedding day.
I ran into my ex-boyfriend. We spent some time talking in the park, all was going great as friends. David is doing great! I correspond with him via email. I miss him very much. He still has a way of making me feel like I'm the most beautiful person in the world. He'll always be in my heart.
All of my clothes that I once wore are useless. Even the sweaters. They are too large. I have sizes 26/28 pants and shirts. If anyone's interested in some lane bryant clothes feel free to email me.
My favorite shoes don't fit me either LOL. It's funny how even shoes fit looser. I have about 34pounds to go till my Dr. Goal. And 44 pounds until I reach my personal goal of 140.
I am def. going to get breast implants, I have 585.00 saved up already and am saving every week. By next year I will have a pair of beautiful perky breasts lol. Not sure about the tummy tuck. My stomach is looking pretty good actually. I mean its' no flat toned stomach, but it's not too bad. Then again I don't have children so that stretch pouchy that most mom's get isn't there... We'll see though.
My arms are looking a little lose. But I can see the muscle definition trying to break through the flab LOL! :0)..
Anyways, that's all for now.
Happy Losing everyone!

5-19-05
Hello All. Today I'm off. It's a SICK day for me :0(.. So Last night I went out with a male friend of mine :0).. We watched a couple movies in his apt and decided we were both hungry. Since it was getting late I decided that I'd buy my "Dinner" and take it home with me. So we ordered from the drive-thru. He ordered a SALAD.. Um, ME?? I ordered a 4pc chicken Nugget and a Small Strawberry Milkshake..YEA I know! So He dropped me off at home, and went inside. I ate two nuggets and sipped my shake. About three sips later, I went into this sweating, heart pounding episode. I started vomitting (but nothing but froth was coming out) YES PEOPLE. I experienced my FIRST REAL...DUMPING. Before if i ate something, all my intestines did was gurgle..with disapproval. But not this time. This time was horrible.
Of course, I'm not coming on here to whine about what I did. I'm an adult and I CHOSE to do this. But I decided to share this in my journal, because I know they're people out there that will be reading this and I'd like to share all my good, and bad experiences. Sometimes you do have to learn "THE HARD WAY."
Yes, I've learned a valuable lesson...NEVER again will I even "TRY" to see what I can get away with. Today is a liquid diet day. Just to "Clean" me out lol.

6-8-05
Yesterday was my 6 month post-op appt with my surgeon. All went well. I spoke to him about my Viactive Multi-Vitamin Chewables. He said that would be fine to take. This morning my stupid scale says I'm back up to 178. Go figure. Yesterday I was 180. I give up lol. It can't be my menstrual I still have two more weeks before I get it. I have no idea what's going on. I have not bowel moved...so it could be that LOL.

Yesterday my surgeon was joking with me about my goal weight. He says anything under 150 he'd be happy with. I said I want to be 130 (not really i just wanted to see what he would say) and he said...NO WAYYYY You're not gonna get there! I was so shocked that he said that. I said "We'll I guess we'll have to bet on this because I will make it to 140 for sure. He said..I "Doubt that" I was soooo disappointed. THen he turns to me with a grin and says see "Your determined" Most patients would be okay with it. The more I tell you that YOU CAN'T, the more you'll prove me wrong, right?" Ahhh Dr. Cahill right you are LOL. So my goal is to make it to 140. I will "Prove" him wrong. Shhh Reverse psychology does work.
I also talked to him about the liquor and beer that I've been drinking. No, not on a daily basis. But when I go to clubs I do have a Tequila Sunrise. He said I was an adult and what I was going to do, was my decision. He said just to becareful. So now I feel okay drinkin it. lol.
My sweetie and I are doing fine. We'll refer to him as "This guy" because that's what i refer to him when I'm talking about him to my friends. I'm enjoying life and all its bringing me. I have taken that Family Act Leave...and will be returning to Mexico. I want to go to enjoy life a bit but also to take care of my grandma.

6-16-05
Wow, Where do the days go? We'll I'm doing okay I GUESS. I'm Yo-Yoin' the same couple pounds. So I have been at 173. I hope to stay there for NOT VERY LONG, and keep moving down. I'm sure once I start excersing it will start again. Yes, I have been bad. For the past week I have not exercised. I've been feeling REALLY REALLY tired. So I up'd my b-12 and hoping this will work. I'm really happy that I'm doing good. I'm now 3 pounds away from the century club. I'm sure I'll get there by next week. I have FINALLY noticed my weightloss schedule. I lose two weeks, then the next nothing.

I have gone shopping for some nice tops. Can you believe i'm a LARGE. And pants I'm now a 13. I can fit into a 12 if its Stretchy material. My shorts are Mediums. My scrubs that "this guy" bought me this weekend are MEDIUMS. I'm freakin' out. I have some cute black slacks in a size 11. I love that. I used to tear off the tags when i bought clothes, heck not anymore. I'm proud of those numbers.
My hair is still falling. Not AS much, but still a lot. I cant' wait for my hair to grow in. My Brother's THANK YOU gift for me is a full day at a spa. Then I go to Paul Mitchell salon and get my hair and makeup done. He asked me when i wanted to go in. I said I'd like to wait till Dec. That will be my one year post-op. I'm going to use that as a "MAKEOVER" type thing. I can't wait. If my hair is long enough by then, I will perm my hair. I always wanted my hair curly :0)..
We'll thank you for stopping by. Feel free to ask any questions. Oh and Donna, you are very welcome for all the clothes. It was no PROBLEM.
Take Care ALL!

6-17-05
Here's a Picture that I took of myself. I still can't believe the difference. I was so tired, but wanted to try on my skirt and shirt. I took a picture and wanted to share with you all.

6-19-05
I am 168! Yippeee 102 pounds GONE FOREVER! I can't believe it..Shoot I even jumped on the scale today with gym shoes and fully clothed and was 169. So I know I really am 168. I got my menstrual, so bring on the water retention...it won't be able to bring me down this week lol.

8-4-05
I am back and still holding at 158. 8 pounds from my doctor's goal and 13 pounds from my personal goal. Not too bad. It's getting pretty frustrating, but I'm happy with results. I didn't do so hot in Mexico as far as eatin wise. The tequila and drinks also could be a big factor why i haven't lost. I am doing a liquid diet today and gonna kick the weight back off. GUARANTEED!

8-20-05
So I haven't been the BEST patient. I am stuck at 158 but know that I'm losing inches because MY ass bought some SIZE 9 Jeans. Of course, I'm aware that some jeans (DKNY) run bigger but who fucken cares. I told my friend...don't rain on my parade. It's a fucken size 9!!!!!! It's been SOOO long that I can't even remember when I was ever a size 9.
Anywho, still in this weight. Struggling but I'm working out and WILL break this cycle. We will see. I have given myself the deadline of Oct. 1 to be at 150. So I think I can manage that.
The partying has continued. I'm just having so much this summer that I just can't seem to stop trying to drink. I have controlled it because I don't want my weight to go up or my liver to get fucked up over a few hours of good times. But boy o boy are they GOOD TIMES :0)..
I have met great people. Here in the states, and in Mexico. I have a picture below of a great guy i met in mexico. He's such a sweetie and hope to continue to be friends :0). Don't we look cute together though? Nah lol...


To be CONTINUED!


9-6-05
Today is a great day. David is coming HOME! He'll be coming and finishing the rest of his service helping out those people in the south affected by the hurricane. I'm glad he will be out of harm's way and back in the states. I will see him on Friday :)... I pick him up from the airport and he'll spend Saturday here and leave sunday morning down to Louisiana.
Today was also my twin nephews first day of school. They just started Kindergarten, they both looked frighten, because this wasn't the same school they are used to. They have been in school since the age of 3 but it was a lot farther and it was pre-school. Now its the REAL deal and they were a bit frightened. I stayed with both of them for a bit. Told them i'd take them to chuck-e-cheese if they stayed to play with the little kids. After awhile, they stayed playing and didn't notice me gone. I picked them up and wow, they couldn't STOP them from giggling and telling me all about the cool toys that the MAESTRA (Teacher) has in the giant red box.
I am at 156 and Candy over at our Dec. Surgery date Messageboard gave us all a great idea. We all decided to give a weight goal by Xmas. My goal is 140. So...I must really get started. I don't have much to lose, but you'd be suprised how hard 16 pounds is when you get so close to goal.
Below is a picture of some salsa that my cousin in mexico made outta 25 chiles de arbol. Yea that shit was FIRE! But it was delicious. Below that is my boyfriend's friend, luis. He's such a sweetie.
Stay Tuned...
Gracie

9-15-05
Today I go to the Doctor's office so that I can get a "Return to work" paper. Today is a great day. I weigh 155. Not much of a big difference. But I really think I will be hitting 140 by December. I took a picture of myself with my SHORTER hair. My hair does look fuller. But its short. I had my hair to the middle of my back...which was kinda long. But after so much hair falling and looking so thin, I decided to just chop it off and hope that it grows.

10-05-06
Today is a great day. I had a blast yesterday! I went to see my White Sox whip the SHIT out of the Red Sox. We had Red sox sitting right in front of us and boy o boy were they salty. White Sox won 14-2. Talk about crushing them.

Anywho, so I'm still at 153. Why the hell has it whined down? I dunno. But I know that I'm still NOT happy where I'm at. I know many would say...you've lost 117 pounds why aren't you happy? Well I am, but I still don't like what I see. Mainly in my stomach. I def. will get my boob job and arms. The rest can wait till a later time :0).
I met someone off the OH site. She is a patient of my surgeon and seems to be deadset on lapband. I hope she gets approved with my surgeon. He's the greatest. I did tell her to be open-minded on which surgery. She's a cutie and she's funny. I wish her luck. She really wants the lapband. I explained my surgery and she seems to be pretty scared about the RNY because she has seen nothing but negative things with people who've had RNY. I hope Dr. cahill will explain a bit more to her about RNY. I really think she will benefit mroe from RNY than the lapband, just because of her weight. Either way...hopefully Michelle will get approved and have her journey be a SUCCESSFUL one.

10-14-05
I'm at 151. 1 Freakn pound from Doc's Goal...and 11 pounds from my personal Goal. I'm sure I will do it by my anniversary in two months! My life has changed drastically. I've met great people and have surrounded myself with nothing but positive people.
My chicago white sox are doing great. I'm so happy that we have made it this far. Tomorrow I'm going to Six Flags FrightFrest with friends! It's also sweetest day!
Michelle has gotten approved for I think LapBand. Her big day is Oct. 27th! Good Luck to her!
I met another OH person. His name is Martin and is also a Dr. Cahill patient. He's a cutie and seems nice. We had late night dinner at a restaurant and we ate some good food.
Besides that, everything in my life is HECTIC lol...but that's usual for a nurse that works 12-17 hours a day!
Here's a picture that my friend took of me after an 18hour shift. yea..looked tired than a MOTHER! LOL.



Hope everyone reading this is doing great!
Take Care all!

Gracie


10-29-05
Today is Saturday! I'm off work and had me a BLAST last night. We went to a haunted house called STATEVILLE prision. IT was DOPE. Then we went to have drinks... I was suppose to just "Chill" at my house, but I always say that and always end up going out lol. I could never stand staying home on the weekend. Dunno why.
Michelle got her surgery (i think she did i havent heard from her) on Thursday! If your reading this michelle. CONGRATS!

Of course, you all know...CHICAGO WHITE SOX won the World Series. It's still a bit surreal. I'm sure we have all winter to soak it up and OF COURSE rub it in the Cub's face. HAHA!

Personally I don't think Houston wanted the series that bad. They gave us a good challenge. Their offense however SUCKED. They pitched okay...but really didn't do any hittings. I was dissappointed because I wanted a really HARD team to go against. Playing the ASS-tros was like taking candy from an INFANT!!!! Too Easy!

I went to Frightfest with a fellow OH member. He's a sweetie and he's fun to be around. If your reading this....HELLO DORK!

My life seems to be semi-complete. I have wonderful people who I surround myself with. I have a great career and seem to be doing great weight wise. I am weighin in between 149-151. Depends on the day. I have been at 150 for the past week.

I went to Game 2 of the World Series. I must say that we Chicago fans really are cold-blooded people. It was about 37-42 degrees and raining...with wind!! And that did not break our spirit. We were so happy! When Pualy made that Grandslam...wow! We were one happy crowd!

November should be a very interesting month for me. I have so much to be thankful for. I also have so many parties to attend. Every weekend I will be booked. lol. I'm glad that I'm fulfilling my duties as a Party Girl!

My diet is okay. It's not the greatest...but i'm only human. For the most part I'm pretty good about food. I have noticed that I'm starting to drink with my food...my friend emailed me yesterday with the same concerns. Girl, I'm with you on that. We need to stop.

Norma is such a sweet woman. I'm happy that I know her. Although she doesn't realize it, she helps me on my journey and supports me with her emails. So I thank You ms. Norma! LOVE YA! Oh and our sox beat your ASS-tros :) LOL. But i still love ya!



About Me
Chicago, IL
Location
26.2
BMI
RNY
Surgery
12/06/2004
Surgery Date
Nov 03, 2004
Member Since

Friends 5

Latest Blog 3
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