Ok2BaLoser
It's Almost Time!
Jun 17, 2015
So as the big surgery date quickly approaches I am finding myself wondering how in the world I let myself get to where I am right now. These last couple of days have been days of reflection for me. I am so thankful that my insurance is covering my surgery. This is a true blessing from God. I have gone through some pretty stressful situations in the last year. Getting a divorce, being a single mother to a 2 year old, and working a job that demands A LOT of my time. I always ate on the run. I see now that I never made time for the most important person in my life... ME! If there is 1 important thing I have learned it is that NO ONE is going to look out for me except for ME! I refuse to let myself wither away in my current state. My child needs me. I am not only doing this for myself, but I am doing it for him so that he will have his mom here to help him through the hard and stressful times just like my mom has helped me. If I could write a letter to me, I would tell myself to take control of my bad eating habits when I was an early teen. I don't want my son to pick up those bad habits. This surgery will give me the ability to take back control. I am no longer that girl in a relationship with the guy that doesn't care how big she gets. That was his way of making sure that no one else would ever desire me. It is okay to be accepting of someone my size, but he sabotaged EVERY attempt I made at losing weight. ALL OF THAT IS IN THE PAST. IT'S TIME FOR THE NEW ME. I want to see what I look like under all these years of not caring. I'm putting my foot down. I care more now than I ever have. I deserve to enjoy life and not let my weight control me.
Here's to the bad times, the eating just because it looked good, the hurtful words, the sleepless nights, the millions of tears, and the sadness I have felt due to my weight.... GOOD BYE FAT ASS. GOOD BYE ILL FITTING CLOTHES. GOOD BYE SEAT BELT EXTENDERS ON PLANES. GOOD BYE BOOTH FEAR. GOOD BYE STOMACH THAT GETS IN THE WAY OF ME TYING MY SHOES. GOOD BYE HURTING KNEES. GOOD BYE BEING SWEATY AND HOT ALL THE TIME.