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Celebrated my anniversary on the 27th and keep thinking about how miserable I was fat.  Losing the weight didn't fix my problems but it helped me to love myself.  I feel great and have alot more self confidence.  Working in KY and looks like I'll be there until October.  The site where I am working is literally a place waiting for an accident to happen.  Trying to be careful where I walk and not get too stressed over the lack of help.  I enjoy the work and since it's un-air conditioned and about 100 degrees outside it's definitely something that I wouldn't have been able to do at 240.  People there don't know about my weight loss and I don't feel that it's necessary to tell them.  Got told that I was prissy today because I like to start the day looking "put together"  - made me feel good.  I'm not prissy but like the fact that I can buy size 6 American Eagle jeans and not have to try them on before I buy.  I know that they will fit.  Found a wonderful store called Platos Closet and it's all resale with a focus on name brand junior clothes.  Love it. 

Time to catch up the blog.  Just got back from Myrtle Beach and got word that I'm to be in KY for about the next four months.  So...spent the day doing laundry and getting organized to go back out on travel.  I love this part of my job and I'm getting to see things that I wouldn't normally get to see.  Been to MO to see my Mom over Memorial Day, had a great time in Myrtle Beach (it was beautiful), and came home to have a birthday party for my daughter.  She turns 20 on June 21 so we always make a big deal out of her special day.  Course she thinks every day is her special day!!  Weight is still doing well and still in the same sizes - blew the budget in Myrtle Beach doing retail therapy.  Really need to get a handle on it.  No way can I wear all of the clothes that I've got.  I just love clothes shopping now - I need to just look and not buy but not having much luck at that.  The best thing for me to do is stay out of stores!!!

Still talking to my guy - he didn't make Myrtle Beach - too expensive for air travel and too far to drive for a weekend.  Oh well.  I enjoy him.

 

I'm almost 6 years out and the weight has stayed about the same - 138 - I'm pretty bad about shopping - I love Goodwill, resale shops, and outlet stores.  I can spend hours just going through the racks at Goodwill - scarfed up 6 pairs of capris last Friday.  I cleared out my closets earlier this year and I am restocking for summer!!!  It's so much fun dressing stylishly and I can shop by brand without trying things on - 6 in American Eagle, 4 at the GAP, and an 8 for my dress pants.  Medium in tops.
 
Met a special man in AA and we hooked up when I went to Huntsville, AL in January.  We had dinner and great conversation.  We have been friends for a couple of years and didn't try and approach each other because AA advises that you not get into relationships for the first year that you are sober.  So....I kept my distance but kept hoping.  Anyway I spilled the beans when he was dropping me off at my hotel and we decided that we would date.  We talk almost every day and had a wonderful weekend in Nashville the first part of April.  I cried when I had to leave.  We're hoping to get together again the middle of  June - I have a business trip to Myrtle Beach, he golfs, and I suggested he golf and relax while I work and we could enjoy each other in the evenings.  Hope it works out.  I'm pretty afraid of messing it up and know that he genuinely likes me as a person and finds me attractive.  YEAH ME!!!!  I've started taking more of an interest in my appearance and I feel wonderful.  Just have to keep my head in the game and not go wackadoo by getting all insecure.

RNY is the best thing that I ever did and I thank God for allowing me the privilege.  I'm finally growing up and realizing the benefits of dealing with my issues.

Trust me if you have any inclinations towards thinking that you don't drink like others do then be especially aware of the dangers of alcohol post op.  I've been pulled over and got a DWI - not a pretty picture - I was so blacked out that I don't even remember getting pulled over and put in the cop car.  Snapped t in the jail when they were trying to do the breathalyser - I stupidly refused and ended up losing my drivers license, got one year probation, and have to pay monthy fines for three years to the State of Texas.  I had never been in trouble before (just lucky) but this is what it took for me to go really off the deep end and I ended up violating probation and ended up in a state mandated rehab residential program for three months.  This was in August 2007 and I'm just now getting ready to celebrate one year of sobriety.  I becamse the type of alcoholic that I thought I would never become - hiding the liquor, putting my children in the position of being a parent, and almost lost my family and job in the process.

I'm blessed that I didn't kill anyone and had several minor fender benders before I finally got caught.  I now know that I am a textbook alcoholic and that drinking and WLS for sure don't mix.  It takes nothing to get me drunk and I ended up giving up on myself and really crawled into the bottle during the year that I was on probation.  Ended up in jail for two weekends, paying out the ass for fines, lawyers, breathalyzer on the car, and suffered at work.  Not to mention the toll that it took on my relationship with my kids and parents.

Somehow I've kept my job and things are returning to normal.  Only by the grace of God. 

July 28, 2006

Well, it was two years ago yesterday that my life changed for the better!!! I've gone from 240 to 129 and bought and rebought clothes and more clothes. My overall health is excellent and I'm living a wonderful life. I never realized how much the extra weight was holding me back in both my personal and professional life. I truly believe that I allowed myself to get so heavy so that I could keep people from getting to close to me. I have always had such bad judgement where men were concerned (if there was a jerk within 50 miles that would be the one that I pursued) and after getting hurt really bad I allowed myself to gain 90 pounds over a period of about three years. Once I realized how bad that I had gotten it was too late to make the changes that I needed to make to get the weight off on my own. The surgery has helped me to change my eating patterns (I truly prefer fruit and protein over carbs now) and the weight loss has resulted in me having more self confidence and feeling wonderful about myself. I have absolutely no regrets and would strongly recommend that anyone with weight issues look into WLS. It's made a believer out of me.

I'm almost 5 years out and feel pretty for the first time in my life.  My weight got down to 123 a couple of years ago and I looked Ethiopian.  I weigh between 133 and 138 now and really feel that this is a good weight for me.  Wearing size 6 in pants and I honestly have so many clothes that I can wear from year to year now that I only shop to get something that I think looks especially cool.  I love it and RNY was the best thing that I've ever done.  I don't even bother telling people about my surgery anymore when they comment on my weight - it's not a factor.  I eat pretty normally and just stick with proteins and a little bit of the other stuff.  I'm not really limited by too much other than hugh sugar and I really don't crave that much anyway.  Loving my life!!!