Penguinschick
2 pounds
Sep 22, 2009
2 pounds. I gained two pounds between August and September. I could say it's water weight or whatever, but you know what, whether it was or wasn't, I was just so pissed at myself. Since then I've shaped up a lot, definitely cut back on the eating and this week I've been to the gym both Monday and today. I'm planning on it tomorrow too.
Personally, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. This week anyway. But other people are really starting to get to me. My mom in particular. Today on the phone she was going over what we could eat for dinner, and she was concerned about what I was going to eat besides chicken. That's perfectly fine. I really appreciate her taking the time and consideration. I said something to the effect of "Oh, I'll just eat the chicken with some brussels sproats and soup." And she responded with "Really? You're going to eat ALL that?", as if I said I was planning on eating 3 large pizzas with extra cheese.
Then tonight at dinner, my dad actually asked me if I was "could" (as in, was I "allowed" to) eat peanut butter when my mom mentioned to me that she had bought some. Later in the meal, I simply asked to have a half of a baked potato and she made a comment about it. She did this not more than an hour after she told me about the chips and macaroni and cheese she just ate.
I just feel like every choice I'm making is being dissected. If it's not to many carbs, its too much salt, too much fat, too much sugar. Everyone has an opinion what I'm putting in MY body. Guess what people, there is no magic food! You have proteins, carbs and fats. The key is balancing them and burning more calories than you take in!
While my family is eating in excess of 700 calories a meal at some meals, I'm so digusted with their comments and judgements (not to mention their eating habits), I'm barely breaking 1000 calories a day. I know my body needs more than that, especially when I'm burning so many calories at the gym, but I can't stand the scrutiny. It makes me feel hopeless and helpless. I don't know how else to describe it. Almost as if I want to cry because I don't know what else to do.
