Entering my final pre-op phase

Dec 24, 2009

Well I had my fifth visit with my primary care physician's office. I lost another three pounds, bringing my total lost to 14 pounds. Ever since that visit I've felt a little bit better, to know I'm still losing and I want to make a good push for last visit. We scheduled it for January 22.

I also plan on going to my surgeon's support group this month. I've heard its a good idea to attend one prior to having the procedure, and I'd really like to make some new connections with people in my area who have had wls. I'm lucky that I have a couple friends who had it done with the same surgeon already, but I hate to always bother them with my questions. Going to the support group is really going to help me hear other people's stories, learn about their concerns and experiences so I can apply them to my own.

As this year draws to a close, I wonder where life will bring me by next Christmas. What weight I will be at, where I'll be at in my career, where I'll be in my personal life, etc. A lot is going to change for me in 2010. I'll get my master's, I'll have wls, I'll be making a lot of choices, big and small. It seems odd to me not to have a plan,  but it's a lot to entertain at once. My goals for the next year right now are just to be the healthiest, happiest me I can be.

A few months ago, I told my cousin that someday we all grow up and what we end up doing is simply something we fall into. I'm not sure I believe that any more. All my life I've given myself reasons why I couldnt. Chosen this or that because I felt inadequate for what I really wanted. Don't get me wrong: I've had an amazing life. And I've done so many wonderful things that I wouldnt' trade for anything, not even being thin. And I've always been myself and never compromised my integrity. I have no regrets. But it's time to stop making my choices based on what I thought was safe. Based on what was "acceptable" or "good" for the "fat me". The fat me is dead. There's just me. I only have one life and wls is going to prevent me from wasting any more time being unhealthy, and I'm going to see that I don't waste any time doing anything other that what I want and deserve.

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