penina
Wednesday, 5 November
Nov 05, 2008
It's now been one week and 2 days since my surgery. I stayed in the house for a whole week, but on Monday (exactly one week post op) I got out of the house and drove the car and ran some errands. I did OK, but by the time I got home I felt pretty worn-out, and my stomach hurt. I discovered it hurts me a little when I wear a bra. The bottom of the bra rubs across the uppermost surgical site. So I covered it with a bandaid, but still it bothers me. I'm on my stage 2 diet, meaning I can eat yogurt, applesauce, cream of wheat, cream soups (strained) and pudding. But this stuff gets real old real fast. I haven't had any nausea or vomiting, which is good, but these tiny meals haven't left me feeling very full either. Or at least not for very long. I decided I would try instant mashed potatoes, since they are soft, and the instant kind isn't chunky or lumpy. So I fixed some, and it tasted really good, but within about 30 minutes I had a horrible case of diarrhea. In retrospect, I wonder if it was the butter rather than the potatoes themselves. Maybe my system can't handle the fat yet. My pain is lessening. It still hurts a little when I do anything requiring abdominal muscles, and it's hard to lie on my side, but I'm doing better. I've got another week to go of this stage 2 diet, and then I can move on to the pureed stuff - baby food and the like. At least there will be some more variety. Right now the sight and smell of food my son is eating is making me crazy. It looks and smells so good, and I just want to eat normally again. This is torture.
Wednesday, 29 October
Oct 29, 2008
I'm now 2 days post-surgery. I survived. But I'm not recovered yet. My stomach has 5 ugly looking scars on it, like somebody stabbed me 5 times. And it's very sore and tender. Hurts to do anything that requires abdominal muscles. Like getting up out of the recliner, or rolling over in bed. And I have some intense shoulder pain in my left shoulder. I had it since I woke up from surgery, and don't know what that's about. My throat was really sore when I came home from the hospital, and yesterday too. Felt dry and raw. It seems to be back to normal now though. On the plus side, I was 18 lbs. under my goal weight on the morning of my surgery, and so far I haven't had any nausea or vomiting. I think I've been getting enough fluid, and I've been able to take my chewable vitamins and calcium. Just been drinking water and eating sugar-free jello and sugar-free popsicles. Not a lot of either of those though. I'm taking liquid vicodin and feeling pretty weak and sore. I guess I expected it to be easier, or less painful, and that I would recover more quickly. Even though it was a same-day procedure, it is still a serious surgery. Hopefully this will get better, and I'll be able to get around a little easier without so much pain. I'm fine if I'm just lying in bed or in the recliner without moving. And I'm OK standing and walking, but any movement of my left arm or shoulder or even turning my head sometimes can set off the left shoulder pain. A nurse told me it was gas that can get up into the nerve of my shoulder. I've never heard of that. I'm not really hungry. Just basically trying to keep myself hydrated. And that seems to be going OK. More later...
Sunday, 26 October, 2008
Oct 26, 2008
This is the day before surgery for me. Tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at 8:30 AM. My son is going to take me. I've been really worried for the past few days about getting sick. I haven't felt very well... like I was coming down with something. My son's been sick, and I was really afraid I would get it too. I had some yucky feelings - especially the past couple days - but didn't develop any full-blown symptoms. Today I feel more normal. I've been praying I would be OK. I've jumped through so many hoops to get to the place I am right now, and I don't want this to have to be postponed. At least I'm below goal weight, so I'm not worried about that. I need to do some shopping for last minute supplies for after surgery. I still have some anxiety about it, wondering how horrible I will feel after the surgery, and how long it might be before I get back to feeling more or less "normal". Whether or not I will be able to eat and drink without vomiting. I've been invited to a reunion get-together with some former coworkers on the 29th - two days after my surgery. I told them I'd really like to be able to come, but it will depend on how I'm feeling then. I wish it was scheduled for maybe a week later. I really do want to see everyone again, even though I wouldn't be able to eat anything, or drink anything but water. All I can do is wait and see how I feel. I want to get my son to take some pics of me today too - my "day before surgery" pics. Something that will show my size/dimensions more accurately. In the last pics I was wearing a big, loose blouse that really doesn't show my body very well. Well, gotta go now and drink my M.O.M. argh...
Saturday, 18 October
Oct 18, 2008
I have now finished all of my pre-op appointments. Everything is in place. The next time I go to the hospital will be for my surgery on the 27th. I'm excited and scared. I'm still below goal weight, but my surgeon told me I still need to take off a few more pounds. I think, jeez... what do they want from me? I know I could've been trying harder the past 3-4 weeks, but I've been kind of coasting since getting below goal, and enjoying my last days of being able to eat like a normal person. I know it will all change radically after the surgery. But I think this is a good time to do it - right before all the holidays. No big Thanksgiving feasting this year. No Christmas indulgences. And no feeling all guilty about holiday weight gain. A good friend of mine is just about to start the same process as me, and her first orientation class is the day after my surgery. It will be tougher for her I think, because she will have to focus on losing weight to get to her goal during the holiday season. Lots of huge temptations. I will be in a very different place this holiday season. Right now my biggest concern is not getting sick. They told us that if we even have a cold on the day of surgery, they won't do it. I got my flu vaccine yesterday, so hopefully that will help me this season, but my son has been sick with a cold the past few days, and today I can feel myself starting to get it. But I have over a week to go before surgery, so maybe I can get the cold and get over it before then. I'm taking vitamin C and praying everything will be OK. I've waited so long for this, and jumped through so many hoops to get to where I am. I don't want to have to postpone it any longer for any reason.
Monday, October 6th
Oct 06, 2008
I"m down to my last 3 weeks of eating normally. My surgery is scheduled for exactly three weeks from today. I'm both excited and nervous about it. I wish I didn't have to have it. I wish I could just keep losing weight the way I have been, and keep it off. But knowing my history of regaining lost weight, I know I really need to do this. I also need to be taking some new photos to post to show my journey down the scale. I had a really exciting moment yesterday when I went to the fitness center to work out. There is a manual scale there - the tall kind, with the weights that you slide across. I haven't been able to weigh myself on one of those scales for YEARS because they only go up to 350, and I've been way past that for a long, long time. But this time I stepped on, and it said my weight was 342 1/2. I was elated! One of my goals has long been to "get back on the scale". To be able to be weighed on a "normal" scale. And for the first time in many years, I could do that. Wow... So I look forward to other "firsts". To be able to wear things I haven't been able to wear, and do things I haven't been able to do. I haven't been perfect with my eating and working out lately. I'm relieved to be below the goal weight my surgeon set for me, so I have indulged in some pleasurable eating here and there. Things I was craving, that I haven't had for a long time. But I know I have to stay focused and not get too sidetracked with the siren call of the carbs.
Wednesday, 24 September
Sep 24, 2008
I've got my surgery date! It's going to be October 27th. A whole month away. I was hoping it would be sooner, but I guess that's the soonest appt. they have. I went in for my case manager appt. today, and was really nervous about the weigh-in. I haven't worked out for a week, and I have had a few indulgences here and there that were not part of my low-carb plan. Lately the carbs have really been calling to me, and for the most part I have ignored their siren song, but I have made a few deviations off the path. Anyway, when they weighed me today, I was 10 lbs. UNDER the goal weight they set for me. So that was a huge relief. Now I've got a couple more appts. to go to, plus more labwork, and then surgery. I'm now in my last month of eating normally. After Oct. 27th I'll be adjusting to a whole new idea of normal. I still feel apprehensive at times, wondering if this is the right thing for me, but I know my own history of relapsing from diets and regaining weight. I want a tool that will keep me from consuming mass quantities, so that even if I WANT to indulge, I'll be limited in how much I can. And mostly I just want to continue my path down the scale, reaching new weights I haven't seen in years and years. I've currently lost 50 lbs. since the beginning of June, and it's been a lot of years since I've even been at this weight. So the lower I go, the more exciting it is to realize how long it's been since I last weighed this much.
Thursday, 4 September
Sep 04, 2008
I went in yesterday and got my pre-op EKG, bloodwork, and chest X-ray done. But I still have to wait till the 24th to see my case manager. I've weighed myself at work since weighing in under goal a week ago, and the scale at work says I'm just at goal weight - not under. So I don't know... The one at my HMO is more generous. And that's the one I'm supposed to go by. I just hope I can stay under the goal weight through surgery day. And it's looking like surgery may not be until sometime in early October.
Thursday, 28 August
Aug 28, 2008
I just went to my official weigh-in last night at the WLS support group, and was astonished to see that I was 8 lbs. UNDER my goal weight!!! I had weighed myself at work Saturday night, and according to that scale, I was still 3 lbs. above goal weight. I really tried hard to take off those extra pounds by exercising and not eating much for a couple days prior to getting weighed-in. I was trying to prepare myself for disappointment if I wasn't at goal weight yet. Turns out, I was supposed to contact them when I was within 5 lbs. of goal weight for them to schedule EKG and other things I need to do. I didn't realize I was supposed to do that. So I will make a call to them today. I'm just very happy to finally be where I am supposed to be so that I can get on the surgery list and get the ball rollin'. YAY!!!
Wednesday, 20 August
Aug 20, 2008
Just weighed myself at work last night, and I'm at 359.4. I only lost 2.2 lbs. since last week. I was hoping it would be a bigger drop. Now I've got one more week to go before my WLS support group weigh-in. I REEALLLY want to be at 355 by then. I don't want to have to wait another week or more and have to go back and get weighed again. It's about a 45 min. - 1 hour drive, depending on traffic. And they are adamant that it has to be THEIR scale that I weigh on.
I'm glad I didn't binge out on my birthday and splurge on a bunch of things. I'd really be kicking myself now if I did. But now I have to press in and try to eat smaller portions and work out more frequently to get this 5 pounds off. I mean, I'll still continue losing right up until my surgery so that I'll be UNDER the goal weight by then, but I just want to get put on the list and get the ball rolling. I want a surgery date so I can make the plans I need to make to be off work and so on.
I made the decision to have weight loss surgery back in early April, so it's been over 4 months now that I've been slowly doing all the prep work and doctor appointments and dieting and exercising, and it seems like it's taking forever before it actually happens. I'm impatient to have the surgery and start really losing weight for good.
I'm glad I didn't binge out on my birthday and splurge on a bunch of things. I'd really be kicking myself now if I did. But now I have to press in and try to eat smaller portions and work out more frequently to get this 5 pounds off. I mean, I'll still continue losing right up until my surgery so that I'll be UNDER the goal weight by then, but I just want to get put on the list and get the ball rolling. I want a surgery date so I can make the plans I need to make to be off work and so on.
I made the decision to have weight loss surgery back in early April, so it's been over 4 months now that I've been slowly doing all the prep work and doctor appointments and dieting and exercising, and it seems like it's taking forever before it actually happens. I'm impatient to have the surgery and start really losing weight for good.
Sunday, August 17th
Aug 16, 2008
Well, yesterday my son took me out to a movie and dinner for my birthday. (We saw Tropic Thunder, which was really funny.) I chose Red Lobster for my b-day dinner, and decided that for one meal I would eat what I wanted. I had debated about choosing Chevy's, which I really love, but almost everything there is loaded with carbs. So we had grilled shrimp and small lobster tails and my son had crab legs too. We got an appetizer with deep-fried calamari and broccoli. We each had one of the biscuits, and let it go at that. I also had rice pilaf with my meal, and afterwards got the happy birthday dish of ice cream. So it was an indulgence, but not too bad. My son avoided the corn and potatoes on his plate, and did not join me in dessert. Great willpower on his part. I had considered buying myself one of the single chunks of white cake with frosting from Safeway and a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry's (pistachio) as my birthday indulgence, but that would have set me back a LOT more carbs.
Right now I'm worried about this coming Friday when I have to take my annual 6 hour CPR class for work. It's because it requires prolonged kneeling on the floor to do the demonstration, and my knees are really not in shape for it. My knees are one of the primary reasons I'm working on losing weight and subjecting myself to weight loss surgery. In years past, they used to allow me to practice the skills with the dummy on the tabletop to avoid having to get down on my knees. But then last year they told us the Red Cross had gotten much stricter and more stringent about the requirements, and that I could no longer use the tabletop method. So I did it on my knees, but it was difficult, and I was sore afterward for a few days. When I told my doctor about it, she said she didn't see why I couldn't pass the class by doing it on the tabletop, considering my osteoarthritis. She said she'd be willing to write me a note for work. So I contacted the local Red Cross chapter about the issue, and was told that I could just demonstrate that I could get down on my knees, and then get right back up and do the skills on the tabletop. So I brought that note into work along with a note from my doctor, but I think they are STILL going to be anal about it and not let me off the hook. They haven't given me a decision yet, but I have a gut feeling they are going to tell me that unless I get down on my knees and do it like everyone else, that my employment will be in jeopardy. They insist that getting down on my knees is one of the "essential functions" of my job. (to be able to do CPR, or assist in managing assaultive behavior). I have done this work for 30 years, and in all that time I have never had to actually do emergency CPR on anyone, and have had to get down on my knees in assaultive situations maybe a small handful of times, but not in recent years. I know my weight is a big factor, but age plays a role too. I just can't do all the things I used to be able to do. So I may have to bit the bullet on Friday and just do the best I can.
Right now I'm worried about this coming Friday when I have to take my annual 6 hour CPR class for work. It's because it requires prolonged kneeling on the floor to do the demonstration, and my knees are really not in shape for it. My knees are one of the primary reasons I'm working on losing weight and subjecting myself to weight loss surgery. In years past, they used to allow me to practice the skills with the dummy on the tabletop to avoid having to get down on my knees. But then last year they told us the Red Cross had gotten much stricter and more stringent about the requirements, and that I could no longer use the tabletop method. So I did it on my knees, but it was difficult, and I was sore afterward for a few days. When I told my doctor about it, she said she didn't see why I couldn't pass the class by doing it on the tabletop, considering my osteoarthritis. She said she'd be willing to write me a note for work. So I contacted the local Red Cross chapter about the issue, and was told that I could just demonstrate that I could get down on my knees, and then get right back up and do the skills on the tabletop. So I brought that note into work along with a note from my doctor, but I think they are STILL going to be anal about it and not let me off the hook. They haven't given me a decision yet, but I have a gut feeling they are going to tell me that unless I get down on my knees and do it like everyone else, that my employment will be in jeopardy. They insist that getting down on my knees is one of the "essential functions" of my job. (to be able to do CPR, or assist in managing assaultive behavior). I have done this work for 30 years, and in all that time I have never had to actually do emergency CPR on anyone, and have had to get down on my knees in assaultive situations maybe a small handful of times, but not in recent years. I know my weight is a big factor, but age plays a role too. I just can't do all the things I used to be able to do. So I may have to bit the bullet on Friday and just do the best I can.
About Me
Napa, CA
Location
52.7
BMI
May 13, 2008
Member Since
