Penumbra
About 5 years ago I finished my term with the navy and, away from the constant fasting and sado-masachistic torture routines at the gym, I began to gain weight. At first I didn't mind. I was so happy to be free to eat and relax without fear of bi-annual fitness evaluations that I figured 'what the hell? I can always lose it again!' WRONG!!! After creeping past the 200lb mark, I decided it was time to get back on the fitness routine. I started hitting the gym 5x a week and reduced my food to just enough to keep the dizzy feelings away. 6 months later....still above 200!! Then I started to worry. I went to my doctor and was informed I should try diet and exercise.....wow! It wasn't until my husband and I started trying to conceive and were unsuccessful that my OBGYN who, after an ovarian Ultrasound, told me I have PCOS. I was told that, as my weight increased, it would become harder and harder to lose. In addition, I would probably not be able to conceive until I was down near a normal BMI. I immediately started clomid and went on the South beach diet. With it, I have been able to slow the gain for the last 2 years but it never stops coming. Also (this is hard) I have been unable to get pregnant. Most days I feel like my body isn't my own anymore. I was never heavy as a child and only a little thicker after puberty. These days I feel like I am literally lost in the fat. I have tried everything I've heard about from South Beach Slim-fast and Sacred heart to WW and the Micheal Thurmond plan. Over the last 5 years I have Yo Yo dieted without the upswings. Just one diet after another in endless frustrating succession. Today I am 275lbs and DONE!! I am ready to take the next step toward recovering my health. I will NOT wait another 10years till I have gained another 100 pounds and a hand-full of co-morbidities. I want to be healthy and I want to be a mother and I am determined to take the steps I need to get there; LOL I am not militant, just really frustrated! Joining me on this journey is my wonderful husband who has been struggling with his obesity his whole life...and I think 5 years is tough! We are planning to have our surgeries as close together as possible so we can really be together in this. I am so happy to have his company on this exciting (and absolutely terrifying) adventure.
