Melissa P.
So ... this is me. I am 31 years old ... happily married to a super supportive husband and we have 2 amazing kids. I have not always had a weight probelm. I was always thin until I became a teenage mom. I was 17 and he was out the door and I guess I just didn't care. I ate and ate and ate ... food become a comfort to me ... 90 pounds and a beautiful daughter later I settled for what I saw in the mirror. When I went in the hospital to give birth I weighed 230 pounds, but by the time I left the hospital after giving birth to my daughter I was 190 pounds ... that was a size 16 for me, but coming from a size 5 when I got pregnant ... I felt enormous. I could have chosen to lose that 40 pounds or so to be at a healthy weight again, but I didn't ... and from that moment I just settled. I guess I developed an addiction and over the next 13 years I ballooned to 290 pounds.
I am a huge daddy's girl. My dad had his first heart attack when I was 18 and he died 10 years later. The quality of his life in those last 10 years was horrible. He eventually died from complications of type 2 diabetes. At that point I seriously thought about getting this weight off. Sure, I had tried a million times before, but my dad's death brought home the dangers of obesity to me and I knew that I didn't want to leave my husband or children as soon as my father left me. In the past 4 years I have lost the same 30 pounds a hundred times. After my dad died my brother came to the same realization that I had ... this weight was going to kill us if we didn't do somehting about it. So, he and his wife had RNY surgery on the same day ... that was 3 years ago and they both look and feel amazing. I am so ready for my life to begin. I feel like my life has been on hold for the past 13 years. I haven't had the energy to play with my kids or be active with my husband and somehow I still feel like the skinny person stuck inside of this "fat chick". I hope nobody takes offense to that word - I guess I have tried to take ownership of it. I find that as a whole only skinny people get offended by that word "fat chick" ... somehow they think that I have low self esteem because I realize I am fat. Anyway, I use that word alot and I hope that doesn't offend people ... so here is my apology in advance if it does 
My insurance company pays for the surgery after a 1 year program sponsered by The Ohio State University. I am almost done with my first 6 months. I am doing my best to use the rest of the time I have left before my surgery to try and change some of my behaviors so that I can use this new tool to the best of my ability. I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but I appreciate the opportunity to say this out loud. Thanks for coming on this journey with me!
