12-12-12

Dec 11, 2012

I recall last Christmas I was really hurting over the recent passing of my mom. I did not know how i was going to walk through this life without her. My mom was a plain talker.  She always said what was on her mind and she had no filter. Her words stung often, especially when she would beg me to lose weight. I look back now and for the first time put myself in her shoes and know how worried she was of me. Before she passed away, I promised her I would have WLS and lose the weight. I am so happy I have kept that promise to her. I felt fearless when I went through the actual surgery. To finally do it without her was hard, but I felt like there was an angel going into that surgery suite with me.

I am so grateful for this opportunity. I know now, I could not have done this without the WLS. I had so many Decembers (like 35) when I would say to myself, next year I will do it. Every January, i'd say to myself that I would be gorgeously thin by that summer. I gave it my best shot and always lost a bit, but then gained it back plus some and by June, was fatter that summer than the year before. That played terrible games on my mind, body and spirit. Those failures affected every aspect of my life in dire ways.

This is going to be an interesting January. I am committed to continue my weight loss journey. I know the first 100 lbs was for my health. The next 75 will be for my health and for my ultimate promise to my mom.  I know I can do this and have to cross that summit to really feel like I not only kept that promise to my mom, but also finally completed a journey I have started every year for the last 35. The desire to finally never have to start another January weight loss failure, because I will be the size I have meant to be all this time.

I thank Jesus everyday for loving me, giving me the strength to continue to get up everyday and keep trying, and for ultimately giving me the mom I had. She wasn't perfect, but she loved me perfectly. Thanks God.

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About Me
Brookfield, IL
Location
39.9
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/16/2012
Surgery Date
Apr 27, 2005
Member Since

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