Back in the saddle again

Jan 13, 2009

Wow- has it been that long since I've posted to my blog?  To be honest, I forgot all about this site, which is a symptom of where I am right now.  Let's see.... I guess a catchup is in order!

my band is still there, no complications but I'm WAY overdue for a fill and a good brain-adjustment.  Why?  Because I made a BIG change in my life in 2008.  I moved to California!  I decided by the end of last year that I really wanted a new start someplace, and always loved Southern Cali, so I dug in on a job search that would bring me here.  I wound up finding a job in San Diego, and relocated at the end of March. 

On one hand, it's been a great adventure and I'm having fun exploring and enjoying a snowless winter (I even made a couple road-trips to the mountains to see the snow).  On the other hand, I really miss my family.  If only some of them had come along!  I don't necessarily see this as a permanent thing (I feel relatively sure I'll move back eventually).

The one big drawback to all this excitement is that it took me away from my bariatric program, and I think it was too soon to go it alone, like taking the training wheels off too early.  Initially, I did great, and lost another 10 lbs (got down to 197 and bought my first pair of Gap jeans).  I took looooooooong walks with the pooch exploring the area and grilled nice meals for myself.  But, the snacks and carbs gradually started sneaking in, and I found myself fighting the band and eating till I was uncomfortable.  My loss stalled for months, and then in the Fall started creeping up, so I've now regained about 15 lbs and I'm at 213 lbs.  Now, even though portions are still smaller than they would have been preop, I'm grazing a LOT, getting into the candy and chips and making really bad food choices. 

It's not that I didn't try to get help.  As soon as I arrived, I planned ahead to see my new PCP for a referral and tried to get into UCSD.  I was as proactive as I could be, going to the pre-op seminar as they required, filling out the paperwork, ordering up my file from my bariatric doc in MN.  When I finally got to meet with the coordinator for their program, I found out that they wanted a big up front fee AND they wanted me to pay cash for fills, even though my insurance would cover it.  So, I requested my file, switched primary care docs, got a new referral, and contacted the program at Sharp Community.

They *said* I'd just need to drop off my file with a letter from me requesting admittance to the program, and that I'd be able to schedule as soon as the doc reviewed my file and approved me.  That was August 9.  BUT, after weekly phone calls, I didn't get anywhere (apparently the nurses didn't feel they could work with him to read my file).  So, I filed a complaint, picked up my records AGAIN, and started calling around.

This time I picked Pomerado and Dr. Callery.  Turns out, they only needed a referral from my PCP, no up front fees, and they'd schedule me.  So, I got my referral (finally came through on Friday), and called to schedule.  I couldn't believe it... they said I could get an appointment next week, WITH the SURGEON!!!  I was in shock, and totally happy.  What a relief!!

Lessons learned
- get all the right questions, ask them up front and call around - a LOT! 
- Don't choose a program just because it's a famous hospital or conveniently located
- Try not to relocate in the first few years after your surgery, so you can stay with the same program as long as possible.
- Bariatric docs can be really arrogant and difficult with post-ops!  I came from a larger and more experienced program and still had a terrible time finding a place that would take me, even with no complications!!

Most of all...

- DON'T use hitches in life as an excuse to lose your focus.  I totally played mind games and made excuses for my eating because I'd "start over when I got into the new program"  In the end, I lost out on the deal, and I'm going to have to make up for the regained weight and retrain my eating habits.

So, it's time for a change. 
- I'm using that appointment next week as my fresh start, and am already putting more thought into my eating habits. 
- I'm trying to get out to the support websites more often. 
- I'm paying attention to how my tummy feels before it's overfull. 
- I'm being introspective and trying to figure out how my head works, so I can do better this time.
- I'm forgiving myself for acting up, and choosing to make my life better

Nuff said.  Here's to new beginnings!

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