pookieg
from Livestrong.com:
Oct 07, 2009
What are the solutions to address a fear of success?
* Suppressing anxieties of not being good enough
* Uniting all talents and virtues for a greater good
* Confronting and dismissing existing fears in an appropriate manner
* Recognizing and welcoming the the chance to triumph over competition without feeling unworthy or undeserving
* Expressing views and opinions without hesitation
* Setting sights on a goal and achieving it with both sacrifices and rewards--these make up the rough climb, the seemingly impossible.
* Steps that if completed always lead straight to success, rewarding those who persevere
Fear of success is the following:
* Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
* Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes
* Opposite of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval--Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.
* Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life
* Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime
* Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accompli**** will never be enough to sustain success
* Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record
* Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
* Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
* Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments--that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.
What are the negative consequences of the fear of success?
Fear of success can result in:
* A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself in school, on the job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal growth
* Self-destructive behavior, such as tripping yourself up to make sure that you do not sustain a certain level of success or achievement you once had in school, on the job, at home, in relationships or in your personal growth.
* Problems making decisions, being unable to solve problems
* Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
* Chronic underachievement
* Feeling guilt, confusion and anxiety when you do achieve success--this leads you to falter, waver and eventually lose your momentum.
* Sabotaging any gains that you have made in your personal growth and mental health, because once you become healthier, a better problem solver, and more "together,'' you fear that no one will pay attention to you. You are habituated to receiving help, sympathy and compassionate support.
* Your choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful
* Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life
* Denouncing your achievements and accomplishments, or seeking ways in which you can denigrate yourself enough to lose what you've gained
What do those who fear success believe?
* I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
* I know people care about me when I am down and out, but will they like me when I am on top and successful?
* I've never been happy before, so how can I be sure I'll be happy once I achieve my goals?
* I am nothing, and I deserve nothing.
* How can people like me if I succeed in reaching my goals in life?
* I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals.
* How can I be sure that my good fortunes won't go sour and be destroyed?
* There are always more demands and more needs that have to be met in order for me to be successful, no matter what I do it will never be enough.
* They are all better, brighter, smarter, and more talented than I am. I really don't deserve to be successful.
* It's hard to be at the top.
* Everyone is out to shoot down the head man.
* No one really likes a winner.
* Everyone goes for the underdog.
* I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged.
* Hard work, no play and constant effort make me happy. What would I do if it were different?
* I feel so guilty when I realize how much I have been given in my life.
* I'm always afraid I'm going to lose it all.
* Starting over again gives me meaning and a sense of mission and purpose.
* I'm so bored with what I've accomplished. What's left to do?
* Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to.
What new behavior patterns can help in overcoming your fear of success?
* Learning to reinforce yourself for the hard work, effort and sacrifices you have made to achieve success
* Being able to honestly appraise your level of achievement, success and accomplishment
* Accepting yourself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
* Not giving yourself any excuses for being unsuccessful
* Giving others in your life permission to give you honest, open, candid feedback when they see you self-destructing or backsliding
* Monitoring your level of commitment and motivation to reach your goals
* Visualizing your life when you are successful
* Giving others credit, recognition, and support for their personal achievements, successes and accomplishments
* Honest, open, realistic self-talk that encourages you to work your hardest to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself
* Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
Steps to overcoming fear of success
Step 1: You first need to identify the fear of success in your life. To do this, answer questions ``A' through ``J'' in your journal for each of the following 12 areas:
* At school
* On the job
* With family
* In marriage
* In relationships
* With friends
* In your career
* In your emotional life
* In your hobbies
* In sports
* In your physical health
* In your spiritual life
a. What do I think will happen if I achieve success here?
b. What would success in this area of my life look like?
c. In what ways do I feel undeserving of success here?
d. Who am I afraid of hurting or intimidating if I achieve success here?
e. What do I think is lacking to keep me from sustaining success in this area?
f. What are my biggest concerns about succeeding in this area?
g. Who do I believe is more deserving of the success I have or will achieve here?
h. How motivated am I in the struggle for success in this area?
i. In what ways do I think that once I achieve success here that I will lose focus or direction in other areas of my life?
j. In what ways do I think that I'll be unsatisfied or feel unworthy if I achieve success in this area?
Step 2: Once you have completed Step 1, answer the following questions for the same 12 areas:
a. What evidence is there that I have not sustained enough effort to achieve my goals in this area?
b. What are my long range goals for this area?
c. In what ways do I self-destruct achievement and success here?
d. How much of a problem do I have in making decisions here?
e. In what ways has my motivation been diminished in this area?
f. In what ways have I been an underachiever in this area?
g. Have I ever felt guilt, confusion or anxiety when I did achieve a level of success here?
h. Have I ever feared losing people's attention, sympathy or concern if I achieved success here?
i. Have I ever chosen just the opposite of what I needed to be successful in this area?
j. Have I ever put myself down for achieving success in this area?
Step 3: After looking at the negative consequences of the fear of success in each areas of life, identify the beliefs that lead you to fear success. Once you identify the beliefs for each area, refute them if they are irrational, and replace them with rational beliefs. If your beliefs are negative self-scripts, replace them with positive self-affirming scripts. Use the "Tools for Coping" to assist in this effort.
Step 4: After you have identified your irrational beliefs and replaced them with rational beliefs and self-affirming scripts, identify what new behavior you need to develop in each of the 12 areas. Answer the following questions in your journal:
a. How can I improve the ways in which I reinforce myself?
b. How can I make a more honest appraisal of my accomplishments?
c. How can I accept myself as being successful?
d. How can I eliminate all excuses for being unsuccessful?
e. Who needs to have permission to give me honest feedback when they see me self-destructing?
f. How can I monitor my level of commitment and motivation to succeed?
g. How can I improve the ways I visualize what it will be like when I achieve my goals?
h. How can I improve the ways in which I offer others reinforcement and praise for their individual success and achievements?
i. How can I improve my self-talk to assist me in achieving my goals?
j. How can I learn to accept the compliments and recognition of others for my success?
Step 5: Once you identify the behavior traits you need to develop in your life, make a commitment to accomplish this. If you continue to have a fear of success, however, return to Step 1 and begin again.
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* Suppressing anxieties of not being good enough
* Uniting all talents and virtues for a greater good
* Confronting and dismissing existing fears in an appropriate manner
* Recognizing and welcoming the the chance to triumph over competition without feeling unworthy or undeserving
* Expressing views and opinions without hesitation
* Setting sights on a goal and achieving it with both sacrifices and rewards--these make up the rough climb, the seemingly impossible.
* Steps that if completed always lead straight to success, rewarding those who persevere
Fear of success is the following:
* Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
* Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes
* Opposite of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval--Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.
* Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life
* Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime
* Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accompli**** will never be enough to sustain success
* Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record
* Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
* Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
* Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments--that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.
What are the negative consequences of the fear of success?
Fear of success can result in:
* A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself in school, on the job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal growth
* Self-destructive behavior, such as tripping yourself up to make sure that you do not sustain a certain level of success or achievement you once had in school, on the job, at home, in relationships or in your personal growth.
* Problems making decisions, being unable to solve problems
* Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
* Chronic underachievement
* Feeling guilt, confusion and anxiety when you do achieve success--this leads you to falter, waver and eventually lose your momentum.
* Sabotaging any gains that you have made in your personal growth and mental health, because once you become healthier, a better problem solver, and more "together,'' you fear that no one will pay attention to you. You are habituated to receiving help, sympathy and compassionate support.
* Your choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful
* Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life
* Denouncing your achievements and accomplishments, or seeking ways in which you can denigrate yourself enough to lose what you've gained
What do those who fear success believe?
* I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
* I know people care about me when I am down and out, but will they like me when I am on top and successful?
* I've never been happy before, so how can I be sure I'll be happy once I achieve my goals?
* I am nothing, and I deserve nothing.
* How can people like me if I succeed in reaching my goals in life?
* I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals.
* How can I be sure that my good fortunes won't go sour and be destroyed?
* There are always more demands and more needs that have to be met in order for me to be successful, no matter what I do it will never be enough.
* They are all better, brighter, smarter, and more talented than I am. I really don't deserve to be successful.
* It's hard to be at the top.
* Everyone is out to shoot down the head man.
* No one really likes a winner.
* Everyone goes for the underdog.
* I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged.
* Hard work, no play and constant effort make me happy. What would I do if it were different?
* I feel so guilty when I realize how much I have been given in my life.
* I'm always afraid I'm going to lose it all.
* Starting over again gives me meaning and a sense of mission and purpose.
* I'm so bored with what I've accomplished. What's left to do?
* Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to.
What new behavior patterns can help in overcoming your fear of success?
* Learning to reinforce yourself for the hard work, effort and sacrifices you have made to achieve success
* Being able to honestly appraise your level of achievement, success and accomplishment
* Accepting yourself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
* Not giving yourself any excuses for being unsuccessful
* Giving others in your life permission to give you honest, open, candid feedback when they see you self-destructing or backsliding
* Monitoring your level of commitment and motivation to reach your goals
* Visualizing your life when you are successful
* Giving others credit, recognition, and support for their personal achievements, successes and accomplishments
* Honest, open, realistic self-talk that encourages you to work your hardest to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself
* Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
Steps to overcoming fear of success
Step 1: You first need to identify the fear of success in your life. To do this, answer questions ``A' through ``J'' in your journal for each of the following 12 areas:
* At school
* On the job
* With family
* In marriage
* In relationships
* With friends
* In your career
* In your emotional life
* In your hobbies
* In sports
* In your physical health
* In your spiritual life
a. What do I think will happen if I achieve success here?
b. What would success in this area of my life look like?
c. In what ways do I feel undeserving of success here?
d. Who am I afraid of hurting or intimidating if I achieve success here?
e. What do I think is lacking to keep me from sustaining success in this area?
f. What are my biggest concerns about succeeding in this area?
g. Who do I believe is more deserving of the success I have or will achieve here?
h. How motivated am I in the struggle for success in this area?
i. In what ways do I think that once I achieve success here that I will lose focus or direction in other areas of my life?
j. In what ways do I think that I'll be unsatisfied or feel unworthy if I achieve success in this area?
Step 2: Once you have completed Step 1, answer the following questions for the same 12 areas:
a. What evidence is there that I have not sustained enough effort to achieve my goals in this area?
b. What are my long range goals for this area?
c. In what ways do I self-destruct achievement and success here?
d. How much of a problem do I have in making decisions here?
e. In what ways has my motivation been diminished in this area?
f. In what ways have I been an underachiever in this area?
g. Have I ever felt guilt, confusion or anxiety when I did achieve a level of success here?
h. Have I ever feared losing people's attention, sympathy or concern if I achieved success here?
i. Have I ever chosen just the opposite of what I needed to be successful in this area?
j. Have I ever put myself down for achieving success in this area?
Step 3: After looking at the negative consequences of the fear of success in each areas of life, identify the beliefs that lead you to fear success. Once you identify the beliefs for each area, refute them if they are irrational, and replace them with rational beliefs. If your beliefs are negative self-scripts, replace them with positive self-affirming scripts. Use the "Tools for Coping" to assist in this effort.
Step 4: After you have identified your irrational beliefs and replaced them with rational beliefs and self-affirming scripts, identify what new behavior you need to develop in each of the 12 areas. Answer the following questions in your journal:
a. How can I improve the ways in which I reinforce myself?
b. How can I make a more honest appraisal of my accomplishments?
c. How can I accept myself as being successful?
d. How can I eliminate all excuses for being unsuccessful?
e. Who needs to have permission to give me honest feedback when they see me self-destructing?
f. How can I monitor my level of commitment and motivation to succeed?
g. How can I improve the ways I visualize what it will be like when I achieve my goals?
h. How can I improve the ways in which I offer others reinforcement and praise for their individual success and achievements?
i. How can I improve my self-talk to assist me in achieving my goals?
j. How can I learn to accept the compliments and recognition of others for my success?
Step 5: Once you identify the behavior traits you need to develop in your life, make a commitment to accomplish this. If you continue to have a fear of success, however, return to Step 1 and begin again.
November 7, 2007
Nov 06, 2007
Having a ton of medical problems, nothing that seems to be related to the band though. Think I may be having hormone problems. On Sun, Nov 4 I weighed in at 158.5 Am shocked the scale is moving again. Am having a loss of appetite lately though.
September 15, 2007
Sep 14, 2007
I weighed in this morning at 166. The scale is moving, yayayayayay!!!!! Things seem easier now that I am really working this program.
September 4, 2007
Sep 04, 2007
I am struggling trying to decide if I need another fill. I have not had one in a while. My weight seems to be holding at 170.5. I am anxious to get into the 160's! At least I have figured out the difference between a PB and vomiting and also what foods trigger it.
June 8, 2007
Jun 08, 2007
Today I went to AIGB for an unfill. I have needed one for quite some time but tried to live with it being too tight. It has been unbearable the last few weeks so I went today. I had 1.5 cc's removed from my band. The girl who did it said I am now at 6.5 cc's. I expect to get another fill after I return from vacation in mid July. I weighed in today at 178. The doctor's office said I was 182.5. I also was told I have high blood presure.
April 21 weigh in
Apr 21, 2007
I have decided to weigh myself in every Saturday morning, wish I would have started this 6 months ago, oh well.
Today I weigh 180 lbs! 35 to go until my first goal!! Hooray for me!
Today I weigh 180 lbs! 35 to go until my first goal!! Hooray for me!
April 14 weigh-in
Apr 14, 2007
Finally officially hit the 50 pound mark!! I weighed in at 182!
March 31, 2007
Mar 31, 2007
I weighed in yesterday. I have been having trouble with my band being a little too tight. I am able to eat all the wrong foods and have been "treating " myself to them more than I should. I am now weighing in at 184.5. Not a large weight loss since my last post.
Due to my surgeon's death, I have found a doctor here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area that has agreed to take me on to be his patient. I am very happy about this as he is a well respected bariatric surgeon. I had a few fills with a plastic surgeon here in the DFW area, but I didn't like the guy at all, so this is good news. I will be seeing this new doctor on Monday morning.
I am currently at 8.4 cc's in my 10 cc band. I am happy to have lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery six months ago. I wish I could be one of those people who lose 10 pounds per month consistently, but I messed that plan up so here I am. My goal ideally is to be 125 lbs. However, at 5'4 and 48 years of age, I think I will be thrilled to get to 145 lbs. I have somewhere between 40 - 60 pounds until goal.
I will try to update this more often. I commit to more exercise and healthy food choices. Also, I am attending OA meetings to help understand why I eat.
Due to my surgeon's death, I have found a doctor here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area that has agreed to take me on to be his patient. I am very happy about this as he is a well respected bariatric surgeon. I had a few fills with a plastic surgeon here in the DFW area, but I didn't like the guy at all, so this is good news. I will be seeing this new doctor on Monday morning.
I am currently at 8.4 cc's in my 10 cc band. I am happy to have lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery six months ago. I wish I could be one of those people who lose 10 pounds per month consistently, but I messed that plan up so here I am. My goal ideally is to be 125 lbs. However, at 5'4 and 48 years of age, I think I will be thrilled to get to 145 lbs. I have somewhere between 40 - 60 pounds until goal.
I will try to update this more often. I commit to more exercise and healthy food choices. Also, I am attending OA meetings to help understand why I eat.
February 19, 2007
Feb 18, 2007
I had my surgery done on September 29, 2006 by Dr. Sanchez in Monterrey Mexico. He was such a wonderful man. He passed away in December, 2006, and I miss him very much. I feel very lucky to have had my surgery when I did. I will never forget him and the kindness he showed to me.
I stopped weighing myself a long time prior to surgery. I am sure my highest weight is unknown to me as I know I was heavier than the day I had my surgery. In any case, I took measurements and weighed in prior to surgery and kept them in a file on my computer. Unfortunately, my computer crashed, and I lost all the info, so I have decided to make this info public so I have easy access to it and don't forget where I started.
Today I weighed in and am 190.5 pounds. To date I have lost 41.5 pounds that I know of, with an original weight of 232 pounds. I am down 4 sizes since surgery, fitting into a size 14 now whereas I was wearing a size 22 prior to surgery.
As far as my fills are concerned, I have a 10 cc VG band. My surgeon gave me 4 cc's to prime the band at surgery. My first fill I got 2 cc's to bring it up to 6 cc's total. I had this fill done on November 7 with Dr. Dobson in Dallas. I don't care for the man, and he makes you wait forever. Very unprofessional.
I had my second fill on November 28 with Dr. Dobson again. I didn't necessarily want to go back to him, but I am limited to whom I can see due to being banded in Mexico. This next fill I got 1.4 cc's to bring me to 7.4 cc's. I did feel some restriction but the fill really kicked in after about 3 weeks and I did well for a time.
I went for my third fill with Dr. Stephanie down in College Station,. Texas. She is so wonderful, I can't say enough great stuff about her. Additionally, she is less expensive than Dr. Dobson and so much more professional. I will only ever go back to her for fills, should I ever need another. I had this fill done on January 27. She added .8 cc's. I am now at 8.2 cc's in my 10 cc VG band. I think I may be a bit too tight, but I want to give it a few weeks to see if I can figure out how to work with the band. I currently have trouble getting many solid foods down, and have become frustrated on occasion when I want to eat something but just can't swallow. I have been PBing much more than I am comfortable with, so I need to take it easy.
To date, I have been exercising fairly regularly. Mainly I walk for exercise, approximately 4 times a week, typically 20 - 30 minutes. I have a great bike and when it warms up I will be riding that daily.
I try to watch what I eat and initally I started tracking my food on Fitday.com. I liked it but felt it was very time consuming and I stopped. However, my weight loss may be suffering due to eating more than the 1200 - 1500 calories a day that is recommended. I am not sure how many calories I am consuming, but 95 % of the time I make good food choices and I am averaging 10 pounds/month weight loss so I feel OK about it at the moment.
I stopped weighing myself a long time prior to surgery. I am sure my highest weight is unknown to me as I know I was heavier than the day I had my surgery. In any case, I took measurements and weighed in prior to surgery and kept them in a file on my computer. Unfortunately, my computer crashed, and I lost all the info, so I have decided to make this info public so I have easy access to it and don't forget where I started.
Today I weighed in and am 190.5 pounds. To date I have lost 41.5 pounds that I know of, with an original weight of 232 pounds. I am down 4 sizes since surgery, fitting into a size 14 now whereas I was wearing a size 22 prior to surgery.
As far as my fills are concerned, I have a 10 cc VG band. My surgeon gave me 4 cc's to prime the band at surgery. My first fill I got 2 cc's to bring it up to 6 cc's total. I had this fill done on November 7 with Dr. Dobson in Dallas. I don't care for the man, and he makes you wait forever. Very unprofessional.
I had my second fill on November 28 with Dr. Dobson again. I didn't necessarily want to go back to him, but I am limited to whom I can see due to being banded in Mexico. This next fill I got 1.4 cc's to bring me to 7.4 cc's. I did feel some restriction but the fill really kicked in after about 3 weeks and I did well for a time.
I went for my third fill with Dr. Stephanie down in College Station,. Texas. She is so wonderful, I can't say enough great stuff about her. Additionally, she is less expensive than Dr. Dobson and so much more professional. I will only ever go back to her for fills, should I ever need another. I had this fill done on January 27. She added .8 cc's. I am now at 8.2 cc's in my 10 cc VG band. I think I may be a bit too tight, but I want to give it a few weeks to see if I can figure out how to work with the band. I currently have trouble getting many solid foods down, and have become frustrated on occasion when I want to eat something but just can't swallow. I have been PBing much more than I am comfortable with, so I need to take it easy.
To date, I have been exercising fairly regularly. Mainly I walk for exercise, approximately 4 times a week, typically 20 - 30 minutes. I have a great bike and when it warms up I will be riding that daily.
I try to watch what I eat and initally I started tracking my food on Fitday.com. I liked it but felt it was very time consuming and I stopped. However, my weight loss may be suffering due to eating more than the 1200 - 1500 calories a day that is recommended. I am not sure how many calories I am consuming, but 95 % of the time I make good food choices and I am averaging 10 pounds/month weight loss so I feel OK about it at the moment.
About Me
DFW, TX
Location
35.1
BMI
Surgery
09/29/2006
Surgery Date
Jul 11, 2006
Member Since
