precizion1
Blood Pressure Monitor
Mar 02, 2010
Throw another chore to the pile
Mar 01, 2010
I was chosen to take on another role to help out Documentation. What does this mean in terms of this website, easy....stress. Stress oftens leads to excessive eating. It wasn't easy today. My head started hurting as a result as well. What I really need is a vacation.
Started off late this morning
Feb 20, 2010
Today my daughter and I got off to a late start. About 1 p.m. Went food shopping, walking, more walking, and even more walking. I was so tired I needed to take a nap. J.D. (my daughter's kitty) kept me company. He can be a sweet thing until his cat instinct kicks in...then he thinks you're food and he wants to kill your hand or arm or even your foot.
J.D. gave me a look of "You gonna eat that?" as I was drinking my chicken broth this evening. I showed it to him and he knew in that moment that he eats better than me. He turned his head in distaste and walked off. I couldn't believe the little b*st*rd was mocking me!
*sigh* couldn't even add a turkey meatball to the pale yellow liquid. ::sip::
Today is another day
Feb 19, 2010
During this stressful time, I found that I couldn't eat. This is surprising to me since normally I'm an emotional eater. Now when I look at food when I'm stressed out...I find it nauseating. I know it's not healthy but it's better than over-eating and going back to Dr. Broderick-Villa and having to explain myself to him why I gained weight when I should be losing weight for my surgery.
Doctor's Visit
Feb 19, 2010
I prayed last night that everything would be all right. I asked to have my faith strengthened. I hope everything will be ok. As I prayed I cried myself to sleep.
Stressed Out
Feb 17, 2010
I can tell that this is going to be one of those weeks. I hate feeling like this because there's nothing I can do. It's like standing on the ground while the person you care about is hanging off a ledge, can barely hold on and there's nothing you can do but watch helplessly because you know they're going to fall.
I think I need a hug from my daughter's kitty. He's the only one who understands me right now. *sniff*
It's been one of those days
Feb 16, 2010
Even Calgon couldn't resolve these issues....no matter what that box says.
I don't think even a whole case of sweets or a plate of whatever could help me. It's more like....I lost my appetite. *sigh* I'm going for a walk.
The "Support"
Feb 15, 2010
I have such a person in my life and believe me I've tried everything to get them to be supportive but alas my efforts would have achieved the same results like if I tried to get my daughter's cat to engage in a conversation with me.....useless.
His name is Dino. He used to be my boyfriend but I have decided that he was better off as a friend....Now I'm not so sure I want to even consider him that. Dino is a big guy who LOVES fast food or anything that has a high amount of calorie intake such as chicken adobo (In case you didn't know...I'm a pacific islander who always has to have rice as my main dish). Since I've been hanging out with him, I have gone from 230 lbs. to a whopping 270-275 lbs. (depending on which scale decides to lie to me). His lifestyle is clearly not my lifestyle.
When I told him that I was having bariatric surgery, he was supportive at first (or so I thought). This was when I was 250 lbs. Now, whenever we went out and I would order something small or light, he would say "Is that all you're going to eat? That's not enough." So he would order more food and tell me to HELP him finish it. At first being the good friend that I was, he knew that I hated when food went to waste so I would help him finish whatever he had which really meant....I was the one eating all of it.
When I finally figured it out...I told him that he was no friend and asked him how he could do that to me. Though he told me that he didn't want me to have the surgery because it was dangerous and I could die from it....the real reason was about jealousy. Yes, you read that right....jealousy.
The reason why he helped sabotaged me was because he didn't want ANY guy looking at me (It sure must be nice to be selfish). I was floored when I figured it out. I told him that no guy was looking at me when I was at 200 lbs but he believed that if I was even more fat then NO ONE would even look at me. Now this is where it gets even more hurtful. I told him YES, it's true no one looks at me now.....and that would INCLUDE him. To drive my point home I told him that when I was walking down the street and he was driving by that he didn't even see me....BUT whenever we're in the car together he ALWAYS spots a girl walking by....especially if she's thin. Talk about a slap across the face.
Now you could sit and argue with that person until the cows come home but it will all be in vain. You want to know if someone is sabotaging you? Tell them that you're having bariatric surgery and see what happens. If they don't offer you food or try to pawn off food on you then they are supportive but if they do make an offer, then make for the nearest exit...stage left, if you prefer. You'd be suprised how many people claim they have your best interests at heart while they are shoving food in your face.
Now it's not going to be all their fault. It does start with you, You have the power to say no and walk away. That is what I do, I stay away from people during lunch. I go for long walks during lunch. If we have potluck, I bring my own food and leave as soon as I'm done. I avoid food e-mail announcements. I also avoid our special food area at work by going the long way around. It's not easy. I just have to keep reminding myself about the trade off.....You know...If I give up this then I'll gain this speech. I also stock my cabinets and fridge with only things like soups, sugar free jello, vegetables, and lots and lots of water so I'm stuck eating just that.
About Dino...the way I handle him now is if I know he's going to show up and try to pressure me to eat fast foods then I'll eat something healthy at home. I'll tell him that I already ate and for him to go on his own and buy his own **gagging** food but to eat it there before coming over. That's the beauty of not having anyone live with you....no pressure to cook or eat fatty foods.
Since coming here to this site too, this allows me to vent practically everything on my mind. It's a great form of therapy in my book.
Sleep Study
Feb 15, 2010
My sleep study took place in Alameda. We had to be there by 9:00p.m. That's right...you read that right...PM as in night time. It was held at a place that really didn't look like a hospital or even a place where you'd expect where they would hold a sleep study. It was easy to find and there were cars in the parking lot so I knew we weren't alone. Dino (my friend) rang the doorbell. As soon as the guy answered the door, Dino was already telling him to have me put in anger management classes and group therapy.
The guy who answered the door was named Adam. He was really nice and he reminded me of a young grizzly Adams with tatoos. He led me to my room and explained to me what to expect and how long the study was going to be. He told Dino that I was to stay the night and that he should come back at 6:00 in the morning. After getting settled in and changed into my night clothes, Dino left.
Adam said that it was going to be awhile before he could get to me. It took longer than we both thought because the melatonin already kicked in. I was passed out on the bed when he came back. He told me to sit in a chair so that he could hook up all these wires to me. I was tired but I complied. He put four diodes on my forehead, three in my hair, three on my upper chest, one on each leg, and one to monitor my breathing.
NOW...if you think that you're are going to get a good night sleep, forget it. It's not going to happen. I remember waking up 4 times that night but I'm pretty sure I woke up more than that. The first time I woke up was to have those leads put on me to monitor me. The second time I woke up was to go to the bathroom (oh yeah, that was fun lugging all those wires with me and praying I didn't get them wet). The third time I woke up was so he could put this thing over my nose (I'll get to that story in a minute). The fourth time was to let me know it was time to get up.
So now I'm all hooked up and it's lights out and door shut, right? Oh no..no, no, no. Adam is on the intercom telling me to move my eyes in whatever direction he tells me to. As he's telling me to do all this, it dawns on me that the LED camera that is mounted above the door and lit up all in red and is his way of saying "I'm watching you." Now all these random things run through my head...like Michael Myers in a hospital scene and no one can get out because they locked the doors for "safety reasons." Can you say "stalker" or play the Friday the 13th theme song in your head? ch ch ch ch ahhh ahhh ahhhh.... And this is where I start making a mental note that there are no windows in my room.
Yes, I still manage to fall asleep because let's face it...I don't care if Michael is coming to get me...what am I going to do? Seriously? Plus the melatonin won that battle.
When the time came to put on the face mask, he gave me a choice; nose or nostrils...my nostrils were not having it. So the nose mask was the winner in comfort as well as style. It didn't bother me which was surprising. I thought I was going to rip it off my face in the middle of the night but I didn't. I slept through that and to prove it, I had a dream that I was wearing it on the bus. I knew it was a dream because I don't take the bus, I drive. The mask was quiet, I couldn't hear anything. Although I don't know how I manage to sleep through that and not end up laying on my side. The next thing I knew it was time to get up.
Now ladies, if you washed your hair to go to this sleep study, I'm going to give you fair warning; When they put the leads on your head where your hair is, you will have this yellow, greasy, sticky residue in your hair. It also makes your hair very hard to brush through. Yes, it washes off but if you're like me and can't stand the feeling of it you'll want to take a shower immediately after you get home. I could of taken a shower there but I did not know that I could and I didn't bring my towels from home.
Overall it wasn't a bad experience but if you think you're going to get a good night sleep, don't hold your breath. The staff does go out of their way to make you feel comfortable there. The bed was hard but the blanket they gave me was soft and it was warm enough that I didn't need to use the bed's sheets. I just wished that it was a little cooler in the room.
Experiencing Endoscopy
Feb 15, 2010
I got undressed and put my clothes in the bag. There was a guy who seemed eager to get my hep-lock started because he kept pacing back and forth when the nurse was talking to me. He was nice and he wasn't lying when he said it wouldn't hurt when he was putting it in. I told him to do it from the back of my hand because it's been my experience that that is where they have been able to locate a vein with no problem at all. I have to admit though, that needle looked pretty big going in but it didn't hurt at all. I was amazed. Maybe it was because I was tensing up...who knows.
My Dr. said hello when I was upstairs sitting in the chair waiting for my turn. Even when I got up on the bed, I wasn't nervous but I was really tired. I had stayed up late the night before but normally I would of taken melatonin to help me sleep but not this time. I thought it was strange the Dr. Broderick asked about my last name. He said that he never saw it spelled like that. I told him that it wasn't mine but my ex's. His great grandfather moved to Mexico from Germany and had their name changed. He guessed it was to escape any affiliation with Karl Marx.
The nurse sprayed something in my mouth and said it was for my throat. If I had to describe it, I would say to imagine something cold, foamy, and the taste of something like cherry nyquil being sprayed into your throat. She said to swallow it but I resisted, shook my head, and tried not to gag. I swallowed the awful concoction in my throat and prayed my stomach wouldn't have a violent reaction the the foreign substance that was on it's way down.
I just remember being tired and was told to lay on my left side. They put this light green plastic thing over my mouth and told me to bite down on it. They said it was so I couldn't bite down on scope as it was going down my throat. It reminded me of those S&M contraptions that I see on T.V. You know, that one with the black strap and a red ball for the person to bite down on to help with the pain? I laughed when I thought about it but I couldn't say anything because I had this thing over my mouth and it limited me from speaking. I don't remember anything that happened after that.
I woke up and I was recovering. I looked over and I could see that room that I was on previously had the blinds closed. They were working on someone else already. I tried to tell the nurse who was with me about that green thing and she didn't get it. I guess she never heard of S&M or she didn't have a sense of humor. What a loss. I got dressed and headed down to meet my friend. He was already in the car in front of the building. When I got home, I think it was 11:30 a.m. and I went back to sleep. I didn't wake up again until it was 6:00 p.m.