2 years post-op

Nov 28, 2006

     http://www.picturetrail.com/photos/probrinzine                                              

I HAVE SUBMITTED MY INFO 2X NOW AND BOTH TIMES I LOST MY JOB BEFORE THE SURGERY DATE. THAT WAS IN ILLINOIS. I WILL BE MOVING TO GEORGIA IN AUGUST, 2004 AND WILL START THE PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN. SINCE I AM NEW TO THE AREA I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN

July 25, 2004

This time next week I will be living Georgia. I will be so glad. I called Dr. Smith office on Thursday. They advised me to call them back once I make a decision on my insurance. She also advised me that it should not take as long for approval or submission of my info since I already have all my medical records and I have had all my test results. She said that even though I have been to several seminars, I will still be required to look at the hour long information video. It is good to know that once I get settled into home and job I won't have to wait another year. Once I start work on the 9th of August I will know exactly where things are. The real bottom line is when will my STD pay at 100%. I will keep posting.

I have been communicating with Tami a little bit. She has had her surgery about 2-3 weeks ago and has lost 20 lbs. I can't wait to get to that point. I broke my computer chair last week. This is my 4th chair. It is so depressing. My back, hips and knees are starting to bother me more and more everyday. It could be from the physical and mental stress on your mind and body from moving. We are moving 2 households and my D/H works about 12-16 hours 6 days a week. So all he does all day when we are packing is wine, wine, wine. If he was a kid you would tell him that it is nap time.

Anyway, I start work on 08/09/2004 and will know more about my benefits and will keep posting. This is somewhat theraputic.


AUGUST 8, 2005

Well, I have been in Georgia now for 1 year. My insurance does not cover WLS. I've tried everything. They do not cover it. I went thru some depression at first. Now I am okay. I guess. It was hard when I first got here. No family, no friends, and no surgery. Georgia is so different from where I moved from in Illinois. The traffice is awful. I come from a small town in IL and their was hardly no traffic. It took getting use to.

My weight has gone up to 364 lbs at one time. That was the height of my depression. I am back down to my normal 350-355. yeah that's my normal weight at this time in my life. I have gone on the internet trying to find some kind of assistance with WLS. I found a site that would allow you to make payments. However, it is in another country. Gotta do some research on that. If anybody has any info on it, I sure would appreciate it.

Well, this is my update. I will try to update more often.

April 24, 2006

I can't believe it has been 8 months since I have jotted down anything. So much has happened since I last updated. I started Atkins in October, 2005 and lost 40 lbs. by January. HOWEVER, I gained back some and I now weight 340. I have been so depressed since my sister past in January. It is hard to stay focus on eating right when food has been your friend since forever.

The good news. The company I work for changed Insurance. I once had AETNA and now I have BCBS of GA. Medically necessary WLS is covered. I submitted my paperwork and all of my medical records from IL to Dr. Smith's office on 04/21/06 by FEDEX. I rec'd an email at work from FEDEX stating that my paperwork was rec'd. YAHOO!!!!!. I will call the doctors office on 04/26/06 to verify receit. I know I have to have a psyc exam. I hope and pray this time is it. I have been trying for about 5 years now. Anyway I am very excited.

April 28, 2006

Well, I did call Dr. Smith's office on 04/26/06. I spoke to the nurse by the name of Neal. She was very nice. She informed me that they had received my paperwork and as soon as the doctor looks at it she will give me a call and set up an appt. It should be no later than next week. If I don't hear from her by Tuesday, I will call her again. I am trying not to get my hopes up and just go thru the process and see what happens this time. I hope and pray it happens.

May 13, 2006

Today is Saturday. I have my consultation with my surgeon on Monday. I am so excited. This step is a requirement with my insurance company. Once I go, then I can start making the appt for the other requirements. I figure I can get them all schedule in May and the first part of June and have my paperwork submitted no later than June 15th....sounds like a good plan. Gotta make it work. I am going home(IL) in July for a week and hopefully I will have an approval before I leave and can come back to GA and have the surgery. I pray that everything goes great this time around. I really don't think I can take it if it doesn't. Really I don't think I could.


OMG...I need help. I was so miserable this day. Over 350 lbs. This poor chair was just sqeaking and moaning. I finally got up and sat on the stair. They hurt my but but at least I knew they wouldn't break


Until next time

05/15/06

Had my seminar/consultation today. Since it was my 3rd one, it was very boring, as far as information on the procedure and information related to it. I do however like Dr. Smith and all of his staff. Their were people their who wasn't sure and I think I was the only one that had already submitted their info and was already informed by Dr. Smith that I qualify for the surgery. I have submitted almost everything with my original paperwork except the Psyc Evaluation and the Nutritionist evaluation. I will schedule one this month and one the 1st of June. I will fax the results to Denise(she had the surgery and lost 185 lbs) at Dr. Smith's office myself from my fax at home so I will receive the confirmation. The fax machine at work it is available to anybody and the confirmation is so slow, I may never receive it. Anyway, if she gets everything by June 15th(that's my plan) I have to submit the 150.00 administration fee and then she can submit it to BCBS of GA. OMG...I am really starting to get nervous, anxious, excited and truly grateful to GOD

Until next time

May 25, 2006

Well, It seems as if everything is going according to my plan. Somewhat anyway. I have an appt with my PCP on 05/26/06 for a complete physical that will included a pulmonary test, CBC, EKG and a few other small test that are required by my surgeon and my insurance. My insurance company requires the pulmonary testing. My surgeon requires the rest. Which is okay. I rather be safe than sorry. I have an appt with the dietician on 06/01/06. I call the day after I left the doctors office for an appt with the psyc that Dr. Smith's office recommended. They have been giving me the run around. First, they said that the person who does the insurance verification would not be in until the next and she would call me. I call back 2 days later and then they said that she has been so busy...blah, blah, blah and would call me back. I call back 3 days later and she said your name is on my list to check insurance and that she will do it today and call me back. No call. I called her back yesterday and left a voicemail message. This willbe my final attempt and then I will find another doctor thru BCBS. The doctors name is Dr. Weinstein. Anyway, my plan is to have everything required submitted to my doctor by 06/15/06.

Also, in the packet I received for the surgeons office, it states that they required all WLS patient to lose 10% of their weight by surgery. I started Atkin on Monday, 05/22/06. I weight 346.5 lbs.....OMG!!!!!I knew I had gained some weight back, but I did not think I had gained that much back or that I was that close to 350. My highest weight ever was 365 and I swore I would never get back to 340 again and here I am almost 350. Anyway, I have lost 7 lbs so far. That's 2%. Well, it is 5am GA time and I have to go to work. I will keep you posted. I almost forgot. My insurance company does not cover the Nutritional evaluation. It cost me $92 by credit card to lock in an appt.

Until next time

July 11, 2006

It has been so long since I last updated. Nothing has gone as planned. I have not had any of my pre-op exams or consultations. I have gone to IL to visit my family for about 10 days and before that we went to NC. All that traveling has cost a fortune. Now it is time for Football camp for the boys and back to school. Anywho, while reading profiles, I came across a profile from someone in GA. I emailed her to find out who she went to for her Psych exam. She gave me the name of Connie D. Hill who is in my network and I will only have to pay for the $20 co-pay. She also advised me that she has BCBS of GA and that since they don't have a contracted dietician in our area, I can get reimbursed for the visit. I am at work typing this so I can't remember her last name. But her first name is TAMMY. I almost cried when I read her email response.

THANXS SO MUCH TAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had started to go into a deep depression trying to figure out how I could get this taken care of by the end of the year. Also, I have gained so much weight it is unreal. I am at 352 lbs. I started ATKINS again on 07/10/06. That seems to work for me. I will try to update more often. 


The picture above, I am sure I weighed about 355-360. It was the 4th and I had ate everything possible..as usual. Look at that face/neck combo. OMG I was so miserable. I can almost cry looking at this picture 

Until next time

July 22, 2006

Well I really don't have much to report today, We are finally getting our finances together after 2 vacations this summer. I will now begin to make my required pre-op appt. My new date to have all my test and evaluations done will be September 1. I have gained so much weight. I will start working out again on Monday. My knee has started to bother me again. Somedays I can barely walk.

Anyway, I don't have much to report just want to update.

Until next time

August 25, 2006

I had the Psy exam on 08/23/06. It was somewhat depressing. She asked so many personal questions that made you think about things you want to forget. Anyway it is almost over now. I have to go for the second part on 08/29/06. It should be simple. It is a questionaire of about 200 questions done on the computer. I have left a voicemail message for the Dietician. I want to schedule that appt for one day this week. Since today is Friday, I guess that wont happen. Hopefully, one day next week. Once that is done, I will send my $150 administration fee(that is some BS)so she can submit my paperwork.

Me weight is down to 343 and I am starting to feel better. My knees still have some pain, but nothing like before.

Until next time

September 22, 2006

Well it has been almost a month since I last updated. So much has happened. I have had ALL of my pre-op test and evaluations completed. And verified that they were received by my surgeons office. I submitted my administration fee of $200 dollars(was $150 but changed mid stream)They have submitted my paperwork to BCBS of GA. Now I am playing the waiting game. I will call BCBS on 09/29/06 to verfied that they have received it and to see if approved. I am so emotional about right now. I don't think I have ever been this close. I am walking around looking like a refugee because I don't want to buy any new clothes or shoes because it will be a waste of money. I wear a 30/32 now and I refuse to buy another piece of clothing in that size.

Until next time

October 02, 2006

Well, I called BCBS to verify if they have rec'd my paperwork from Dr. Dennis Smith's office. They have not. I had the rep check with the nurses in the pre-cert department and to check if anything had been scanned in. The rep checked and nothing had been rec'd. She also informed me that their was no correspondence from the surgeon office. So I called Denise at the surgeon's office and she had the receptionist tell me that she submitted it and spoke to someone name Stephanie and got a transmission number. When I asked the receptionist for it, she put Denise on the phone. Denise stated that she would call and check on it and give me a call back this afternoon. They are so full of Dill Water. I will call her back this afternoon. I figure since you increased the administration fee to $200, expect me to get $200 worth of administration work. It was so depressing. I just thought when I called they would have at least rec'd it by now. Also, I called on my short term disability benefit and found out it was best to file a claim as soon as I get a date. That way I won't be without a paycheck. My job pays 100% salary for STD. What a blessing?

In the meantime, my life is a wreck. My marriage is going nowhere fast. I am gaining weight by the minute. I am back up to 350.4 exactly. My knee gets worst with the more weight I gain. I walked around my complex with my boys this weekend and when I woke up on Sunday I was in so much pain in my knee. What is amazing is that it is just one knee that bothers me.

Hopefully, I will get approved within the next 2 week and will have a date scheduled for somewhere around the first of November. If you are reading this, please pray for me. Between my marriage and this surgery approval process, I am so depressed. I need some good news and alot of inspiration right now.

I also want to thank Kim Dent for the encouraging email she sent me yesterday. I really appreciated and needed it.

***************THANKS KIM DENT*******************

Until Next Time

October 05, 2006

After calling all week to BCBS and my surgeons office and being lied to by my surgeon office, BCBS finally has rec'd my paperwork. At one point Denise at Dr. Smith's office told me that she would have called me back but she got tired of hold for me. I have a direct line to my desk. The only person that would have put her on hold would have been me. She claimed she was put on hold by out phone system....WRONG!!!!! Not possible. Then she gave me a bogus 15 digit case # that she claim she got from BCBS. BCBS stated that their case numbers aren't that long. It should be 6 digits. Anyway, I called this morning and was informed that it was rec'd and to allow 30 business day for processing. I will call again next Tuesday. 30 business days. I will call no less than twice a week. It took my surgeon office 7 days to fax my information once they rec'd everything they needed. I figure you should be able to move a little bit faster for a $200 administration charge. Again they are full of dill water.

That's all for now

Until Next Time

October 09, 2006

************************I AM APPROVED****************

I got an email from Denise at my surgeon office stating that I have been approved. It was rec'd at BCBS on 10/05/06 and approved by 10/09/06. I can't express how happy I am. I got the good news at work and was sitting at my desk crying. This has been one long journey. Well worth it. I really needed this today. I am such a bad day. This is great. Denise stated in her email that I have a cardiac clearance, pulmonary clearance, chest x-ray, EKG, Gallbladder Ultrasound, upper GI series and all remaining lab work. I will try to schedule as many as possible on the same day. And then we can start working on a surgery date....This is so great.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

I was approved on 10/09/06. However, when I will have surgery, who knows. I am having issues with my Iron. I have been taking these pill for about 4 weeks and they really haven't done anything. The surgeons office stated that it has improved but still not enough. I have to continue taking them for another 2 weeks and hopefully it will be at an acceptabe level. If not, then I will have to get an iron infusion. I was so upset. I stillhave to get an Upper GI, Gallbladder Ultrasound, Pulmonary Test, EKG, some other lab work and go to 2 support meetings. MY GOODNESS. I am working towards getting all this done on one day, 10/24/06. That is the plan. I have expressed to my surgeon that my concern is to have a surgery date in 2006. I don't have the money for another deductible and co-insurance out of pocket.

On a lighter note. While lurking on the GA board I found Tami. She was the very first person I met on OH 2 years ago when I lived in IL. I went back and looked at her journey and read her profile. She has really worked this tool. She looks great and seems so happy. So I emailed her and she remembered me and invited me a get together in November at Juliians(its like a Dave and Buster)I plan on being their.

UNTIL NEXT TIME 

December 09, 2006

I know it has been forever since I last updated. Mostly because I could get this new thing to update.  

I finally got my iron where it needs to be. After changing my meds and 2 iron infusions. It depressed me at first but I did like my BAF family advised and just did it and it wasn't so bad after all. Other than having black shit and sitting in a room for 5 hours while they pump iron into you, its not bad at all. And I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. I have been anemic since I cn remember and my PCP have always given me iron and I have always given it away or thrown it away. I didn't think it was a big deal. I have always felt tired and no energy so I thought it was a normal feeling. I use to take tthese energy pills called go-go to give me energy during the day.  I haven't take them in 3 weeks and I fell great. So if you are reading this and not taking you iron, try taking it for about 1 month and see how much better you will fell.  

My next challenge was 5 days befor pre-op my surgeons office faxed me over my pre-op instructions which included my patient responsibilities of $3000.00. We never discused this. I was told that Denise would contact me on my  out of pocket amount. She never did. I thought it would be somewhere around $1500. I don't have $3000. After several conversations with them and billing, The total is now down to $1500. I don't have that either but it is do-able. 

I am 5 days from surgery. I found out from the pre-op session that you SHOULD try and lose as much weight in the last month before surgery. With the RNY they have to go past your liver to perform the procedure. If your liver is enlarged then they have to open you up. So I started dieting that moment. I don't want open RNY. On 12/06/06 I weighed 353.3. On 12/08/06 I weighed 351.1. Today I weigh 348.0. I don't have a goal. I just don't want to gain any weight. I am drinking plenty water and watching my fat, carbs, and calories. 
It is so hard to believe that I am this close. 5 days from today, I will be on the otherside.   

My advise is to keep all of your evaluations and test results close by at all times. I can't tell you how many times I had to fax and refax clearance letters. I carry this huge folder with me everywhere I go. It stays in my car. 

UNTIL NEXT TIME

January 22, 2007

I know it has been a long time since my last post. So much has happened. My original surgery date was 12/14/06. Because of finances, it was rescheduled to 01/17/07. I gained 11 pound during that month from depression. I went from 351 to 362.....WOW! I felt awful. I have never weighed that much. It was my highest weight. My The clothes that did fit, were tight and kept rising and pulling. My feet and ankle were swollen 24 hours a day. Little movement made me out of breath...just miserable. I went to my pre-op on 01/12/07 with my surgeon and was informed that I needed to lose at least 10 pounds before surgery in five days or he would need to reschedule to the next available or until I lose weight, OR do an open RNY. I went on clear liguids for 5 days and lost 14 pounds. I had surgery @ 10am on 01/17/07 was in recovery around noon. So far I am truly blessed. I have had minimal pain. I was in the hospital for 2 days. I will return to work on 01/29/07. The worse part was coming out of anesthesia. I felt puky. But that only lasted about 30 minutes or less. They give you something for it. I am still pretty bruised from the PICC line. But it is starting to fade as well. Other than a lack of appitite, I really don't feel like I had surgery. My weight today is 345 pounds. MY goal for January is 335. Only because I am on pureed foods and I am still swollen. 

 1st WLS GOALS

Move my car seat up
Wear regular width shoes
Fit in all my 3X, 26-28 clothes(I am now 4x, 30-32)

UNTIL NEXT TIME

January 30, 2007

Yesterday I had my 1st post-op doctors visit. I have lost 28 pounds since my surgery on 01/17/17. I feel great. I had the RNY and 3 of my six scares are barely noticeable. I have been using shea butter on them and it is working great. I really don't see much physical change. However, I am noticing some emotional change. It is hard to explain. I am not depressed or anything. I just feel so much better. It seems as if nothing is really bothering me. Its kinda like a whatever attitude. Anyway I feel great and I go back to work tomorrow. My choice to go back to work. I am so bored at home. 

I have reached all of my January goals. I weigh 335, I moved my car seat up a little, I bought a pair of shoes in size 9m, and I can fit some of my 26-28 clothes. I am still having problems getting enough protein in. A lady at the doctors office told me about a drink called ISOPURE from GNC. It has 40 grams of protein in it. She said it taste like kool-aid if you add splenda to it. I got some and she was right. Problem solved. I am so glad. I did not know what I was going to do.

I have to say emotionally, I feel so much better. Its like my spirit is happy. It is hard to explain. 

FEBRUARY GOALS
Move car seat back from past the front & back seat window divider
Wear ALL my 26-28 and some 22-24
Wear a higher more stylis shoe
Work out 3-5 days a week EVERY WEEK

UNTIL NEXT TIME

February 19, 2007

Today I had my 1 month post-op office visit. It went great my surgeon told me I was a star patient. I have lost 40 lbs. I feel great and the skirt and shirt I wore to his office were both 26/28 and were kinda big. The last time I went to his office, I wore a 30/32. All my scares have healed. All my vitals are great. I feel great about the visit. However, I have not lost a pound in a week. BAF has advised that it is a stall and will pass.  I have reached all of my February goals. My doctor advised me today that the average weight loss for a month is 20 lbs. He also told me that he has my goal set at 159. I couldn't believe that. I can't even imagine it right now. But it is something to work toward. My present weight is 322.2 pounds.

MARCH GOALS

Lose 15 lbs
Wear some 22/24
Move car seat up a little more than last month

UNTIL NEXT TIME

March 17, 2007

Today is my 2 month Surgiversary and I have lost 52 pounds so far. It Feels Great. My BMI is finally below 50.

I had my first pap smear in 20 years this month. It wasn't bad at all. I am also using birth control now. I decided on the Depo shot. I don't want to become pregnant at 43. I believe I haven't gotten pregnant because of my obesity. Now that I am losing weight I thought it would be the wise thing to do. However, I have been bleeding now for about 2 weeks. My regular 1st week was heavier than normal and this week is just spotting. Sometimes enough for a tampon. I can't wait for it to stop.  

Well I did not lose 15 lbs. I lost 10 lbs. My current weight is 310 lbs. I was on a stall at 322 for 2 weeks. Then I seen a post about fluid loading. I tried it plus starting working out 5 days a week and increased my protein. After doing that I started losing.  So I actually lost the 10 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I am grateful for the loss. I don't remember the last time I was at this weight. I am noticing some physical change

My shoe size is a 8.5M from a 9W 
The dark skin between my thighs from them rubbing is starting to get lighter
The darkness under my breast is gone
I fit so much better in all my chairs at home and work
I fit better in my car and my husbands car
I don't get out of breath doing simple things. 
I am a solid size 24
I have lost a total of 11.5 inches this month

APRIL GOAL

Lose 15 lbs
Continue to work out 5x a week
Wear a higher heel shoe
Finally get below 300 lbs
Start buying more form fitting clothes..no more tents with sleeves
Work out on the eliptical for more than 15 minutes.

Personal Goals

To walk up a flight of stairs and still be able to breath afterwoards

To cross my leg totally

To wear shoes with a heel on them and be comfortable. I just want a bunch of sexy shoes.

To be comfortable in any chair in my house(computer chair, lawn chair, recliner)

To see my collar bone(this is a big one for me)

To be smaller than at least one of my eight sisters. Right now I am the biggest person in my entire family

To walk like a normal person, not like an obese person

To wear a shirt because it fits not because it hides my rolls

 To learn how to  salsa

To play volleyball. I love playing volleyball.

To have matching bra and panties. Girdles don't have matching sets

The picture above I weight 322 lbs. I am starting to see a little difference. I am not noticing as much of a difference as everybody else seems to notice. but I will take what I can get. A little difference is better than no difference.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

April 16, 2007

Today I am one day shy of my 3-month post-op. I am doing great. I have reach and passed all of my goals

Lose 15 lbs-I lost 22 lbs
Continue to work out 5x a week-I did for the first 2 1/2 weeks
Wear a higher heel shoe- Ok I haven't started this one yet
Finally get below 300 lbs-I weigh 289
Start buying more form fitting clothes..no more tents with sleeves
Work out on the eliptical for more than 15 minutes-I really haven't brought many clothes but the ones I do buy are more form fitting

So much has happened. My sisters nieces came to visit for spring break. They were so shocked that I had lost so much weight. One sister kept starring at me and pointing out thing that were different. While shooping in the mall for my niece some shoes, we tried on some shoes. She burst out Trice your feet are so skinny. When I told her I wore a size 8, she said from a 9 wide. I just smiled and shook my head. I may not be the smallest in my family but I am no longer the biggest and it feel great. Wait until the rest of my family sees me in July. 

I tried on and fit into a size 22 leather pant. I have not had on pants since 1975 and back then they were a size 26-28. I have to admit I looked pretty good in them. I also wore my husband shirt. It was a man's size 2x. It felt so good when I put it on. I called him at work and said guess what I have on. He couldn't believe it until I got home from work. It was such a great feeling.

I am beginning to realize that I wont be able to play off these size 30-32 anymore. I wear the shirts when I am layering. But other than that the rest are just too, too big. I am into 24's and 22's. I can't believe I am only a couple of size from teen sizes.

Today I weigh 289 pounds that is 27 pounds from 100 pounds loss. Hard to believe. 

I was also asked to try out for Plus Size Modeling. I didn't but I was real flattered that they thought I could. My husband thought I should.

I have learned that my pouch does not like any beef in anything or in any form...steak, hamburger, chili, taco...anything. It wont stay down IF it goes down. Plus it make me feel so heavy in the bottom of my stomach. Even after I throw it up. I've learned that water and exercise is so important to weight loss for me. I've learned that with this pouch, no matter how much I crave cheetos, tuna will do. If I fill up my pouch with good stuff, then it doesn't matter how much I crave cheetos, once my pouch is full, it is full. If I eat one cheeto then everything comes up. I rather have the tuna. I have really learned how to control head hunger that way. I learned not to eat after 8pm. It will show on the scale at 6 pm. And it wont be nice. So I drink at least a bootle and a half of crystal light before I go to bed and pee out everything at night. It works. 

Listed below are the personal goals I have reached or passed

1.To walk up a flight of stairs and still be able to breath afterwoards

2.To be comfortable in any chair in my house(computer chair, lawn chair, recliner)

3.To be smaller than at least one of my eight sisters. Right now I am the biggest person in my entire family

4.To walk like a normal person, not like an obese person

Some are better than none. I am real proud of myself.

MAY GOALS

Lose 15 lbs
Get below 280 lbs by my birthday on May 4th. 
Continue to work out 5x a week
Wear a higher heel shoe
Work out on the eliptical for more than 15 minutes.


 
The picture above is me at 303 when my family was here.  Look how long that skirt is. It is a 30/32 rolled up at the waist because I kept tripping over it. I finally have a neck and a face. Not a face/neck combo...LOL


The Picture above is me in my leather pants size 22. I weighed 288 lbs. 74 lbs down.


UNTIL NEXT TIME 

May 19, 2007

I am 2 day past  4 month post-op. This has been a rough month. My hair is starting to thin. I have lost only 10 pounds this month. My weight today is 278. I thought for sure I would lose more. It was a struggle to lose that 10. I was on a stall for over 2 weeks and now I am bouncing back and forth from 279-278. I am doing everything I am suppose to do and still the scale really doen't move. I am having some issues with constipation. Which is probably why I am not losing like I have in the pass. I've tried everything from teas to drinking more water. I must drink at lease 120 oz of water a day. I am now taking MIRALAX and after 4 days of taking it, I finally had a bowel movement. It was such a great releif. The bottom of your stomach feels so heavy if you don't have a BM in a whicle. I will continue to take the miralx it seems to be the only thing that works.

I did have a few good things happen this month. I may not be losing pounds but I have lost 14.75 inches this month. My waist is a 38. My hips are 47. I wear a size 42D bra down from a 48DD. That is really great and I can tell since I am now wearing size 2x shirts from a 4x and 5x and I am a solid size 22 from a  tight size 32. I can crossed my legs now. My shoe size started out at 9W and last month I wore a size 8 1/2 and now I am in a size 8B and it is lose. I bought a skirt suit yesterday in a 1x. Both the skirt and top fit. They were kinda of tight. Some people might have worn it that like their clothes to fit, fit. I don't. I like a little room. But I figure it will fit like I like it another 10 pounds. I was real happy about the fact that it buttoned all the way and zipped all the way. I don't remember the last time I wore a 1x.
We moved onto a different floor at work and normally they let me bring my chair when we moved becaused they ordered me a special chair for my size. I fit in the regular chair that was already at my new desk. That was a great thing. I secretly give my old one to another girl on another floor who I thought would be more comfortable in it than the chair she has. She was really happy to get it.  I fit so much better in my car. I am noticing that I keep moving the seat up and up. I also notice yesterday that when I get in the car I don't turn the steering wheel anymore. These are great things. My BMI has moved 13 points so far. I am still considered morbid obese. But it is much better than SUPER MORBID OBESE 

Onto my goals

Lose 15 lbs-Loss 10 lbs
Get below 280 lbs by my birthday on May 4th.-Reached on May 7th 
Continue to work out 5x a week-3-4x a week
Wear a higher heel shoe-Still haven't got up the nerve
Work out on the eliptical for more than 15 minutes-I do 20 minutes but I believe I could do 30 minutes. I am going to try next week

June Goals

Lose 16 lbs(that is my century weight)
Get at or below 262 by 06/17/07
Work toward working out 5x a week
Wear a higher heel shoe
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes
BMI at/below 40



The picture above was taken with my camera phone in the bathroon at work. That is a size 2x shirt and look I have a waist. My arms are awful. I am working on them with weights. I will still probably need PS. 

UNTIL NEXT TIME 

June 17, 2007

So much has happened this month.  First of all I didn't lose the 16 lbs I planned on losing. I loss 13 lbs and I weigh 265. 3 lbs from 100 lbs loss. I really wanted to lose 100lbs in 5 month. I came real close at 97. I believe the reason I didn't make the 100 is because of constipation. I am having real issues with constipation. I tried some fiber pills called fibermucil that was recommended from a post. They made me so constipated, that I went from 1-2 BM a week to none and my face started breaking out from not having a BM. It was awful. I took them for a week trying to give them a chance to work but all they did was made me bloated and I felt slow and sluggish all week and I gained weight every single day. I took some smooth move tea to get it out of me. OMG, it took 2 days of long green logs coming out of me to finally rid my body of whatever was in those pill. I do not recommend these pills to anybody.

Remeber those leather pants from April, they are now too big. What a great feeling. I am changing so much emotional and physical. I can wear regular size knee-hi, I have moved my steering wheel down in my car. my floors don't squeak when I walk on them, my butt bone starts to hurt if I sit too long because their is not cushion. My ass is flat. It is awful. I go up and downstairs with ease. As a matter of fact, I take the stairs at work up and down 8 flights. The up is getting better. I started with taking the elevator to the 7th floor and walk up to the 8th and every 2-3 day I would add a floor. It is hard going up but it gets easier. Plus it give me some exercise on those days I don't work out. I do work out with weights on my arms. They are awful. I can cross my legs now and now it is done out of habit not curiousity. I take pictures all the time.  I can shop at Wal-Mart and Target for clothes. I am a solid size 18 and real proud of myself for that. I went from a size 22 to a size 18. I never did size 20. I don't how that happened

My weight los has really slowed down from my first couple of month but I am happy I am still losing and I will continue to work at losing.  I go home to IL in 2 week and I can't wait for my family to see me. 

                                         
This is me inthe bathroom at work. The skirt is a 2x and it is too big, the shirt is a 1x. The shirt could be smaller except that smaller wont fit my arm comfortable. The skirt is history. I will not be wearing it again. It is too big and long. 

                                         
This is me in the dressing room at Lane Bryant. The dress is fitting kinda tight but I am real proud to be in it. It is a size 16 and I could put it on. I thought this was a cute dress and I wouldn't dare pay $80 for a dress that I will only wear a few times before it is too big.

ONTO MY GOALS

Lose 16 lbs(that is my century weight)-Loss 13
Get at or below 262 by 06/17/07-Got to 265....real close 
Work toward working out 5x a week-3-4 times a week because of work
Wear a higher heel shoe-Not yet
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-still 20 because of time
BMI at/below 40-41.5..close. 255 will take me to 39

     
July Goals

Lose 15 lbs-
Get at or below 250 by 07/17/07- 
Work toward working out 5x a week-
Wear a higher heel shoe-
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-
BMI at/below 39-
To be classified as only obese not SMO- 
To have loss more than I have to lose-

UNTIL NEXT TIME

July 20, 2007

I know I am a couple of day late from my 6 month post op. I have been so busy this month. I went on vacation. I am running a one woman show at work. All in all it has been a great month. Not many changes as far as the weight goes. I am just enjoying it to the fullest. I didn't go to my doctor for my 6 month check up. I will go for a 7 month. I couldn't afford it at the time. Since he is out of network, the visit would cost $90. Since I just came back from vacation I really don't have it. 

I finally reached 100lbs gone this month. I have actually loss 112 lbs. I weigh 250 lbs. I know it is a good thing BUT I am still a big girl even after losing 112 lbs. I still have about 70 lbs to go to reach my goal and 80 to reach my doctors goal. I work so hard at losing this weight. People who say this is a quick fix don't have a clue. I still battle with my food addiction every single day. I think the further out post op I get the harder it gets. I am still having issus with constipation. My hair has started falling out. I am really going thru this strange stage now. I just want to be left alone. I think it is some sort of depression. I could work all day and go home and be by myself and be perfectly happy. I am having issues with how people treat me now. They were never mean to me before. But now they treat me like I am not invisible. They speak first, they hold the elevator open when they see me coming, they include me in conversations. Now I just want to be left alone. I don't really know how to accept the attention. I want to say if you didn't speak then don't speak now. I AM THE SAME DAMN PERSON! 
I feel so alone. Like I am the only one going thru this and nobody really understands. I have been fat my whole life and this is so new to me.

My sex life has changed so much as well. I enjoy sex but it is not the same as before. Before I used it to get people to notice and want me. Now I don't care if you notice or want me, so I haven't figured out how I feel about it. I used it to get my husband.....sorta. But I want it to be more to this relationship than sex. I thought it would be different after losing the weight, it was just the opposite. I am working on it. Trying to figure it out in my head. Because my body is not thinking about it at all. My body is telling me it could care less and I know that is not fair to my husband.  

On a liter note. I am able to cross my legs with ease and do it all the time. I go shop in any store I please. But I still get 95% of my clothes from the thrift. I wear a 16 or a 1x. That is so amazing to me. I could probably wear a smaller size shirt but a smaller size wont fit my arms. I feel great. I am always moving and not getting tired.I love the way I look. I am taking the BAF Challenge with Cookie and I want to lose 56 lbs by 12/31/07. I started at 255. By the new year I should be/Will be below 200 lbs.That is 11.2 lbs a month, very doable. I can say this that it is getting real hard to lose 15 lbs a month.

ONTO MY GOALS

Lose 15 lbs-I loss 15 lbs
Get at or below 250 by 07/17/07- Reached it on 07/19/07
Work toward working out 5x a week-Have not worked out in 2 weeks
Wear a higher heel shoe-I wear a heel at least 2x a week
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-not
BMI at/below 39-BMI is 39.5. I am real proud of that 
To be classified as only obese not SMO- Classified as OBESE
To have loss more than I have to lose-I have loss 112 and have 70 to lose




This is my century card. It is so cute. I absolutely love it and I am so proud of myself for it.

ONTO MY GOALS

 Lose 15 lbs-
Get at or below 235 by 08/17/07- 
Start working out again-
Wear a higher heel shoe-
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-
BMI at/below 36-
To get out more and go more place
To eat less carbs daily.


Me and my best friend on the 4th

August 18, 2007

This is the 7th month post -op and it has been my worst month yet. I lost 5 lbs this month. I weigh 245 lbs. I don't know what caused the stall. I though t it would be better since I cut out the crackers and the snacking all day at work. I am still having issues with constipation. Scool has started so I can't take anything overnight anymore because I get up so early that by time it starts to work I will be in my car....not a good thing. I am not working out like I should be. We were short handed for about 3 months at work and I was stuck in my chair all day. Now that we are back to a full crew I started working out again just this week. OMG was it hard. I thought I was going to die. Anyway, I am not losing alot of weight but I am losing inches. How is that, I don't know since I haven't been working out. All my 18 clothes are too big. Especially in the waist. I feel great and I like the way I look.

This journey takes you on so many physical and mental issue. At first they seem bad but when you think about it, it's really not that bad. It is kinda like being reborn. I am learning how to walk with losing this weight. I have to learn how to talk and respond to people without coming across like a total bitch. I have to learn how to eat. The person I use to be is still around but she is some what different.         

Lose 15 lbs-Loss 5 lbs
Get at or below 235 by 08/17/07-Made it to 245 
Start working out again-worked out twice the entire month
Wear a higher heel shoe-I did wear heels a few times
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-didn't happer
BMI at/below 36-38.7...getting their
To get out more and go more place-worked all the time 
To eat less carbs daily-Did this no crackers all month.

NEXT MONTH GOALS

This month was better than last month for me. I attended the Atlanta Event and met some great people from different forums on OH. I got a chance to meet Amy Williams. She is just the nicest person. She had ha so many challenges with her journey, yet she is still a pleasant person. That is one of my concerns...that I fight this obesity fight everyday it will turm me into a mean, bitter person. Just from trying to be normal. I don't think I really know what normal is anymore. I feel like I look close to normal but I want to feel normal. It is hard to explain. I guess feeling normal is feeling that I fit into the normal world without feeling like I am different.  Anyway, I got the chance to meet Albertina. she is a lady I met off of BAF and she is pre-op and came to Atlanta to meet Dr. Smith and do some of her pre-op testing. She also went to the Atlant Event with me. We had a great time talking to everybody and the guess speakers were good as well. They talked about new procedures, PS, emotional issues, and fitness. I really enjoyed myself. EVERYBODY looked so good.

As far as my weight loss and eating is concerned. I have loss more weight this month than last month but it has been a harder struggle. I know it has a lot to do with the fact that I may workout once a week. The good thing is that when I do I don't feel challenged. I think I need to find a personal trainer. I wish I could have those month back when I was losing 15 lbs. a month. Emotionally I feel better this month. My marriage is better and I feel better. I started the 5 month challenge on BAF. I want to lose 56 lbs by 12/31. That will take me to 199 lbs by 2008. So far I have loss 17. I have 39 lbs to go in about 15 weeks. I gotta get focused and I must start working out more. I will start on Monday. I need to lose 2.6 lbs per week. I should be able to do that if I get back on track. I am going to do it.

Lose 15 lbs-loss 7 lbs
Get at or below 235 by 09/17/07-made it to 238 
Start working out again-NOT!
Wear a higher heel shoe-I did real good on this one
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-NOT!
BMI at/below 36-37.3 real close - Just obese
To get out more and go more place-Did better
To eat less carbs daily.-I only eat about 15 grams a day



Amy William and me at the Atlanta Event on 09/08/07 


Just me...Gotta find a better bra


Stephanie, Shaylene, Kayiesha, and me....
Albertina, Yolanda, Erin, and me....

NEXT MONTH GOALS

Lose 15 lbs-
Get at or below 223 by 10/17/07- 
Start working out again-
Wear a higher heel shoe-
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-
BMI at/below 36-
To get out more and go more place-
To eat less carbs daily-

UNTIL NEXT MONTH

Well I weigh 226 lbs. That is 136 pounds gone in 9 month. I am 26 lbs from 200. WOW!!!! I know sometimes I may complain about how slow I am losing now compared to in the beginning. When you put it down on print, it seems to be pretty impressive. Their are momments when I look at myself in the mirror and almost cry. It is so hard to believe it is me. Sometime it almost brings me to tear. I am real proud of myself.   

This month I had the pleasant opportunity of being an Angel. I really didn't know what that meant but I jumped in. The end result is that I am NieceB Angel and she had a successful surgery. I also have made a new friend for life. She live here in GA and that make it better as well. We have not had a change to meet in person but that will happen soon. 

Not much has changed since last month. ALL of my clothes are too big. I fit real good in 16 and kinda tight in 14. I need more underwear and bras. I love wear pantyhose now. Mainly because they hold everything togother. No Nonsense great shapes are my favorite. My new favorite food is ground chicken. I make patties out of it and cook them on the George Foreman Grill. They are delicious. They have no carb, only 9 grams of fat(less than beef and turkey) and 22 grams of protein per patty. Somedays I have 3 a day.... breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Unfornunately, the only place that sells it ground up is Kroger.  I also have started eating yogurt. I eat Yoplait light-very cherry. I freeze it and it is taste great.  l am glad that it is staying down and not making me sick. It made me sick right after surgery but now I can eat it. I am real glad about that so now I have more choices in breakfast and snacks. 

Also, I bought some pants this month and liked them enough to keep them. However, The next time I buy some they will be from the thrift or real inexpensive. I didn't pay much for them but they are already starting to get big. I also cut all my hair off. Less than 1/2 inch. I am real happy about it. It was so unhealthy looking and I rather it be short and healthy then long and scraggly looking. 

Lose 15 lbs-loss 12 lbs
Get at or below 223 by 10/17/07- made it to 226
Start working out again-some but still not like I should be
Wear a higher heel shoe-Doing real good on this one. They feel better with less weight. I wear heels about 3x a week
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-Not! But I will in the next 30 days
BMI at/below 36-35.4-Just Obese
To get out more and go more place-Worked alot this month not alot of time for anything else 
To eat less carbs daily-I really don't eat many carbs. This is not all that challenging to me

NEXT MONTHS GOALS

Lose 15 lbs-
To make it into the 2 teens by 11/17/07
Commit to moving for 30 minutes a day
BMI at/below 33
Get out more



12/17/07-Well it has been 2 months since I updated. I have been so busy lately working 2 jobs trying to catch up on bills and keep my life together. 

So much has changed since I had WLS. The other day I was talking to somebody about the surgery and she said you look so different I hardly knew who you was. I can understand that since sometime I look in the mirror in amazement and wonder who I am. I look different and emotionally I feel different. I don't know if saying I am better than I was would be a true statement. I can say I am different. I am more confident and self assuring. It is so strange. I am more uncomfortble with compliments. When I was almost 400 lbs I couldn't wait for somebody, anybody to give me a compliment about anything. Now it makes me so uncomfortable. I think it is because they come so often that they feel more like sometimes an insult. 

Today I wore pant....out of the house for the first time in about 35 years. They were a size 16. I could hardly believe it and I looked pretty good in them. I got so many compliments. I took a couple of pictures with my phone. I will post them soon. 

My pouch is doing great. The only problem I am having and have always had is with constipation. I have tried so many different products. I think I have had only  5 BM without help since surgery. I am now trying probiotic and I will let you know what happens. This is such an awful feeling. I feel like something is stuck. Even when I drink smooth move tea, I still don't feel like I had a complete BM just some of it. I have notice that my face is starting to break out from the lack of BM. 

I am finding out that what my pouch will tolerate today can and will change tomorrow. It is so strange. One week I can eat yogurt and then next week I can't and then the next week I can again. Some weeks it is so sensitive. I have also found out that I really like just plain Desani water more than anything else to drink. 

Last Goals from 2 months ago

Lose 15 lbs-loss 14 in 2 months
Get at or below 223 by 10/17/07- 212 this morning
Start working out again-NOT
Wear a higher heel shoe-Everyday
work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-NOT
BMI at/below 36-33.2, I am very proud of this
To get out more and go more place-working 2 jobs
To eat less carbs daily-doing real good.

NEXT MONTH GOAL AND NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

To have my 1 year check up on 01/17/07
To start working out again on a consistance basis
To start weight training for muscle tone
To get below 200 by 01/17/07
To start researching and have concrete information on PS by May
To do either 100 crunches or scrunches everynight
To get down to 170 lbs and maintain it or below until and after PS
To get a better job with more money and more room for improvement

UNTIL NEXT MONTH 

April 05, 2008

WOW!!!! it has been 3 months since I have posted anything. So much has changed in 3 months. The last time I posted I still lived in GA. I've since then left my husband in GA and moved back home to IL. I have to say that other than WLS it was the best thing and the hardest thing I ever done for myself. It was a very abusive relationship that had no trust or respect. It has not been an easy road to travel but GOD has been watching over me and taking care of me the entire time. I am now working and living in IL and loving it. 

My WLS has been moving right along as well. I am at a stall right now. I have been weighing 188 for the pass 3 weeks. I don't like the stalls but I think emotionally I am dealing with them better. I know that the scale will start to move again.  I have gone to my first support meeting and I will continue to go. I realize that I need them. I am having issues with food and self image that I need to get a handle on. I am so worried most days about gaining weight that I wont eat. Then there are days where I will eat and eat until I dump. This is not good. I know neither is healthy and that is why I went to the meeting. I did find out that some of the emotional issues that I am having are normal/common. 

So many things have changed in 3 months. 

1. I love just plain water with ice. No flavor added
2. Chewing on ice calms my appitite but makes me colder
3. My doctors goal is attainable. Pre-op I thought 170 lbs was not possible for me. 
4. I have more energy than I ever thought imaginable.
5. I weigh under 200 lbs
6. I can wear a size 12 in anything and feel and look good in it.
7. Just cause I can eat it today doesn't mean I can tomorrow. EVERYDAY is different for me and my food.
8. I still have issues with constipation and BM. After 15 month pre-op I still have issues.
9. My favorite pig out food is this peanut mix I make with soynuts, postacio nuts and sunflower seeds. It also helps with my BM.
10. I wear at least 2 inch heels almost everyday and love them
  
Goals for May 17th-16 month post-op

Lose 10 lbs-
Get at or below 180 by 05/17/08- 188 this morning
Get a hairstyle that works for me.
Continue to work out on the eliptical 30 minutes
BMI at/below 28.0, it is now 29.4 and I am very proud of this
To get out more and go more place-working 2 jobs
To eat less carbs daily-doing real good.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

July 05, 2008

Well it seems as if it has been almost 3 months again since I have update. 
I am trying to do better. So much has happened since April. The best thing is that my divorce was final on May 15th. I know to some that is not a good thing. However, I was in a very abusive relationship. I can't believe I said that. It is hard to really say that...especially when you are talking aabout yourself. I am glad it is over. 

I have been hanging out with some of the ladies from BAF that live in Chicago. I love it! They are a great group of beautiful black women. I am always looking forward to spending time with them. It is always a good time. I went to a Martini party a couple a weeks ago. I thought I couldn't drink. However, I ended up drinking 8 or 9 drinks. I had a great time.

I am still looking for my own place that I can afford. I was going to roomy with a friend of mine from ATL. I now don't know how much of a good idea that is . I am pretty sure he wants more. I just want half of the rent. So now I am looking for a place for just me. I get alot of guys trying to talk to me. or should I say trying to have sex with me. This single this is strange. The men these days don't want to date they want to have sex.....not happening. It get frustrating sometimes. 

So many things have changed in almost 3 months

1. My hair is blond and I love it

2. I am divorce and I love it.

3. I can once again drink protein shakes. I couldn't for the last 5 month

4. I am still addicted to crackers....OMG they are the enemy

5. I have and had to cut all ties with my best friend of 35 years. She was not very accepting of me being the same size and then smaller that she. I couldn't take the sly insults anymore.

6. I wear a lose size 12 or a somewhat tight size 10. Unbelievable

7. I am still single.....WTF

8. I am 4 pounds from my doctors goal of 169. Wow! Never ina million years would I have guessed that I would weigh a hundred anything, so this is so amazing to me. I am proud of my damn self

9. I weigh 173 lbs and I still see fat. I am still fighting with self image issue. These are things they don't tell about in pre-op seminars. Even if they did I would have still had WLS.  

10. My new pig out food is  any kind of can beans. 

11. I can and do wear bikini panties.....and I love how I look in them

Lose 10 lbs-Loss14
Get at or below 180 by 05/17/08- 188 this morning-174.0 this mornig
Get a hairstyle that works for me.Blond and Beautiful
Continue to work out on the eliptical 30 minutes-NOT!
BMI at/below 28.0, it is now 29.4 and I am very proud of this-27.2
To get out more and go more place-working 2 jobs-1 job party animal
To eat less carbs daily-doing real good.-doing really good at

November 29, 2008

I know it has been forever since I last updated. So much has been going on in my life. Yet I live a very simple life. Kinda hard to explain. I am doing some things that I am proud of and some things I am not. My weight range is from 161 to 163. I am really starting to get back focus.  My goal weight for me is 150. My surgeons weight is 159. At one point at the end of October I was at 170.  I was depressed about something  and was eating everything in sight. I wear a size 10 and 8. the 10s are starting to get big and not look as good. It is really amazing to associate a size 8 with me.  But I will take it.

I am also starting to research PS. I have to have a hysterectomy in March and I want to have both done at the same time. This skin is really starting to depress me . I still see a fat girl when I look in the mirror. How do you wear a size 8 and have all this skin. I can actually stuff my skin into anything. It is empty skin and I can pull and stuff it anywhere. It is awful. Plus I don't feel sexy when it comes to intimacy.

I found out that a person who I thought was my friend(I thought she was a real close friend)really wasn't and that she had been saying some really mean things about me to one of her friends. I had to step away from that.

I found out that wrong is wrong no matter how good he feels and fit. I am working on stepping away from that......I thin

06/01/09

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