Project_Andrea
Not too tight -- it's just restriction
Oct 15, 2007
The day of my first fill last week was a bit eye-opening. I was worried that I might be filled too much. A hot bath and 8 hours of sleep later, no problems. Now that's not to say that it's not an adjustment, being restricted, that is.
I have been finding out just how poorly I really have been chewing. Now I have to chew, chew, chew - and frankly that's not automatic. I can feel most everything going down, including, and sometimes very strangely, water. Foods are sometimes easier than liquid! Still, not being hungry is a good thing. Getting in all of the nutrition is another new focus that is not automatic.
Finding foods that I tolerate well is an issue right now. Cottage cheese (believe it or not) and tuna fish mixed with plenty of light mayo (believe it or not) are both difficult. Strange. Popcorn is good everytime. Okay. Now go figure.
Speaking of automatic, it's amazing how your head is sometimes just not attached to your body at all. When I do feel hungry, it's sort of a surprise. So I go on auto-pilot and build a salad the size of a large dinner plate. Only now, I can only eat the turkey and some of the cheese on top, several bites of lettuce, and 2 crackers. There's no way I could eat the portion I prepared. So how is it that my mind doesn't yet know that my stomach is no longer as big as my mind? So strange. And I don't even think about it until I have to stop eating. And HOLY COW, I'm not hungry for 4-5 hours, which is NOT to say I don't think about eating. The head voice is still there; but it's no longer so loud that I hear nothing else. I play little games with myself to get distracted. It works.
At any rate, I think I'm doing okay on the eating. Fact is that I will adapt soon enough, because the band will not let me ease my way into figuring it all out. The information is immediate! It's not any fun to feel that food slowly work it's way down your throat like a big ol' stuck horse pill vitamin....sliiiiiding down so slowly until it lands with a thud at the bottom where you can still feel that sucker. Not sure which is worse, the trip down to bottom or landing there.
I suppose I'll go through this little cycle each fill. Then I'll be able to eat more and then it's time to get a fill. So really I can relax knowing that this is how it is, and so now I can start exercising instead of waiting for a "perfect" time when everything has calmed down so I don't "upset" any progress I'm making by focusing on more than one thing! Okay, it's clear that's one of my stories I tell myself to keep myself from doing those things I know would be good for me! As if I can't keep a couple of plates spinning....plates! Wouldn't you know my figure of speeech would be food related :-)
Haven't weighed -- my day is Thursday, so not sure of pounds lost since my fill, but I can tell you that I feel somewhat slimmer in my waist/butt area. I'm so ready go down a size, or feel I'm truly on my way; but it seems it is coming more slowly than I would like. However, I can wait. I remind myself not to be so impatient and to enjoy the fact that this will be the last time I lose this same weight. Instead of obsessing with the scale, I can truly put my mind to work on other things that help me. I can already see that it takes time for your mind to know your body is changing. I can see that hating myself for not losing very fast is the same as hating myself for being fat. Let's NOT replace the self-loathing with self-loathing, please.
I'm happy with where I am going. For the first time in a very long time, I have more energy (not by leaps and bounds!), but noticeable. I'm doing very well in my job, food isn't controlling me, and I am feeling stronger within. I am solid and capable.
That's not weight loss -- that's me changing. All is well, and I am satisfied today. Satisfied, accepting, and peaceful is not a bad way to end this day.
I have been finding out just how poorly I really have been chewing. Now I have to chew, chew, chew - and frankly that's not automatic. I can feel most everything going down, including, and sometimes very strangely, water. Foods are sometimes easier than liquid! Still, not being hungry is a good thing. Getting in all of the nutrition is another new focus that is not automatic.
Finding foods that I tolerate well is an issue right now. Cottage cheese (believe it or not) and tuna fish mixed with plenty of light mayo (believe it or not) are both difficult. Strange. Popcorn is good everytime. Okay. Now go figure.
Speaking of automatic, it's amazing how your head is sometimes just not attached to your body at all. When I do feel hungry, it's sort of a surprise. So I go on auto-pilot and build a salad the size of a large dinner plate. Only now, I can only eat the turkey and some of the cheese on top, several bites of lettuce, and 2 crackers. There's no way I could eat the portion I prepared. So how is it that my mind doesn't yet know that my stomach is no longer as big as my mind? So strange. And I don't even think about it until I have to stop eating. And HOLY COW, I'm not hungry for 4-5 hours, which is NOT to say I don't think about eating. The head voice is still there; but it's no longer so loud that I hear nothing else. I play little games with myself to get distracted. It works.
At any rate, I think I'm doing okay on the eating. Fact is that I will adapt soon enough, because the band will not let me ease my way into figuring it all out. The information is immediate! It's not any fun to feel that food slowly work it's way down your throat like a big ol' stuck horse pill vitamin....sliiiiiding down so slowly until it lands with a thud at the bottom where you can still feel that sucker. Not sure which is worse, the trip down to bottom or landing there.
I suppose I'll go through this little cycle each fill. Then I'll be able to eat more and then it's time to get a fill. So really I can relax knowing that this is how it is, and so now I can start exercising instead of waiting for a "perfect" time when everything has calmed down so I don't "upset" any progress I'm making by focusing on more than one thing! Okay, it's clear that's one of my stories I tell myself to keep myself from doing those things I know would be good for me! As if I can't keep a couple of plates spinning....plates! Wouldn't you know my figure of speeech would be food related :-)
Haven't weighed -- my day is Thursday, so not sure of pounds lost since my fill, but I can tell you that I feel somewhat slimmer in my waist/butt area. I'm so ready go down a size, or feel I'm truly on my way; but it seems it is coming more slowly than I would like. However, I can wait. I remind myself not to be so impatient and to enjoy the fact that this will be the last time I lose this same weight. Instead of obsessing with the scale, I can truly put my mind to work on other things that help me. I can already see that it takes time for your mind to know your body is changing. I can see that hating myself for not losing very fast is the same as hating myself for being fat. Let's NOT replace the self-loathing with self-loathing, please.
I'm happy with where I am going. For the first time in a very long time, I have more energy (not by leaps and bounds!), but noticeable. I'm doing very well in my job, food isn't controlling me, and I am feeling stronger within. I am solid and capable.
That's not weight loss -- that's me changing. All is well, and I am satisfied today. Satisfied, accepting, and peaceful is not a bad way to end this day.
<GULP> First fill today <GULP>
Oct 11, 2007
I had my first fill today -- six weeks out from surgery date. I haven't struggled all that much, but to say that is somewhat deceiving. The truth is more like I have been able to eat whatever I like in amounts I hoped never to be able to eat again....and so I HAVEN'T struggled that much!
As a matter of fact, I've only lost a total of 18 pounds since my pre-op diet. To be exact, that means I lost 10 on the pre-op, and 8 in the last 6 weeks -- 1.33 lb/wk.
At any rate, my fill was today. After waiting almost an hour in the surgeon's office (hate that), he spent 5 minutes with me and said I was doing fine. Unzipped my pants and gave me a 3cc fill in my 10cc AP band. Felt nothing. Zipped up and left.
Thought to sip some water to test the fill before I got too far away from the surgeon's office -- like I had read on OH -- a tip I filed away in my mind for my fills, but somehow didn't think of until I was in the car. By the way, my appt was at 9:45 and when I walked into the door, I was hungry since I didn't eat anything prior to. As I waited in the waiting room, I was busy thinking about what I could get on my way to work to fill my empty, growling stomach.
Sip in the car and felt a definite gurgle, gurgle, little burp, gurgle, gurgle. Whoa. I think that means my drain into my stomach has definitely shrunk with the fill. Still it went down, and I drove onto work already thinking about what all I had to do. I had completely forgotten the need to put anything into my stomach. That lasted the entire day. Hunger forgotten.
I had a Slimfast high-protein at work. It took me the entire workday to get it sipped down. Lots of noise in my chest/stoma as some air passed through. It was like my stomach was growling way above where I would have said my stomach was. Kept sipping water all afternoon, but it had to be TINY sips. Gurgle, gurgle.
Actually felt not that great all day. My left shoulder is where I feel when I'm full. My shoulder hurt all day and into the evening now. I was able to have some full liquid soup, which helped some of the feeling that "I must eat". But I am not even remotely hungry. Forcing my water to get proper intake. Never thought that would be a problem for me!
Just curious to see if I am too tight, which I certainly think I might be; or if this is the initial swelling that is part of a new fill and the 1-2 days liquid nutrition afterwards. I should know more tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'm off to a hot bath to see if that eases some of the shoulder pain.
Happy to say that for the moment I do have some restriction, and it had occurred to me only yesterday that at the rate I was going, all I could hope for is to not put more weight on. Today feels different, and I'm feeling more hopeful.
It's nice to have some confirmation that there really is a band in my stomach. So although my band birthday was 8/27...only today do I feel that I have some help in meeting my health goal.
Could never really explain to anyone what all of this feels like in my body. It's certainly quite the experience.
As a matter of fact, I've only lost a total of 18 pounds since my pre-op diet. To be exact, that means I lost 10 on the pre-op, and 8 in the last 6 weeks -- 1.33 lb/wk.
At any rate, my fill was today. After waiting almost an hour in the surgeon's office (hate that), he spent 5 minutes with me and said I was doing fine. Unzipped my pants and gave me a 3cc fill in my 10cc AP band. Felt nothing. Zipped up and left.
Thought to sip some water to test the fill before I got too far away from the surgeon's office -- like I had read on OH -- a tip I filed away in my mind for my fills, but somehow didn't think of until I was in the car. By the way, my appt was at 9:45 and when I walked into the door, I was hungry since I didn't eat anything prior to. As I waited in the waiting room, I was busy thinking about what I could get on my way to work to fill my empty, growling stomach.
Sip in the car and felt a definite gurgle, gurgle, little burp, gurgle, gurgle. Whoa. I think that means my drain into my stomach has definitely shrunk with the fill. Still it went down, and I drove onto work already thinking about what all I had to do. I had completely forgotten the need to put anything into my stomach. That lasted the entire day. Hunger forgotten.
I had a Slimfast high-protein at work. It took me the entire workday to get it sipped down. Lots of noise in my chest/stoma as some air passed through. It was like my stomach was growling way above where I would have said my stomach was. Kept sipping water all afternoon, but it had to be TINY sips. Gurgle, gurgle.
Actually felt not that great all day. My left shoulder is where I feel when I'm full. My shoulder hurt all day and into the evening now. I was able to have some full liquid soup, which helped some of the feeling that "I must eat". But I am not even remotely hungry. Forcing my water to get proper intake. Never thought that would be a problem for me!
Just curious to see if I am too tight, which I certainly think I might be; or if this is the initial swelling that is part of a new fill and the 1-2 days liquid nutrition afterwards. I should know more tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'm off to a hot bath to see if that eases some of the shoulder pain.
Happy to say that for the moment I do have some restriction, and it had occurred to me only yesterday that at the rate I was going, all I could hope for is to not put more weight on. Today feels different, and I'm feeling more hopeful.
It's nice to have some confirmation that there really is a band in my stomach. So although my band birthday was 8/27...only today do I feel that I have some help in meeting my health goal.
Could never really explain to anyone what all of this feels like in my body. It's certainly quite the experience.
Day 9 -- Kickin' around a little bit more
Sep 04, 2007
My long weekend was restful, but I didn't feel that great. Today is the best I've felt since surgery. Finally it feels like I have relaxed and this is my real life! I believe I was finding it hard to get a good routine down with the drinking/eating/vitamin pressures! But today I'm working my plan and I am not hungry or confused. Back to work full-time, and it's good to be back. I admit I'm not as energetic mentally as I expected to be, but the truth seems to be that I am still consumed with the surgery and my life outside of work right now. That's okay; today it feels that it will begin fading.
Today is Day 9
10oz Isopure - 20 grams protein
multivitamin
16 oz of water
calcium
6 oz tomato soup
16 oz of water
10 oz Isopure - 20 grams of protein
8 oz of blended ham and bean soup
16 oz of water
SF popsicle
1 cup nonfat milk w/Instant Breakfast - 14 grams of protein
My stomach is still bloated though no longer swollen. My scale shows a weight loss of 5 pounds, but I can see in my face that I've lost weight. The scale just doesn't seem to be a good indicator right now, so I'm going to leave it alone. There is no way I'm not losing weight based on how much I'm eating. I suspect fluid retention. Five pounds is good mind you, but it just seems (perhaps irrationally so) that I should be shedding the weight like crazy since I am consuming so little. Took that thought to the OH message board, and got some good perspective from the responses.
I can improve getting in more protein, drinking more water, and exercising more. I meet with my surgeon tomorrow (Wednesday) for my post-op appt. After checking in with him, I'll start my walking program. Nothing major, but aiming for 20-30 minutes daily. Geez, maybe it will help with all of the gas rumbling around inside of me!
I can tell my head hunger is rearing its nasty presence -- I found myself watching cooking programs on TV Monday afternoon -- food that I will not be eating! That's such a cruel thing to do to myself! But the focus on food is coming back. Now all of a sudden I have this huge interest in cooking. ARGH! Soon I'll be looking for restriction; I can tell it won't be long. It is rather nice though not to have been consumed with food all of this time. I'm into my 2nd week of full liquids and I am not suffering. This time next week I'll be on mushies, and that sounds pretty good I admit.
I spent some time on OH success stories last night, and it was so motivating to see the changes in weight that so many have achieved with the band. It was a great reminder that my process is just beginning, and that I will soon be one who is losing weight instead of being in this stand-still place. How I look forward to having energy again and wanting to do things! I've been a bump on a rotting log for way too long. I'm ready to get active in my life. Here I come.
And on that note, I'm beginning to get a little bit excited about my Florida vacation in three weeks! It will be so nice to lay on the beach and feel the sunshine. Hurricanes: STAY AWAY!
Today is Day 9
10oz Isopure - 20 grams protein
multivitamin
16 oz of water
calcium
6 oz tomato soup
16 oz of water
10 oz Isopure - 20 grams of protein
8 oz of blended ham and bean soup
16 oz of water
SF popsicle
1 cup nonfat milk w/Instant Breakfast - 14 grams of protein
My stomach is still bloated though no longer swollen. My scale shows a weight loss of 5 pounds, but I can see in my face that I've lost weight. The scale just doesn't seem to be a good indicator right now, so I'm going to leave it alone. There is no way I'm not losing weight based on how much I'm eating. I suspect fluid retention. Five pounds is good mind you, but it just seems (perhaps irrationally so) that I should be shedding the weight like crazy since I am consuming so little. Took that thought to the OH message board, and got some good perspective from the responses.
I can improve getting in more protein, drinking more water, and exercising more. I meet with my surgeon tomorrow (Wednesday) for my post-op appt. After checking in with him, I'll start my walking program. Nothing major, but aiming for 20-30 minutes daily. Geez, maybe it will help with all of the gas rumbling around inside of me!
I can tell my head hunger is rearing its nasty presence -- I found myself watching cooking programs on TV Monday afternoon -- food that I will not be eating! That's such a cruel thing to do to myself! But the focus on food is coming back. Now all of a sudden I have this huge interest in cooking. ARGH! Soon I'll be looking for restriction; I can tell it won't be long. It is rather nice though not to have been consumed with food all of this time. I'm into my 2nd week of full liquids and I am not suffering. This time next week I'll be on mushies, and that sounds pretty good I admit.
I spent some time on OH success stories last night, and it was so motivating to see the changes in weight that so many have achieved with the band. It was a great reminder that my process is just beginning, and that I will soon be one who is losing weight instead of being in this stand-still place. How I look forward to having energy again and wanting to do things! I've been a bump on a rotting log for way too long. I'm ready to get active in my life. Here I come.
And on that note, I'm beginning to get a little bit excited about my Florida vacation in three weeks! It will be so nice to lay on the beach and feel the sunshine. Hurricanes: STAY AWAY!
Seven days out
Sep 02, 2007
Here we are on Sunday - one week out. Today is a much better day. No real pain on the incisions, though I still do have a really annoying pain at the tip of my left shoulder. Before I go to bed, I do take some Tylenol or the pain med to get it off of my mind. It's such an odd place to have a pain.
While I am feeling good, I'm still not terribly active. I get tired so easily -- not sleepy, but just bone tired. Saturday I went to the store for no more than 30 minutes, and by the time I go home, you'd think I had been mowing a football field I was so tired. It lasted all day. It's sort of like head hunger in a way. My mind hungers that my body be able to do all that I normally do, but for right now, that is changed, and not a possibility. Certainly makes me wonder when exactly I'll be at 100%, which I need to be for work. Ah well.
Protein has become such an issue with me. My doc instructions tell me I must get 60-70 grams of protein daily, plus the 64oz water. The protein shakes make me gag. I broke down and paid some big bucks for Isopure protein water, which has 40 grams of protein in 20 oz. It's better, but still pretty ghastly. I'm on full liquids for another week, then can begin having pureed foods, so that is something to look forward to; however, my doc expects that most of my protein will be from these supplemental drinks for up to five months! Yikes.
The other thing that I am struggling with, and I know this sounds funny, is I am supposed to have my protein "meal", a liquid, but I'm also supposed to be following the band rules of not drinking 30m before/60m after. This is messing with my head, because it's all liquid! I am starting to get hungry, but find the protein "meal" fills me up immediately, and I can go long periods without needing anything. Other posts on OH speak about the idea of having protein every 3 hours to keep the metabolism up. I think I agree with that because when I'm able to do that successfully -- and it takes some real effort to keep an eye on it, my scale shows some weight loss. I'll just have to do better and literally scheduled my "meals" and water in between, which I have not done yet because I'm not relying on hunger to send me to the fridge. Very odd stuff!
My post-op doc appt is Wednesday at 10 days. I'll be curious to see how I'm doing, and what to expect next.
I'm also starting to get very curious about how I will do when I go on vacation in three weeks. What in the world will I be eating? Hopefully it will all just work out. I'll take plenty of the protein supplements so I'm covered, but it's just hard to predict how I'll be feeling, what I'll be wanting, and what I'll actually be capable of consuming.
Food tracking:
Friday, August 31
1 muscle milk (GROSS!) 22 grams of protein
1 Isopure 40 grams of protein
tomato soup 1/2 cup
2 16oz waters
Saturday, Sept 1
Isopure (3/4) 30 grams of protein; 15 oz water
blended soup: cheese, cream of chicken and pureed broccoli (1.5 cups)
2 SF popsicles
1 SF fudgesicle
1/2 cup FF ice milk
40 oz of water
Sunday, Sept 2
Isopure 40 grams of protein; 20 oz water
pea soup blended 2 ounces
2 SF popsicles
20 oz water
6 oz Isopure - 12 grams of protein
That's it for now!
While I am feeling good, I'm still not terribly active. I get tired so easily -- not sleepy, but just bone tired. Saturday I went to the store for no more than 30 minutes, and by the time I go home, you'd think I had been mowing a football field I was so tired. It lasted all day. It's sort of like head hunger in a way. My mind hungers that my body be able to do all that I normally do, but for right now, that is changed, and not a possibility. Certainly makes me wonder when exactly I'll be at 100%, which I need to be for work. Ah well.
Protein has become such an issue with me. My doc instructions tell me I must get 60-70 grams of protein daily, plus the 64oz water. The protein shakes make me gag. I broke down and paid some big bucks for Isopure protein water, which has 40 grams of protein in 20 oz. It's better, but still pretty ghastly. I'm on full liquids for another week, then can begin having pureed foods, so that is something to look forward to; however, my doc expects that most of my protein will be from these supplemental drinks for up to five months! Yikes.
The other thing that I am struggling with, and I know this sounds funny, is I am supposed to have my protein "meal", a liquid, but I'm also supposed to be following the band rules of not drinking 30m before/60m after. This is messing with my head, because it's all liquid! I am starting to get hungry, but find the protein "meal" fills me up immediately, and I can go long periods without needing anything. Other posts on OH speak about the idea of having protein every 3 hours to keep the metabolism up. I think I agree with that because when I'm able to do that successfully -- and it takes some real effort to keep an eye on it, my scale shows some weight loss. I'll just have to do better and literally scheduled my "meals" and water in between, which I have not done yet because I'm not relying on hunger to send me to the fridge. Very odd stuff!
My post-op doc appt is Wednesday at 10 days. I'll be curious to see how I'm doing, and what to expect next.
I'm also starting to get very curious about how I will do when I go on vacation in three weeks. What in the world will I be eating? Hopefully it will all just work out. I'll take plenty of the protein supplements so I'm covered, but it's just hard to predict how I'll be feeling, what I'll be wanting, and what I'll actually be capable of consuming.
Food tracking:
Friday, August 31
1 muscle milk (GROSS!) 22 grams of protein
1 Isopure 40 grams of protein
tomato soup 1/2 cup
2 16oz waters
Saturday, Sept 1
Isopure (3/4) 30 grams of protein; 15 oz water
blended soup: cheese, cream of chicken and pureed broccoli (1.5 cups)
2 SF popsicles
1 SF fudgesicle
1/2 cup FF ice milk
40 oz of water
Sunday, Sept 2
Isopure 40 grams of protein; 20 oz water
pea soup blended 2 ounces
2 SF popsicles
20 oz water
6 oz Isopure - 12 grams of protein
That's it for now!
Three days out from surgery
Aug 30, 2007
My surgery went very well it seems. I was not even a little nervous, and seriously everything went like clockwork. Doc did locate a small hernia while in my belly, but that was fixed up no problem. I had literally no pain after the surgery, was up and walking way before a nurse came to check on me, and I had a hard time stopping once I got home. My surgery took about 2 hours; I went in at 12:40, and was out at 2:45. They let me go home at 7:00pm after going to the restroom to pee. At that time, they allowed me to have my first sip of water, which was heaven -- I was thirsty. Breathing deeply is still painful, and I have to force myself to do the deep breathing exercises that will clear out my lungs. Hate that with anesthesia.
Day two I was definitely more sore -- just incision pain and left shoulder pain that a heating pad would ease. Pain meds once or twice during the day, but the pain never got bad. Strangely I did feel like I had been hit by a truck. My legs, arms and entire abdomen were sore. Pretty much I just waited for the day to pass. I am finding it very, very difficult to get all of my fluids in, and especially difficult to get the protein in. I admit I have not done as well as I predicted. I thought that would be the easy part, frankly.
I'm not hungry at all, and must remind myself to get the vitamins, protein and water in. What's more, I seem a bit off kilter on knowing what I should be eating and when. It was much easier being on the pre-op diet where I was always battling hunger. Now hunger does not remind me that it's time to ingest food. I'm finding the vitamins and calcium supplements more of the sweet, gritty stuff that I must force down. Note to self...next time do not get the Bariatric Advantage supplements -- they are huge and just gross.
I actually went to work for awhile on Thursday, after having my surgery Monday. It went okay, and I did not stay the whole day. I'm going back Friday for most of the day, then have a three-day weekend to really recuperate.
I've walked around the block each day just to ensure I can move! No pain, no issues. Helps with the gas for sure, and my doggie is happier.
Thought I would start writing down my intake so I will have for the nutritionist when I visit at my 10-day post-op appt.
Tuesday - August 28
1/2 scoop unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
3/4 cup pureed chicken/noodle soup
1 scoop of unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
3 16-oz bottles of water
Wednesday, August 29
2 cups nonfat milk
2 scoops unjury protein powder
1 cup tomato soup
2 16-oz bottles of water
Thursday, August 30
1 scoop of Unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
1 cup of tomato soup
1 muscle milk - vanilla (God-awful tasting) 21 grams of protein
1/2 cup grapefruit (light) juice
3 16-oz bottles of water
I can tell my head hunger is starting up a bit, which I suppose is natural. Crispy crust pizza and grilled cheese sandwich is on my mind's menu. I think I might be getting a glimpse into the grief that comes with recognizing that my relationship with food will forever be different. I wonder if I will get to enjoy food again as I have done all my life. On the other hand, I can feel that my body is losing fat. My stomach is still bloated and swollen, so I can't really see it, but my scales have started moving downward. Today I was 248 and was 252 on my way to surgery -- though right after surgery I was up to 260 on my scales, not what I wanted to see.
I find that taking very shallow baths (no water touching my incisions) keeps me sane and pretty normal. I've had quite a few little naps that do seem to also keep me going.
My goal is to make it through Friday at work, and spend the weekend resting up. My schedule at work is such a nightmare right now. Keep reminding myself that I have to take care of myself and that means keeping work in its rightful place. It has taken over my life, and I've come to know that is true.
Okay, before I sign off. Burps and farts. No burps, but I am getting some pretty foul smelling toots working their way down.
I'm also in a protein mess, because I cannot drink the Muscle Milk crap. I've ordered some Procel to put into my water, since I am sick of sweet chocolatey shakes. My surgeon wants me to rely on shakes for a good part of my weight loss, so finding one I can live with is essential. I like unjury okay, but again, I'm sick of sweet.
I'm home. I'm banded. I'm ready for the rest. Thanks to God for my speedy recovery, smooth surgery, and for the rest of my life.
Day two I was definitely more sore -- just incision pain and left shoulder pain that a heating pad would ease. Pain meds once or twice during the day, but the pain never got bad. Strangely I did feel like I had been hit by a truck. My legs, arms and entire abdomen were sore. Pretty much I just waited for the day to pass. I am finding it very, very difficult to get all of my fluids in, and especially difficult to get the protein in. I admit I have not done as well as I predicted. I thought that would be the easy part, frankly.
I'm not hungry at all, and must remind myself to get the vitamins, protein and water in. What's more, I seem a bit off kilter on knowing what I should be eating and when. It was much easier being on the pre-op diet where I was always battling hunger. Now hunger does not remind me that it's time to ingest food. I'm finding the vitamins and calcium supplements more of the sweet, gritty stuff that I must force down. Note to self...next time do not get the Bariatric Advantage supplements -- they are huge and just gross.
I actually went to work for awhile on Thursday, after having my surgery Monday. It went okay, and I did not stay the whole day. I'm going back Friday for most of the day, then have a three-day weekend to really recuperate.
I've walked around the block each day just to ensure I can move! No pain, no issues. Helps with the gas for sure, and my doggie is happier.
Thought I would start writing down my intake so I will have for the nutritionist when I visit at my 10-day post-op appt.
Tuesday - August 28
1/2 scoop unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
3/4 cup pureed chicken/noodle soup
1 scoop of unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
3 16-oz bottles of water
Wednesday, August 29
2 cups nonfat milk
2 scoops unjury protein powder
1 cup tomato soup
2 16-oz bottles of water
Thursday, August 30
1 scoop of Unjury protein powder
1 cup of milk
1 cup of tomato soup
1 muscle milk - vanilla (God-awful tasting) 21 grams of protein
1/2 cup grapefruit (light) juice
3 16-oz bottles of water
I can tell my head hunger is starting up a bit, which I suppose is natural. Crispy crust pizza and grilled cheese sandwich is on my mind's menu. I think I might be getting a glimpse into the grief that comes with recognizing that my relationship with food will forever be different. I wonder if I will get to enjoy food again as I have done all my life. On the other hand, I can feel that my body is losing fat. My stomach is still bloated and swollen, so I can't really see it, but my scales have started moving downward. Today I was 248 and was 252 on my way to surgery -- though right after surgery I was up to 260 on my scales, not what I wanted to see.
I find that taking very shallow baths (no water touching my incisions) keeps me sane and pretty normal. I've had quite a few little naps that do seem to also keep me going.
My goal is to make it through Friday at work, and spend the weekend resting up. My schedule at work is such a nightmare right now. Keep reminding myself that I have to take care of myself and that means keeping work in its rightful place. It has taken over my life, and I've come to know that is true.
Okay, before I sign off. Burps and farts. No burps, but I am getting some pretty foul smelling toots working their way down.
I'm also in a protein mess, because I cannot drink the Muscle Milk crap. I've ordered some Procel to put into my water, since I am sick of sweet chocolatey shakes. My surgeon wants me to rely on shakes for a good part of my weight loss, so finding one I can live with is essential. I like unjury okay, but again, I'm sick of sweet.
I'm home. I'm banded. I'm ready for the rest. Thanks to God for my speedy recovery, smooth surgery, and for the rest of my life.
